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#1 chillipeppers

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:33 PM

My kids don’t want to throw any toys away. My house is an utter mess because they don’t want to part with any toys. Can someone please tell me how to make them realise we can’t live with so many things anymore?

We have toys in the dining room, lounge room, bedrooms and living room. LEGO is a big issue as well.

#2 ineedmorecoffee

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:38 PM

We had similar issues with our 7 yr old dd and after we watched a few episodes of Consumed on Netflix, it just clicked for her.

She was able to relate to how its harder to play and move around when there is too much stuff lying around.

I recommend watching an episode that focuses on the sheer amount of toys. Good storage solutions also help.

Good luck.

#3 Pooks Combusted

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:41 PM

We’re selling stuff in order to fund a new video game. DS has always struggled to part with things but boy did I find his currency.

I also had the strategy of putting things into plastic tubs in the garage “to be stored” and then seeing if they were ever missed. They weren’t.

I have a pretty good toy storage system going so that helps control what’s left. Everything has a home. What is your system?

#4 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:42 PM

Be the parent. Tell them they have to downsize their toy collections and if they won't, you will do it for them.

#5 chillipeppers

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:45 PM

View PostBoganly Pooks, on 22 January 2019 - 08:41 PM, said:

We’re selling stuff in order to fund a new video game. DS has always struggled to part with things but boy did I find his currency.

I also had the strategy of putting things into plastic tubs in the garage “to be stored” and then seeing if they were ever missed. They weren’t.

I have a pretty good toy storage system going so that helps control what’s left. Everything has a home. What is your system?
we have a toy box in one of the bedrooms which is where most toys live but the kids don’t like playing in there and the toys get lugged around the house. It’s also so full that not every toy in the house will fit in it anymore. That’s not really a system though. What do you do to make it work?

#6 chillipeppers

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:47 PM

View PostFeral Grey Mare, on 22 January 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:

Be the parent. Tell them they have to downsize their toy collections and if they won't, you will do it for them.
ive tried this and it results in tears and we don’t seem to get anywhere.

#7 Mumma bug

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:48 PM

Do it when they’re not at home. That’s what I’m going to do next week. But my kids are young and I’m hoping they won’t notice. Their grandparents own a toy shop. You can imagine the state of my house!

#8 chillipeppers

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:53 PM

View PostMumma bug, on 22 January 2019 - 08:48 PM, said:

Do it when they’re not at home. That’s what I’m going to do next week. But my kids are young and I’m hoping they won’t notice. Their grandparents own a toy shop. You can imagine the state of my house!
mine are 9 and 6 and they won’t even let go of toys they had as babies. I think I might throw away what I can when they are not home and hope they don’t notice.

#9 timtam92

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:55 PM

I have a 6 year old and I do some with him and some without. The other day we sat down and said he needed to donate 5 soft toys (he still has around 30). It was hard for him, but we got there. We then had to pick 5 books - ended up with more. We also got rid of a few toys. The rest I have done while he was out. He has so much stuff and rarely notices if I get rid of it.

#10 bikingbubs

Posted 22 January 2019 - 08:56 PM

I do 1 keep, 1 donate when going through things.  Applies to everything - soft toys, games, cards etc etc

The only exception is their toy they sleep with which they have both had since they were born

Mine also resulted in tears a few times, but they are still alive :)

#11 QuirkyMum

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:04 PM

Sit with them and watch episode 1 ( the Kerr family) of Consumed.
For a simpler solution, when they are away pack up and to the garage/Vinnie's all their baby toys.
Next time toys for preschoolers

Next toys they never play with.
Toys that annoy you.
They will never notice. You can say you "tidied up", not that you threw away their baby toys.

#12 Pooks Combusted

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:05 PM

Each of the kids has a unit basically identical to the IKEA Kallax 4x4 in their rooms (I got one from Bunnings and one from Kogan when they were cheap). They have 12 cubes each, and to store smaller sets I use see through shoe boxes from Kmart, 5 fit inside a cube.

Each cube has a theme. The kids can take a cube or shoe box out into another part of the house, and when they’re done the toys go back where they belong before the next lot come out (well... in theory). It also helps with toy rotation. It makes it pretty clear which toys are the favourites, too.

DD is 3 she has cubes for: musical toys, Barbie-sized toys, babies and their accessories, craft, puzzles, dress ups, larger dolls and their accessories, smaller play sets in shoe boxes, blocks, stuffed toys, dolls house stuff, and one with random stuff like bags and her toy laptop.  

DS is 7 and he has cubes for: his marvel playskool/imaginext collection, his “action figure” dolls, craft, Pokémon, sensory toys, a few with the shoe boxes of various collections and play sets, cars, dress ups, stuffed toys, lego and a random one which is usually bits of crap he insists on holding onto that I carefully discard when the moment is right.

In the living room we have a locker-style tv unit where I store everything “educational” and board games, and the dolls house, play kitchen and kids bookshelf lives there too.

#13 LDG

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:07 PM

I also "disappear" toys when my son is away.  Some were chucked out these holidays.  I'm another who packs them up into storage boxes and if they are untouched they'll be the next lot to go when I get the chance.  

The ridiculous thing is I reckon at least 10 times I've thrown away something that hasn't been touched, looked at or even mentioned in 6-12 months and for sure the next day "where's my.......toy?"  This included a Buzz Lightyear who's legs and one arm were held on by sticky tape. I would just play dumb on their whereabouts  but he's starting to wise up now.

I'm working more on the other end of the process now.  Buying fewer toys.

#14 Jenflea

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:24 PM

I have a coffee table that DH made that has 6 white containers with lids on them for most of DD's toys. All labelled, all organised(Vehicles, cars, lego, Shopkins, dinosaurs and miscellaneous). She can only keep what fits in those 6 tubs, anything else goes. I had clear plastic tubs but they look messy and were all different sizes and it hurt my head to look at them.

Under her bed she has four large plastic containers(those underbed storage things) for dress ups and barbies.

It's taken me a few months of culling it all and I'm doing my utmost to not buy more stuff but it's getting there.

Also if they cry I don't honestly care. It needs to be done, she can do it with me or I'll do it by myself but it's getting done. It's my house and I need to be able to move around in it and actually LIKE my space.

Books are next on the list, she's got books she's not read in years that are way too young for her, they can go to someone who'll read them.

#15 Jenflea

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:26 PM

https://www.target.c...basket/61445512

Are the ones I got.

#16 EmmDasher

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:36 PM

I have always set the space for toys- eg. Toys must fit in this storage and if it doesn’t fit then something must go.

Beyond that, we did this process with great success. https://www.momshave...-toy-clean-out/

With baby toys, I simply remove them without fanfare. If asked I just say, that they’re toys we’ve outgrown and we pass them on to someone else to love so we can enjoy what we have more. It’s an addendum to the rules in that article, ‘we don’t keep outgrown toys’.

Most of all though, I lead by example. When we decluttered I didn’t tackle their toys straight up. I did my own stuff and let them see me doing it and I talked about what I was doing and why. I’m guessing you’ve already tried that though.

I personally believe that kids do better with less toys than more. I have no issue with stepping in and doing it for them if as a parent I consider that they need help and regardless of how unhappy it made them.

The other thing you could try is a toy rotation - packing away all but a select number of items. Letting them experience what it is like to live with less. If they like it they might be more enthusiastic about making it permanent. It’s easier to sneak out packed away toys too 🤫

Edited by EmmDasher, 22 January 2019 - 09:38 PM.


#17 Octopodes

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:49 PM

We do similar to Pooks. A 'soft cull' where unused toys get stored in the garage, if they aren't reclaimed after a couple of months, they get sold, donated etc.

The rest is stored in Kallax shelves.

My mother in law is an actual hardcore hoarder. I use her as an example of what happens if you never throw anything out. DS hates going to her house so it works as a good motivator to get him to participate in the culling process.

I don't get rid of anything he still uses regularly or has a genuine sentimental attachment to, which is why I like him to partake in the sorting of stuffs instead of doing it behind his back.

#18 Ellie bean

Posted 22 January 2019 - 09:50 PM

Have you talked to them about how eg with the baby toys, another little baby will get to play with them? I’ve found that helps a lot. We get some stuff handed down to us from friends with older kids and talking about how we then do the same is good.

#19 Fresh Start

Posted 22 January 2019 - 10:02 PM

My kids have inherited their dad’s hoarding tendencies.

In the past I have hidden things in my wardrobe and when they don’t look for it in the next few months it goes.

We watched Consumed and Netflix after Christmas and they really took to a clean out, helped that we got several sales day 1 listing on Facebook and they got to keep the cash! DS is pretty ruthless at the moment, DD is better but not as ruthless.

At their dad’s place more stuff is piled every where every time I go inside for any reason - I think the fact they can’t use the dining table and the bench is disappearing might help. Funny thing is he used to insinuate I was the one to clutter the dining table.

#20 Mollycoddle

Posted 22 January 2019 - 10:26 PM

View PostFeral Grey Mare, on 22 January 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:

Be the parent. Tell them they have to downsize their toy collections and if they won't, you will do it for them.

This. Mine are 7 and 10, when I take a rare day off work to get stuff done around the house while they're at school I go through it all and toss/donate. They very rarely even notice that anything in particular is missing.

#21 Fresh Start

Posted 22 January 2019 - 10:40 PM

View PostFeral Grey Mare, on 22 January 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:

Be the parent. Tell them they have to downsize their toy collections and if they won't, you will do it for them.

View PostMollycoddle, on 22 January 2019 - 10:26 PM, said:

This. Mine are 7 and 10, when I take a rare day off work to get stuff done around the house while they're at school I go through it all and toss/donate. They very rarely even notice that anything in particular is missing.

You’re not really doing what FGM said - she said tell them to downsize or you’ll do it for them. You just do it when they’re not around, as have I in the past.

#22 Ellie bean

Posted 22 January 2019 - 10:43 PM

I can’t do it when dd isn’t around because it ramps up her anxiety if she realises that toy she hasn’t touched for 8 months isn’t there- well I suppose I could but it’s not worth the emotional cost of it for her or us- but telling her a certain amount of stuff has to go and helping her and giving her ownership of the choices does work
I could just do it for ds when he’s at school with no issue though


#23 mayahlb

Posted 22 January 2019 - 11:00 PM

I can’t do it while the kids are around. I’m waiting for them to go back to school so I can get into their room and throw out pretty much everything in there. Seeing how all the toys they are actually interested in are in the living room (they have a little draw unit thing so I don’t go insane) or in the spare room which they decided to now Slee in because apparently their room has spiders... they haven’t stepped foot in their for almost the entire school holidays so I reckon they won’t miss any of it.

Then I cull before gift time. Or sell if it’s in good nick. Mostly not though as I’m lazy and that’s too much effort and my kids use stuff until it breaks and then refuse to let me chuck out broken things ...

#24 CallMeFeral

Posted 22 January 2019 - 11:27 PM

How old is your child OP?

I've had some success with getting them to choose what to keep (and only fill a box) rather than what to give away. Or as PP said putting stuff in a box for storage... if it's not asked for in a year it can normally be chucked without them noticing/caring. Or finding their currency, as pp's have mentioned.

View PostFeral Grey Mare, on 22 January 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:

Be the parent. Tell them they have to downsize their toy collections and if they won't, you will do it for them.

If 'be the parent' means make authoritarian ultimatums then just be careful with this. My mum used to do this and also chuck stuff when we were out of the house, it inspired in both my brother and I a real fear of letting anybody touch our stuff or help us clean - to this day if someone tidies my stuff I get fear about what's missing and distrust about what might have been thrown. My brother is a clinical level hoarder who keeps sweet wrappers and doesn't let anybody into his room - probably multiple causes but feeling unsafe about our stuff being thrown without our input would have been one of them.

#25 gracie1978

Posted 23 January 2019 - 04:04 AM

My son is four and is very good at throwing away broken toys and donating ones he has grown out of.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm very good at it and he has inherited that from me, or if he is just following my example?

When you decluttered all of your things, did they help? Did they see you do it?




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