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Help please - Advice on Expulsion UPDATE #51

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#51 Winging it Mum

Posted 17 May 2019 - 10:15 AM

So a zoned local primary will take him for two terms.
Have been advised for secondary school that he's ranked low in terms of accessing a unit or special class which we expected.

I'm nervous & relieved. I have no info back from teachers and the Head basically gives me one-two word answers to any questions about support. Although he did ring to tell me a few things that have happened behaviour wise but then said that he thought he'd heard his name less this term so that was positive. No mention of when DS has been pushed up against walls or had his feet stomped on while waiting for class and I mean stomped not a gentle thing, but everything he does in their eyes is his fault. So in that sense I'm relieved.

I had his psychologist go out to the school but I'm not sure that'll be any help but we tried.

So next term, a new chapter begins and unfortunately a new OSHC to. On the plus side he can go to his old OSHC during hols and will go back there once he is in High School. For that I am very grateful.

Thanks for all your advice people, it's been the toughest decision in a long time that we've had to make.

#52 Karlee99

Posted 17 May 2019 - 11:08 AM

 Winging it Mum, on 17 May 2019 - 10:15 AM, said:

No mention of when DS has been pushed up against walls or had his feet stomped on while waiting for class and I mean stomped not a gentle thing, but everything he does in their eyes is his fault. So in that sense I'm relieved.

Oh this is so frustrating. I am under no illusions when it comes to my children, I am well aware of their faults. When our DD (now grown up) was in a small primary school the fact that her behaviour problems were focused on when other students got away with a lot worse was the point at which we changed schools and it was the best move we ever made.

Good luck with it all

#53 BusbyWilkes

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:27 PM

Well done. It's such a hard decision to make, but I think the school's current responses let you know it is the right one.

Try your best not to second guess your decision, especially as there are bound to be some hiccups during the transition. There will be ups and downs, but having him somewhere that wants him and will support him through when he does well and when he makes mistakes will make such a difference.

He is lucky to have you as his mum to advocate for him.

#54 Mollycoddle

Posted 17 May 2019 - 06:05 PM

I'm with you OP, dealing with this right now and have decided to move my son (8) from Catholic to public. I think at this point a Learning Support Unit is the best option but it's proving to be a battle to get him into one as all placements into these units in the ACT are centralised (sounds like it's the same for you?). We have been knocked back for this level of support already but I'm requesting a review as the info I initially gave them was his diagnosis and OT report, they didn't ask to see anything from the school specifying exactly what the behaviours are and what the school has tried (unsuccessfully) to do to deal with it. I intend to provide this info second time around. I'm enrolling him in the local public anyway, at least they will then see the behaviours and there is more of a system in place to support him whereas the Catholic system has jack in place for kids like this. The current school rings us regularly to come and pick him up as they can't handle him and the OSH is the same.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 17 May 2019 - 06:16 PM.

#55 Winging it Mum

Posted 14 June 2019 - 11:30 AM

Ugh, we only have seven days left of this term as he's spending other days at his new school. But no, I don't think we'll make it that far. Have been summoned to a meeting today to discuss those days & I have a feeling that they will be trying to suspend him.

They will use safety of the other students, but they have not protected mine. I know he's done the wrong thing but he will do whatever someone tells him to do and he'll tell you everything he's done wrong.

But to them he's a liar because he doesn't understand the concept of time, so if someone told him weeks ago to do something but he only acts on it today then that's his choice.

I am so tired. Yes I'm frustrated with DS but punishing him won't work & you only have SEVEN DAYS left to have him.

Anyway this is just a vent, I'm just so damn tired of the school and angry to. I'm pretty tired of ADHD and ASD as well but that's not a choice he has and we have to work towards him understanding things more.

So I guess in a couple of hours we'll know what's to happen but I just want to scream at the moment, so I'm typing it instead.

Edited to add.. I would have liked to work towards the school understanding him more to, it's a two way street.

Edited by Winging it Mum, 14 June 2019 - 11:31 AM.

#56 José

Posted 14 June 2019 - 05:08 PM

how did the meeting go?

#57 Caribou

Posted 14 June 2019 - 05:22 PM

I’m hoping the meeting was more of an ‘exit meeting’ some jobs do to summarise/wrap up the employment. Hopefully they didn’t give you any grief.

#58 Winging it Mum

Posted 15 June 2019 - 05:07 PM

The meeting went as well as can be expected - I wish I hadn't cried in front of the principal when the Head left the room. Realistically I think he would have been expelled had it not been for the fact he is leaving at the end of the term.

He's doing some transition visits to the new school but on the days he is at his current school they are keeping him in learning support & he will not be allowed to mix with his classmates. They will escort him out for recess and lunch at different times to the rest of the school.

It's a disappointing end to the term and there are many factors. He has done the wrong thing & it has upset another student and the parents are furious and I get that. I won't excuse what he's done, but they don't understand the encouragement he's had to do the wrong thing even if that encouragement didn't happen right before. It's been ongoing for weeks, but so be it, I'm tired of banging my head against a brick wall.

I'm hoping for him that going to a new school will give him a fresh start and a chance to be the boy we know that he can be.

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