Jump to content

IS this depression or anxiety? Would meds help?


  • Please log in to reply
22 replies to this topic

#1 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 21 May 2019 - 10:15 AM

I am feeling so low at the moment, and I just can't seem to bounce back.  The election result of the weekend has really thrown me, but I think I'm over-reacting maybe?  It is so far out of my control, it shouldn't be affecting me to the extent it is.

Some of you may know (I've posted a couple of times) I was diagnosed with breast cancer last year.   Very early, tiny lump removed and ongoing Tamoxifen.  I'm fine - brilliant prognosis, so not something to affect me ongoing.

Then DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer a couple of months ago.  He's started hormone treatment, and radiation in a couple of months.  Again - good prognosis (not as good as mine, but still not a death sentence).  And he's going really well, fairly symptom free.  

He does only work 3 days a week though (due to redundancy a couple of years ago).  Plans have not exactly panned out, we had hoped he would be full time by now, but now with his treatment, it's not a great time to be putting pressure on him to work more.

Which leads to money stresses.  Not huge, but next years school fees are going to be hard.  DOn't want to pull the kids out of school (high school) but it's an ongoing thing hanging over my head.  

And at work - had to start one of my staff on 'performance management' and she has come out swinging against me .  I'm almost expecting a bullying complaint - even though I've been trying to manage her through this for 2 years.  THis is her third time on perfomance management, but I can't seem to fix it or get rid of her.

Oh and DS - 13, with anxiety.  He's up and down, but he tells me when he's 'up' and seems happy, he's just faking it.  (He's seeing a psychologist regularly and the school are involved, but it throws me into a spin every time we talk about how he feels.  I just can't help him).  

Until last weekend I've been fine.  Just getting on with it.  But I think now I need to put my hand up for some help.  I'm going to see the work EAP counselor - although I'm not sure that just talking will help.  

I'm getting out of bed, doing all the things - kids school drop off, coming to work.  Just getting on with it.  But I can't shake this deep down feeling of "I just don't care anymore".  I just want to cry - but I don't know what about.  Or go back to bed and avoid the world.  Watch mindless tv.

I sit at my desk on EB or the newspapers and rubbish all day. I don't even want to answer my phone, or do any work.  It sounds like depression?  Or is it anxiety?  Or both?   I just want to run away, but I can't.  And everyone thinks I'm ok - I'm too scared to open the floodgates in case I can't close it again.

Or is it maybe just a bad patch because I've got so much going on?  What is the difference?

And finally - because I know so many of you have been here - do you think meds would help?  WOuld anti-depressants and some counseling help?  Quickly?????? I can't keep going the way I feel.

Edited by Ruf~Feral~es, 21 May 2019 - 10:16 AM.


#2 overlytired

Posted 21 May 2019 - 10:23 AM

I have no advice or insight to offer, but couldn't read and not post. I'm very sorry you're dealing with so much at the moment and hope that things start looking up for all of you.

#3 WTFJerk

Posted 21 May 2019 - 10:57 AM

I love mine.  For me I think it was more anxiety.  There was a transition period that lasted 2 weeks though.  I was jittery and had no filter.

I have no plans to get off them, I know the condition I was before I started and I ain’t going back to that.

#4 amdirel

Posted 21 May 2019 - 11:12 AM

I actually feel very similar. I think it's just me being overwhelmed with the huge amount of cr@pola I have to deal with in almost every aspect of my life. Depression has crossed my mind, but at the moment I'm just running with the "I'm just overwhelmed" line...

#5 rob^2

Posted 21 May 2019 - 11:23 AM

It sounds like you have reactive or situational depression - understandable seeing as what you are going through.  (as opposed to clinical depression - long term mental health condition).

I hope the work counsellor is understanding and helpful to talk to.  Otherwise is there counselling you can access through you or your husbands medical teams (I would hope there is something subsidized for cancer patients!)?

#6 cinnabubble

Posted 21 May 2019 - 11:48 AM

It all sounds like it’s too much right now. I reckon see the EAP person, but see your GP too.

If the GP prescribes antidepressants there’s almost certainly no harm in taking them for a trial couple of months to see if they help.

I fought the idea of taking antidepressants for years, but they were life changing in the best way. They might be what you need to get out of your own head for a bit.

Edited by cinnabubble, 21 May 2019 - 11:49 AM.


#7 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 21 May 2019 - 11:48 AM

Deep breaths. You have waaay too much on your plate at present.

As PP mentioned I would be inclined towards situational depression. That does not mean don’t get help, please seek help.

I knew part of my PND years ago was part situational, that once XYZ picked up it would all be OK, but getting through to that point seemed endless (and crazy anxiety kicked in too). For me counseling did work and luckily part of my situational end point was fixed so I knew I just had to hold onto it until X date. But if I did not have that golden carrot X date I would have most likely been on meds.

I can say the change in weather doesn’t help. I am currently pretty much in a similar state, but without the added stresses of cancer for DH and I and added job stresses. My job stress is more around not having one, moitoring a house build which has gone overtime and overbudget etc. once again I know within 2m the house stuff will be sorted but to get to that point seems too hard.

I am lost without a rudder at present.

So give yourself some slack and talk to Psychologist and your Drs.



#8 Renovators delight

Posted 21 May 2019 - 11:59 AM

View PostRuf~Feral~es, on 21 May 2019 - 10:15 AM, said:

I'm getting out of bed, doing all the things - kids school drop off, coming to work.  Just getting on with it.  But I can't shake this deep down feeling of "I just don't care anymore".  I just want to cry - but I don't know what about.  Or go back to bed and avoid the world.  Watch mindless tv.

I sit at my desk on EB or the newspapers and rubbish all day. I don't even want to answer my phone, or do any work.  

Just from your description, it does sound very much like anxiety that may have arisen from the enormous number of stressful incidents impacting on you right now.

Personally I am able to 'function' in an approximate fashion, but taking the right medicine helps me to actually get stuff done instead of wallowing in treacle.

I would say its something definitely worth discussing with your GP. It has taken me a lot of trial and error with an unconventional medicine being the one that does the trick for me, so please don't be discouraged if no medicines are suggested, or a suggested one doesn't do the trick.

I'm so sorry that you are going through that much, it doesn't seem very fair at all :(

#9 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 21 May 2019 - 12:23 PM

I have been on ADs for 10 years and finally came off a few months ago. At the time of starting them I was not in any place to ask questions of the prescribing doctor. I wish in hindsight someone should of. Even if you cannot, either write a list or take a support person to ask questions.
Side effects going on and coming off
How hard and length of time it usually takes to come off.
Weight gain likeliness
Average dose usually prescribed
Cost

Hopefully a good GP would go through this with you or at least print out info sheets for you to take home. Mine didn't and although I really appreciate what ADs have done for my life, it hasn't come without issues I wish I knew about.

You do sound like you have hit a breaking point as such and I hope you can find the right help with this.

#10 auntycharlie

Posted 21 May 2019 - 01:05 PM

Firstly, don't underestimate the impact that Tamoxifen can have on your mental health. Among the most common side effects are fatigue, mood swings and depression. I was on it for five years, and didn't realise how sh*t it made me feel until I stopped taking it. I'm not suggesting that you stop taking it (as it really does have a huge impact on continued remission) but it should be considered as a factor in your mental health.

Also, you seem to be underselling the impact of a cancer diagnosis. Whether or not your prognosis is good, it's a bloody huge thing to have happen to you - let alone to both you and your DH - and even if it's not forefront of mind it will be there in the background. From personal experience, specialist counselling does wonders - the Cancer Council is the best place to start.

#11 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 21 May 2019 - 02:01 PM

Thank you everyone - even just writing it out and reading the responses has given me some perspective.  Much appreciated.

Kiwi Bicycle - those questions are all good.  Thanks.  I work in health, so am not afraid of questioning 'experts', but having a list is always easy.

Weight gain is also an issue - I have struggled with anorexia and bulimia in the past, and know myself well enough that if I was to gain weight right now - medication or comfort eating - it would easily tip me back into unhealthy behaviours, which I also know I can't afford right now.

Quote

Personally I am able to 'function' in an approximate fashion, but taking the right medicine helps me to actually get stuff done instead of wallowing in treacle.


This is absolutely it - the best descriptor.  I know what I need to do, I know it's not hard - pick up the phone and make the call, send the email, finish that document - And I know I'll feel so much better when it's done........ but I'll just surf the net for another half hour, then I'll go home having not done any of my list, and stress about it all night - until I avoid and procrastinate all day again tomorrow.  


I am so cross with myself.  But can't seem to fix it - treacle.

#12 Mollyksy

Posted 21 May 2019 - 02:13 PM

View Postauntycharlie, on 21 May 2019 - 01:05 PM, said:

Firstly, don't underestimate the impact that Tamoxifen can have on your mental health. Among the most common side effects are fatigue, mood swings and depression. I was on it for five years, and didn't realise how sh*t it made me feel until I stopped taking it. I'm not suggesting that you stop taking it (as it really does have a huge impact on continued remission) but it should be considered as a factor in your mental health.

Also, you seem to be underselling the impact of a cancer diagnosis. Whether or not your prognosis is good, it's a bloody huge thing to have happen to you - let alone to both you and your DH - and even if it's not forefront of mind it will be there in the background. From personal experience, specialist counselling does wonders - the Cancer Council is the best place to start.

This. I've not taken tamoxifen but my mum had to stop taking it for the depression/anxiety it induced in her. As PP said, it sounds like when I had 'reactive depression' (my gp described it like being depressed with a bloody good reason!). ADs helped numb me to function. Very even mood. No lows but no highs. It served a purpose but years later I was reluctant to take them again. It's such a personal thing.

You've got so much going on. Seeing a psychologist helped me. My mum always refused saying 'they can't change the aspects of my life that are fixed'. And no they can't of course. But they can help your mindset to better deal with the fixed.

All the very best.

Edited to English better!

Edited by Mollyksy, 21 May 2019 - 02:14 PM.


#13 a letter to Elise.

Posted 21 May 2019 - 02:27 PM

Sounds very much like situational depression. I go though similar phases. I have a number of health issues, a kid with ptsd, another with severe food allergies and anxiety, and a two year old. Sometimes it’s just all too much.

None of my stuff is going away any time soon. But talking to someone does help, even if it’s just a place to vent my frustrations, or process whatever it is that I’m dealing with.

I think medication can be really helpful while you work on getting the tools to cope. Then you might stay on the meds, taper off a bit, or stop completely, depending on how you’re going. You’ve got a lot on your plate. I think getting some help to cope with it all is a really good idea.

#14 purplekitty

Posted 21 May 2019 - 02:41 PM

I think you are understandably overwhelmed with life circumstances atm and the election result has weighed down the scales too much.

I get the feeling you are very sensitive to things and just looking within my own family this w/e we have all reacted differently although we all have strong political ideals.
Myself and a couple of others are absolutely devastated.Others are dismayed but pragmatic.

It will get better than today,almost half of Australia voted progressively in the face of a huge disinformation campaign.

Seek the help and support you need for yourself,you deserve it and let others carry the political concern and responsibility for now.
Don't be afraid of pharmacological help at all.

#15 IamOzgirl

Posted 21 May 2019 - 02:49 PM

Hi OP, i have read all the responses but wanted to post.

Not sure if you are sure of my story but i have recently been put on anti d's for anxiety and depression and PTSD. A friend suggested i try Mindspot. It is a govt funded website and they start with doing an online assessment (which is by no means comprehensive) but i came out with clinical levels of all 3 of the above. Meds are helping and so is the online 'course' mindspot have put me on all completely free.

mindspot.org.au

at the least it will help you identify if it is anxiety/depression or both.

Whilst i already had a mental health plan doing the 'assessment' gave me the courage to ask for more help (ie meds)

#16 Pooks Combusted

Posted 21 May 2019 - 04:21 PM

The thing about depression is it often stops you from being able to recognise that you are depressed. It’s a shape shifting b*st*rd. I have a script for antidepressants somewhere and I haven’t filled it even though I clearly am depressed. I’m trying to do other stuff to lift me out of it. It’s not working. Don’t be like Pooks, take the drugs. It will make doing the other stuff possible.

ETA my page refreshed after I posted and I realised I missed the bit about the meds you’re on. It definitely sounds like you need to talk to your medical team.

Edited by Pooks Combusted, 21 May 2019 - 04:26 PM.


#17 Soontobegran

Posted 21 May 2019 - 04:49 PM

You are overwhelmed and rightly so.

I fully support the use of drugs and a great psychologist......it's no different to needing drugs for other health issues however I am wondering if you've had your thyroid function levels tested recently.
Some of what you are feeling sound identical to my symptoms when I was all over the shop with my thyroid gland.
I was already on anti depressants but something didn't feel quite right.

I am sorry you are doing it tough right now...hope you feel better soon.

#18 Oriental lily

Posted 21 May 2019 - 05:21 PM

I have always tended to be anxious . But after my first born was born 15 years ago it went extreme . I battled feeling in a constant state of stress and feeling ‘out of control’ for 12 years . During that time I saw counsellors and the like but refused meds ( due to a bad experience my sister and parents had on them ) .

Three years ago during a particular stressful time ( both parents extremely ill at the same time ) I knew I needed help or I was heading for a full nervous breakdown .

Soooo brilliant !

I will never go off them !

I agree give them a go .

It might not be an answer but you will never know if you don’t give it a go !

#19 ELF_em_bee

Posted 21 May 2019 - 08:20 PM

Hi,
I’m sorry you’re feeling like this 😞.
I was in a similar place almost exactly 2 years ago.  I was overwhelmed, still struggling through, but not myself at all.  It was around Anzac Day and I couldn’t work out why I was so, so upset about it, crying every night after the day was over after trying to hold it in during the day.
About two weeks later I just found that I couldn’t do anything, couldn’t go to work, without crying or having an awful foreboding feeling and sometimes I felt like I just wasn’t here.  

I went to see my awesome GP.  He was very reassuring.  He arranged for me to start medication, (and subsequently monitored me to get the dosage right), organised a mental health care plan, found a psychologist that I could see almost immediately (like later the same week).  

Now 2 years later I am feeling so much better.  The medication most definitely helped, but in conjunction with seeing my psychologist.  The ADs took a few weeks to really kick in.  During that time I needed to rest as much as possible.
Don’t underestimate the effects on your body from poor mental health.  Anxiety totally zaps your physical and mental energy.  

Please, please go and see your GP and if they are not experienced with mental health medicine, get another opinion.  Things can be so much better with the appropriate care provider to help you.
Have a look here:


https://www.beyondbl...l-health-issues

I learnt exactly what anxiety is, how it effects ME and some strategies to cope with it.   I most definitely recommend medication as a tool to help you.  It won’t fix everything but, omg the difference in 6 months was amazing.

I wish you all the best, PM me if you want.

#20 zogee

Posted 23 May 2019 - 09:51 PM

I think that two modes of treatment is best, eg: medication and therapy. A good clinical psych can be so, so helpful. Expensive yes, but for me it’s been worth every penny.
Medication can help drag you out of the ‘hole’ you feel stuck
in, so you can actually make some changes and see progress. I was more anxious than depressed but antidepressants still helped. I went from being unable to decide what to make for dinner to actually functioning well. I only took them for a year and was able to come off them with no real trouble.
Thinking of you OP 💓💓

#21 WaitForMe

Posted 23 May 2019 - 11:10 PM

If you are on meds that have depression as a possible side effect, don't discount the impact of that. Just because you can write a list of stuff going on in your life contributing to your depression doesn't mean your meds aren't amplifying things or making it harder for you to shrug things off.

Personally, I don't like to take medication if theres another reasonable solution. However, I don't know how effective seeing a psych alone without AD, would be if your depression is aided by medication. Disclaimer: not a doctor.

I think its worth seeing both the EAP and your GP.

#22 McG2013

Posted 24 May 2019 - 01:57 AM

So sorry you're going through this. I've had periods feeling very similar to this when I'm extremely overwhelmed.

In regards to the school fees, you should try talk to the school and see if they can offer any help with school fees. When my parents divorced I had just started high school and my mum was paying fees solo. The school agreed to reduce the annual amount due but extend the time frame they were paid over so she was paying them still after we finished grade 12 but wasn't so worried about the amount every year.

I hope things get a little more manageable ASAP.

Edited by McG2013, 24 May 2019 - 01:57 AM.


#23 Chaotic Pogo

Posted 24 May 2019 - 04:56 AM

I resisted going onto meds for almost a decade. I wish I had just listened  the Dr earlier.
Not trying to say meds are the right thing for you, but that I had a stupid idea I could just tough it out and didn’t need them (like refusing Panadol when you hit your thumb with a hammer!). Sure, maybe I could keep roughing it out but it’s not pleasant!

PPs have already said everything else I was going to add. Except that situational depression is still depression, very hard, and if the situation is not about to get changed, still needs to be looked after just as much as any other kind of depression or anxiety

To PP wallowing in treacle, I always said ‘trying to wade through molasses’!




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.