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Apply for Job or Not?


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#1 TinkerBella79

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:05 AM

Hello,

I am just after some advice please.

I have 3 young kids, aged 3 and 5 year old twins. The twins are just due to start school soon and my little one goes to daycare.

I currently work for a company that allows me to work 4 days at 8 hours a day and are very flexible and easy. There is no career progression or anything like that but it's easy. The kids are basically in care at the moment for 10 hours a day.

I applied and got a job with another company a few months back but my husband took another job on the same day and threw all our plans into chaos. I panicked and passed the other job in.

It was better pay (a whole lot better), full time with expected overtime but family friendly environment and challenging role.

The job has just become available again and I'm wondering whether to apply for it again or not.

It means that the kids could go to swimming lessons and dance lessons like they want but they'd have to go into afterschool care. We could also get ourselves out of debt which would actually be a big relief. Currently we are just scraping by and can only afford basics.

Just not sure what to do as I'm the primary care giver, my husband doesn't help much and is unreliable as we never know what time his work will let him come home. Basically I can't count on him for much at all.

My biggest worry is that I wont' be able to handle the stress of caring for the kids as well as working full time. I think the kids will like afterschool care but it will be a big day for them at 10 hours a day.

What do you think I should do?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
Juliette

#2 SplashingRainbows

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:13 AM

I would call the company and speak to the hiring manager or person who interviewed you last time and explain what happened last time m, then ask would you be able to be considered again. I think it would be important for you to be able to assure them you have the personal stuff sorted and would very much like the role.

As a woman, I think you should take it. Your marriage doesn’t sound like it’s gerribly respectful or supportive of you. A full time job with good pay will be the thing that will help you if he leaves or you leave him.

After you’ve been there a while you may be able to negotiate hours that are more favorable to life with kids. I would not do this now though. Get the job first.

#3 j-gray

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:21 AM

Lots of factors to consider here... would it help to mentally commit to two years of doing the role ? Getting yourselves out of debt is a big plus.

Agree with PP, your husband needs to change his attitude towards parenting. Sounds like a frank chat is needed, regardless of whether you take the job or not. Once the kiddies are at school many things get harder. He needs to do more.

#4 delta508s-mate

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:25 AM

I would also be inclined to ask why the role has become available again so soon.  There may be a perfectly legitimate reason, but a high and/or quick staff turnover may indicate some issue (of course, they may not actually tell you that).

#5 TinkerBella79

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:42 AM

I've just looked at it again and it is a lower position, so not as much responsibility which would actually be good but same pay pretty much.  

There is no reason to leave where I am other than financial and inability to progress. Is that a big enough reason to leave? I don't know how to decide what to do!

My husband is happy for me to apply, but doesn't really worry him either way (his words!) apparently. Frustrating!

My closest friend says to go for it. Family, don't really give me a definitive answer so that doesn't really help.

I don't know what would make me happier.

The more I think about it, I think the kids would like afterschool care and all the activities they can do there.

#6 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:47 AM

I’d never be able to manage 3 kids and working full time without a helpful husband. I also can’t imagine finding time for swimming and dancing with that schedule.

I’d ask if the new job can be done in 4 days, (or even if your current job can go to 3 days!) and if not then leave it be. You never know, if the last person didn’t work out, they might be willing to try you for 4 days a week. Insist on similar pay though. Maybe offer a few hours from home on the 5th day, but not a full load.

More money is nice, I get that. But would your kids prefer more time with mum, or dance lessons squashed into a busy weekend? What would your sanity prefer?

#7 coffy11

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:47 AM

I'd say go for it!  But know that you're going to feel resentful when the workload increases for you but you're husband isn't putting in.

#8 SeaPrincess

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:53 AM

View Postdelta508s-mate, on 10 January 2019 - 08:25 AM, said:

I would also be inclined to ask why the role has become available again so soon.  There may be a perfectly legitimate reason, but a high and/or quick staff turnover may indicate some issue (of course, they may not actually tell you that).
I agree with this. I applied for a position and was unsuccessful the first time, had an interview the second time it was advertised, but didn’t get it. Apparently the person was offered a job closer to home at that point. However, when I saw it advertised for the 3rd time in less than 12 months, I didn’t reapply.

View PostJGibb79, on 10 January 2019 - 08:42 AM, said:

There is no reason to leave where I am other than financial and inability to progress. Is that a big enough reason to leave?
Yes. When I took my current job, I was happy to have a well-paid job with minimal responsibility and no progression prospects. Over the years, that is no longer enough for me, but they couldn’t offer me much if I remained part time. Yesterday was my last day.

#9 hills mum bec

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:55 AM

If you are working 4 x 8 hour days now wouldn't the kids be going to OSHC anyway?  It's only an extra day.  I would definitely apply.

#10 ipsee

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:29 AM

I would be cautious to take on extra work hours the year the kids start school. They may be exhausted from after school care, get sick more, want you to come to events at school etc.

#11 Lou-bags

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:35 AM

I’d do it.

You sound like you want to, just a bit worried about how the kids will cope. They’ll be fine. And if they aren’t, we’ll, you revisit and make changes if you need to.

I do agree with a PP that you may find resentment for your DH not pulling his weight may build. Perhaps a frank chat about expectations on that front might help?

#12 kidwrangler

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:39 AM

It's impossible to answer this without knowing how your family works, the financial situation etc.

I do think after school care after a full day of prep / kindy is a big ask for little people. It can be completely different to a long day care.

Then again, it sounds like you have some financial stress which would be relieved.

Go with your gut.

#13 just roses

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:49 AM

If your husband's finish time is unpredictable, what about his start time? Our arrangement (both kids with after school activities and both of us working full-time) works because DH does drop off and I do pick-up. Yes, he's had to clear that with his manager and at times we've had to negotiate. But we're both equally responsible for the picking up and dropping off, regardless of who ends up doing it.

#14 =R2=

Posted 10 January 2019 - 10:07 AM

I know it's catastrophising (?sp) a little bit but look at your situation as if you are a single parent. It sounds like you already are anyway. If your marriage dissolved in the near future, would having this job be good for you to be able to support your kids and put a roof over your head, food on the table? I would make my decision based on that.

Note that I'm a single parent so I'm definitely biased and sensitive to your situation. My paid job is a blessing for all of us.

#15 jayskette

Posted 10 January 2019 - 11:52 AM

bet you anything the DH just took his job without agonizing over a forum about it. just apply, at the very least you get job search experience. then if it feels right just take the job. the kid stuff will just sort themselves out

#16 Cimbom

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:01 PM

View Postjayskette, on 10 January 2019 - 11:52 AM, said:

bet you anything the DH just took his job without agonizing over a forum about it.

This x100

#17 PsySquirrel

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:18 PM

You 100% can apply again - you are also interviewing the company for the role, you might learn that the new position wouldn't suit your needs or you may learn that it fits better than the last job. Just because you apply doesn't mean you have to accept an offer.

Quote

There is no reason to leave where I am other than financial and inability to progress. Is that a big enough reason to leave? I don't know how to decide what to do!

Wanting a job with better career growth opportunities is a very common reason people leave their current company, its a perfectly acceptable reason.

#18 Dianalynch

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:37 PM

Apply and defer the decision until you're actually offered the job.

If it's the first year of school, it's very different to long day care. DD did long day care 5 days a week, but wouldn't have managed after school care every day in prep. She was exhausted.

#19 tayto...

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:50 PM

Definitely apply! Your career progression is so important, as is feeling comfortable financially.

I'd also look at other options, such as a uni student taking them to do dance one afternoon rather than OOSH (you typically arent allowed into the dance lessons to watch anyway). Then that is also one less activity on weekends/more time together.  

I would also have a strong word with DH about pulling weight. Even if he has just ONE early afternoon a week so they are not in OOSH that day would be a big relief. If you can also work out something similar with your new job for one day a week (you mentioned they are family friendly) then with a uni student one afternoon too, that may only be 2 afternoons a week in OOSH.

Also with more money I would outsource as much as possible. I know you want to pay down debt, which is great, but if there is room in the budget for a cleaner or something else that lessens the load for you and gives you more kid time/me time, then do it!!

Good luck




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