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FIrst breast cancer, now prostate .....

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#26 Chicken Pie

Posted 20 March 2019 - 02:49 PM

Good luck OP!

My dad was the same, he didnt tell me until he knew what he was dealing with - well more in terms of waiting on the official diagnosis

I think for some they dont have answers and that can be overwhelming so they would rather know as much as they can to manage the questions, but it allows them that time to process that initial shock...

keep us posted and thinking of you both

#27 BusbyWilkes

Posted 20 March 2019 - 03:15 PM

Fingers crossed for a good result (as good as possible) for you tonight. You've been in my thoughts (hope that's not too weird!)

#28 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 20 March 2019 - 03:44 PM

Not weird at all - I love EB for the support and cyber-thoughts.

Much appreciated - everyone!   Thanks.

#29 little lion

Posted 20 March 2019 - 10:08 PM

How did the appointment go? Thinking of you.

#30 Winging it Mum

Posted 21 March 2019 - 07:46 AM

Thinking of you to, I hope all goes well.

Am going through the same thing with my Dad - although he would be older than your DH. Sometimes I wonder how many hits he has to take as this will be what feels like another lot of cancer to deal with.

We find out next week what the plan is exactly but it's definitely going to be radiotheraphy and not surgical this time. Just I'm not sure how often it will be, one suggestion was 5 times a week - that seems a lot but who knows.

It's been a long wait & I'll be glad for him to when we finally know what the plan is. So I feel for what you're going through.

#31 Caitlin Happymeal

Posted 21 March 2019 - 08:02 AM

I'm always gobsmacked and extremely saddened when we get two family members being treated for cancer at the same time at work. Happens more often than I'd have believed before i worked in the field.

Hoping for the best possible outcome for your family OP. Glad to hear your DH is proactive and not a bury thier head in the sand type (not mentioning any names, my DH....).

#32 Minka1313

Posted 21 March 2019 - 08:18 AM

Thinking of you and your family! XxX

#33 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 21 March 2019 - 10:02 AM

Thanks everyone.

The appointment went as OK as could be expected.  (Actually better than I thought, but I'm a 'worst case scenario" person.

So the surgeon has recommended surgery - no surprise there.

Unfortunately the PET scan wasn't able to show anything conclusive, as the medium used didn't 'bind' with the cancer.  So we still don't know if it has spread, although his bones look clear, so maybe / hopefully only lymph nodes, if any spread at all.

Annoying that the $1000 cost didn't pay off with answers though!  

He's going to see an oncology radiologist for a second opinion, and then make some decisions.  

Thanks everyone for the support.  I'm feeling much better about it all now that we know what it is and the severity - now we can deal with it.  It is aggressive and needs to be dealt with, but it's not a death sentence!  

Ahh, what a year, already!

#34 Chicken Pie

Posted 21 March 2019 - 01:25 PM

what is the Gleeson score?

After surgery they wait 6 weeks and test PSA again and will know pretty straight away if there was a spread, hopefully there hasn't been a spread but clear bones is definitely good!

good luck with the second opinion...how is your DH feeling about it now?

#35 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 22 March 2019 - 12:30 PM

I get inconclusive PET scans. Dad had one plus MRI then meant to have ultrasound biopsy but they didn’t know where to biopsy so then needed CT biopsy. One Dr said (when no support person there) that dad would need his ear removed and half his jawbone... dad refused, but next Specialist he saw said growth was too small to qualify him for a medical trial as it was too small for measuring shrinkage. So WTF is one surgeon is say remove jaw and ear but another says it is too small?!?

Like you now awaiting a second opinion.

Goodluck with it all.

EB as you know is wonderful for venting or just to have listening people who care when you can’t talk about it IRL.

Edited by Veritas Vinum Arte, 22 March 2019 - 12:31 PM.

#36 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 22 March 2019 - 12:57 PM

All the best to you too, VVA.  It is so confusing when the specialists give conflicting advice.  I feel lucky that I work in health and have a nursing background, so I kind of understand some of what they are saying, and am able to research reputable publications, not just the Dr Google scare factor stuff.  It must be hard for people who don't have that.

DH is doing really well, I must admit.  He's much more matter-of-fact than I am and not prone to worst case scenario or unnecessary worry.  He's also very good at compartmentalising things.

Got the Oncology Radiologist appt on Monday, which is great - his surgeon called directly and asked for a quick appointment, so they are extending their surgery hours on Monday to fit DH in.

We've been really lucky with the response and the treatment from everyone so far.  Very compassionate and caring, all of them.  I found it the same when it was me last year, everyone is so helpful.

#37 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 22 March 2019 - 03:34 PM

Mum and I aren’t too bad medically. Mum years ago worked for Veterans Affairs approving medical stuff, I did 2 years of Applied Health Sciences. We also usually manage to find pub med appropriate stuff. We have a good idea where Dads condition is going, but don’t know timeframe of it.

I can compartmentalise things too. I am often accused of being unfeeling as I am a pragmatic compartmentalise type person.

#38 Mishu

Posted 22 March 2019 - 07:16 PM

Thinking of you and your DH. And everyone else in this thread who are dealing with cancer.

#39 Chicken Pie

Posted 03 April 2019 - 11:27 AM

How you all doing OP?

#40 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 04 April 2019 - 11:28 AM

Thank you for checking in.......

DH started treatment yesterday - he missed the boat for surgery as it seems to have spread, so 5 -6 months of hormones and radiation treatment ahead.

Luckily the stats on the outcomes are pretty much the same, and hopefully side effects will not be too hard to manage.

In the meantime, I had to miss my latest scan as we were at appointments for him last week. :closedeyes:   So I'm back on that next week - I'm feeling confident that all is ok though, and not having many side effects from the Tamoxifen, so I'm travelling OK.

DH still won't let me tell anyone though, which is driving me a little crazy.  I'm a 'talker' and he's not, and I know that our friends (just a select few) will be so supportive.  But it's his cancer, so I have to respect that.  He'll talk when he's ready.

I appreciate the support here......... :wub: :wub: :wub:

#41 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 04 April 2019 - 11:33 AM

ETA - Chickenpie - in answer to your question - his Gleeson was mainly 4+3=7, but with a few areas of 8,   Biggest problem is the suspected spread, as the scan didn't work on the lymph nodes.  MRI shows that his bones are clear though - unless microscopic.  

Hope your Dad is doing OK.

VVA - hope things are traveling OK for you too.

#42 Caitlin Happymeal

Posted 04 April 2019 - 11:47 AM

Glad he's on to treatment. When he's ready he'll tell people. But yeah its hard when you're and open book.

Come here for support whenever you need.

#43 Chicken Pie

Posted 04 April 2019 - 11:47 AM

All the best with treatment going forward

Yeah my dad had Gleeson level 9 and spread to chest, they still did the surgery though - to remove the "mother ship" as he said, and then radiation which killed that which spread

I have a colleague who went the route of your DH re no surgery and he is perfectly fine and its been like 5 years or something

My dad is ok, just lack of testosterone is creating a bit of a nightmare but I just remind myself of that....

also good luck with your scan xx

and yes, I imagine for some saying it out loud to others makes it too real for them or something, but everyone processes such tremendous journeys in their own way.

be gentle on yourself

#44 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 04 April 2019 - 12:05 PM

Fingers crossed your DH is fine with any side effects.

Thanks for enquiring abot Dad. Another scan and appointment at the end of the month then hopefully we will know where to go from there.

#45 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 04 April 2019 - 12:05 PM


My dad is ok, just lack of testosterone is creating a bit of a nightmare but I just remind myself of that....

We are (Actually, I am) having a giggle about this.  I keep telling him that when I hit menopause he will have to be extra-understanding, because he will already have experienced it.  

And threatening to make him watch sad movies to see which one of us cries first!  (He's always taken the p*ss when I cry at sad TV commercials, let alone movies).

It is a different journey for each of us, I'm trying to respect that.  I'm just not good at secrets...... but it's his secret to tell when he is ready - if ever.

#46 Chicken Pie

Posted 04 April 2019 - 12:37 PM

Good luck re your Dad as well VVA x

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