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14yo moving in to granny flat


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#1 2B1G

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:25 PM

Would you allow your 14.5 year old DS to move into a shed converted to granny flat. It is detached from house, around 5m from back door to granny flat.

Other info... 2 adults & 6 children in 4 bedroom house. This would allow DS14 to have his own space, he would be expected to eat with the family as normal.

#2 Tinky Winky Woo

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:36 PM

No.  It could be used as a place to hang out but sleep inside, and be part of the family for at least part of the day

#3 robhat

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:36 PM

Probably not. Seems a little young to me. It'd depend a bit though on the dynamics between all the kids. I'd be more inclined to set the granny flat up as a fun hobby/play space so that there is a space to relax in and be away from the crowd, but keep everyone in sleeping together.

#4 ~J_WTF~

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:41 PM

I would be fine with that.

#5 gatheringpieces

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:41 PM

I would be OK with it, but feel there might be a better way to use the space for all?

And, what happens when the next kid gets to 15? Are they going to expect their own private domain?

#6 WTF*A*Lot

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:41 PM

It would depend on the ages of all the other children as well for me.

#7 wilding

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:47 PM

I would be fine with it, but I slept in a sleepout attached to the garage growing up.

#8 2B1G

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:48 PM

Other kids are 13, 11, 9, 9, 7.
14, 11, 9 are mine. 13, 9, 7 are partners kids. All get along most of the time.
Living area in granny flat is for everyone and used as a rumpus.

Edited by 2B1G, 11 June 2019 - 09:52 PM.


#9 Sancti-claws

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:49 PM

I think that that makes sense - it sounds rather crowded and he is of the age when a bit of privacy is sought...

#10 Jenflea

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:49 PM

7 other people in the house? I'd let him IF I could trust him to not vanish to a mate's house or party without telling me.

A friend of mine and her sister lived in a caravan in the backyard for over a year at a similar age due to the same sized family in a tiny 3 bedroom govie house.

We'll probably build a granny flat for DD when she's older(only 9 now!).

#11 FuzzyChocolateToes

Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:55 PM

I wouldn't put my 14yo in a granny flat. I can imagine that other kids would be fine though.

#12 EsmeLennox

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:15 PM

View Post2B1G, on 11 June 2019 - 09:25 PM, said:

Would you allow your 14.5 year old DS to move into a shed converted to granny flat. It is detached from house, around 5m from back door to granny flat.

Other info... 2 adults & 6 children in 4 bedroom house. This would allow DS14 to have his own space, he would be expected to eat with the family as normal.

No.

#13 JRA

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:35 PM

the sleeping to me is not the issue, but how will other things work, home work, and just general life

#14 lizzzard

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:37 PM

Its not the age that would worry me really, but the impact on the dynamics within the family. If he was in Yr 12 and needed the quiet space to study in his last year at school, it might be different. As PPs have said, what happens when the next oldest gets to 14.5 and says 'I want my own granny flat' ?

#15 Freddie'sMum

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:44 PM

No.  Look I understand a 14 year old wanting privacy (I have a 14 year old DD here) but I would use the granny flat as either a hangout space for anyone who needed it OR a dedicated "homework" space.

I would want ALL the kids to be in the house for sleeping.

#16 amdirel

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:46 PM

No I wouldn't. But I would make sure it's well set up to hang out in. Maybe set it up aimed at teens, and keep some kind of toy room or similar inside aimed at the younger ones.

#17 Caribou

Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:49 PM

16+ yes. 14. No. I don’t think he’d be ready for that level of independence. Though I can understand why you’d consider the idea.

It does really boil down to how much you can trust him to get himself sorted in mornings for school. It would be crap to go daily to remind him to get on with it and out the door for school.

What if the 13yo shared too?

#18 red_squirrel

Posted 11 June 2019 - 11:04 PM

Yes. I’d be fine with that.
By 14 you need your own space. Even if it means partitioning rooms and they end up quite small.

#19 Oriental lily

Posted 11 June 2019 - 11:17 PM

I would be fine with that . I have 5 kids though and already we are thinking of creative ways in the future for them all to have their  own space . DH is very very slowly turning our garage in to another living space and I am sure it will be utilised by one of the kids as they get older .

#20 WTF*A*Lot

Posted 12 June 2019 - 07:25 AM

If as you say that the living area in the granny flat is used as a rumpus room, then no I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Provided said child knows that the others are still allowed to use that area, and meal times are with the family.
I would also set the rule that any visitors are to make it known to an adult inside that they are there. Just in case there is an emergency.

#21 MrsLexiK

Posted 12 June 2019 - 07:43 AM

DH and his brother wouldn’t have been that much older (so his brother about that age) when they moved into the garage (converated) into 2 bedrooms. They lived 3 teens, 1 child 2 adults 1 tiny kitchen and living/dinning area. I think the plan has been to extend when they moved but something happened financially so they couldn’t.

#22 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 12 June 2019 - 07:51 AM

Can two sleep out there? I would be more worried about possible break ins and home invasions. I was on a jury case for one that happened in a safe suburb. Stuff like that can happen anywhere today.

#23 Manicmum

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:02 AM

No, I think it’s too isolating.

#24 Octopodes

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:11 AM

I would be fine with my own child in that situation. He is only 12 now, but I can't see him changing enough for it to become an issue in 2 years time. He is mostly a rule follower. If anything, he'd complain about being lonely out there by himself (extrovert).

#25 seayork2002

Posted 12 June 2019 - 09:02 AM

My own child as he is now in 3 years yes we might do (hypothetically), at the first sign of trouble he would have to move back immediately.

It depends on the child




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