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Prostate Cancer - Hormone Treatment Effects
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Posted 31 January 2019 - 01:15 PM
So as some may be aware my Dad is officially in remission and will do ongoing checks and i think hormone therapy.
He only just had his second hormone injection.
Did anyone with similar notice a change - like he got so angry and ugly with me over text recently, I was really hurt but he feels he was justified (long story). Like even DH was shocked at how my Dad would not stop, and it was our little family (DH, DD and DSS) holiday in 5 years - first night away.
I am trying to remind myself emotionally he will be up and down and struggle to sometimes control his emotions and reactions, but wondering if this is going to be the new norm, random outbursts or what
I hate confrontation so first time in years its had me back on anxiety meds as I daily find i dread checking emails in case he finds another reason to pick an argument with simply because we have different opinions.
Posted 31 January 2019 - 03:46 PM
My step dad had hormone therapy for 12months, I think it was an injection every 3 months. They told him to expect menopause type symptoms. Right away we noticed he was hyper sensitive emotionally, but also his general moodiness was enhanced. He also suffered terribly with hot flashes. He was always "worst" the first fortnight to four weeks after an injection. He finished the hormone therapy about 6 months ago and is back to his usual self now.
I know things said will still hurt, but try to keep in mind that he doesn't really have control of his emotions right now. Focus on the fact that he's well! Good luck to the both of you.
Posted 31 January 2019 - 09:30 PM
Thanks PP I agree in remembering for myself his treatment is having an effect. His recent injection (3 monthly too) was a week before his blow up at me, he got really nasty no matter what I said that my DH made me turn my phone off I was so distraught
Hopefully it settles but thank you for confirming based on experience - it helps my own processing of events on top of all else
Posted 31 January 2019 - 11:01 PM
Yep my dad also becomes really emotional and grumpy but refuses to admit it. I have to remind myself to try to bite my tongue.
That said my dad has not gotten stuck into me like that, I’m glad your dh got you to turn your phone off, it’s ok to take a step back at moments like that
Posted 01 February 2019 - 12:13 AM
I think you have to take it easy with him and his emotions, just think of it like your period, you get cranky and achy and might say something you regret. I am sure he does not mean to and we get defensive of our emotions and how we perceive things.
Perhaps when you know he has an injection perhaps steal yourself away for a few days and let your dad deal with the hormone surges in a way he is comfortable. Try and not get him to do stuff on the day and in the days after and limit communication and practice some self care, he knows your there for him but turn off the phone or stick to safe topics he enjoys talking about and leave the hard ones to the side until you know he is back to his old self again and can have a better handle of himself and his emotions.
Try and be reassuring and I am sure if he looks back at his texts in a more rational mind that he may be embarrassed and may apologise down the track.
It has been traumatic what he has been through and people forget that remission often involves a lot of trauma and release of anger and hurt at going through such a horrible health ordeal and the feeling of powerlessness and now that he can't regulate his hormones it must feel pretty emasculating having the treatment and a reminder of what he has gone through.
Take it easy on yourself and try and not take things to heart, I am sure things will become better and more manageable as time goes by. Also exercise some personal boundaries.
Posted 01 February 2019 - 09:46 AM
Totally agree and haven’t said anything other than sorry if I upset him without meaning to so I didn’t put it back on him for exactly the reasons you describe
I’m trying to act like normal so he doesn’t think he has pushed me away - it’s just hard for me too but I’m a peace keeper just seeking validation that it’s normal so to speak which gives me peace to not take it to heart
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