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Support needed (sensitive)
187 replies to this topic
Posted 08 February 2019 - 09:27 AM
Dear EB member,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your darling baby. I am thinking of you.
Be kind to yourself, I hope you have lots of love around you.
Posted 10 February 2019 - 10:30 AM
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm another who would like to hear about your beautiful baby if you wish to share. Please know that your baby matters.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:06 PM
Thank you for all your comments.
It is me who lost my baby full term after going into labour and heading to the hospital. I never hit active labour and we lost his heartbeat whilst I was being prepped for an epi for an emergency c section. His trace was fine he fought til the end.
I’m not sure why I was hesitant to share- mainly worried about my screen name becoming known to IRL friends.
Some times I don’t even know why I torture myself still reading EB and sometimes it gives me comfort.
These I don’t really know what I want. And my partner is even less communicative.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:31 PM
Oh OzgirlKK, I’m so sorry. Do you have family and friends to support you?
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:41 PM
I'm so sorry Ozgirl. What a traumatic experience for you and your partner. Just truly and completely devastating :-(
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:45 PM
I am so so sorry for the loss of your darling baby Ozgirl xxx
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:48 PM
So sorry for your loss Ozgirl.
It's not surprising you don't know what you want. You have just been through one of the most traumatic events possible. Take your time, seek support where you feel comfortable, and know that you and your little boy are in all of our thoughts.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 03:57 PM
I am so sorry. I cannot even imagine what you are going through. Please talk about your beautiful little boy.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:05 PM
I am so very sorry for your loss, and glad that you have been able to share with all of us. As has been said, take your time and find the support that YOU need.
There are many here (sadly) who will be able to support you from first hand knowledge of what you are going through, and many of the rest of us who want to help as best we can.
I hope you and your partner find the comfort and support you need after such unimaginable loss. Go easy on yourselves. My heart breaks for you.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:18 PM
Thinking about you OzgirlKK. I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through.
I like EB as it helps me validate my feelings I'm a mother despite not having a child here. It's a weird balance between helpful and masochism at times.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:40 PM
Ozgirl I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy.
I hope you can draw from EB whatever support it is that is helpful for you right now. I can imagine that it would be equal parts comforting and painful.
Please know that your little one won't be forgotten x
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:50 PM
I'm so very sorry Ozgirl. There are no words. A big hug from an internet random x
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:53 PM
Hi ozgirl, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your little baby boy.
I can't imagine what you are going through but glad you did decide to seek support from EB and I thank you for sharing your story too.
Lots of love and hugs
Posted 20 February 2019 - 04:56 PM
OzgirlKK I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your darling baby boy.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 05:04 PM
Hmmm support is an interesting one, most of my support is coming from interstate friends which can be a struggle.
Some people local desperately want to ‘help’ but I know they just won’t offer the support I need. I can’t quantify it but I just know they can’t provide it.
I am struggling with my partner in more ways than one. Whilst desperately trying to acknowledge he is just grieving differently.
I got asked for the first time in Saturday night if we had any kids. DP wasn’t with me at the time and when I told him later he said ‘so did you say no?’ Like it is supposedly that easy...
In one of the books I read someone said that they typically decided in the moment whether they would ever see the person again and that would help them to decide their answers. And I agree (Ie simpler to say no to a stranger) but dark in the moment it was so hard. I actually burst into tears, so they knew something happened but they never actually heard what.
I tried to go to a sands support group and the only other lady there had a m/c 12 weeks. And whilst it sucks, it’s not the same.
No stillbirth is even close to the same experience l, I went to hospital in labour thinking ‘this is it’.
Other people get the news at an appt - it can’t even imagine that.
I was also lucky I was out of it (the switches to a GA when we lost the HB) doing a ‘natural’ birth probably would have been horrific.
Equally for my DP who got lead out of the OR and had to listen to the code...
Posted 20 February 2019 - 05:06 PM
I'm so very sorry. I wish this hadn't happened, for you, your son and your family.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 05:08 PM
I’m bad with words. I’m sorry.
Edited by Caribou, 20 February 2019 - 05:08 PM.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 05:08 PM
And then you have the work colleague who thought it would be helpful to pass on her Dr advice after she had, had a couple of m/c
“Well at least you know you can get ph”
She knows my age, knows we need IVf, but she doesn’t know that my DP is pretty much saying No, right now and I don’t have time to wait for him to recover.
And that’s IF my relationship survives.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 05:42 PM
I am so, so sorry.
You do have a child, that died but you have a child.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 06:10 PM
Ozgirlkk, I’m so sorry. I really don’t think there are words that will help. I’m so sorry for the loss of your baby and turmoil you are now in.
It is not fair.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 06:23 PM
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your precious babe.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 06:25 PM
I’m so sorry, Ozgirl. I can’t imagine. Please be kind to yourself.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 06:42 PM
I am so very, very sorry.
You can share your son’s name if you feel comfortable.
I am so sorry for what you’ve been through, for the trauma and the loss of your precious boy and the pain and heartbreak of navigating these days.
My grandmother lost her full term baby in labor. She was an old lady when she told me what happened and cried for her girl. The pain never left, that baby was always her baby, even as she went on to life a beautiful life, bearing the scars.
Posted 20 February 2019 - 07:34 PM
Oh OzgirlKK I am just so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. I just can’t imagine the heart break and horror you are living right now, it’s so so unfair.
I know you said you can’t articulate what you need right now in terms of support, but EB is here for if it helps to share about your son. I bet there are members local to you who’d be happy to provide support in person too. If you’re in Perth it would be my honour to come and sit with you some day soon for a little while. You could talk or cry or just be and I could make you tea and listen.
I’m so very sorry.
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