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Time to convince - Dad 42, Mum 33

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#1 Talya24

Posted 10 May 2019 - 08:58 AM

Hi Everyone,

My husband and I are going to start TTC our first in October, we just have a few financial hurdles to work through until then. I am just wonder if anyone with similar ages / age gap has gotten pregnant or is still TTC and can tell me how long it has taken. I have read horror stories online that I should expect it to take 2 years due to dads older age. And apparently when there is a big age gap it takes longer for some reason too.

I will also post in older mothers to be section, I am not sure if this is the best place to post.

Any help, tips or personal stories would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much ladies

Edited by Talya24, 10 May 2019 - 08:59 AM.

#2 Peebs

Posted 10 May 2019 - 09:42 AM

Hi Tayla, I think as with everything in TTC it really does depends on the couple involved and their particular situation.

I'm 36 and DH is 38 and we have been trying for 17 cycles with no luck.  We are older but closer in age.

My Brother is about 9 years older than my sister in law and I'm pretty sure they had their first baby when SIL was 29 (so he was 38).  Second baby when he was 40.  They have gotten pregnant first time each time they tried.

Not sure if this helps at all x

#3 bubba boo

Posted 10 May 2019 - 09:44 AM

We have a similar gap and it hasn't taken any longer to conceive any of our kids. Age of dh has not had an impact eithier.  Everyones situation will be different, however in my experience these issues have not had any impact on our fertility.

#4 Mooples

Posted 10 May 2019 - 09:44 AM

I have a girlfriend with a bigger gap than you, she was younger than you when starting ttc and he was older than your husband. First baby took over 12 months, second baby first month so even within a couple it can vary.

#5 just roses

Posted 10 May 2019 - 09:55 AM

My experience leads me to say try sooner rather than later. DH and I were 26 (me) and 28 (him) when we started TTC. Neither of us have any health problems and tests never showed anything wrong. Still, it took 3 years and IUI to have our first. But then you hear of plenty of other people having no trouble at all. You just really don’t know until you start.

#6 Talya24

Posted 10 May 2019 - 10:29 AM

Thanks so much ladies for your stories. I think you've all hit the nail on the head, until you try, you just don't know.

We have talked about starting now and just seeing what happens, but if by some miracle I fall right away it will be during a crazy stressful time, so I think for the sake of only 5 months we might just wait i think.

I'll also use these 5 months to eat well, look after myself and hopefully give myself the best chances.

#7 just roses

Posted 10 May 2019 - 12:06 PM

Good time to get a check up at the GP, check your immunisation status and get any boosters needed, start taking folic acid too.

#8 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 10 May 2019 - 12:14 PM

DH is 10 years older than me, and we had our two when I was 33 and 34.  

First time was on the second month of 'trying', (We weren't even trying, but I had stopped the pill)  and second time was when DD was only 8 months old, and we hadn't even started trying!  

(DH was very proud of himself, like I had nothing to do with it!!!)

You really can't tell until you start.  Good luck!

#9 Talya24

Posted 10 May 2019 - 03:57 PM

Thanks so much ladies! I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised and fall easily too.

Great idea just roses, I'll book in to my GP and get everything I need to get done, sorted out.

Edited by Talya24, 10 May 2019 - 03:59 PM.

#10 BECZ

Posted 10 May 2019 - 04:26 PM

View PostRuf~Feral~es, on 10 May 2019 - 12:14 PM, said:

(DH was very proud of himself, like I had nothing to do with it!!!)


#11 VigilantePaladin

Posted 10 May 2019 - 04:40 PM

I was 26 and DH was 55 when we were TTC. It took five months to get pregnant with DD. I then got pregnant again when DD was 13 months old with DS.

With DD is was an active TTC ie taking temps etc. With DS it was just no contraception, a spa and a bottle of red wine in the Hunter Valley lol

#12 Kabu84

Posted 10 May 2019 - 04:51 PM

I was 29 and DH 37 when we started TTC our first. It took 2 years. We had all sorts of tests done and DH’s sperm had DNA fragmentation, which can happen with men as they get older. We were told we would probably need IVF however ‘you could try taking some vitamins for 3 months to see if it helps DH sperm quality. DH ate healthy and took vitamins for 3 months. He was then tested again- no sperm fragmentation! So we tried again naturally and I was pregnant within the month! So the moral of the story is that Men need to take care of their health prior to conception as well.

#13 3babygirls

Posted 10 May 2019 - 04:53 PM

My best friend and her hubby were pretty much the exact same ages as you and your hubby. It took them 2.5 years to have their son but it was expected as she had a history of issues with periods and other things etc.

A whole heap of my mums group was 36+ and hardly any of them seemed to have any issues with falling pregnant. The one woman that needed extra help was late 20s, a professional athlete and her husband was also early 30s, fit, healthy etc. its really hard to pick who will have issues!

#14 froglett

Posted 10 May 2019 - 06:19 PM

I was 29 when I had my first (DH 41), pregnant second cycle (first cycle weren’t really trying, just not preventing).

Second I was 32, pregnant on second/third cycle (can’t remember it was quick though) cycle.

#15 Cheesy Sanga

Posted 10 May 2019 - 09:39 PM

We were similar ages when we started TTC. Took about 6mo to conceive #1 but that was not really seriously trying. When #1 was about 18mo we started TTC again. Conceived first go but unfortunately had an early miscarriage. Waited 1mo then tried again and conceived first time again. This pregnancy was fortunately successful.

TBH I'd consider starting earlier. There's never a perfect time to have a bub. There'll always be issues with money etc.

If you do decide to wait, both you AND hubby should get health check ups and take whatever vitamins are recommended these days, etc. It's not just your health, it's his health as well.

#16 Jingleflea

Posted 10 May 2019 - 10:01 PM

It takes ON AVERAGE the average healthy couple under 30, 12 months to conceive.
That's normal.

#17 rileys-mum

Posted 10 May 2019 - 10:23 PM

IMO don’t waste 5 mths.
You until you are 70 to earn money........

#18 Talya24

Posted 11 May 2019 - 09:43 AM

Thanks so much to everyone with their stories. I am so overwhelmed with everyone's helpful advice. Both hubby and I are overweight and a lot of room to clean up our eating, I think I need to book us both in to the GP for a long consult to see what we should do.

Thanks for the comments about the money, you are definitely right, never a perfect time. But to be honest, I'm actually now more concerned about cleaning up our lifestyle than money. Lots to talk about with DH and our GP. I'm so relieved to hear most of your stories where the ladies fell within normal expected times.

#19 Jingleflea

Posted 11 May 2019 - 10:53 AM

I was 35 when I had DD.
I started TTC at 30.
3 years of AC, fertility treatments and IVF.

#20 Feral-as-Meggs

Posted 11 May 2019 - 11:02 AM

My friend 37 and husband 49 conceived in the first month off the pill, and their second while she was BF and on the mini pill.

#21 c4a79

Posted 11 May 2019 - 06:11 PM

I was 32 and my husband 42 when we had my first.  We fell pregnant first month of trying and I have PCOS.  With our second, I was 36 and husband 46, and it was second month.  

Everyone's circumstances are different so you'll never know what situation you will find yourself in.

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