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Baptism - After ceremony


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#1 funnygirls

Posted 08 March 2019 - 05:43 PM

We have been invited to a Babtism and the invitation has details of the time and location of the ceremony, but doesn’t mention any celebration/get together afterwards.

Would you assume there will be something afterwards and they will provide details at the church or have we been invited to a Babtism ceremony only?

Thanks

#2 luke's mummu

Posted 08 March 2019 - 06:01 PM

It may just be the regular church morning tea after the church service. That’s what some people at my church tend to do. Could you ask the parents what time you expect to be finished by? As that will give you some indication if it’s morning tea or lunch.

Edited by luke's mummu, 08 March 2019 - 06:01 PM.


#3 Odd-1-Out

Posted 08 March 2019 - 08:10 PM

What church is it? Sounds like you are invited to the ceremony only.

#4 Carf79

Posted 09 March 2019 - 05:07 AM

I’ve hosted three baptisms for my children and we always included both the church service details as well as the venue details for a lunch to follow on the actual invitation. We assumed that some of our family and friends with small children would not always make the ceremony part first thing in the morning so they would also need the  after venue details for reference.

I would assume that the hosts are ether not having a function afterwards at all or trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function - ie similiar to being invited to a wedding ceremony but not the celebration part afterwards.

#5 Sancti-claws

Posted 09 March 2019 - 07:18 AM

View PostCarf79, on 09 March 2019 - 05:07 AM, said:

I’ve hosted three baptisms for my children and we always included both the church service details as well as the venue details for a lunch to follow on the actual invitation. We assumed that some of our family and friends with small children would not always make the ceremony part first thing in the morning so they would also need the  after venue details for reference.

I would assume that the hosts are ether not having a function afterwards at all or trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function - ie similiar to being invited to a wedding ceremony but not the celebration part afterwards.

I would assume that it was only the service and any morning tea at the church afterwards.

If they were "trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function" and having invite classes A and B, I would actually assume that my attendance were no necessary at all, but with stronger internal language.

Edited by Sancti-claws, 09 March 2019 - 07:19 AM.


#6 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 09 March 2019 - 07:34 AM

View PostSancti-claws, on 09 March 2019 - 07:18 AM, said:



I would assume that it was only the service and any morning tea at the church afterwards.

If they were "trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function" and having invite classes A and B, I would actually assume that my attendance were no necessary at all, but with stronger internal language.

I would feel honoured that they thought to invite me to the ceremony, even though they may not have room for me (or be able to afford to invite me) at a second function. It’s almost more special because even if you’re not immediate family or whatever, (as that’s usually the way it goes, it’s harder to say no to immediate family) they still want me to be part of it and still invited me. They could have not invited me at all, but did, that takes effort and thought.


But back to the OP, I would assume you’re invited to the ceremony only, and that there will either be a small celebration at the church afterwards, or nothing afterwards, or you’re not invited to the afterwards due to space or financial constraints.

#7 AliasMater

Posted 09 March 2019 - 08:11 AM

View PostSancti-claws, on 09 March 2019 - 07:18 AM, said:


If they were "trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function" and having invite classes A and B, I would actually assume that my attendance were no necessary at all, but with stronger internal language.

Same.

#8 Expelliarmus

Posted 09 March 2019 - 09:24 AM

They might be having the after celebration at the church? There might not be an after celebration?

I would assume it’s one of those and plan accordingly.

#9 ~J_F~

Posted 09 March 2019 - 09:28 AM

I would just roll with the assumption of nothing major is happening but prepared to say yes or no to a last minute this is happening invite.

View PostSancti-claws, on 09 March 2019 - 07:18 AM, said:


If they were "trying to limit numbers by not inviting everyone to the function" and having invite classes A and B, I would actually assume that my attendance were no necessary at all, but with stronger internal language.

Do you feel the same when this sort of thing happens at others events, like weddings or is it just baptisms?

#10 Sancti-claws

Posted 09 March 2019 - 09:48 AM

I wouldn't know - I haven't been to weddings where there were two tiers of invitations.

#11 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 09 March 2019 - 09:56 AM

They may not be having a celebration afterwards.

We only had a celebration afterwards for our first. After that too much hassle to repeat. Church ceremony only for us.

ETA my DD had to write about what happened after her Christening for school this week... she was a bit upset when the answer was everyone went home.

Edited by Veritas Vinum Arte, 09 March 2019 - 09:57 AM.


#12 CallMeFeral

Posted 09 March 2019 - 10:22 AM

For my DD's baptism, it was just tea and cakes etc at the church hall after. Can't recall whether we mentioned it on the invite or not.

I did recently go to a funeral service with no gathering after and felt a bit lost. Especially as I was 10 mins late (yes terrible I know) and there was only actually 10 mins of speaking so all there was for the hour I was there was milling around. It was odd.

#13 aluminium

Posted 09 March 2019 - 10:37 AM

Probs just refreshment at the church after. That's all we did. Mind you, church morning teas can be pretty awesome, esp if parishioners are kicking in with some treats (that's what we had).

Maybe just ask?

#14 Babetty

Posted 09 March 2019 - 10:44 AM

Similar to PP - we only had a separate celebration after our first, and morning tea at church for the second (took a huge cake, big enough for our guests and the congregation).

The then Governor of Queensland happened to be at the baptism of second child (just coincidence, but we have a lovely photo!), so that made hers special!

#15 notsoretro

Posted 09 March 2019 - 11:07 PM

View PostSancti-claws, on 09 March 2019 - 09:48 AM, said:

I wouldn't know - I haven't been to weddings where there were two tiers of invitations.
One of my boys is planning such a wedding now. They can have 300 for the 11am ceremony which will be followed by refreshments, but only 150 for the early evening reception. The ceremony will be at the church the bride now attends but a lot of the 300 will be from our church where she was previously a youth leader. Lucky I'm invited to both, grins

#16 Ellie bean

Posted 10 March 2019 - 12:08 AM

View Post~J_F~, on 09 March 2019 - 09:28 AM, said:

I would just roll with the assumption of nothing major is happening but prepared to say yes or no to a last minute this is happening invite.



Do you feel the same when this sort of thing happens at others events, like weddings or is it just baptisms?
I feel the same about weddings- why would I want to attend the church ceremony if I’m not good enough to invite to the reception


#17 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 10 March 2019 - 02:02 AM

DH and I were invited to a good school friend's of DHs wedding. Actually said on the invite, sorry we are not inviting everyone for dinner, but you can join us for dancing afterwards. Was a bit embarrassing to find that some of the friend group made the cut for the dinner and some of us didn't (maybe it should of been a dinner for family only?). We didn't bother turning up at 9pm for the dance. Wedding had been at 3pm as well.

#18 Sancti-claws

Posted 10 March 2019 - 06:21 AM

View Postnotsoretro, on 09 March 2019 - 11:07 PM, said:

One of my boys is planning such a wedding now. They can have 300 for the 11am ceremony which will be followed by refreshments, but only 150 for the early evening reception. The ceremony will be at the church the bride now attends but a lot of the 300 will be from our church where she was previously a youth leader. Lucky I'm invited to both, grins
However, had one of your sons put you on the B list, I think you would have a right to think "what the?"

#19 Luci

Posted 10 March 2019 - 06:27 AM

OP If they were planning a big lunch at a restaurant or similar then that would be on the invitation. I would probably assume there was nothing after the baptism, or just morning tea at the church.

I have been to many weddings and baptisms over the years and AFAIK never come across one where some people are only invited to the ceremony and not the reception afterwards. I am pretty old though, maybe it is a newer trend. If you are on the "B" list are you still supposed to chip in for the wishing well??

#20 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 10 March 2019 - 07:00 AM

View PostEllie bean, on 10 March 2019 - 12:08 AM, said:


I feel the same about weddings- why would I want to attend the church ceremony if I’m not good enough to invite to the reception

Because the wedding is the most important bit? Cause that’s the actual wedding?

Same with the baptism, the church bit is the most important part, the party is secondary.

Why feel miffed if you have been invited to the most important part of an event and not the party afterwards?

#21 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 10 March 2019 - 07:20 AM

because the parties are more fun?

#22 luke's mummu

Posted 10 March 2019 - 08:14 AM

View PostEllie bean, on 10 March 2019 - 12:08 AM, said:


I feel the same about weddings- why would I want to attend the church ceremony if I’m not good enough to invite to the reception

I think it’s more common in church circles- that you would invite the whole congregation to the ceremony as your “ community” and then close friends/family to the reception. I

I’ve also been invited by work colleagues to the ceremony only- which I was fine with- prefer just a verbal invitation than a fancy paper one though. I thought a fancy paper ones means you’re hinting for a gift!

Edited by luke's mummu, 10 March 2019 - 08:15 AM.


#23 Ellie bean

Posted 10 March 2019 - 12:01 PM

View Post~LemonMyrtle~, on 10 March 2019 - 07:00 AM, said:



Because the wedding is the most important bit? Cause that’s the actual wedding?

Same with the baptism, the church bit is the most important part, the party is secondary.

Why feel miffed if you have been invited to the most important part of an event and not the party afterwards?
Can’t speak for baptisms as I haven’t been to any, but with a wedding I’m not particularly interested in spending part of my Saturday attending the “most important bit” if I didn’t make the cut of the 50 or 100 people attending the reception because I’m clearly not that important to the married couple

#24 Luci

Posted 10 March 2019 - 02:15 PM

View PostEllie bean, on 10 March 2019 - 12:01 PM, said:

Can’t speak for baptisms as I haven’t been to any, but with a wedding I’m not particularly interested in spending part of my Saturday attending the “most important bit” if I didn’t make the cut of the 50 or 100 people attending the reception because I’m clearly not that important to the married couple

Same. Especially if I have to get dressed up, travel to get there, organize and pay for babysitting, buy a gift.

I know the marriage ceremony part is where the couple actually legally marry, but IMO a wedding is more than that. It is speeches, dancing, cutting the cake, toasting the couple, socializing and celebrating.  If the ceremony is held in a church then anyone is usually able to attend anyway they don't need an invitation.

#25 Pooks Combusted

Posted 10 March 2019 - 02:51 PM

My church usually just has the regular morning tea afterwards.




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