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Was money a huge factor when considering a 2nd or 3rd child?


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#26 DaLittleEd

Posted 10 June 2019 - 05:46 PM

.

Edited by DaLittleEd, 12 June 2019 - 04:38 PM.


#27 lozoodle

Posted 10 June 2019 - 05:57 PM

Sort of, it was more the timing of #3 with the cost of having 3 in daycare that was the factor, it was just impossible to fund that so we waited until the eldest would be in school before.

#28 Apageintime

Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:03 PM

Yes. It's the main reason we've stopped at one.

It's not the baby toddler years. Breastfeeding and cosleeping and cloth nappies makes those pretty cheap. It's the teen years that worry me. The need to take time off work. The cost of travel and other hobbies.

The older DS gets the more expensive he is!

#29 amdirel

Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:07 PM

No, we didn't think about it at all, as we were young and naive.
I'm glad we didn't though, for #1 and #2, as the timing would never have been 'right'.
I do wish we considered it for #3 though. 3's expensive! Plus I'm doing it all own my own now. I never ever considered THAT.

#30 daisy007

Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:07 PM

Yes, it was a huge factor for us and probably the main reason we decided to stop at 2.

#31 Octopodes

Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:09 PM

Not really, but it probably should've been given how little we were earning back then.

My mental health was the number one reason.

Followed by
Chances of having more children with additional needs
The fairness of raising an NT child after DS given how much of our resources he has needed
Further loss of individual freedoms due to prolonged childrearing
Environmental impact of overpopulation globally
Climate change

We stopped at one for all of those reasons and more.

Edited by Octopodes, 10 June 2019 - 06:10 PM.


#32 Pooks Combusted

Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:15 PM

So very many reasons, but if I was loaded I guess I might have perhaps considered another. We really should have stopped at one.

#33 DaLittleEd

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:03 PM

View PostOctopodes, on 10 June 2019 - 06:09 PM, said:

Not really, but it probably should've been given how little we were earning back then.

My mental health was the number one reason.

Followed by
Chances of having more children with additional needs
The fairness of raising an NT child after DS given how much of our resources he has needed
Further loss of individual freedoms due to prolonged childrearing
Environmental impact of overpopulation globally
Climate change

We stopped at one for all of those reasons and more.

Yes to this. Money is an important factor but overpopulation and climate change are my main ones. I do also wonder how we would cope financially with more children when food costs increase markedly due to climate change reducing food production.

#34 -Emissary-

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:07 PM

Kind of.

I’m currently pregnant with our 2nd child. It wasn’t exactly planned.

We were worried about money as I earn 25% more than DH and we have a decent sized mortgage. However, we also have decent amount saved up and my company provides 6 months paid mat leave at half pay so I know we will be ok for mat leave. Though I wish we could afford for me to take more time off work, the compromise would be I probably drop to 4 days a week when I return.

If I win the lottery tomorrow, I would definitely have more kids so money is a factor in us deciding to not have anymore than 2.

#35 Navy Blue

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:13 PM

Haha re the 4 pack of donuts comment. All the good stuff comes in a 4 pack.

Means I have to buy 2 packs of anything and stash the couple of extras for me for later - to save the kids fighting over it of course ;)

#36 blueskies12

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:22 PM

Emissary, I feel the same way. If we won lotto tomorrow I would definitely have another child.

So I guess a lot of it boils down to money for us. If we won Lotto we could choose schools, renovate, I could pick and choose what I do with work, we could get paid help with cleaning/babysitting.

With the third it really isn't so much about the Mat Leave as I feel that is fairly short term, but everything else...the big picture.

I feel that with 2 we can afford it and not be stressed.

I never thought I would stop having children because of money.

Edited by blueskies12, 10 June 2019 - 07:23 PM.


#37 NastyGal

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:25 PM

We were financially comfortable so money didn't factor into our two. We always wanted two, only two, and never really contemplated stopping at one.

DP is now disabled and unable to work, so theoretically it would have been better to stop at one but I'm soooo glad we didn't know what the future held. Somehow the money stretches....so far!

#38 MsLaurie

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:26 PM

Not exactly, but when I realised that I would qualify for long service leave before any possible second arrived it suddenly made it easier to consider.

#39 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:39 PM

View PostNavy Blue, on 10 June 2019 - 07:13 PM, said:

Haha re the 4 pack of donuts comment. All the good stuff comes in a 4 pack.

Means I have to buy 2 packs of anything and stash the couple of extras for me for later - to save the kids fighting over it of course ;)

I grew up in a family of 5 you see, and 5 does not go into 4. So we always had half a meat pie for tea, or half a doughnut for dessert, and Mum and dad might have a whole one, which still left half a doughnut uneaten, left politely, until it went stale and dad ate it cause no one else wanted it.
Even buying two packs of 4 didn’t help, cause that just left 3, and my parents couldn’t afford that sort of over catering. Sometimes a 6 pack of something would exist, and then there would be 1 lonely item left going stale, or cut into thirds for us kids.
It was a constant food division battle :lol:
The world seems built for 2 kids (or 6 kids)

#40 casime

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:44 PM

Not finances, but I think anyone having more than 2 children is unnecessary for environmental reasons.

#41 MGB

Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:58 PM

Not at the time. Having 3 in daycare at the one time was eye watering though.

I’m finding as they are getting older it’s costing a lot more, not something we considered when we decided to have 3. Between before and after school care, one still in daycare, extracurricular activities, clothes and food (oh the food bill) I honestly hadn’t given it much thought when they were babies.

#42 ExpatInAsia

Posted 10 June 2019 - 08:07 PM

Money certainly factored into our planning. We went for number 2 and got 2 and 3 so luckily finances were not tight.

Edited by ExpatInAsia, 10 June 2019 - 08:08 PM.


#43 knottygirl

Posted 10 June 2019 - 08:14 PM

It wasn’t a factor before but we consider it now. The high school we have picked was one we could afford to send 3 kids to.  Funnily enough I know people who send their first kid to private school, then struggle to make ends meet with no clue how they will send then next one. A family member sent her first to an exclusive expensive school and then had to sell their house and rent to pay for the next one to go.

#44 coffy11

Posted 10 June 2019 - 08:18 PM

Wasn't really a factor at all.  I was confident we could manage it and we have.

#45 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 10 June 2019 - 08:36 PM

View PostVVV, on 10 June 2019 - 01:36 PM, said:

Was money a huge factor when considering whether to have additional children - or were you of the mindset that you will just make your finances work? I feel stressed when thinking about a second and I think it most centres around money. I don’t want to feel like we can’t cope financially and not have a buffer in the bank. Thoughts?
It wasn't the only factor, but it was a major consideration when we were discussing the possibility of a third child.
DH and I had no intention of deliberately stretching ourselves to the limit, particularly since raising a child is a not a short-term commitment. It wasn't simply direct money costs, but also what that would means for our jobs etc.

#46 smmaho

Posted 10 June 2019 - 08:46 PM

It's definitely something we have thought about in relation to having number two. While we live a comfortable life now we like having a decent financial buffer as well as the ability to go out for dinners, holidays and regular outings. Having a second will definitely put some of those things on hold for a bit especially with me being the higher income earner. I will need to take time off work and then realistically probably go back part time because I don't think the childcare payments as well as my mental health would cope working full time with two under school age.

We have however decided to stop the pill and just see what happens. I'm more on board for a second than my husband. He's perfectly content with one but also happy to have another if that's what I want.

#47 *Nasty*Squeekums*

Posted 10 June 2019 - 09:12 PM

View Postknottygirl, on 10 June 2019 - 08:14 PM, said:

It wasn’t a factor before but we consider it now. The high school we have picked was one we could afford to send 3 kids to.  Funnily enough I know people who send their first kid to private school, then struggle to make ends meet with no clue how they will send then next one. A family member sent her first to an exclusive expensive school and then had to sell their house and rent to pay for the next one to go.

I know someone who sent their first kid to private school
Their 2nd will go to public cos of costs

#48 Lou-bags

Posted 10 June 2019 - 09:18 PM

Not for number 2, no. My DH earns a good income and I was close to finishing studies that meant I’d be soon earning a decent pay also.

For number 3 (almost definite no to that now), it’s a factor. More so for DH than I.

For me the biggest factors leaning me toward stopping at our 2 are my career (I’m not sure it could take another hit) and my body (I worry how much further damage another child would do- I can live with what I have now, which is all reasonably run of the mill stuff, but not sure I’m prepared to risk worse). Just don’t talk to my heart about it, my heart longs for a third baby. Sigh.

#49 knottygirl

Posted 10 June 2019 - 09:26 PM

View Post*Nasty*Squeekums*, on 10 June 2019 - 09:12 PM, said:



I know someone who sent their first kid to private school
Their 2nd will go to public cos of costs

Doesn’t seem right does it? Kind of like old times when the oldest was the heir and the other kids got nothing.

#50 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 10 June 2019 - 09:46 PM

View Post*Nasty*Squeekums*, on 10 June 2019 - 09:12 PM, said:

I know someone who sent their first kid to private school
Their 2nd will go to public cos of costs
that seems particularly dumb to me.

Although if they only intended to have 1 child and #2 was an unintended pregnancy, then I can see how it *could* happen, particularly if it's a bigger age gap. Mind you, you'd think about re-evaluating how essential the private school option is if it's only financially viable for one child and you now have two ....




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