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Trying again


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#1 Melmumto1

Posted 10 May 2019 - 02:23 PM

I've been having a hard time trying to decide whether i could go through pregnancy again.
i have one child and have had 2 miscarriages (one before him and one after) We always said we wanted 2 kids, but because of the horrible natural miscarriage i had after him its completely scared me off trying again. I just dont know if i could handle it again...especially with a toddler.
my husband wants to have another one and is disappointed that im second guessing it now.
I'll be 36 soon and already feel so tired with my son.
I know if i do become pregnant again ill be in fear of something going wrong...but also worry of living with regret if i dont.
What has helped you ladies decide whether or not to have more children or to overcome fear?

#2 Maree83

Posted 16 May 2019 - 07:29 PM

I heard a quote once...."when your desire to have another child is greater than your fear of the unknown, you are ready to take a chance"
This is the mantra I used after I lost my son. He is my first child, and I was so scared of falling pregnant again,  but I took the plunge and now have two more beautiful children.
I won't lie and say that I didn't have fears during my pregnancies,  but I  got through it with an awesome medical team,  and family to support me.
To be honest,  it is scary,  but no one is immune to loss and heartbreak,  I  was so healthy and did "everything right " in my first pregnancy,  I  couldn't understand how it could happen to me. But,  I  decided that I couldn't let fear define my life, and took a chance.
This is only my story, I would completely understand if you decided not to try again  (I contemplated it) so I  hope you don't think I am minimizing the situation.
What helped me was to talk to my trusted people, and I had a psychologist I talked to throughout my pregnancies. I had people there who would help me if something went wrong.
Best of luck with your decision. X.


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