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Conversations with tiny humans


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#1 Riotproof

Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:13 PM

Dd just said to me “Why are persons real? “

Me “Umm. What do you mean? “

Dd “I meeeeeean what I said. “

Me “Okay, what do you think?”

Dd“Maybe they just like talking or somethink”

Had any good ones lately?

#2 daisy007

Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:20 PM

Ds “let’s pretend to be pretend”

Me “ok how do we do that?”

Ds “you stand over there like a statue and then I’ll move you to where your supposed to be”.

Me “sure”

We then played that do the next 20 mins and apparently I wasn’t very good at pretending to be a pretend statue.

#3 Mollycoddle

Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:22 PM

My DS(7) is so gracious at receiving gifts! I brought him back a fancy plastic cup from the aquarium and he says 'Awww, I was just thinking about penguins...in the bottom of a cup!' (2 floating penguins in blue liquid in the bottom of the cup).

Once a few years ago he got me a sticky tape dispenser for Mother's Day. When I unwrapped it he says 'It's just what you always wanted!' (No, I didn't have one so it WAS useful!).

Edited by Mollycoddle, 07 March 2019 - 05:23 PM.


#4 HolierThanCow

Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:26 PM

'Mummy would you be sad if I died in a cage?'
'Yes, I would be very sad.'
'And then if someone opened the cage and I came back, you would be happy!'
'Yes. But please try not to die in a cage.'
'Okaaaaay...' (Rolling eyes)
(Miss 3 doesn't have a strong understanding of death yet)

#5 Zippypeaks

Posted 07 March 2019 - 05:30 PM

Me: C'mon son, let's go!
DS: No mummy, the sun can't come with us, it's too high in the sky!

#6 Mooples

Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:37 PM

Me: ds can you please get me a nappy for baby.
Ds: sure mummy here you are.
Me: thanks possum
Ds: no problems you’re welcome mummy it was my treasure.

#7 JustCurious100

Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:39 PM

View PostMooples, on 07 March 2019 - 06:37 PM, said:

Me: ds can you please get me a nappy for baby.
Ds: sure mummy here you are.
Me: thanks possum
Ds: no problems you’re welcome mummy it was my treasure.

Oh my heart!

ETA - I'm loving reading all of these

Edited by JustCurious100, 07 March 2019 - 06:40 PM.


#8 Renovators delight

Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:40 PM

DS5 - Mummy I loved being inside of you and drinking all your blood, I wish I was back inside.

DS3 - When I grow up I going to drink DS5's blood.

OK then, vampires.

#9 Starlia

Posted 07 March 2019 - 06:54 PM

DD5 telling a joke:

Why did the hippopotamus go into the sea?

Poor, hapless person: ooh, I don't know! Why did the hippopotamus go into the sea?

DD5: it didn't. Why would it?
(Combine with contemptuous glare)

#10 little lion

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:26 PM

Mr 4: You’re not very smart. You don’t even know that the earth is moving.

Me: (thinking “Umm you didn’t even ask me so whatevs!”)

Me: That’s not a very kind thing to say.

#11 Dianalynch

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:44 PM

Over the past few weeks DS4 has been talking about how fun it would be to have a new baby in the family, with all the associated difficult questions.

He's been quiet on it for the past few day, then tonight at dinner when everyone was silent 'I think we should call the new baby Lavender.'

#12 born.a.girl

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:45 PM

View PostZippypeaks, on 07 March 2019 - 05:30 PM, said:

Me: C'mon son, let's go!
DS: No mummy, the sun can't come with us, it's too high in the sky!


They do take things literally.

When my daughter was four, I said one day 'oooh quick, the supermarket closes in 20 minutes, put your skates on '.

Five minutes later, me: 'what are you DOING???'.


Her:  'putting my skates on'.

#13 born.a.girl

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:47 PM

I hope you're writing all of these down.

I didn't realise that all of this magic tends to drop off dramatically once they reach school age, and the voice of reason starts to enter their head.

#14 Mollyksy

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:48 PM

DS aged 5 was asking for a bunch of new toy trucks. That's not in the budget kid" I told him. He seriously looked me in the eye. "Mum, just how much dollars does your work give you". "DS, mummy earns enough so we have a house and clothes and food and a little fun, we are ok". "Mum, how many dollars" he asked firmly. I catch myself as I was about to tell him and open myself to a 5 year old auditing my spending and told him that was private. He was totally serious he wanted to know.

#15 little lion

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:50 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 07 March 2019 - 07:47 PM, said:

I hope you're writing all of these down.

I didn't realise that all of this magic tends to drop off dramatically once they reach school age, and the voice of reason starts to enter their head.

I have an email address set up for each kid and I like to email them funny little snippets like mispronunciations and unintentionally awful things they’ve said.

#16 FiveAus

Posted 07 March 2019 - 07:58 PM

My boys were aged 3 and 4. We were going to the local shopping centre that day to see Santa. I could overhear them having a conversation about it.

Master 3 "Do you think Santa is scary?"
Master 4 "No but you have to watch his hands"
Master 3 "His hands? Why?"
Master 4 (who knew everything at this age) "Gloves, he wears gloves to cover them up!"
Master 3 "Why does he wear gloves?"
Master 4 "So you can't see his claws. Why do you think he's called Santa CLAWS???"

I was in the next room, silently wetting myself from laughing so hard.

#17 Chelli

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:02 PM

DD: "What is that up there on the hill behind our house?"
Me: "That's the town water supply tank"
DD: "What do you think is inside the tank?
Me: :blink: :blink: :rofl:

DD, aged about 16 at the time. Not very tiny but sometimes not very bright either.

#18 kadoodle

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:14 PM

DS3, having ripped up a soggy bit on Lino from beside the bath: Who the **** did this? Don’t you think I have better things to do than fix your messes?
Me: scuse me?
DS3: you’re not scused, now get the fan so I can dry this out.

And

DS3: Why should I go to school, it’s boring.
Me: So you can learn to read and write.
DS3: Builders don’t need to do that.
Me: So how will you invoice anyone so they know to pay you?
DS3: DS2 can do that. He likes doing boring stuff.
DS2: *looks up from his book* sure.

Little bugger is 5.

#19 Mmmcheese

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:20 PM

Her dad use to be in a band way back in his yoof. When she was 3, after listening to one of his songs for a bit she 'can we turn that off now and listen to a good song'

Sick burn kiddo.

#20 ThreeBananas

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:24 PM

DS (aged 6) to me - I love you the most in the whole and tired world :wub:

Edited by ThreeBananas, 07 March 2019 - 08:25 PM.


#21 Zeppelina

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:27 PM

View PostRiotproof, on 07 March 2019 - 05:13 PM, said:

Dd just said to me “Why are persons real? “

Me “Umm. What do you mean? “

Dd “I meeeeeean what I said. “

Me “Okay, what do you think?”

Dd“Maybe they just like talking or somethink”

Had any good ones lately?
RP our daughters are a very similar age, I think, and that is a conversation I could totally imagine us having!


My DD (3.5) a couple of weeks ago:

DD: "Mum, do you think we'll get home before dad?"
Me: "No, I think they're already home."
DD: "No, we'll definitely be home first. We really will."

*Drive into driveway, DD sees her dad's car there*

DD: "Oh, bloody hell. You were right, dad did beat us home!"

Edited by Zeppelina, 07 March 2019 - 08:29 PM.


#22 MissMilla

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:42 PM

At a restaurant, adults drinking wine.
DS: Can I try wine?
Me: When you're my age you can.
DS: Because when I'm your age you're dead and you can' say no!

#23 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:44 PM

I was discussing the life cycle of the butterfly with DS1, 4 years old. Well, he was telling me all about it, egg to caterpillar, to cocoon, to butterfly, and the butterfly lays the egg and it starts again.
Then he asks “but where did the first daddy and mummy butterfly come from? Did someone make them?”
He was asking which came first, the chicken or the egg. He is 4!
So i had to explain evolution to him and that there wasn’t teally a first butterfly, but a long evolution of insects.

This boy is going to be hard work


#24 Black Velvet

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:51 PM

DS : "Mum, when you die I'll come visit you at the cemetery."

Me: "Aww, that's nice."

DS: "How often do you want me to visit?"

Me: "Oh, I don't know. Every now and then. Maybe Mother's Day, Christmas."

DS: "I'll come Mother's Day, but not Christmas. I'll have my own wife and kids to think about too you know."

#25 RocktonResident

Posted 07 March 2019 - 08:53 PM

DD5 - that's great driving today Mummy! You didn't hit anybody's houses today!

Me - um, I've never hit anybody's house with my car?




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