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Was money a huge factor when considering a 2nd or 3rd child?
86 replies to this topic
Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:36 PM
Was money a huge factor when considering whether to have additional children - or were you of the mindset that you will just make your finances work? I feel stressed when thinking about a second and I think it most centres around money. I don’t want to feel like we can’t cope financially and not have a buffer in the bank. Thoughts?
Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:43 PM
Yes. We basically didn’t go with a third because money was a major factor, least for DH it was. Though I felt we would make it work regardless. But I did agree money played a part. In my mind, our income typically increased each year but there was no guarantee that was infinite. I was willing to gamble our chances though.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:44 PM
It wasn't a factor for us. We are comfortable-ish, but knew we could pick up more work or trim expenses if needed. We would have needed to consider this more closely if we were thinking 4+.
While everyone has their ideal number they think of, "one and done" was never on our radar.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:52 PM
A big factor for us, but more the fact that if we had a 3rd I didn’t want to go back to work nor work through pregnancy with how tough my 2nd was. financially I couldn’t stay home indefinitely and have a lifestyle that was even the slightest bit comfortable.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:54 PM
Yes of course especially if you need a bigger car or house or like to holiday. A second or third makes all of those things considerably more expensive.
And I know people say oh well you adjust and will make it work, sure but it’s not always that easy.
ETA - additional needs are a huge cost factor to consider too, like other posters have said!
Edited by ~J_WTF~, 10 June 2019 - 02:21 PM.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:01 PM
Not for 1-3. Finances were in mind, but it wasn't until considering #4 that we knew realistically we'd have to stop for financial/practical reasons. Plus we are both exhausted lol, much as a part of me would love another and I don't think dh is actually opposed to another baby, the practical implications of having another I think would just stretch us too thin. I'm very much of a "we can make it work" mentality with finances, but of course there's always a limit to when making it work becomes more of a burden on the family than physical. Dh is more conservative with money, but he's also not the one that calls around places to get better prices etc. so he tends to take "this is what we're paying" as the end of it, not my - we can probably cut this back a bit
Edited by Kallie88, 10 June 2019 - 02:02 PM.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:09 PM
Not for 1-3. Finances were in mind, but it wasn't until considering #4 that we knew realistically we'd have to stop for financial/practical reasons. Plus we are both exhausted lol,
Same. Also throw into the mix a child with additional needs and realising that to provide that child with adequate support it would mean stopping at 3.
Going to 4 would have meant a larger car, bigger house and me having to go back to work sooner.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:09 PM
Not for me but absolutely for dh. We have 2 and are discussing another. I know we can make it work but dh is worried about our lifestyle and the fact we have decided on private education. In my mind we can cut that and save thousands every year if we really need to where are he is now figuring that in as baseline spending. Also just the cost of having the baby (private hospital and ob) and then more years of me working part time.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:15 PM
It's in my top 5 reason why no 2nd, would need to give up my WWE/AFL room, Not happening
Not wanting to be pregnant at all, ever again and not wanting newborn stage again are also huge reasons.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:20 PM
Yes - money was a huge factor in our decision to stop at 2 kids. We have lost our minds after having 2 kids - so that was a consideration for us too !
Ironically enough it isn't the baby / toddler years that destroy you money wise - the obvious exception is daycare fees - but it's the ongoing money worries - food / shelter / education / day to day living expenses that means for us there could never, realistically have been baby number 3.
There's also the unseen / unprepared financial burden of children. If your child needs any additional help for anything, then you either go on a waiting list to see someone in the public system (and you don't know when that will be) OR you fork out lots of money to see someone in the private system.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:28 PM
No but our 2nd was unplanned, we are not having a third because I refuse to throw up for another 9 months and hold a third screaming cmpi baby all night for a year
Financially we’d be fine
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:32 PM
It wasn’t a huge consideration for 1-3, but is one of the major reasons we won’t have a 4th. I’d love a 4th and DH isn’t against it but for financial, health and practical reasons it just won’t be happening.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:38 PM
yeh it’s something we certainly took into consideration - i don’t really know how people just pop out kids without any thought to finances “oh you just make it work” - what, just shake the money tree? any baby necessarily means some time off work for the mother (cost implication), another body to clothe, house, feed, entertain (however modestly) (cost implication), child care (cost implication), education - even if public (cost implication), medical and dental (cost implication) and the huge impact on the career of one if not two parents (cost implication).
so yes, it was a factor. as was sanity, desire to sleep, desire to travel and a desire to not contribute anymore to an over populated world.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:44 PM
No as there was absolutely no way I was going to have a third kid. I wanted my body and my sleep back thanks very much.
If we had genuinely wanted a third child then yes, we would have considered whether we could afford it.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:01 PM
Of course, kids cost money & a lot of it, we would've required a bigger car & house.
Yeah, nah, fk that!
Two is plenty for us.
I could've been swayed if I had 2 of the same gender but given I had 1 of each, the decision was an easy one to stop at 2.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:02 PM
No, basically my dh didn't want anymore and there was no convincing him.
I am happy now though, and given how things turned out I am glad just for 2.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:06 PM
Time and inconvenience was the biggest factor for me when deciding to not have a third. Not so much money.
Kids would have to share a room, Id need a bigger car. I’d be doing school/kinder drop offs AND baby stuff. Extra appointments, extra illnesses, extra time of work for things. Harder to book accommodation on holidays, harder to get family tickets. Harder to share a 4 pack of jam doughnuts. Harder to get someone to babysit. Etc.
And If we had a child with health issues or special needs it would all be really too hard. Not worth the risk.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:20 PM
Not at all. We were too young to think about the financials. These days, yes it would.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:23 PM
It wasn't the deciding factor, but it did come up in conversation of pros/cons as a big con to having a second.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:30 PM
For me it was the interplay of time / money / lifestyle.
We could have made 3 work - but that would mean either working more to earn more, and have less time with kids OR working less to have time and energy to juggle 3 kids but stress of counting every penny, no holidays, eating out etc OR working the same and making existing money and time stretch a bit further across 3.
None of the possible combinations were appealing, so we stopped at 2!
Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:49 PM
No, but only because there was no way we were going back for three, we were happy with two and could afford two. If we wanted a third it would have been a factor.
Posted 10 June 2019 - 05:42 PM
No money didn’t factor into our decision, we knew we’d just make it work. We knew what our hearts wanted. Having subsequent children have made financials easier in a sense, with 5 there’s no way we could afford private school fees (would cost ~$900k at today’s prices) so at least we don’t have to worry about that!!
Edited by Fossy, 10 June 2019 - 05:43 PM.
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