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Stopping telephone harrasment


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#1 Jelly Bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 12:47 PM

Hi.

I have been receiving threatening and abusive phone calls from the same person for 8 years.

The calls are extremely violent and threatening.

I have reported to police 7 times, 6 times they have said they can’t help and told me to change my number, 1 time they did say I could take out some sort of order against the person if I had their address which I do not. I just know their name and number.  The last time I reported to police they made me feel small and stupid and said it's just part of life.

I reported to my phone carrier and I understand they sent a letter asking the person to stop. I also blocked the number.  Since then, the calls only come from a private number.

They come in waves over a few months then not again for a few months.   Sometimes I have up to 8 per day.  They are extremely ugly and threatening.

The house they believe I live in (I don’t, it’s rented) was broken into and trashed but nothing stolen. I believe it was them since the calls I had said they would do similar.

I have saved many of the calls but not all as one of the phones I had been saving them on got corrupted and lost some. I have made some calls logs.

I have given my phone number to my partner and got a new number myself. The messages still keep coming on my partners phone. “I know you’re there etc etc etc “

Is there anything at all I can do? I want to be free of this. It’s terrifying and I constantly think one day he will find me and hurt me. Just when I begin to relax they start up again. Eight years.

Any ideas?

#2 Riotproof

Posted 17 May 2019 - 12:55 PM

Can you simply block the number?

Sounds terrible.

#3 Luci

Posted 17 May 2019 - 12:56 PM

Could you get a new phone number and try to limit as much as possible who you give the number to?

#4 PrincessPeach

Posted 17 May 2019 - 12:57 PM

I'd be looking at contacting both the telecommunications ombudsman & the federal police.

#5 seayork2002

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:00 PM

Have you tried blocking the number?

#6 Jelly Bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:10 PM

 PrincessPeach, on 17 May 2019 - 12:57 PM, said:

I'd be looking at contacting both the telecommunications ombudsman & the federal police.

Thank you, I hadn't thought about the Ombudsman. I definitely have lots of documented evidence.



Thanks PPs asking if I can block the number - as I said in the post I did that long ago. Calls are now coming from a private number.

I have got a second phone and mostly use that but I don't want to leave this number behind completely because I've had it over 20 years and it is used by the odd old friend out of the blue from time to time. That's why I gave it to my partner.

I think it will need to be my next step though I am also scared that if the person can't call the number any more they might try to find me.   My work address is easily available online just by knowing my name. I'm pretty scared on day he will just turn up.

Edited by Jelly Bee, 17 May 2019 - 01:12 PM.


#7 cardamom

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:10 PM

Oh my gosh, OP, how frightening. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Have you tried contacting the e-safety commissioner for advice?

From my dealings with them they are incredibly proactive and able to get in and sort things out when police/schools/etc. haven't been able to help. They have a whole thing around technology-facilitated abuse. I'm sure I've heard them talk before about what they can do if someone is using a carrier service to menace or harass.

I hope you're able to get a resolution soon.

ETA - I've just re-checked and it seems they might be limited to social media/online stuff and image-based abuse, not verbal harassment. Apologies if I've sent you barking up the wrong tree.

Edited by cardamom, 17 May 2019 - 01:13 PM.


#8 CallMeFeral

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:19 PM

 Riotproof, on 17 May 2019 - 12:55 PM, said:

Can you simply block the number?

 seayork2002, on 17 May 2019 - 01:00 PM, said:

Have you tried blocking the number?

 Jelly Bee, on 17 May 2019 - 12:47 PM, said:

I also blocked the number.  Since then, the calls only come from a private number.

:huh:

#9 Riotproof

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:23 PM

Sorry OP, I missed that.


 CallMeFeral, on 17 May 2019 - 01:19 PM, said:





:huh:

Thanks CMF. Your graciousness in the face of an oversight is always noteworthy.

#10 seayork2002

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:26 PM

 CallMeFeral, on 17 May 2019 - 01:19 PM, said:

:huh:

I heard and I am not sure if it is true!!!! that if you contact the phone company they can block private numbers

#11 literally nobody

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:32 PM

I don’t answer ANY blocked numbers and I removed my message bank so no verbal messages can be left. Id try that.

#12 WTF*A*Lot

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:36 PM

 seayork2002, on 17 May 2019 - 01:26 PM, said:

I heard and I am not sure if it is true!!!! that if you contact the phone company they can block private numbers
There is a lot the phone companies claim they can’t do. Yet when asked or ordered by the right person/people, it gets done.


#13 Luci

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:42 PM

Is the phone account with Telstra? On their website there is some quite good information re how they can deal with nusiance calls, under the "unwanted calls" section.  Other telecommunications providers might have similar info on their websites as well.

A few years ago DH received a very strange anonymous call which he reported to our local police station. He wanted to get the call traced and was told by the police that they can only do it if the call is particularly threatening etc. But that in certain circumstances they can do it. Hard to believe OP that you would not qualify for that if you have been receiving these terrible calls for 8 years.

A couple of other ideas - it is possible to lodge a complaint against police. There is information on how to do this on their website.  You could also contact your local MP for assistance. A pp mentioned the telecommunications ombudsman which I think is worth looking into as well.

#14 chicken_bits

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:45 PM

This may be an ignorant question, but why not just completely change numbers rather than giving your DP your phone number?

#15 Sentient Puddle

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:48 PM

 chicken_bits, on 17 May 2019 - 01:45 PM, said:

This may be an ignorant question, but why not just completely change numbers rather than giving your DP your phone number?

I would absolutely do this as first port of call - a random old friend wanting to contact you is not really a compelling reason for keeping it.

Next I would be penning a letter/eamil to your local MP with that same letter being cced to the Police Minister, Telecommunications Minister etc as well as going to the Ombudsman.  It is revealing that as soon as you mention the Ombusdman how quickly some companies work.

#16 Jelly Bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 01:54 PM

 Sentient Puddle, on 17 May 2019 - 01:48 PM, said:

I would absolutely do this as first port of call - a random old friend wanting to contact you is not really a compelling reason for keeping it.


No, but equally being intimidated is not a reason to change your life to accommodate that intimidation is it?

Look I know the sense in changing my number completely, but I feel pretty strongly that there should be some action a victim can take that doesn't inconvenience THEM for someone else's bad behaviour.  
Anyway I agree it is the obvious next step, initially we just wanted to see if having a male voice on the voicemail would stop the messages being left. And it might have worked. But it didn't.

I do think that I need to escalate things with the police, I have tens of truly disgusting messages saved as voice recordings and to be told to go away repeatedly by the police is pretty poor

#17 seayork2002

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:00 PM

You cant give details about this person for the police to find them. I would love the police to be able to adequately fix every single thing that the public can possible ask them to but they only have so many resources.

Sure every time a person threatens another on the phone it would be great if the person could be stopped or locked up but sadly life is not like that.

If you both change your numbers then if you don't know who this person is then they would not be able to get the new numbers so it would stop - sure you should not have to but you want it to stop.

#18 Caribou

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:05 PM

Random old friends will find you on Facebook.

Ditch the number completely. I suspect that’s why the police haven’t don’t any thing because the number hasn’t been ditched.

I doubt they will come after you. If they wanted to, they’d have done so a long time ago. They’re likely getting kicks calling and threatening you.

If you still feel they will come after you, then have measures in place to safe guard yourself. Have a speedail on phone or watch that will call who you need immediately. I.e police or partner.

Does this person actually know you from the past or are they just a random who one day started calling and threatening you?

Edited by Caribou, 17 May 2019 - 02:06 PM.


#19 ELF_em_bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:11 PM

 seayork2002, on 17 May 2019 - 02:00 PM, said:

You cant give details about this person for the police to find them. I would love the police to be able to adequately fix every single thing that the public can possible ask them to but they only have so many resources.

Sure every time a person threatens another on the phone it would be great if the person could be stopped or locked up but sadly life is not like that.

But it’s not simply one threatening call.
It’s a prolonged campaign of intimidation, over 8 years!  I think that’s worthy of a police response.

#20 MurderBritches

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:11 PM

Do they leave voicemail messages? If so then how can the police not act?! That is proof ffs!

Also, depending on what state you are in, you can record conversations you are party to without having to inform the other person. If necessary I would be buying one of those little tape recorders and record every conversation that is made on the calls. When they call start recording just before you answer and put the call on speakerphone. Let them say what they want and dig their own grave.

As an aside....how does this person know you and why are they threatening you?

#21 ELF_em_bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:14 PM

 Caribou, on 17 May 2019 - 02:05 PM, said:


Does this person actually know you from the past or are they just a random who one day started calling and threatening you?


#22 WTFancie shmancie

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:24 PM

OP, do you know who this person is but don't know where they live/work etc?  Or do you have no idea who the caller is?

#23 Smoo

Posted 17 May 2019 - 02:59 PM

Sounds like the police are not doing their job, have you considered contacting your MP to try to get a response

This code of conduct details what is supposed to be done in this sort of situation https://www.commsall...tion-1_2018.pdf
It even states when a trace can be done

#24 SummerStar

Posted 17 May 2019 - 03:05 PM

I'd have got rid of the number all together. Passing it over won't stop the calls. If you were on a plan apparently you can request a new number, some telcos give the first change free.

Edited by SummerStar, 17 May 2019 - 03:06 PM.


#25 Jelly Bee

Posted 17 May 2019 - 03:45 PM

 Caribou, on 17 May 2019 - 02:05 PM, said:

Random old friends will find you on Facebook.

Ditch the number completely. I suspect that’s why the police haven’t don’t any thing because the number hasn’t been ditched.

I doubt they will come after you. If they wanted to, they’d have done so a long time ago. They’re likely getting kicks calling and threatening you.

If you still feel they will come after you, then have measures in place to safe guard yourself. Have a speedail on phone or watch that will call who you need immediately. I.e police or partner.

Does this person actually know you from the past or are they just a random who one day started calling and threatening you?

Thank you.
I'm not on facebook or social media like that. Neither is my other half.
Yes, they know me. They are a close friend of my ex, and the harrassment began when my ex and I split up.
Over the time I knew them I knew them to harrass other females though never for as long as this




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