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Bad enough for sleep school?

18 replies to this topic

#1 Daffy2016

Posted 25 February 2019 - 10:21 AM

Hoping to get some perspective on this please.

DD is 17 months. Since she was six months, she’s needed a feed and resettling overnight. At the end of last year it got really bad and she was awake for one to two hours overnight, refusing to settle. We went to sleep group (a three hour seminar thing) and implemented the strategies. She got better and would sometimes sleep through, other times still wake but settle straight away after a feed.

But now she’s getting worse again. She goes down reasonably well, but wakes around 1 for a bottle and then hates being out back in her cot. The last few nights she’s been okay because DH has settled her, but she just wails if I do it.

I cannot go back to how it was, it will push me over the edge. I know she’s not anywhere near as bad as some, so I feel guilty taking up a spot in sleep school when someone else has it worse!

Is this bad enough to go or should I wait and see if she gets better again?

#2 Elly_Bells

Posted 25 February 2019 - 10:28 AM

If you're feeling like it will push you to the edge if her sleep changes for the worse again, it is definitely time to go. Don't think of it as taking someone else's place, it sounds like you need it. I went with my 7 month old and they had him sleeping through the night on the first night. They will help you move away from feeding overnight and hopefully make you feel confident enough to deal with the regressions when they happen.

#3 Soontobegran

Posted 25 February 2019 - 10:31 AM

You know your limits, other people have different thresholds for coping and if you are worried about you then of course it is bad enough.

Lots of luck, it is awful when you are in the midst of it......it is such a throw away line but  'this too will pass.'

#4 Bigbaubles

Posted 25 February 2019 - 10:43 AM

Yep, go.
If you feel you need it and it's affecting you then do it.

We took our six month old and we had so many comments from people saying 'oh my kids are the worst sleepers I wish we could go to sleep school'... my response was well why don't you.. the one we went to was free!

#5 Apageintime

Posted 25 February 2019 - 10:47 AM

I would join some support groups on facebook, the beyond sleep training group is lovely.

#6 Kattikat

Posted 25 February 2019 - 11:02 AM

One of my favourite mantras is "If it's not a problem for you, then it's not a problem". So I guess the opposite is true: if it's pudding you to your limit, then it's clearly a problem! There's a lot of anxiety tied up with sleep stuff, I'm the same my DS was shocking and although my DD isn't as bad as he was, I know how bad it can really be after months and months of no sleep so I'm trying to be more proactive this time around, even though she's 'only' up 3 times a night. Just do it!!

#7 panda eyes

Posted 25 February 2019 - 11:23 AM

If you think that sleep school could help you then you're "bad enough" for sleep school.

Sleep isn't a competition. If you want help then you deserve help, regardless of whether other people are worse off!

#8 Lids84

Posted 25 February 2019 - 06:38 PM

I think if her sleeping is doing your head in and making you miserable then maybe do it? But if its not bothering you dont worry about it. At least you will have support at the sleep school if you choose to do it

#9 ilovethebeach

Posted 25 February 2019 - 06:58 PM

Just go don’t overthink it

#10 nasty snaugh

Posted 25 February 2019 - 07:04 PM

Go to sleep school

Lack of sleep is horrific for the entire household, and if it's making you anxious it's probably time to go

I went twice in DSs first 6 months, for different reasons - I honestly believe it saved my sanity, both times

#11 Caribou

Posted 25 February 2019 - 07:15 PM

Go to sleep school. If it’s bad enough for you, it’s bad. It’s not about how bad it needs to get for her, but how it impacts everyone too. That kind of sleep pattern would do my head in. You poor thing. I’ve had a few nights where Both kids would party for a few hours, but thankfully they snapped out of it real fast. But that long? I’d go see someone.

I hope you get the sleep you need. Let them know the truth about how you’re dealing. If you go ‘ oh I can wait,’ they will make you wait ahead. If you need help now. You need to stress the impact it’s having on you.

Good luck.

#12 Mrs Zee

Posted 25 February 2019 - 07:23 PM

I'm hoping something in these links will be helpful to you OP.




I also agree with apageintime that the fb group called the beyond sleep training project is really helpful to help gauge what's normal sleep and to know you aren't alone.

#13 Future-self

Posted 25 February 2019 - 09:18 PM

View Postnasty snaugh, on 25 February 2019 - 07:04 PM, said:

I went twice in DSs first 6 months, for different reasons - I honestly believe it saved my sanity, both times
One of my biggest early parenting regrets was not going to sleep school with DS in the first 6 months. He needed it; I needed it and the lack of sleep nearly killed me, ruined my mental health and completely ruined my enjoyment of early parenthood.
One of my reasons was -surely others have it worse. No. All those who had feelings like I did were bloody sensible and at sleep school regradless of exxtly how many minutes their baby slept for or was up for or whatever. Focus less on the miniature of the baby;s sleep and more about the overall picture. Go!

#14 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 26 February 2019 - 12:31 PM

I had an absolutely dreadful sleeper.  At least 90% of his life was spent screaming, and he did not sleep.  I asked to be sent to sleep school and was told it would get better.  It did not get better and I do feel that the lack of support from my GP caused me a lot of anxiety and stress and this has affected everything since then.

#15 blueskies12

Posted 26 February 2019 - 08:08 PM

Definitely go. Be proud of yourself for speaking up. I wish I had gone with my first, but I too thought others have it worse. I think if it’s effecting the household/ your mental health.

#16 Rhosko2

Posted 26 February 2019 - 08:20 PM

You need to be ok so if you need it go, if you are ok you can focus on the family being ok.

#17 maryanneK

Posted 26 February 2019 - 08:26 PM

View Postpanda eyes, on 25 February 2019 - 11:23 AM, said:

If you think that sleep school could help you then you're "bad enough" for sleep school.

Sleep isn't a competition. If you want help then you deserve help, regardless of whether other people are worse off!

this. just go.

I hate the way so many women end up putting up with shocking sleep patterns because they are told its normal and to basically suck it up.

#18 Prancer is coming

Posted 26 February 2019 - 08:28 PM

Without knowing the particulars of your sleep school,  most of these places would triage.  If they thought someone was more important than your referral, they would accept that person before you.  So you don’t need to feel guilty about taking anyone’s place.  If you meet the criteria for the service they will tell you when they have space for you and you should use them guilt free.

Edited by Prancer is coming, 26 February 2019 - 08:28 PM.

#19 dadwasathome

Posted 26 February 2019 - 08:49 PM

If you think it’s bad enough you need to go, it’s bad enough to go. We all go way past realistic limit.

After our experience with DSalmost16, my advice to new parents is always “if you think you need help you really do so don’t be afraid to ask”

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