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Help I think I choose the wrong breed


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#1 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 08:48 PM

3 weeks ago I purchased a golden retriever puppy who is a beautiful, loving, caring, warm natured dog BUT he is super hyperactive, chews on everything he can and loves to play bite. In essence a puppy.

I taught him not to bite me and he listens and doesn't bite me but he  keeps biting 3 year old DS. DS keeps letting him inside when I am in another room and the dog bites him and won't let go. When I am around I tell the puppy no but he keeps doing it. DS has scratches all over his legs.

I have only ever owned toy poodles and I just don't think I am up to owning such a big boysterouis dog. I feel so guilty but I admit I am happier when he is outside as I am not running around the house like mad telling the puppy no to everything.

I have a lot on my plate and must admit I am thinking of rehoming him. He is 11 weeks old. I just feel like I have failed. My uncle owned 3 golden retrievers and I even lived with him at the time and I don't remember the dogs being so hyper.

I take him for daily walks but I can't stand having him in the house and I miss having a lap dog. Should I rehome him? Obviously I would be very fussy about which home he would go too. I love him so much and it will break my heart but I just don't think I can devote the attention to a dog who needs constant minding.

#2 jayskette

Posted 08 April 2019 - 08:55 PM

a puppy of any breed needs constant minding.

#3 YumChaTheSecond

Posted 08 April 2019 - 08:58 PM

 jayskette, on 08 April 2019 - 08:55 PM, said:

a puppy of any breed needs constant minding.

Exactly. Goldens are beautiful dogs but all puppies need training to form good habits and know what is expected of them. It takes time and effort and attention.

#4 EsmeLennox

Posted 08 April 2019 - 08:59 PM

He sounds like a normal puppy to me. Sorry you’re finding it so difficult. Can you involve the puppy more in your day to day activities?

#5 amaza

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:00 PM

If you rehome him please don't get another dog. Any dog that is 11 weeks old will need constant attention. It's a baby.

#6 SMforshort

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:00 PM

If you contact the breeder, they will help rehome him.

#7 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:03 PM

I have owned 2 toy poodles and I don't remember having to follow them around saying no to everything continuously. I have taken him to puppy school, walked and played with him so please don't get the idea that I am a bad dog owner.

#8 Oriental lily

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:05 PM

Return him to the breeder who will be able to rehone him for you ( probably already has a waiting list with potential new owners )

But yeah, it’s just the way of puppies .

Within breeds they are all individuals . When I got my lab puppy I was very lucky because around the houses he was very chilled , never was a biter or jumper .

Yet you always hear the horror story of bonker labs that never grow up . Not my boy . He has been Avery easy dog to live with .

Did the breeder know you had a young child ? They normally make an effort to match temperaments with families .

Many poodle puppies are very jumpy and bitey though .

Might be just better to wait until the kids are a bit older .

#9 Oriental lily

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:10 PM

Will also add putting pup outside actually is making the situation worse . He will see coming inside  as a novelty so will never be able to relax . Dogs love to be with their  humans . So puppy will have a mixture of excitement and anxiety when inside .

Best to try and crate train him and crate him inside when he gets over excited .

He will be still part of his ‘pack’ but has a place to collect himself and calm down .

Did the breeder explain the positives of crate training ?

Edited by Oriental lily, 08 April 2019 - 09:11 PM.


#10 Indefinable

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:14 PM

Our old neighbours got a very active dog. They knew he wasn't right from very near the beginning but tried and tried before finally rehoming. If you know he's not right now then rehome him while he's still a puppy and has a very good chance of finding another good home.

It does sound like he needs a family with older children.

#11 LucyGoose

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:20 PM

Awww,  he’s 11 weeks old,  and sounds like a normal puppy.  He doesn’t need to be inside all the time,  you can teach him that he’s only allowed inside if in one particular room.   We used to have carpet and I trained my golden puppy that he was never allowed on the carpet.   He slept outside and just came inside when invited in.  I was no wonder trainer,  I simply said no every time and he picked it up quickly.
They are smart dogs and easy to train.  But whilst he’s a puppy he’s going to want to play and chew.  Get him chew toys and supervise him around your 3 year old.  
My puppy I speak of is now 11,  and is my shadow and has been the most gentlest,  well behaved dog.  He was exactly like you describe at 11 weeks,  probably till close to 1 year.   You are expecting too much.

#12 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:20 PM

 Indefinable, on 08 April 2019 - 09:14 PM, said:

Our old neighbours got a very active dog. They knew he wasn't right from very near the beginning but tried and tried before finally rehoming. If you know he's not right now then rehome him while he's still a puppy and has a very good chance of finding another good home.

It does sound like he needs a family with older children.

Thanks that's what I think, I love him so much, he is really a good dog but looking at the scratches on my son's leg is really giving me the idea that he won't suit us.

#13 tenar

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:28 PM

He's a golden retriever.  They are big and boistrous until they are about 3 years old. Not a great mix with young children, unless you can supervise, though by the time he's three and your son is 6 they will be lovely together, most likely.

He is going to need a lot of exercise while young: I'd guess (haven't owned the breed) that you'd be looking at 1-2 hours of walking daily from about 6 months old to when he's 3 or 4.  Have you talked to other golden retriever owners?

Any puppy would need that level of attention right now, though.  That's a puppy thing, not a breed thing.  Can you use a playpen or a crate to confine the dog when you can't pay attention to him?

Where did you get him from, OP?

Did you meet his mother?  If she was calm, he's more likely to end up calm.

Maybe adopting an older dog would suit your family better.

Edited by tenar, 08 April 2019 - 09:50 PM.


#14 JoanJett

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:30 PM

You need to either adopt a very regimented routine of training, including training your son/other family members as well as the dog, or return the dog to the breeder to allow it a chance to thrive in another family home.  

Retrievers are mouthy breeds.  They will chew - your job is to direct the chewing to appropriate outlets.  The first 1-2 years will see many things destroyed by chewing, even with training.  They are sociable and need their people.  They are also energetic.  They need exercise (physical and mental).  They respond very well to training and limits - a crate or puppy pen are very useful for the dog and all of you to have a break.  You need to monitor your son.  He should not be in a position to be interacting with a puppy on his own without supervision.

#15 FiveAus

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:48 PM

Please contact the breeder before attempting to rehome him yourself. Most good breeders will take back a puppy that hasn't worked out.

Your issues are the very reason I'm reconsidering selling puppies to families with small children.

#16 Paddlepop

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:53 PM

Please take the dog back to whoever you bought him from. A decent seller will take him back.

Meanwhile try locking your doors with a key so that your son can't let the dog in unsupervised. He can't be trusted to be left alone with the dog. Your son is too young. If you can't do that then take your son with you when you leave the room. Based on that, I think you should wait until he's older before you get another pet, and should consider an older dog who doesn't need to go through the annoying and time intensive puppy stage.

#17 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:56 PM

 Paddlepop, on 08 April 2019 - 09:53 PM, said:

Please take the dog back to whoever you bought him from. A decent seller will take him back.

Meanwhile try locking your doors with a key so that your son can't let the dog in unsupervised. He can't be trusted to be left alone with the dog. Your son is too young. If you can't do that then take your son with you when you leave the room. Based on that, I think you should wait until he's older before you get another pet, and should consider an older dog who doesn't need to go through the annoying and time intensive puppy stage.

Unfortunately the breeder has stated in his paperwork no returns.

#18 KA

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:58 PM

I think crate training will make your life a lot easier. Do some research before you do anything else.

#19 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 April 2019 - 09:58 PM

That seems odd from a breeder. I know our cat breeder considers all the cats part of his family and keeps track of them all. He'd take any back in a flash if needed.

#20 ~J_F~

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:01 PM

 Appleaday, on 08 April 2019 - 09:56 PM, said:



Unfortunately the breeder has stated in his paperwork no returns.

That’s really unusual for a decent, above board breeder.

A retriever will be a puppy for 3 years and they will chew everything and anything if they can get hold of it.

#21 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:02 PM

 ~J_F~, on 08 April 2019 - 10:01 PM, said:



That’s really unusual for a decent, above board breeder.

A retriever will be a puppy for 3 years and they will chew everything and anything if they can get hold of it.

Definitely an above board breeder.

#22 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:03 PM

Does it mean no refunds then? As in you can't return the puppy and get your money back. I can't imagine the breeder not assisting to rehome.

#23 Oriental lily

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:06 PM

Does not sound like a registered breeder . My  sister is a registered breeder and once drove for four hours in the middle of the night to retrieve a puppy she had sold a week before due to a lovely email saying puppy was going to be dumped in the pound due to it ‘giving them a nervous breakdown ‘

Were did you get the pup ? Online ?

Edited by Oriental lily, 08 April 2019 - 10:07 PM.


#24 ~J_F~

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:09 PM

 Appleaday, on 08 April 2019 - 10:02 PM, said:



Definitely an above board breeder.

If that’s true, then a really crappy one.

Breeders are invested in their litters and the outcomes, they spend time matching the pups to the right owners, they are happy to help rehome a puppy if it isn’t the right for for your family.

#25 Appleaday

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:13 PM

 Oriental lily, on 08 April 2019 - 10:06 PM, said:

Does not sound like a registered breeder . My  sister is a registered breeder and once drove for four hours in the middle of the night to retrieve a puppy she had sold a week before due to a lovely email saying puppy was going to be dumped in the pound due to it ‘giving them a nervous breakdown ‘

Were did you get the pup ? Online ?

No he was purchased from a diary farmer with papers.




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