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TT question.


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#1 Caribou

Posted 27 April 2019 - 07:39 AM

DS is 2. He can hold his wee for 1.5-2 hours and lets me know he’s done a wee or poo. We tried TT over the long weekend but after 6 days I stopped. Reason being is he couldn’t seem to get to toilet on time. Like the potty was always in arms reach but he’d already be going when he declares he needs toilet.

He wasn’t upset with his accidents and seemed to be trying, just not getting the put the wee in potty not underpants. I was going to try again in June holidays, is there anything I can do to help him make that link wee needs to go in potty, not floor? I’m having trouble finding the right way to explain to him what his signal is. I notice it when he shifts uncomfortably, but he hasn’t noticed. Only noticed hes wee’d even in nappies he informs me.

He seems so close!
Any tips?

Edited by Caribou, 27 April 2019 - 07:40 AM.


#2 laridae

Posted 27 April 2019 - 07:49 AM

I'd wait until he knows that wee is coming, not just announcing after it's done.

#3 tinselfoil hat

Posted 27 April 2019 - 08:20 AM

IMO he’s not ready. If you wait a little longer, chances are it’ll be a piece of cake. 6 days to not get it is a long time.

#4 BrainFart

Posted 27 April 2019 - 08:21 AM

This may not be helpful but perhaps some early morning amusement .. my son calls his wee coming ‘fleas in his tummy’ - no idea why but must of been the association he made for sensing the urge.. he also says similar for poos !!

#5 laridae

Posted 27 April 2019 - 08:48 AM

View Postalfoil hat, on 27 April 2019 - 08:20 AM, said:

IMO he’s not ready. If you wait a little longer, chances are it’ll be a piece of cake. 6 days to not get it is a long time.
Lol. Over a year to get it is a long time. 6 days not that long. My DD2 took over a year, but she refused to wear a nappy so we persisted. She was also 3.5, so not as easy as just insisting. 4.5 when she finally got it reliably.

Edited by laridae, 27 April 2019 - 08:52 AM.


#6 Caribou

Posted 27 April 2019 - 08:57 AM

I do feel DS is close. He does fight nappies and my chest cringes at the idea of being kicked.

To PPs I already paused TT. What I’m after is tips on how to educate him on recognising bodily functions. If he can hold for a few hours then we can’t be too far off. He’s even dry overnights. We just need him to understand what his body is telling him before does a wee.

6 days really isn’t long.

#7 Luci

Posted 27 April 2019 - 09:09 AM

I agree that he is defintely close.

I tried TT my oldest DD when she was 2 & 5 months with similar results to what is happening with your DS. I remember thinking to myself that if I persisted for a few weeks she would definitely get the hang of it but I was about 8 months pregnant with DS so I decided so give it a break for a while. Tried again about 3 months later and she was completely toilet trained in a few days.

My suggestions would be either give it a break and try again in a couple of months or take your DS to the pot on a regular basis to see if that helps him get the hang of it. So every 2 it is time to go to the toilet.

#8 AdelTwins

Posted 27 April 2019 - 09:17 AM

If he’s dry overnight, put him straight on the potty and wait.

ETA - First thing in the morning. The rest of the day try pull ups.

Edited by AdelTwins, 27 April 2019 - 09:18 AM.


#9 SeaPrincess

Posted 27 April 2019 - 09:43 AM

Each of my children was different, but we had a potty in the bathroom, and from quite young, it was part of the nightly bath time routine. It might be worth working it into the morning or evening routine just so it’s not completely forgotten, but it will also help you see when he seems a bit more ready.

DS1 worked out what the potty was for and did a wee in it every night at bath time for a week so we started having some nappy-free time most days. It was another month before he actually asked for the potty, and from the first time he asked, he never wore a nappy at home again. DD was similar, and for her it was about 3 weeks before she asked for the potty. DS2 just suddenly asked for the potty out of the blue, and after never having done anything it in, he wanted it to poo.

I also found in the early days, I had to remind them or check in if it had been what I thought was too long, and they were all able to go longer between wees in the morning than in the afternoon.

#10 Caribou

Posted 27 April 2019 - 10:25 AM

View PostSeaPrincess, on 27 April 2019 - 09:43 AM, said:

Each of my children was different, but we had a potty in the bathroom, and from quite young, it was part of the nightly bath time routine. It might be worth working it into the morning or evening routine just so it’s not completely forgotten, but it will also help you see when he seems a bit more ready.

DS1 worked out what the potty was for and did a wee in it every night at bath time for a week so we started having some nappy-free time most days. It was another month before he actually asked for the potty, and from the first time he asked, he never wore a nappy at home again. DD was similar, and for her it was about 3 weeks before she asked for the potty. DS2 just suddenly asked for the potty out of the blue, and after never having done anything it in, he wanted it to poo.

I also found in the early days, I had to remind them or check in if it had been what I thought was too long, and they were all able to go longer between wees in the morning than in the afternoon.

Yes, we have the potty in bathroom since he was 18 months. I wanted him to get used to the idea. We’ve slowly introduced it even read kids toilet books.

At the moment he says ‘to the potty!’ When he wees, and even though the wee is already done in nappy, we go to bathroom and sit on potty, praise him for telling us, flush loo, wash hands etc. I wanted to normalise it much as possible. Hopefully by June holidays he’ll click and realise to hold his wee and not go in nappy.

#11 Luci

Posted 27 April 2019 - 11:17 AM

I just read your update and saw that he is usually still wearing a nappy. With my 3 I found that trying to toilet train them while they were in a nappy didn't work. If they had a nappy on they would just do it in the nappy.

I wasn't feeling very brave about it at the time but I put them into undies and reminded them constantly that they were not wearing a nappy, they were wearing undies, and had to go to the pot if they needed a wee or poo.

#12 Caribou

Posted 27 April 2019 - 11:21 AM

View PostLuci, on 27 April 2019 - 11:17 AM, said:

I just read your update and saw that he is usually still wearing a nappy. With my 3 I found that trying to toilet train them while they were in a nappy didn't work. If they had a nappy on they would just do it in the nappy.

I wasn't feeling very brave about it at the time but I put them into undies and reminded them constantly that they were not wearing a nappy, they were wearing undies, and had to go to the pot if they needed a wee or poo.

I should have clarified sorry, from day 1 - 6 of toilet training we had zero nappies, apart from nap and bed times. he'd pee right through the undies and let us know.

I only put him back in nappies as it didn't seem to be any better. well, it was better than back on day 1, he caught on really quick but stalled, its getting him to go from 'oh I need the loo, hold it in and put it in the potty, don't wee on floor' transition we haven't gotten right yet.

#13 SplashingRainbows

Posted 27 April 2019 - 12:08 PM

I toilet trained my boy nude.

#14 Contrebasse

Posted 28 April 2019 - 12:01 AM

View PostSplashingRainbows, on 27 April 2019 - 12:08 PM, said:

I toilet trained my boy nude.

I am picturing you running around nude cleaning up wee puddles...

#15 blimkybill

Posted 28 April 2019 - 03:43 AM

How about taking him regularly through the day, every hour or so, until he starts to get it. Many kids need that step rather than going straight to taking themselves as needed.

#16 Caribou

Posted 28 April 2019 - 06:17 AM

View Postblimkybill, on 28 April 2019 - 03:43 AM, said:

How about taking him regularly through the day, every hour or so, until he starts to get it. Many kids need that step rather than going straight to taking themselves as needed.

Even though we’re back in nappies he’s telling me he has to go to potty. We do go to bathroom where potty is sit there and he does nothing. I know he’s already peed in his nappy. I still take him anyway bc I wanted him to learn new routine and get used to idea.

I’ve been suggesting he let me know when his penis feels ‘full’ rather than bladder to try get him to recognise his urge to pee. I’ll have to correct terminology later.

#17 SplashingRainbows

Posted 28 April 2019 - 06:56 AM

Haha not quite.

He was nude outside on the grass. Pretty easy to see the penis get more erect and see what actually happens when you wee. Honestly say or two tops of outside nudie play and he ‘got it’.

#18 EmmDasher

Posted 28 April 2019 - 08:09 AM

When my eldest toilet trained just before two, we let her get about completely nude and kept a potty in sight at all times. If she started weeing we’d say, “oh look you’re weeing, quick to the potty” and she’d stop and do the rest on the potty. It only took 2 or 3 days and she’d connected the sensation of fullness with weeing. I found it easier to read their cues and help them when they were nude aswell.

#19 Soontobegran

Posted 28 April 2019 - 08:23 AM

View PostCaribou, on 27 April 2019 - 08:57 AM, said:

I do feel DS is close. He does fight nappies and my chest cringes at the idea of being kicked.

To PPs I already paused TT. What I’m after is tips on how to educate him on recognising bodily functions. If he can hold for a few hours then we can’t be too far off. He’s even dry overnights. We just need him to understand what his body is telling him before does a wee.

6 days really isn’t long.

The ability to hold on doesn’t signal imminent TT I am afraid.
Same as knowing you’ve done it after the fact.

I am not a great believer that you can ‘help’ TT as it is a physiological process rather than an intellectual one.
If the nerves supplying the area are not yet mature they just are not and if there is not enough hormone being secreted there just isn’t.

We can help by providing a toilet, and teaching them how to remove clothes but IMO that’s it and NT children will TT even if we do nothing.
I learnt this the hard way, I put so much pressure on #1 it was awful so the next 4 completely TT’d themselves..... some did it sooner than the one we interfered with.

I don’t think we can put a starting time on TT, there is an enormous difference between children and if well meaning friends and relatives would butt out and stop telling us we are not trying hard enough the entire process would pass so smoothly.

Good luck but he is very young (not many 2 year olds have the necessary physiological maturity) so I think let it go for now.

#20 Mose

Posted 28 April 2019 - 09:05 AM

View PostAdelTwins, on 27 April 2019 - 09:17 AM, said:

If he’s dry overnight, put him straight on the potty and wait.

ETA - First thing in the morning. The rest of the day try pull ups.

As with all things TT, this might work, but it might not.

DD has been dry over night for ages. Does nothing on the toilet when put there, and wait as long as she will tolerate, and then once we go down for breakfast will soak her nappy and ask for a new one.

Clearly she isn't ready, despite being dry over night.

#21 Apageintime

Posted 28 April 2019 - 01:34 PM

I agree with STBG. My son could hold for ages and way dry overnight at that age too.

He didn't ask for undies though until he was over 3 years old. Then he was super ready and only had 1 accident those first 2 weeks. It was a breeze once he decided he was ready.

Daycare had been taking him to the toilet and getting him to sit there when they took the kids in groups. But otherwise that was the only preparation he had

#22 Mothers Groupie

Posted 28 April 2019 - 01:47 PM

Hmmm we’ve has success with “toilet timing” rather than toilet training to start the TT journey. That is putting DDs on the toilet every 90 minutes to 2 hours at the start of their TT journey. First they work out what muscles are needed to do a wee, then they associate the feelings of a full bladder with doing a wee. Worked for us, but we are only n=2. Also both girls were poo trained before wee trained so went against the norm a little in that respect. Made it a bit easier really.




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