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Pool party - what do you think?


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#26 Hands Up

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:07 PM

I would stay for a pool party. Two adults for 15 children is not adequate supervision. I’d also make it clear I was there to watch out for my kid only, and that I wouldn’t be responsible for other children. At that age a kid can take a knock to the head or get pushed under so easily.....

#27 EsmeLennox

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:36 PM

It is if they hold a qualification. As a guide, in a closed-water environment , education departments require 1 qualified supervisor for every 30(ish) students. In some instances, and additional assistant supervisor (either qualified or unqualified) is required.

My concern would rest with how much supervision the adults were actually doing amongst all the other party crap that goes on.

I’d just go and monitor my child, and God knows if I observed another child in trouble, I’d help them too.

#28 ~J_F~

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:38 PM

Surely you don’t just stand by if you saw a kid in trouble that wasn’t your own?

Is that what PP mean when they say they are only taking responsibility for their own kid?

#29 EsmeLennox

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:40 PM

^ that’s kind of how I read it.

#30 Hands Up

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:41 PM

View Post~J_WTF~, on 25 April 2019 - 03:38 PM, said:

Surely you don’t just stand by if you saw a kid in trouble that wasn’t your own?

Is that what PP mean when they say they are only taking responsibility for their own kid?

Yeah, I’d let them drown *eyeroll*

I wouldn’t however find myself roped in to supervise a large group of kids because the host wanted to socialise or prep food. Why? Because I’m not a trained life guard and wouldn’t feel comfortable being responsible for that many kids in the water. It’s not safe.

#31 EsmeLennox

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:48 PM

Wouldn’t several parents supervising, thus reducing the adult:child ratio increase safety? Qualified or not. We’re talking a backyard pool here, not open water.

#32 Hands Up

Posted 25 April 2019 - 03:51 PM

View PostEsmeLennox, on 25 April 2019 - 03:48 PM, said:

Wouldn’t several parents supervising, thus reducing the adult:child ratio increase safety? Qualified or not. We’re talking a backyard pool here, not open water.

Yes possibly if they are actually supervising rather than chatting, but can you rely on people sticking around as well as actively supervising your child? I’d prefer to do it myself but water safety is definitely a thing for me as my sister almost drowned in a backyard pool.

#33 ~J_F~

Posted 25 April 2019 - 04:02 PM

View PostHands Up, on 25 April 2019 - 03:41 PM, said:

Yeah, I’d let them drown *eyeroll*

I wouldn’t however find myself roped in to supervise a large group of kids because the host wanted to socialise or prep food. Why? Because I’m not a trained life guard and wouldn’t feel comfortable being responsible for that many kids in the water. It’s not safe.

Sorry for asking for clarification.

I actually know a couple of people who have said I am not supervising any other kids who have stood by and watched other kids end up in real trouble then when confronted they say I told you I wasnt being responsible for other kids.

So its not a given someone will step in and help when a kid is in trouble.

#34 EmmDasher

Posted 25 April 2019 - 04:04 PM

How much swimming is there even likely to be? In our area it hasn’t exactly been ideal weather recently for a pool party. If it was more likely to be a pool side party with a quick dip then I’d be fine with that level of supervision (I doubt all 15 will even come if notice has been given that late). I’d just play it by ear. You don’t have to make a call about staying or leaving until you’re there.

Edited by EmmDasher, 25 April 2019 - 04:05 PM.


#35 EsmeLennox

Posted 25 April 2019 - 04:04 PM

Well I’m saying I’d be there for a child at 7 and I’d willingly take on supervision of other children, too, not just my own. I’ve never said otherwise.

That said, two adults *actively* supervising the pool should be plenty, but at 7, I’d stay.





#36 Elizabethandfriend

Posted 25 April 2019 - 04:09 PM

My DS went to an 8 year old pool party run at a local pool and still at least half of the parents stayed.  Usually its drop and go now, but pool parties and trampoline parties are the exception....

#37 *Melstar*

Posted 25 April 2019 - 09:56 PM

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving. For me, it's not about being a strong swimmer (and my kid is one). It's about the fact that kids are kids and they can't foresee that mucking around in pools / around pools is dangerous.

But I often feel alone in this. I am the only one who stays sometimes. And if others do stay, I am often the only one near the pool, actively supervising.

I'm okay with it. DH thinks the same as me. The kids don't - but as we say, you have to learn that our rules apply for our kids and sometimes these rules will be different for other families. That's just how it is.

We have the same conversation about car seats. "X" doesn't have to sit in a seat anymore. Soz sweetheart, you do. And nope, you won't be getting a phone right now. And we wear clothes with sleeves because #sunsafety and no we don't wear hats that don't cover our face, ears, neck for the same reason.

Man, we sound like total buzz kills don't we! 😂

I think it's about holding firm on the non negotiables for your family, calmly explaining to your child why (if they question you) and continuing to follow through. Because then it becomes "just what we do in our family."

Do what makes you feel comfortable!

#38 Cheesy Sanga

Posted 25 April 2019 - 09:58 PM

I'd 100% stay and I wouldn't care if there were no other parents staying or if anyone thought I was weird. The safety of my child is more important than what someone else thinks of me. My 7yo is not a strong swimmer but it's not really about swimming ability anyways. It just takes one breath held too long, or one ball thrown in the wrong direction, or one slip on the edge of the pool. The party host goes in to get a drink but then spills it so is inside for 5 minutes out of sight of the pool. Nope. Not worth it. I'd either decline the party invite or go and stay at the party. The only way I'd be comfortable to leave is like the scenario mentioned above where there was at least one person who was 100% on pool supervision and wasn't trying to also host or socialise as well.

#39 Ellie bean

Posted 25 April 2019 - 10:06 PM

I’d stay. Dd (6) would find it embarrassing, her choices would be, be embarrassed or don’t go.

#40 Prancer is coming

Posted 25 April 2019 - 10:15 PM

I would stay.  It sounds like you want to and I don’t quite get why that would be embarrassing?  You want to supervise your kid to ensure safety, who cares if you are the only one or what others think.  I have kids with dietary needs and I felt the need to stay for the entire party for their safety.  I think the host appreciated it to some degree, I am sure they would not have been keen if I handed over an epipen and left them to it!  I have explained why I am staying and sometimes I help, sometimes chat or other times just stay out of the way - depends on the vibe.

My kid went to a pool party around aged 6-7 and one of the parents jumped in fully clothed to help her kid despite a life guard being present.  At another party, I think turning 8, the host insisted all parents stay, which got lots of parents offside.  And the funny thing was, guess which kid needed rescuing and whose parent was not closely supervising?



#41 Navy Blue

Posted 25 April 2019 - 10:25 PM

Yes I would definitely stay, I'm paranoid around water plus my kids aren't strong swimmers.

A couple of years ago I stayed at a 12yo party my DS attended, was the only one. All was fine and I hung back til a family member of the bday boy dropped off their child and their 3yo sibling. Host parents were off in another area cooking etc, so then it fell to me to supervise all the kids. The 3yo needed a LOT of assistance. I could not fathom the 'she'll be right attitude' of any of the adults.

#42 JomoMum

Posted 26 April 2019 - 06:29 AM

If that was us hosting that party, I would be INSISTING that there be a parent each to stay.

Our DS is 5.5 and only just started swimming lessons. No way at even 7 would I think he’d be competent enough to be basically left with no supervision while the parents run around alerting food and games.

In fact, I’d be inclined to decline the invitation. As pp mentioned, if you were the only parent there, you would likely be designated supervisor.




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