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Circumcision in 8yo with ASD..


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#1 Charli73

Posted 19 May 2019 - 07:32 PM

Hi
So my 8yo DS has ASD/ADHD/ODD and he complains of having pain when he has to clean his foreskin in the shower.

As a child with ASD he is terrible at personal hygiene and his dad is circumcised. We decided at birth not to do it but we didn’t know he was ASD.

Has anyone had their child circumcised at this age? WhT was the recovery or procedure like?

Would love some feedback about recovery and if it was painful...

#2 Pooks Combusted

Posted 19 May 2019 - 07:38 PM

My friend’s son was circumcised for similar reasons including repeat infections at a similar age. They put him under a general and also had dental work done at the same time. This was through the children’s hospital. The recovery was pretty straightforward.

#3 TheGreenSheep

Posted 19 May 2019 - 08:00 PM

Whilst my DS doesn’t have ASD, he was circ’ed at 10yo. He was relieved to have it done, he was experiencing a lot of discomfort for some time. The healing time was pretty straightforward.

There was a reasonable amount of information shared in this recent thread

http://www.essential...n#entry18364059

#4 Paddlepop

Posted 19 May 2019 - 10:55 PM

View PostCharli73, on 19 May 2019 - 07:32 PM, said:

As a child with ASD he is terrible at personal hygiene and his dad is circumcised. We decided at birth not to do it but we didn’t know he was ASD.

It sounds like you think any male with ASD is incapable of properly cleaning an uncircumcised penis. That's not true.

However it does sound like he definitely needs to see a GP to see why he's getting pain. Hopefully it's simple and can be easily fixed.

#5 Charli73

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:15 PM

 Paddlepop, on 19 May 2019 - 10:55 PM, said:



It sounds like you think any male with ASD is incapable of properly cleaning an uncircumcised penis. That's not true.

However it does sound like he definitely needs to see a GP to see why he's getting pain. Hopefully it's simple and can be easily fixed.

That’s not what I said. Personal hygiene for children on the spectrum is boring. This is why I am still reminding my DS to wash his hands after toileting, remind him to flush the toilet, use toilet paper and clean his hands afterwards and before eating. If he cannot remember to do these I’m sure cleaning a foreskin will not be a priority especially when I’m not around to remind him.
If I can make his life easier by giving him one less thing to have to clean every day then I thought that would be beneficial, especially if it’s sore when he does it, hence he will probably avoid it.

Edited by Charli73, 20 May 2019 - 10:17 PM.


#6 Paddlepop

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:18 PM

Please don't make blanket statements about children on the autism spectrum. Just because your child with ASD finds personal hygiene boring doesn't mean that all children with ASD find it boring. My child with ASD is quite fastidious about some aspects of personal hygiene.

#7 Charli73

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:24 PM

Just going by what I have read and what I have experienced. Is there a child who is an exception to this? I’m sure there is.

#8 AliasMater

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:30 PM

Children that age don't really need to do any special cleaning of their penis, especially with soaps. No soaps, just the run off or whatever is un the bath water. I wonder if all this cleaning and possible forced retraction for cleaning has caused the problem. If he doesn't retract yet, forcing retraction will cause pain due to tearing and scar tissue.

Just leave his penis be.

Edited by AliasMater, 20 May 2019 - 10:35 PM.


#9 Charli73

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:41 PM

He had an infection so his GP told him he needed to retract it and clean it with water at least weekly. I probably should have mentioned that’s how this all started.


#10 Paddlepop

Posted 20 May 2019 - 10:48 PM

 Charli73, on 20 May 2019 - 10:24 PM, said:

Just going by what I have read and what I have experienced. Is there a child who is an exception to this? I’m sure there is.

Of course there is. If you know one person with autism, then you know one person with autism. They're all individuals. Some will crave firm pressure from cuddles, some will avoid cuddles and physical contact, some will not care at all about being dirty and messy, some will get very upset at the smallest bit of dirt on them or even one thing out place, some will be highly intelligent and get top marks at school and some will struggle to pass even basic subjects or not pass at all.

Your DS definitely needs to see a GP for a check up of his penis. Whether he has a foreskin or not he'll still need to clean his penis daily. Once he's old enough for his foreskin to fully retract it will be a very simple matter of retracting it and washing his penis. My DH has ASD and is uncircumcised. He's never had a problem with penis cleanliness. He says that it's very simple to keep it clean. He gets confused about why people think a foreskin is difficult to keep clean compared to all of the folds, nooks and crannies of a female's genitals.

Just saw your update. It sounds like he's possibly been forcing retraction which will have led to pain if his foreskin wasn't ready to retract. He doesn't need to force it back. Just wash what's there and let plenty of water wash over it and under the foreskin. See a GP anyway just in case he does have a serious problem that needs medical attention.

#11 FEdeRAL

Posted 20 May 2019 - 11:08 PM

Agree with PP. My 8yo still can’t retract his even by half, this is normal apparently - up until puberty. So maybe he has been forcing it a bit much causing the pain?


#12 annodam

Posted 20 May 2019 - 11:27 PM

Paddlepop, I know what you're saying but reading the OP I read is as her son is having this problem.
I don't think she was implying all ASD kids.  It seems he alone is having this personal hygiene issue.
It's how I read it anyways.

But on the foreskin issue, my own son now 10½ doesn't do anything to his penis when he showers, just a quick rub with some soap.

#13 Paddlepop

Posted 20 May 2019 - 11:52 PM

 annodam, on 20 May 2019 - 11:27 PM, said:

Paddlepop, I know what you're saying but reading the OP I read is as her son is having this problem.
I don't think she was implying all ASD kids.  It seems he alone is having this personal hygiene issue.
It's how I read it anyways.

She has directly said all ASD kids. She has made blanket statements. She has not said personal hygiene for my child on the spectrum is boring. She said for children on the spectrum. She was surprised when I said that not all children with ASD find personal hygiene boring. Personally I don't need to remind my child with ASD to wash her hands after the toilet. If anything I have to tell her to use less soap when washing her hands afterwards because she likes to make sure her hands are clean.

My husband with ASD has managed to clean his foreskin daily for 41 years. Having ASD does not equate to needing a circumcision. If OP's DS's foreskin is too tight due to phismosis or anything medical like that then yes, he needs a circumcision to stop the pain. If he simply needs to wash it more gently and not undergo an operation then that would be ideal surely.  

 Charli73, on 20 May 2019 - 10:15 PM, said:

That’s not what I said. Personal hygiene for children on the spectrum is boring. This is why I am still reminding my DS to wash his hands after toileting, remind him to flush the toilet, use toilet paper and clean his hands afterwards and before eating. If he cannot remember to do these I’m sure cleaning a foreskin will not be a priority especially when I’m not around to remind him.
If I can make his life easier by giving him one less thing to have to clean every day then I thought that would be beneficial, especially if it’s sore when he does it, hence he will probably avoid it.

 Charli73, on 20 May 2019 - 10:24 PM, said:

Just going by what I have read and what I have experienced. Is there a child who is an exception to this? I’m sure there is.


#14 FatherofFour

Posted 21 May 2019 - 03:18 AM

 AliasMater, on 20 May 2019 - 10:30 PM, said:

Children that age don't really need to do any special cleaning of their penis, especially with soaps. No soaps, just the run off or whatever is un the bath water. I wonder if all this cleaning and possible forced retraction for cleaning has caused the problem. If he doesn't retract yet, forcing retraction will cause pain due to tearing and scar tissue.

Just leave his penis be.

Until when?

Until he gets to puberty and starts having painful erections?

I love all the womansplaining that goes on in these circumcision threads.

OP - I have twins who were both circumcised at about that age (maybe 9) because they couldn't retract their foreskin and no amount of creams or 'waiting for puberty' was going to change that.

Absolutely the right decision to make for them in hindsight and there were plenty of older boys in the recovery ward that day who were probably wishing they had it done earlier.

Bear in mind there are about 20,000 circumcisions done in Australia per year so it is hardly a uncommon procedure.

Edited to say my boys were 11 and not 9 as I said above (I just asked them if they were glad they did it then instead of now - they are 14) when one of the said - we were 11, not 9 :) - how time flys.

Edited by FatherofFour, 21 May 2019 - 08:28 AM.


#15 Kreme

Posted 21 May 2019 - 07:09 AM

I’m glad I came back to this thread because I was wondering why an 8 year old was trying to retract his foreskin in the first place.

OP I would certainly investigate whether the pain is coming from the forced retraction before going down the surgery route. How many infections has he had?

#16 AliasMater

Posted 21 May 2019 - 07:10 AM

 FatherofFour, on 21 May 2019 - 03:18 AM, said:

I love all the womansplaining that goes on in these circumcision threads.


Pathetic. If womansplaining were a thing, then surely it would only be so if the OP, who I was speaking to, were a MAN. Further, to 'womansplain' I would be speaking ro HIM in a way that undervaliued and ignored HIS experience and point of view whilst being pateonising and condescending.

Go to the Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne information page on penis care. It says the same as what I did.

#17 Soontobegran

Posted 21 May 2019 - 07:34 AM

 FatherofFour, on 21 May 2019 - 03:18 AM, said:



Until when?

Until he gets to puberty and starts having painful erections?

I love all the womansplaining that goes on in these circumcision threads.

OP - I have twins who were both circumcised at about that age (maybe 9) because they couldn't retract their foreskin and no amount of creams or 'waiting for puberty' was going to change that.

Absolutely the right decision to make for them in hindsight and there were plenty of older boys in the recovery ward that day who were probably wishing they had it done earlier.

Bear in mind there are about 20,000 circumcisions done in Australia per year so it is hardly a uncommon procedure.

1 in 100 boys will need to be done.
I am female I am sure I have seen more circumcisions than you have.
“ womansplaining” .... good one.

Foreskins are often not retractable until boys are tweens. It IS normal. Parents need to stop pulling at them early, doctors need to stop telling parents to do it.

All that being said the OP’s son might well be one of those boys who needs it..... it does happen.

ETA ... there were 30,000 appendicectomies in Australia in 2018..... perhaps we should all have one done just in case ? Otherwise most of us will die with our appendix still in our abdomen.

Edited by Soontobegran, 21 May 2019 - 07:43 AM.


#18 FatherofFour

Posted 21 May 2019 - 07:54 AM

 Kreme, on 21 May 2019 - 07:09 AM, said:

I’m glad I came back to this thread because I was wondering why an 8 year old was trying to retract his foreskin in the first place.

OP I would certainly investigate whether the pain is coming from the forced retraction before going down the surgery route. How many infections has he had?

You were wondering why a 8 year old boy was trying to retract his foreskin? Really ... have you ever been a boy? do you have boys? because if the answer to either of those questions was yes then you would know how much boys like to touch and manipulate their penises.

If they are standing at the toilet to wee and the urine is spraying everywhere due to it being misdirected by the foreskin, what do you think they would try and do?

There are many reasons why boys will try and retract their foreskins, it seems most will be able to but many will not.

So let's stop being anti-circumcision just for the sake of being anti-circumcision and maybe try to learn a bit more about the possibilities of foreskin not retracting (or not retracting enough for the to be comfortable with the look and feel later in life) and be will to make a decision earlier rather than waiting for puberty.

#19 Soontobegran

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:03 AM

 FatherofFour, on 21 May 2019 - 07:54 AM, said:



You were wondering why a 8 year old boy was trying to retract his foreskin? Really ... have you ever been a boy? do you have boys? because if the answer to either of those questions was yes then you would know how much boys like to touch and manipulate their penises.

If they are standing at the toilet to wee and the urine is spraying everywhere due to it being misdirected by the foreskin, what do you think they would try and do?

There are many reasons why boys will try and retract their foreskins, it seems most will be able to but many will not.

So let's stop being anti-circumcision just for the sake of being anti-circumcision and maybe try to learn a bit more about the possibilities of foreskin not retracting (or not retracting enough for the to be comfortable with the look and feel later in life) and be will to make a decision earlier rather than waiting for puberty.

#mansplaining



WHO does not recommend routine circumcising .... I’ll stick with their opinion despite me being without a penis.

#20 FatherofFour

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:04 AM

 AliasMater, on 21 May 2019 - 07:10 AM, said:

Pathetic. If womansplaining were a thing, then surely it would only be so if the OP, who I was speaking to, were a MAN. Further, to 'womansplain' I would be speaking ro HIM in a way that undervaliued and ignored HIS experience and point of view whilst being pateonising and condescending.

Go to the Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne information page on penis care. It says the same as what I did.



You are a woman (I presume) trying to explain something that only a man can know about.

That is my definition of womansplaining and that stands until you can show me otherwise.

Do you even have boys with foreskins? If you do I hope you understand a bit more about them that what you have read on a hospitals penis care page.

#21 Romeo Void

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:04 AM

 FatherofFour, on 21 May 2019 - 07:54 AM, said:

You were wondering why a 8 year old boy was trying to retract his foreskin? Really ... have you ever been a boy? do you have boys? because if the answer to either of those questions was yes then you would know how much boys like to touch and manipulate their penises.

If they are standing at the toilet to wee and the urine is spraying everywhere due to it being misdirected by the foreskin, what do you think they would try and do?

There are many reasons why boys will try and retract their foreskins, it seems most will be able to but many will not.

So let's stop being anti-circumcision just for the sake of being anti-circumcision and maybe try to learn a bit more about the possibilities of foreskin not retracting (or not retracting enough for the to be comfortable with the look and feel later in life) and be will to make a decision earlier rather than waiting for puberty.
No one here said circumcision isn't warranted ever but it's surgery, surely you'd agree that you should make sure it's necessary.

Edited by Sandra, 21 May 2019 - 08:41 AM.
Personal Attack


#22 Octopodes

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:05 AM

I am so glad others were confused by the penis cleaning and forced retracting of the foreskin comments also. I thought it was normal for it not to retract until puberty and to just wash it with water etc. I don't even know if my 12 year old's foreskin retracts, I've never asked and he's never complained of it hurting so I've let him be. He's a 'talker' so he'd tell me if there was a problem.

#23 Romeo Void

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:07 AM

And yes we are discussing something that pertains to boys....because as usual, WE are the ones dealing with it. Thanks for being the only man who bothered answering so far...even if it was with your bovver boots on.

Edited by Romeo Void, 21 May 2019 - 08:07 AM.


#24 FatherofFour

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:11 AM

 Soontobegran, on 21 May 2019 - 08:03 AM, said:

#mansplaining



WHO does not recommend routine circumcising .... I’ll stick with their opinion despite me being without a penis.

I certainly don't advocate routine circumcising .. where did you get that from? There are enough followers of religions in Australia who do though.

My point was only that on EB I have read many circumcision threads and they all have the bias of not doing the circumcision, and even more worrying is the seemingly lack of knowledge of how boys and foreskins interact and the notion that ignoring it until they get older and it will change is the only way to go.

#25 AliasMater

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:14 AM

Sorry, didn't realise you were a urologist. Carry on...




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