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Was money a huge factor when considering a 2nd or 3rd child?

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#76 Octopodes

Posted 12 June 2019 - 03:46 PM

View Postjayskette, on 12 June 2019 - 01:09 PM, said:

to all of you that have kids I salute you. I have money concerns about having my first child!
Most people just find a way to make it work. You learn to adjust your lifestyle to suit the number of people in the family compared to the amount of money coming in.

#77 Kallie88

Posted 12 June 2019 - 04:04 PM

I think expectations can play a part too. Neither dh or I had families with much money growing up, we know our kids are already much better off than we were financially. So there's less anxiety about being able to pay for holidays, extra curriculars, private school. None of those hold specific importance. If we can afford them, awesome we'll enjoy it, but as long as we can afford basic care and have a small buffer for emergencies we feel we're doing well.

#78 Crombek

Posted 12 June 2019 - 05:28 PM

Yes, but in the sense that we (I) always wanted 3 kids, and essentially we worked from that.

We spent the first 10 years of our relationship making some very deliberate decisions to get to a lifestyle where we could comfortably support 3 kids, and there’s a buffer if something goes wrong.

It’s been an ongoing conversation from very early in our relationship and has effectively coloured our entire life together, from where we live, to the jobs we have, the choices around schools, healthcare, hobbies, age spacing of children etc. Although I will acknowledge there has been a lot of luck (no illnesses, losing jobs etc) I would not say that any of where we have ended up has been accidental.

#79 blueskies12

Posted 12 June 2019 - 07:38 PM

I think it is simplistic to think it's people's values. I don't think I value money/materialism over a bigger family. I do value security.
My husband has been very sick in the past. We were down to one income pre-kids. I was the sole breadwinner. Luckily, he was able to get back into the workforce again.  We know what that is like and how hard it was pre-kids, let alone having to raising kids alongside all of that. I would find it extremely stressful.

Perhaps if we had not have had this experience we would be more likely to throw caution to the wind and have 3.

I hate that it is like this and I'm sad that we are factoring it in.

#80 Pearson

Posted 13 June 2019 - 06:26 AM

huge consideration. Had issues conceiving #2. Looked at assisted conception. Told basically huge chance of multiples. That, the cost of assisted conception and the fact 2 was all we ever wanted meant no.
However, I ended up conceiving naturally, huge gap, but only one child. Had TL at her birth, which the docs tried to talk me out of.

#81 Rosepickles

Posted 13 June 2019 - 07:33 AM

huge consideration for us. I value feeling secure and having a third would have made that more difficult to achieve. If we'd had more money and i knew i could have stayed home comfortably for an extended period then i would have considered 3.

What im realising is that even now, with daycare almost finished, the costs are still high for each child. I'm seeing how expensive lots of extra-curricular stuff is (which i know is a a choice) and can see how much more another would stretch us. We're in public schooling for now but would like the option to consider private if we thought it was best. Again, something that would be harder with another.

It's all so personal though. We're not rich, but doing ok and others would make different assessments of how a financial situation like ours would shape their choices. I'm very aware we could definitely afford more kids, it would just not be for me and what i want to cope with.

#82 Bam1

Posted 13 June 2019 - 07:58 AM

Money wasn't a factor for our 2nd - our wants are simple and we had our health so we knew we could cover whatever was required. 3rd was more of a consideration as it meant that regular trips to my DH's home country wouldn't be possible.

Timing was also an issue as we wanted to continue working and having 3 or more in CC would make that difficult.  But even bigger than that was could we cope with 3 - could we cope with 3 each on our own, would we still be able to parent equally, would one always have to be at work to cover the costs, etc.  I probably would have had even more than what we have now (5) if either of us wanted to be a SAHP but I didn't want another child if it came at the "expense" of only one of the parents.

#83 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 13 June 2019 - 08:10 AM

Yes, its a factor in having any of our children.

I think more about timing than amount of money.

For example, I waited til we both had full time permanent jobs and had worked a couple of years in these jobs before having our first child. Im in an industry with a lot of contract / casual work so Im not talking about straight out of high school or uni.

Im glad I had a buffer of money behind me in case we had any disasters.

Other things like private school or holidays don't worry me so much.

#84 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 13 June 2019 - 08:12 AM

View Postblueskies12, on 12 June 2019 - 07:38 PM, said:

I think it is simplistic to think it's people's values. I don't think I value money/materialism over a bigger family. I do value security.

Exactly the same here. I grew up with sick parents who couldn't work.
It was much more important to me to have 2 people both with secure jobs, than the amount of money earned by those 2 people.

#85 sandy34

Posted 13 June 2019 - 01:00 PM

Definitely. We're fairly well off, and realistically we could afford #3. However, we couldn't afford a third and retain the lifestyle we want. We'd already placed #1 in private school which, for us, has meant the same for #2. For us, it came down to, if we really wanted another baby, we could but we don't want to sacrifice lifestyle therefore we don't really want another baby.

#86 **Xena**

Posted 13 June 2019 - 01:34 PM

It probably should have been but it wasn't really at all. No regrets and I'd have a 6th if I could. It's health that's finally made me stop ;) :)

We have a low income but we have never had too many issues with affording what we need. I'd never send my kids to a private school so I've never had to worry about how much that would cost and our mortgage is quite small. I didn't find kid #2 much more expensive than having 1 child and I don't find 5 much more than 2 except for travel. When we travel we just tend to go for budget accommodation options haha.

Edited by **Xena**, 13 June 2019 - 03:51 PM.

#87 eilca

Posted 13 June 2019 - 01:53 PM

I was never going to have more than two because I knew that was my personal coping limit.  Money did not come into it.

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