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What information do you really need if attending a wedding?


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#1 Jelly Bee

Posted 22 April 2019 - 11:03 AM

Hello, me again.

I'm working on our (very simple) wedding website right now. We are doing this at the request of family who will be travelling to us, and also as it is convenient in that everyone can RSVP there. We've had friends do this in the past and it was really helpful

Wondering, did anyone here have a website, and what was really helpful to include?

If you have been a guest to a wedding, what information would you like to see there?

So far we have:

An event page with info on the wedding itself - when, where,likely weather, dress code, children (invited to ceremony but reception not suitable for children)

An RSVP page which will send us the info in a spreadsheet. It asks about dietary requirements, whether the guest needs help with transport to and from the wedding, whether they would be interested in a group child-minding option (movie night or similar for all kids during reception), and if they would like to come to a pre-wedding dinner the night before.

Accommodation, transport and things to do for visiting guests. This includes recommendations for taxi companies and local babysitter etc

A message board


Is there anything else that would be useful for people to know? I don't have kids so especially grateful for any tips there.

#2 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 22 April 2019 - 11:41 AM

I had an interstate wedding (bride from one state groom from another - one group had to travel).

We organised a discounted rate at preferred hotel near the church, then organised a bus from church to reception venue and later on back to the hotel. Our guests appreciated this.

For an international 40th, preferred hotel was organised, group babysitting organised for the party night, but best of all (for those of us with young kids) there were recovery babysitting the next morning.... drop kids off in creche room to watch a movie while the parents recovered.



#3 Hands Up

Posted 22 April 2019 - 11:51 AM

How to get from ceremony to reception if different venues, and specify the time gap.

#4 Jelly Bee

Posted 22 April 2019 - 12:33 PM

View PostHands Up, on 22 April 2019 - 11:51 AM, said:

How to get from ceremony to reception if different venues, and specify the time gap.

Thanks - same venue fortunately but we are asking if guests need help with transport with a view to providing a bus if enough want it.

The bus is pricey - around $1200 - which is about double what the price of taxis would be - so we want to be sure it would be used.

#5 Mose

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:12 PM

View PostJelly Bee, on 22 April 2019 - 12:33 PM, said:



Thanks - same venue fortunately but we are asking if guests need help with transport with a view to providing a bus if enough want it.

The bus is pricey - around $1200 - which is about double what the price of taxis would be - so we want to be sure it would be used.

Is there a way of providing taxi vouchers or booked cars instead?

A bus is inflexible, as some like to party long at weddings, and others to disappear quietly after cake is cut. So you are unlikely to ever get anywhere near 100% take up.

Given that cost dynamic, if you want to cover the transport cost I would be doing more research as to whether more cost effective and flexible options are available in a way that still means you can pick up the tab for your guests.

#6 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:16 PM

Be careful of offering too much help, it’s very nice, but you could be making stress for yourself on the day, when you will obviously have yourself to worry about.  People can make their own transport and babysitting arrangements when they are required to.

Keep it simple, time, place, RSVP, dietary requirements, and maybe a general “contact Aunty Jan if you would like a seat on the bus departing from City at 3pm” (and get Aunty jan to worry about the bus ;)

#7 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:19 PM

ETA: at my sisters wedding, she had a friend who could drive a mini bus, they hired a minibus and he went back and forth to the winery a few times after the event to drop people home or at the train station, (maybe a 15km radius he was doing) it was pretty cheap that way, the bus fitted 12 people I think, maybe more, and he was obviously happy to stay sober and do the drives. He was a great guy.

#8 Jelly Bee

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:23 PM

View PostMose, on 22 April 2019 - 01:12 PM, said:



A bus is inflexible, as some like to party long at weddings, and others to disappear quietly after cake is cut. So you are unlikely to ever get anywhere near 100% take up.


That's a really good point. We were trying to be considerate of our out of town guests - we live in an area where taxi's aren't plentiful (think lots of country wineries) and people won't be able to just call a cab when they want to leave and have one there in 5 minutes.

Perhaps a better option would be to put the details of all the local cab firms on the website and tell guests it is essential that they pre book.

#9 Jelly Bee

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:26 PM

View Post~LemonMyrtle~, on 22 April 2019 - 01:19 PM, said:

ETA: at my sisters wedding, she had a friend who could drive a mini bus, they hired a minibus and he went back and forth to the winery a few times after the event to drop people home or at the train station, (maybe a 15km radius he was doing) it was pretty cheap that way, the bus fitted 12 people I think, maybe more, and he was obviously happy to stay sober and do the drives. He was a great guy.

Brilliant idea, I went to a friends wedding where the best man did this too.

The problem is that a good friend would have to leave all the time and I wouldn't want to ask anyone to do that. You can't really ask a friend not attending either as it's a bit rough to not invite someone then ask them to drive the other guests!

Perhaps a friend of friend, or airtasker?

#10 Mose

Posted 22 April 2019 - 01:56 PM

View PostJelly Bee, on 22 April 2019 - 01:26 PM, said:

Brilliant idea, I went to a friends wedding where the best man did this too.

The problem is that a good friend would have to leave all the time and I wouldn't want to ask anyone to do that. You can't really ask a friend not attending either as it's a bit rough to not invite someone then ask them to drive the other guests!

Perhaps a friend of friend, or airtasker?

Or see if a local car/chauffeur company will do the night and just organise for a car or van every 1o minutes after the anticipated cutting of the cake, and agree a fixed fee for the evening.  Some drivers might have to wait a little, some guests may have to wait a little, but ultimately everyone will get away close enough to when they want to go?

#11 just roses

Posted 22 April 2019 - 02:01 PM

As PP said, be careful about offering too much as it might get difficult to organise it all. As for babysitting, if you wanted to offer an on-site option, that would be lovely. But don't ask 'what would you like?' because people will all have different ideas and it won't suit everyone. An easier option might be to recommend some local babysitters (ask friends if you don't know) and provide their names and numbers, but leave it up to your friends to organise. I wouldn't organise a kids movie night with a babysitter if it was offsite as it could be too difficult with venue/numbers/child to carer ratio etc. On-site would be easier as parents could still be responsible for kids (albeit by popping in and out).

#12 lazycritter

Posted 22 April 2019 - 02:32 PM

Maybe tips like, not sitting through the ceremony glued to your phone or holding your phone in front of your face during the ceremony. You as a bride and groom would rather look out and see the family and friends faces smiling at you not a sea of smart phones.

#13 lazycritter

Posted 22 April 2019 - 02:34 PM

If you're having a group photo and family photos ask them not to wander away straight after the ceremony

#14 Bearynice

Posted 22 April 2019 - 02:43 PM

Will there be a gathering the next day? If so put those details on there

I think I’d just put info about transport  with phone numbers but not book a bus etc. people can organise their own transport ( less headache for you)

#15 gettin my fance on

Posted 22 April 2019 - 03:18 PM

If there is going to be a delay (other than a short delay) between the ceremony and reception, have somewhere that the guests can access some refreshments and seating.  

I remember one particular wedding when guest were required to amuse themselves for almost 2 hours at a remote-ish venue and there was nowhere to sit other than the reception room which we were denied access to and there wasn't so much as a cool glass of water to be had.

#16 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 22 April 2019 - 05:31 PM

A map of the area with a few important landmarks marked on it, like nearest convenience store, doctor etc. Sometimes Google maps has not enough or too much info on them. Older family members might prefer to have a copy to print out.

#17 Jelly Bee

Posted 22 April 2019 - 05:32 PM

View PostWTFancie shmancie, on 22 April 2019 - 03:18 PM, said:

If there is going to be a delay (other than a short delay) between the ceremony and reception, have somewhere that the guests can access some refreshments and seating.  

I remember one particular wedding when guest were required to amuse themselves for almost 2 hours at a remote-ish venue and there was nowhere to sit other than the reception room which we were denied access to and there wasn't so much as a cool glass of water to be had.

This is a good point, that's happened to me as a guest too.

Our venue does canapes and sparkling on the lawns while we go off for photos among the vines.  After your comment I'll make sure they have some seating out there (they usually have outdoor benches so I'm sure they will).
Gusts will have an ocean view over the vineyard so I'm hoping are happy there for 90 minutes or so chatting and admiring the view. The venue also provides lawn games like bocce and giant jenga.

I thought it would be thoughtful to provide babysitting but I hadn't thought about any risk of it being off site (also where?!).   I will update to include some babysitter recommendations instead. I'm sure groups of friends might organise this for themselves anyway.  Thank you!

Love the idea of one driver on retainer. I have the number of a really nice taxi driver, I might ask if he'd be willing to do it.




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