I am so scared. I feel like I am jumping off a cliff and gambling if my parachute will work or not. I am so scred deep down he has made up his mind. I’ve asked him what properly trying looks like but he said he isn’t 100% sure yet. He is not completely opposed to counsclling but think it may be hard to get him there. I am going to go and get a referral to see one regardless of what happens.
I know it’s not 100% my fault but I have shut him out in many way while also being so moody and grumpy. It’s easy to comfortable after all of these years and forget why you love your partner. I probably haven’t been the most respectful wife also not considering his needs/wants (not just sexually - he’s never pressured me about that).
Time will tell. I am just not sure how I will get through each day having ijnthr back of my mind that he might turn around tomorrow and say he can’t do this.
As people have said, raising young kids is so hard. I was running on autopilot a lot of the time, tired, go to work, come home, run around after the kids, go to bed early, back to work... groundhog day. You just end up getting fed up, there's no respite, little joy in your life and you want out...
I feel that your relationship is salvageable, counselling will help and maybe reworking your week a bit as in perhaps (if possible) having some kid free time with your DH, having a weekly date night, something to look forward to.