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How does everyone else afford this? UPDATED


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#76 just roses

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:39 AM

OP, we are a Christian family, go to church every week and our kids have (until this year) been at a Christian primary school. And believe me, they STILL frequently come into contact with ideas and beliefs that don't align with what they're taught at home. In our case, it's because our kids have not been raised as conservatives whereas many of their classmates have been. But certainly not all. And at the other end, there are kids who are allowed to read and watch things that our kids aren't allowed to read/watch. Your theology won't align with the schools all the time, or even most of the time. And in a state school, you'll come across plenty of Christian kids and teachers. As a PP said, the term 'resilience' can be overused. But in this case, I think it does apply. Your daughter needs to know that people believe different things and that she will encounter different beliefs frequently, whether at a public school or at a Christian school. And teach her to question and think critically.

Ultimately, though, you can't afford it. Perhaps aim for it for high school, but you can't afford it now.

#77 Expelliarmus

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:44 AM

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?



#78 MarciaB

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:46 AM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 11 January 2019 - 10:44 AM, said:

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

If OP lives in Sydney then sadly that seems pretty reasonable for a home that accommodates 5 (soon to be 6).

#79 BECZ

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:47 AM

View PostCimbom, on 11 January 2019 - 10:30 AM, said:

Where do you live? In addition to dropping the private school, I think you need to move somewhere cheaper. I'm presuming the income you've stated is after tax.

From her posts, I'm guessing Darwin.  It would explain the reasonably high rent and the preschool's idea on the creation of the world.  Don't know how I'd go with no aircon in the car with a newborn with the heat and humidity.  My parents survived literally living out-back-of-Bourke with a newborn and then the Riverina, but that's a dry heat.  I hate humidity!

Edited by BECZ, 11 January 2019 - 10:49 AM.


#80 Crazyone26989

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:47 AM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 11 January 2019 - 10:44 AM, said:

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

It's how much I pay for a 2 bedroom apartment in Sydney's inner west. I wouldn't think it an unreasonable amount for a place big enough for 4 kids.

#81 EmmDasher

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:48 AM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 11 January 2019 - 10:44 AM, said:

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

$2k per month, I’m guessing $500 per week. Totally depends where you live.

In my area that gets you an unrenovated 3 bed, 1 bath queenslander on a scrappy block of land. That is within the 10km ring of a capital city. $500 for a family home would be considered pretty cheap for us.

It sounds like the OP is a bit more remote though.

#82 Amica

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:50 AM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 11 January 2019 - 10:44 AM, said:

It seems like a lot of rent. Am I out of touch?

In my neck of the woods, $500 a week would get you a McMansion but I appreciate that it's not the same everywhere. $200 - $250 is the going rate for a tidy 3 bed 1 bath, up to $350pw MAX, for new build 4 bed 2 bath.

#83 SummerStar

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:52 AM

.

Edited by SummerStar, 11 January 2019 - 12:21 PM.


#84 Expelliarmus

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:52 AM

While we were building we rented a three bedroom home for $350 a week. It wasn’t a huge house but the block was sizeable. Might have been $370 ... definitely 300 something. Either we had a good deal or because ... Adelaide.

#85 Amica

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:53 AM

View PostBECZ, on 11 January 2019 - 10:47 AM, said:

It would explain the reasonably high rent and the preschool's idea on the creation of the world.  

Now I'm out of touch. They seriously teach creationism in preschool? Is this the kind of education that is non negotiable vs food for the OP's DD and family?

#86 Mmmcheese

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:53 AM

Bunjil is Victorian. All preschools are supposed to embed an Indigenous perspective.

#87 just roses

Posted 11 January 2019 - 10:58 AM

$5000 a year for FYOS is far too expensive for one of the Christian or Catholic schools in Darwin. If OP is in Darwin and wants a Christian school, there would be cheaper options. But ultimately, housing security and food security needs to trump private education.

View PostAliasMater, on 11 January 2019 - 10:53 AM, said:

Now I'm out of touch. They seriously teach creationism in preschool? Is this the kind of education that is non negotiable vs food for the OP's DD and family?
Not biblical creationism. OP's daughter was taught a Dreamtime creation of the world.

#88 Tinkle Splashes

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:03 AM

Was she taught a Dreamtime creation of the world, or was she taught that some people believe in a Dreamtime creation? I find it hard to believe that Dreamtime creation would be taught as an historical fact.

#89 Amica

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:08 AM

That clears it up. Thanks PPs.

Basically she was taught to a cirriculum (indiginous studies), not ideology over science as fact. That is good to hear. We did as much as absolutely zero indigenous studies all through primary in the early 80s.

#90 robhat

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:15 AM

In my part of the world (Sydney suburb) you might get a reasonable 2 or even 3 bedroom apartment for $500 a week. If you want an actual house, you need to start at around $800 a week min. If you want to squish into a 1 bed place, you might get away with $300 a week.

Which is why I keep telling my poor neighbours who have one income (bus driver) and a 3rd child on the way, that they really don't NEED to live in Sydney. They are lovely people, but life would be much more affordable for them if they could come to terms with the fact that they can't actually afford to live where they'd like to.


And Aboriginal culture and stories including smoking ceremonies and the like are normal curriculum where I am, including and especially the two preschools run by my church. It concerns me somewhat that a child could actually be distressed by such stories for religious reasons.

#91 BECZ

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:29 AM

View Postrobhat, on 11 January 2019 - 11:15 AM, said:

It concerns me somewhat that a child could actually be distressed by such stories for religious reasons.

Me too!  

Although we basically follow Christian beliefs, there is a lot that we don't believe.  We left it open for our kids to believe what they want and most of them don't believe most of it, but up until now, they went to a Catholic school and just treated religion like a subject and wrote what the teacher considered to be the correct answer, even though they don't believe it.  They all actually typically did quite well in religion and never became upset or distressed over it.  My youngest believes more, but he just finished kindergarten and is in the frame of mind that because his teacher said that that is what happened, it must be correct.

#92 3babygirls

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:37 AM

I'm sorry but prioritising a religious education over food is ridiculous.. You know that there will  be kids at the religious school that also may not be religious right?

Also, if you are in financial stress now it may not miraculously solve itself just because when the kids go to school you can work. You can't bank on anything for sure! Your situation could get worse, someone could get sick, hubby could lose his job etc. you need to plan for the unexpected and set yourself up for the future, not bank that the future will be better.

Also, your paying 5K for fees.. there's still so much more that goes with schooling. Camps, excursions, uniforms, devices etc. the list goes on and on.

The things i'd look at
1) cut the private school, it's definitely not necessary.
2) look at your electricity usage and internet/phones. We have 4 adults and one kid, aircon and a pool and our electricity usage is less than yours!
3) start planning on how to save money and get a bit ahead once your on top of things. Really prioritise what you need and start trying to get out of the red.

#93 eliza_non

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:41 AM

View PostTinkle Splashes, on 11 January 2019 - 11:03 AM, said:

Was she taught a Dreamtime creation of the world, or was she taught that some people believe in a Dreamtime creation? I find it hard to believe that Dreamtime creation would be taught as an historical fact.

I know this is slightly off topic, but my kids daycare was really clumsy in their teaching of Dreamtime. The kids took it as fact. It got a bit out of hand. Plus yoga, crystals, Native American beliefs, basically whatever the lead educator’s passion was at the time. Their public school is nothing like this. Other cultures beliefs are taught in context and follow the national curriculum.

#94 Abernathy

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:42 AM

Perhaps the OP is exaggerating a bit when she talks about having no money for food half the time (??). Sometimes people use this sort of language to mean they’re low on some foods etc... I only say this because surely no one in their right mind would have children going hungry in order to pay religious school fees?? I tend to think that anyone who has genuinely been unable to feed their kids would not be having this conversation.

#95 ~river song~

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:43 AM

Chat to the school about fee assistance or a bursary, must religious schools have things in place for a family struggling.
You need to increase your income really. You’re hubby either needs a higher paying job, or you do or both, and look for a side hustle - a second job, selling your stuff you no longer need, weekend/night work do some googling lots of ideas around. Sometimes all the cutbacks in the world won’t make a budget work if there isn’t enough money and for 6 people that can often be the case.
As for the car I’d have your eldest go untethered if they are 6, that’s what we did for my eldest.
All the best


#96 just roses

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:51 AM

I don't think planning to earn more money is realistic at this stage. OP might be able to work a bit now, but she's about to have a baby so will be out of the workforce for at least a few months and - depending on her earning capacity - will lose a lot in daycare fees.

Also, are you hoping to save for a house at some point, OP? I think you need to work towards having at least $1000 in the bank for a rainy day. And as things stand now, it looks like you don't have any capacity to build up a buffer.

#97 Beanette

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:53 AM

View PostAbernathy, on 11 January 2019 - 11:42 AM, said:

Perhaps the OP is exaggerating a bit when she talks about having no money for food half the time (??). Sometimes people use this sort of language to mean they’re low on some foods etc... I only say this because surely no one in their right mind would have children going hungry in order to pay religious school fees?? I tend to think that anyone who has genuinely been unable to feed their kids would not be having this conversation.

Yes, I am a bit unsure about this part as well. For some people "no money for food" means no money to go out and purchase more, but there is still plenty in the pantry / freezer so no one is actually going hungry. Making do from what you already have is a whole different ball game to children being sent to be without dinner.

#98 just roses

Posted 11 January 2019 - 11:59 AM

View PostBeanette, on 11 January 2019 - 11:53 AM, said:


Yes, I am a bit unsure about this part as well. For some people "no money for food" means no money to go out and purchase more, but there is still plenty in the pantry / freezer so no one is actually going hungry. Making do from what you already have is a whole different ball game to children being sent to be without dinner.
That's true. But surely anyone in that situation - not being able to buy more groceries - can't afford private school fees. And what happens when the washing machine blows up or a child needs some sort of intervention for learning difficulties?

#99 literally nobody

Posted 11 January 2019 - 12:00 PM

Op surely there are much cheaper private catholic schools around?

if you really need another car id not be spending more than 10k at this stage.



#100 cabbage88

Posted 11 January 2019 - 12:15 PM

I'm still catching up on posts- thanks so much everyone. Just wanted to get a reply in before kids interrupt again.
We are 40k out of Melbourne. We recently moved, and our previous place had a deadline. The market at the time was really difficult, some places were going for 380PW,some 500. We ended up a little stuck on choice (cheaper smaller places all got snapped up) and took where we were thinking we would manage with hubbys recent pay rise. We have underestimated all the costs we were taking on at once for sure. We will probably move at the end of the lease in an attempt to get cheaper. I would LOVE to move further out, even Darwin, but my hubby is in the CBD and in a niche industry and getting paid well above his qualification at the moment.
We have also recently come out of a horrific ten years financially. Studying and serious illness for hubby made life incredibly hard. We have recently forked out$3k on cars, because we were unable to service/ do tyres for two years!! It was mental. I thought maybe playing catch up was killing us but now it's woefully apparent we don't earn enough for what we have taken on.
I am hearing what everyone's saying about private school. I do realise how nuts it sounds. I was paying the same amount in daycare fees before for just her, so I was thinking it wasn't going to be a big jump. But here we are.
And yes we can work more. DH is looking to take on his old job part time in a couple weeks outside his current hours, and just today if had more work confirmed for the next 4 months, which should bring in an extra 800 A week which is massive for us. Also when bub comes I'll at least be able to tread water for a few months as I'll get mat leave at a reasonable level, more than I'm currently earning! But will absolutely have to return to work as soon as bub is 4 months and it stops.
I've found all the insight in to private school very challenging, and certainly got a lot to think over. there is some excellent points here.
Will respond more when I can




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