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This is going to sound so stupid but...


95 replies to this topic

#76 born.a.girl

Posted 16 January 2019 - 07:01 AM

 Hands Up, on 15 January 2019 - 10:21 AM, said:

I still remember getting home from hospital and DH putting DS1 down on the floor (in the capsule, fast asleep) and us both taking two quick steps backwards and going ummmmm what now?


That was exactly us!


I find it really heartening to read this thread.  I'd sometimes thought some of my odd thoughts were odd, now I can see they are absolutely commonplace.

#77 born.a.girl

Posted 16 January 2019 - 07:06 AM

 ipsee, on 15 January 2019 - 08:45 PM, said:

Wow - I thought I was the only one who didn't want to instantly hold the baby a split second after they come out. Who decided that we all have to do that anyway.

That was me, too.   Elective caesar so all nice and calm, they must have cleaned her up a bit, wrapped her up and someone said 'now a first kiss from Mum'.  Hmm, o.k. but it felt very clinical and my first response was to panic a bit thinking 'hey, aren't you supposed to love them at first sight?', but it just felt surreal.

#78 all-of-us

Posted 16 January 2019 - 07:27 AM

After all my deliveries I never felt the maternal rush.  I had all quick labours and was more concerned with having a long labor and how I would cope.

After each delivery as soon as I could I wanted to shower and get my undies back on then I could look at new baby and have a cuddle   Good luck and enjoy your little one

#79 Sancti-claws

Posted 16 January 2019 - 07:57 AM

 ~J_F~, on 15 January 2019 - 09:16 PM, said:

I have no idea, it’s grosses me out. I prefer to hold babies after they have been washed personally.

I gave my first 2 a quick cuddle because it seemed expected then bolted for the shower. With the third I said pass her to her father and fell asleep, sleeping pills and labour are not a great mix Posted Image

I know - who thought of that?

When I had my first they said "oh, you're only 3cm dilated - have this sleeping pill so you can rest before the hard stuff" - so I was kept awake by horrible but chemically sleepy all night before someone twigged this was a posterior birth and I would need an epidural and maybe an emergency ceasar!!  (Thankfully the epidural did the job and baby came)

With the second (10 years later) three hours after giving birth they said "you've done this before, you can go now" and discharged me.  I was grateful not to be in the overcrowded ward, but this kid hadn't learned to be human yet!!!

#80 Toddlerandme

Posted 16 January 2019 - 08:30 AM

 Lou-bags, on 15 January 2019 - 11:17 PM, said:



This made me LOL!

At the hospital I birthed at, we weren’t allowed to walk around with our babies in arms outside our rooms, they had to be in the bassinets for safety reasons. So we wheeled DS1 up to the front desk and they checked me out and then suddenly I was allowed to pick him up and carry him out. So bizarre. I felt like everyone was looking at me thinking ‘she has NFI what she’s doing’.

My hospital had that rule too, Lou-bags. Except they checked you out in the maternity ward on the second floor, and then let you carry the baby down a really long corridor, in the lift and along another corridor on the ground floor.

My DD was peacefully asleep when it was time for us to leave. Then when I picked her up she woke up and screamed the whole way out of the hospital.

#81 Beanette

Posted 16 January 2019 - 11:19 AM

 Lucrezia Borgia, on 15 January 2019 - 10:42 PM, said:

c section here....they put the wrinkly baby with all his goo (or my goo i guess) on my chest.....that was ok. surreal but ok. but when the midwife appeared by my side and said “would you like to inspect your placenta” i was all “yeh nah i’m good thanks”....*

(*I have friends who did want to look at it, so she was right to ask...)

My OB asked if I would like him to lower the sheet so I could see DS being pulled out. HELL NO. That would be the stuff of bloody (literally) nightmares

DS came out in distress so by the time he was handed over to me he was all swaddled up and most of the goo had been cleaned off. It was an emergency csection and I wasn't fasted so I had a huge vomit during as a reaction to the anaesthetic. The glories of motherhood! :laugh:

#82 seayork2002

Posted 16 January 2019 - 12:18 PM

 Beanette, on 16 January 2019 - 11:19 AM, said:


My OB asked if I would like him to lower the sheet so I could see DS being pulled out. HELL NO. That would be the stuff of bloody (literally) nightmares

DS came out in distress so by the time he was handed over to me he was all swaddled up and most of the goo had been cleaned off. It was an emergency csection and I wasn't fasted so I had a huge vomit during as a reaction to the anaesthetic. The glories of motherhood! :laugh:

DH who was the most squeashmish person on the planet was with me and my mum at the birth, my mum was holding my hand and the Midwife (one of those old school don't mess with kind IN A VERY GOOD WAY) thought she best put him to some use so had him helping out at the other end.

I think I may have been asked if I wanted to see or be told what they were doing NO WAY! I was happy to be told what to do and kept myself busy with the looks and the colour drainage of his face! highly amusing

#83 *bucket*

Posted 24 January 2019 - 07:55 PM

My first DS was 9 weeks early and precipitous labour. I was still fully dressed when he was coming out. A cast of thousands arrived, he basically fell out and was then whisked off to NICU. DH and I were left totally stunned and disbelieving. I said something along the lines of if we were going to have him adopted out, now would be the time as it didn't even feel like he existed. Totally weird.

Before he arrived so quickly, I was hoping I could just be knocked out for the birth and wake up to a cleaned baby. The designated job of my DH was to make sure no icky, slimy baby was put on me! As it turned out, for me, pregnancy was much more difficult than birth (hyperemesis); all three times.

OP, I hope everything goes well for the rest of your pregnancy, and the birth.

#84 Zeppelina

Posted 24 January 2019 - 08:21 PM

 tayto..., on 16 January 2019 - 11:21 AM, said:

This is my other bit of advice to soon to be parents (as an aside, I do try to make sure my advice isnt unsolicited!!). I felt a strong sense of duty and care towards DD1 but the proper love didn’t start til 3-4 months and then took another few months to grow. I wish I had known this was normal.
Yes, this!! I felt so much guilt and shame for months and possibly even years because I didn't feel that maternal love from the moment DS was born. I thought there was something wrong with me, I thought I was the worst mother. Like you, tayto, it took a few months for it to develop. I wish somebody had told me at the time that *not everybody* feels it straight away, and that it was ok.

#85 Nasty Teens

Posted 24 January 2019 - 09:00 PM

 Lucrezia Borgia, on 15 January 2019 - 10:42 PM, said:

c section here....they put the wrinkly baby with all his goo (or my goo i guess) on my chest.....that was ok. surreal but ok. but when the midwife appeared by my side and said “would you like to inspect your placenta” i was all “yeh nah i’m good thanks”....*

(*I have friends who did want to look at it, so she was right to ask...)

No 3 I was asked, yeah nah . But you have this ultra rare placenta thing - we are inviting the free world to look. YeAh. No.

#86 Lou-bags

Posted 24 January 2019 - 10:51 PM

 Zeppelina, on 24 January 2019 - 08:21 PM, said:

I wish somebody had told me at the time that *not everybody* feels it straight away, and that it was ok.

Not even most people, if my discussions with my friends who are mothers is anything to go by. Especially first babies. It’s all such a shock really, becoming a parent all of a sudden like that.

#87 newmumandexcited

Posted 25 January 2019 - 06:25 PM

I haven’t read the comments but don’t overthink it. Just go in and go with the flow, whatever that may be.

I felt maternal immediately with my first but also wtf, a baby!!

Edited by newmumandexcited, 25 January 2019 - 06:28 PM.


#88 Lalala4

Posted 25 January 2019 - 07:56 PM

 Nasty Teens, on 24 January 2019 - 09:00 PM, said:



No 3 I was asked, yeah nah . But you have this ultra rare placenta thing - we are inviting the free world to look. YeAh. No.

Ooooh what was the ultra rare placenta thing??

Edited to add my apology if this is too nosy.

Edited by Lalala4, 25 January 2019 - 07:57 PM.


#89 blueskies12

Posted 25 January 2019 - 08:02 PM

Oh gosh, and then in years to come it’s possible that you’ll look back on the whole experience and feel clucky all over again. I’d better stop reading now! Ha

Edited by blueskies12, 25 January 2019 - 08:03 PM.


#90 Nasty Teens

Posted 25 January 2019 - 09:18 PM

 Lalala4, on 25 January 2019 - 07:56 PM, said:



Ooooh what was the ultra rare placenta thing??

Edited to add my apology if this is too nosy.
I was too over it all to care. Placenta circum?.. maybe. None of the midwives in the tertiary hospital had ever seen it beyond textbooks. They were excited. Baby (now 17) was fine. Therefore I failed to care. I did sign something beyond the ordairy so it could be kept for teaching purposes.

#91 MooGuru

Posted 25 January 2019 - 11:19 PM

 Nasty Teens, on 25 January 2019 - 09:18 PM, said:

I was too over it all to care. Placenta circum?.. maybe. None of the midwives in the tertiary hospital had ever seen it beyond textbooks. They were excited. Baby (now 17) was fine. Therefore I failed to care. I did sign something beyond the ordairy so it could be kept for teaching purposes.

I wonder if any EBers are going to be like a fan club, "NO WAY!  That's your placenta! I got to touch it!" Or your placenta is in a textbook somewhere.

Edited to remove unhelpful anecdote for this sort of thread.

I've always wondered if medical textbook people know they are medical textbook people or if they go about their lives completely unaware that nasty rash they had as a 12yr old is still being used as the example photo for nasty rashes around the world.

Edited by MooGuru, 25 January 2019 - 11:21 PM.


#92 Sancti-claws

Posted 26 January 2019 - 05:43 AM

 MooGuru, on 25 January 2019 - 11:19 PM, said:

I wonder if any EBers are going to be like a fan club, "NO WAY!  That's your placenta! I got to touch it!" Or your placenta is in a textbook somewhere.

Edited to remove unhelpful anecdote for this sort of thread.

I've always wondered if medical textbook people know they are medical textbook people or if they go about their lives completely unaware that nasty rash they had as a 12yr old is still being used as the example photo for nasty rashes around the world.
I have a friend whose ex-husband was apparently a medical textbook case.  He definitely knew, but his mother didn't have a proper womb and he was incubated in the cavity?  She was hospitalised for nearly the whole pregnancy and there are photos of his outline visible under her skin in textbooks.

#93 Silverstreak

Posted 26 January 2019 - 01:50 PM

Forgot to add, even though I was very organised during the pregnancy, I forgot one major thing: how I was going to feed the baby during and after I came home from hospital!

After I'd given birth, I realised I had no breast pump or bottles in case I needed to express, or even a tin of formula for back up. I didn't even know how to mix formula. My mum ended up buying a breast pump for me whilst I was in hospital and I bought bottles and a steriliser during the first week when I got home.

If I had my time over again I'd at least buy a breast pump and take it into the hospital with me. That's another thing, I went public and there would be a wait for the breast pump machine, which was kind of annoying, especially when you're sleep deprived.

So I recommend if you have a breast pump and you're going public, take it with you! I ended up passing on my breast pump to a pregnant friend and I made sure she was given it before labour, so she could bring it to hospital with her if she wanted.

#94 ainira

Posted 26 January 2019 - 02:16 PM

 Silverstreak, on 26 January 2019 - 01:50 PM, said:

Forgot to add, even though I was very organised during the pregnancy, I forgot one major thing: how I was going to feed the baby during and after I came home from hospital!

After I'd given birth, I realised I had no breast pump or bottles in case I needed to express, or even a tin of formula for back up. I didn't even know how to mix formula. My mum ended up buying a breast pump for me whilst I was in hospital and I bought bottles and a steriliser during the first week when I got home.

If I had my time over again I'd at least buy a breast pump and take it into the hospital with me. That's another thing, I went public and there would be a wait for the breast pump machine, which was kind of annoying, especially when you're sleep deprived.

So I recommend if you have a breast pump and you're going public, take it with you! I ended up passing on my breast pump to a pregnant friend and I made sure she was given it before labour, so she could bring it to hospital with her if she wanted.

On that point, I just hand expressed when I had to do top up feeds (with syringe). The nurses provided the sterile containers (the same cup things they give your pain killers in). I'm not sure if a breast pump is THAT critical to have in hospital because the amount of milk/colostrum babies are having each feed  at that early stage is very small. I did have a breast pump at home though.

#95 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 19 February 2019 - 09:08 PM

I think we all have that moment OP!

Honestly I don't really think or remember that much about my kids births but I certainly remember the moment I first got to hold them. Ill never forget that!

#96 cabbage88

Posted 20 February 2019 - 06:01 PM

There's so much about birth that amazes me now... the more I've learned about the nature of the female pelvis and a babies head the more it makes sense. There's literally a pathway the skull takes as it passes through and the baby's head turns to come out. Their head, our pelvis and our skin is so much more pliable than you can imagine! I think I'd spent so long being told babies "destroy" your vagina, you fit something the size of a watermelon out of a lemon sized hole but it's so not like that. Our bodies are amazing, they're made for this. They change, they adapt, then they recover. And can repeat! Yikes!
The moment walking out of the hospital with my first baby was the scariest moment of my life. Everything else in life was mandated, regulated and required a license. But you're sending me out those doors with a freaking baby and I have NO IDEA what I'm doing?! Yikes!!



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