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Help I think I choose the wrong breed


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#26 Paddlepop

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:13 PM

That's a sh*tty breeder. They clearly are in it for money and not for the love of the dogs. How much did you pay for the puppy?

Perhaps see if there's a golden retriever rescue group in your area who can help you to rehome him with a new family.

#27 Flimsy*But*Fun

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:17 PM

Gosh, our breeder was awesome.  She even offered to mind Roshi, for just the cost of food, if we ever went on holiday!

#28 bikingbubs

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:19 PM

Where are you located OP?

#29 Oriental lily

Posted 08 April 2019 - 10:22 PM

Yeah my sister puppy sits her pups for free as well if they go on holiday .

She also has ‘puppy family’ days in which she hosts a BBQ for a massive get together .

#30 Appleaday

Posted 09 April 2019 - 05:25 AM

After a very sleepless night due to thinking about losing him I have decided to give it one more week. I will also be more vigilant in watching him. He is the sweetest dog I have ever met. He doesn't bark, loves cuddles and is just doing what a puppy does. Any tips or suggestions are welcome.

#31 JomoMum

Posted 09 April 2019 - 06:12 AM

Is the dairy farmer the breeder?

#32 all-of-us

Posted 09 April 2019 - 06:24 AM

Good luck.  Hope you have a better week.

#33 knottygirl

Posted 09 April 2019 - 06:32 AM

Are you sure it’s a golden retriever? My pup is a maremma and they look similar but fur is more white.

Only ask because they are very common on farms.

#34 SummerStar

Posted 09 April 2019 - 06:39 AM

Does not sound like a reputable breeder to me. Not all registered breeders that provide papers are reputable, anyone can become a breeder. Takes more research than them being registered and providing papers to find one. Any good breeder will want to take their puppy back if it doesn't work out, you may not get your money back, but if you are going to get rid of it they prefer you return it. Good breeders offer a lifetime of support when you buy from them not just take your money and don't want to hear from you again. We got one of ours because it was returned to the breeder at 4 years old because they had a baby...

To be honest I have only had smallish dogs but I found ALL puppies hard when I still had small reliant children. Once all kids were at school and we got a new puppy 2 years ago it was the best, easiest experience ever and I enjoyed it. I think maybe an older dog through a reputable breeder would have been a better option given the age of your child. The one we got at 4 who was given back to the breeder spent two months with her before she rehomed him where she completely trained him ready for his new home. Was a great experience.

I'd suggest not getting another dog for a while if you do rehome this one and do some more research on breeders before doing it next time.

Edited by SummerStar, 09 April 2019 - 06:41 AM.


#35 SelceLisbeth

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:15 AM

Good to see you posting OP. I have been wondering how you are. I can understand why you wanted to bring an animal companion into your home. I think with everything else going on in your life though, maybe an older rescue dog would have been more appropriate? Youve had a very rough time or so and maybe adding to your responsibilities with caring for a puppy is more work than you need right now? Like PP's have said, at this age, you should have no trouble rehoming. I hope the next week goes well, but keep in mind your puppy will need more than a week's effort here and there. Good luck.

#36 FiveAus

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:16 AM

What are the papers? An ANKC registered pedigree, or just microchip and vaccination forms?

Here is a link to a free book which is very good. Maybe start with this:

https://www.dogstard...-get-your-puppy

Also train the child at the same time. Teach him to leave the puppy alone, to not let the puppy inside.

#37 Crombek

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:23 AM

I found it *more* important to train the kids (who were 4 & 2) when we got our Dally, which also have long childhoods. They need to learn to stop reinforcing the unwanted behaviours, you can’t do it for them.

Pups like this are just like another child. You cannot leave them unattended ever. Good luck. It’s exhausting but worth it in the long run

#38 Sentient Puddle

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:25 AM

 FiveAus, on 08 April 2019 - 09:48 PM, said:

Please contact the breeder before attempting to rehome him yourself. Most good breeders will take back a puppy that hasn't worked out.

Your issues are the very reason I'm reconsidering selling puppies to families with small children.

We have had goldies all our life and know exactly what we were getting and we have had a mix of rescue goldies that have come with issues and pups from breeders.  We got one puppy when the kids were young.  I am just glad that the breeder did homework on us and didn't strike us off from being potential owners due to small children.  The OP obviously didn't do any homework and is now regretting it - but not all big dog owners with small children are idiots!!  All puppies are hard work and it sounds like the OP is just not up to this challenge and needs to contact her breeder ASAP.

#39 Sentient Puddle

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:29 AM

The Golden Retriever Rescue organisation of NSW seems to  take all goldies and rehomes - even the really tough ones from puppy farms who wont be touched or patted.  They also operate all up and down the East coast into Victoria.

#40 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:37 AM

I have heard of rescue organisations and breeders not even giving dogs to homes with very young kids, for this reason. Dogs and young kids are a risky mix. Especially when they’re under 5.

If I were you OP I’d call the breeder, return the dog, and try again in a year or two. Try with an older dog perhaps, not a puppy. Or a different breed. ( Our pug is brilliant with our kids, always has been, and he was a chilled out puppy too. And definitley wants to be a lap dog)

Do it now, before the dog is too old.

Edit: just saw the breeder won’t take him back. That’s weird. I would call them anyway and explain, they may have a contact to give you of the “next in line” they had for the puppies? But a rescue organisation would be best, they have the resources to rehome properly.

Edited by ~LemonMyrtle~, 09 April 2019 - 07:45 AM.


#41 FiveAus

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:39 AM

 Sentient Puddle, on 09 April 2019 - 07:25 AM, said:

We have had goldies all our life and know exactly what we were getting and we have had a mix of rescue goldies that have come with issues and pups from breeders.  We got one puppy when the kids were young.  I am just glad that the breeder did homework on us and didn't strike us off from being potential owners due to small children.  The OP obviously didn't do any homework and is now regretting it - but not all big dog owners with small children are idiots!!  All puppies are hard work and it sounds like the OP is just not up to this challenge and needs to contact her breeder ASAP.

I know they are not idiots but my priority and obligation is ALWAYS to the puppy. I could sell my puppies 20 times over and if I can sell them to a fabulous home with older children or with no children, then for the most part I'd rather do that.

In the past I have always considered them, had the whole family over to see puppies and interact with them. Children chase puppies, won't sit down on the ground when holding them etc, and the parents are oblivious. And I say no. Wait til your kids are older.

One child was catatonically terrified of my adults dogs (who are calm, well trained and very well behaved) and the parents just dismissed the fear with "She'll be fine once she has her own dog."

I would rather not place a puppy in those situations, and I don't have to because I have dozens of other suitable homes to choose from. And I"m getting to the point where it will be a blanket "No" for any families with small children.

#42 Sentient Puddle

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:48 AM

 FiveAus, on 09 April 2019 - 07:39 AM, said:

I know they are not idiots but my priority and obligation is ALWAYS to the puppy. I could sell my puppies 20 times over and if I can sell them to a fabulous home with older children or with no children, then for the most part I'd rather do that.

In the past I have always considered them, had the whole family over to see puppies and interact with them. Children chase puppies, won't sit down on the ground when holding them etc, and the parents are oblivious. And I say no. Wait til your kids are older.

One child was catatonically terrified of my adults dogs (who are calm, well trained and very well behaved) and the parents just dismissed the fear with "She'll be fine once she has her own dog."

I would rather not place a puppy in those situations, and I don't have to because I have dozens of other suitable homes to choose from. And I"m getting to the point where it will be a blanket "No" for any families with small children.

I find that incredibly sad and disheartening - my "pup" is now 8 years old and best friends with my two teens - they took her to obedience and she is the most loyal, well behaved and loving dog as are the kids with her as they grew up with her.  We also have a big old doofus rescue who we also worked very hard with to integrate into a household with kids, cats and other dogs. Stereotyping any family situation because some people do it badly just means families buy dogs from less than stellar places or inappropriate dogs.  So very sad to read this.  Of course you can do what you like FiveAus - but it has really saddned me to read this.

#43 boatiebabe

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:56 AM

Puppies and small children are hard work. Been there and done that and regretted it. The poor puppy I got when DD was 2 and I was pregnant really got the short end of the stick.

It worked out in the end but my sanity was really really stretched. That pup taught me a lot about how to be a good dog mum. My subsequent dogs have really benefitted.

I think large dog puppies and children under about 5 don't mix. When getting a new pup, it's as much about training the children as the puppy.

You would not be the first person either to be overwhelmed by the responsibility and work you have to put into a new puppy.

You could certainly make some changes around your house to ensure the pup and child are separated.

Crate training is a must. When my last pup first came home we had a crate and a pen attached to it set up in the main living area of the house. If the pup became unruly or no one was able to directly supervise him for a period of time he was put in his pen. He could still see us and be near us, but he (and the kids) were safe and he had the opportunity to calm down if he was going a bit nuts.

I also spent A LOT of time teaching the kids to be calm which in turn would encourage calmness in the pup. He knew that being good and calm was a good thing.

AT the end of the day, if you feel you have to give up your pup, then so be it. It's better to find him a good home now than he keeps getting shunned outside away from the family. That will make for a very sad life.

It's good that you have recognised early that it's not going to work. If your breeder won't take him back, please contact a good breed rescue organisation who will find your pup the best home.

#44 Hands Up

Posted 09 April 2019 - 07:59 AM

If you are going to give it another week you need a plan. Crate training, and also training your kid. Poor puppy deserves better.

#45 Mae55

Posted 09 April 2019 - 08:09 AM

We got a lab puppy when we had a two year old and four year old. We’d had a lab before so knew what we were getting into but the combination off small children and a puppy was hard work. The best thing I did was start crate training. You’ve got to be prepared to really put in hard work though or you’ll have an untrained dog (and untrained child) and your child will be at risk.

#46 born.a.girl

Posted 09 April 2019 - 08:29 AM

 Appleaday, on 08 April 2019 - 09:56 PM, said:

Unfortunately the breeder has stated in his paperwork no returns.


Hmmm.    I think some of the dog breeders here would be interested to hear of a reputable breeder who won't take the dog back.

Their reputation partly depends on the dogs working out for the owners.


How did you find the breeder?  How long did you have to wait for the dog?

#47 born.a.girl

Posted 09 April 2019 - 08:41 AM

 Sentient Puddle, on 09 April 2019 - 07:48 AM, said:

I find that incredibly sad and disheartening - my "pup" is now 8 years old and best friends with my two teens - they took her to obedience and she is the most loyal, well behaved and loving dog as are the kids with her as they grew up with her.  We also have a big old doofus rescue who we also worked very hard with to integrate into a household with kids, cats and other dogs. Stereotyping any family situation because some people do it badly just means families buy dogs from less than stellar places or inappropriate dogs.  So very sad to read this.  Of course you can do what you like FiveAus - but it has really saddned me to read this.


I don't think Five Aus is stereotyping them at all, she's just saying the likelihood is much higher with small children, that they won't be suitable as owners, and as a 'business person' she's entitled to take the line of least resistance and go with the most likely successful outcome for her dogs.

She's not a social service.

#48 casime

Posted 09 April 2019 - 08:56 AM

Quote

I would rather not place a puppy in those situations, and I don't have to because I have dozens of other suitable homes to choose from. And I"m getting to the point where it will be a blanket "No" for any families with small children.


I have a policy that the youngest child, or the youngest dog already in the house must be at least three years old.  And if mum is not on the floor rough and tumbling with the dogs, then they don't get one (I'm looking you, woman who showed up to meet the dogs at the park after two weeks of rain, in white slacks, and freaked out anytime the dogs got near her white pants).

#49 Sentient Puddle

Posted 09 April 2019 - 08:58 AM

 born.a.girl, on 09 April 2019 - 08:41 AM, said:

I don't think Five Aus is stereotyping them at all, she's just saying the likelihood is much higher with small children, that they won't be suitable as owners, and as a 'business person' she's entitled to take the line of least resistance and go with the most likely successful outcome for her dogs.

She's not a social service.

And I never implied she was - I was just stating how sad it made me feel and of course the knock on effect is if people cant source dogs from reputable sources then they may very well look elsewhere.  And I was just stating that the breeder went the extra mile with us and did a good deal of homework and just didn't do box ticking of "no kids" and we were very grateful.

#50 Mollycoddle

Posted 09 April 2019 - 09:04 AM

I think it actually IS a breed thing, golden retrievers are a much larger dog than others and the fact that they are means they can jump up and do more damage.  I had chewing and biting etc with my Maltese but nothing like the hassle you would get with a larger dog.  But then retrievers and labs are pretty well-known for being boisterous as pups though obviously the OP didn't know this or didn't actually realise how it would be.




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