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14yo moving in to granny flat


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#26 Crooked Frame

Posted 12 June 2019 - 09:21 AM

Depends on the kid, but generally yes I think that would work. There'd need to be guidelines around not isolating himself and still spending time with the family, but otherwise all good.

#27 Soontobegran

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:04 AM

No, not at 14.

None of my 14 year old children would have wanted to either, they preferred bunking up with their siblings.

I think it depends on your 14 year old OP but I think it has the potential to isolate that child.

16 years yes.....but there'd be a lock on the side gate.

#28 SeaPrincess

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:12 AM

When I was 14, I’d have loved to! As a parent, I understand why my parents weren’t keen.

OP, does he actually want to move into the granny flat?

#29 seayork2002

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:14 AM

View PostSeaPrincess, on 12 June 2019 - 10:12 AM, said:

When I was 14, I’d have loved to! As a parent, I understand why my parents weren’t keen.

OP, does he actually want to move into the granny flat?

That is a very good point, if my son requested it first and gave us a 'business plan' mature discussion on why then yes.

I would not consider it at all if he did not want too and he would have to ask us first, not the other way around

#30 2B1G

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:16 AM

A few things to think about.
DS wants to move out there, he is well aware that only the bedroom would be his space. All meals would be eaten in the house and he doesn't get to become a recluse. He has shown himself to be resposible/trustworthy so far.

#31 Mrs Claus

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:21 AM

My DD moved into a caravan when she was 14. It’s right off our back deck though and I can hear her door opening/closing from our bedroom. It’s really no different to if we’d built another room there (which was the original plan)

Same rules apply as when she was in the house

#32 rainne

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:23 AM

I would, assuming that means the 13 year old also gets their own room for the first time? And that the kids are trustworthy types? You could have some sort of system for checking in on him in the evening/at night to make sure he's still there.

Alternatively, could you turn it into two bedrooms and give them to the 14 and 13 year olds, meaning you now have three bedrooms inside for the remaining four kids? That gives you flexibility to decide which two share, depending on preference/age/sex, and nobody's out in the garden on their own.

(This assumes that the two oldest won't egg each other on, of course)

#33 2B1G

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:24 AM

View PostMrs Claus, on 12 June 2019 - 10:21 AM, said:

My DD moved into a caravan when she was 14. It’s right off our back deck though and I can hear her door opening/closing from our bedroom. It’s really no different to if we’d built another room there (which was the original plan)

Same rules apply as when she was in the house

My bedroom is at the back of the house, I would hear him opening the door or side gate.

#34 waawa17

Posted 12 June 2019 - 12:39 PM

No problem here. I'm frankly very surprised my teenger hasn't asked to move out to the shed yet.

#35 Chapvane

Posted 12 June 2019 - 07:50 PM

You could trial it.
Lay the ground rules and state it’s a trial initially.
If said child doesn’t comply with your ground rules then they can move back to the house.
For me it would be 16+ BUT with that many kids in the house I can see why you are considering it.



#36 eve13

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:03 PM

I did something similar as a teenager (so 20+ years ago or so) , on a farm.. moved into small hut about 30m from house.. so no longer shared a room with younger sister. Loved it, behaved myself... I think it is a great idea.. it is all about relative risk.
You know the area, your child, your hearing re ‘adventures’..
I would consider both kids closest in age though, maybe

#37 Mrs Claus

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:05 PM

View PostChapvane, on 12 June 2019 - 07:50 PM, said:

You could trial it.
Lay the ground rules and state it’s a trial initially.
If said child doesn’t comply with your ground rules then they can move back to the house.
For me it would be 16+ BUT with that many kids in the house I can see why you are considering it.

We did this. Basically her room was being used by someone else so if she messed up she’d be on the lounge room floor

#38 Drat

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:21 PM

It would be a no from me at that age, too young. We have a granny flat and wouldn't consider letting the girls move in there until 18.

#39 justbreath

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:42 PM

What gender is the 13 year old?

#40 sarahec

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:48 PM

As long as it had a smoke alarm I would be fine with that.

#41 a letter to Elise.

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:54 PM

No. Mainly because I know what I would have been up to at that age, but also because I think it could be quite isolating and lonely

#42 Etta

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:56 PM

View PostLostandheartbroken, on 12 June 2019 - 08:42 PM, said:

What gender is the 13 year old?

Mmm - OP has already said DS. But why is this relevant?

#43 LittleMissPink

Posted 12 June 2019 - 08:59 PM

Nope. Not for us.

#44 bubskitkat

Posted 12 June 2019 - 09:02 PM

Depending on how the 13 yr & 14 yr get along, I would look at moving them both out there. This would be dependent on behaviour of course,

#45 justbreath

Posted 12 June 2019 - 09:04 PM

View PostEtta, on 12 June 2019 - 08:56 PM, said:



Mmm - OP has already said DS. But why is this relevant?

I thought the DS was 14 years old and the 13 year old was her partners child. The reason for asking gender is whether the 13 year old could be out there too in the living area. I personally don’t think I’d want two non related siblings of opposite genders (who presumably haven’t grown up together since a very young age) sharing... You may recall the 14yo who fell pregnant to who step brother earlier this year in the news?

ETA it was actually a 12 year old who had a baby with her 14to step brother https://www.thesun.c...y-step-brother/

Edited by Lostandheartbroken, 12 June 2019 - 09:05 PM.


#46 opethmum

Posted 12 June 2019 - 09:19 PM

To be honest I would have the two eldest out in the granny flat because that would bring a peace and if you are just combining families putting your own DS out there will be seen as favouritism and will bite you in the bum and will bring about an us and them mentality.

I would actually write out a "lease agreement"  with them and set out the expectations of living in the granny flat and serious infractions will result in termination of the lease and be inside the main house and be requisitioned in another way.

I think by signing the lease agreement that this will encourage responsibility and accountability. You can stipulate whatever conditions you and your partner want e.g. dinner time. sibling hangout time etc.

#47 2B1G

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:13 PM

View PostLostandheartbroken, on 12 June 2019 - 09:04 PM, said:



I thought the DS was 14 years old and the 13 year old was her partners child. The reason for asking gender is whether the 13 year old could be out there too in the living area. I personally don’t think I’d want two non related siblings of opposite genders (who presumably haven’t grown up together since a very young age) sharing... You may recall the 14yo who fell pregnant to who step brother earlier this year in the news?

13yo is partners son. Having them share wouldn't work, they would drive each other crazy.
My son was the one that asked if he could move out there, he is not being pushed out of the house.

Smoke alarms are installed.

He is only here every second week. At his dad's he shares a room with his little brother as well.

#48 Chocolate Addict

Posted 12 June 2019 - 10:28 PM

My 14yo wouldn't want to do that but I can't see a problem if yours does. It is only another bedroom, they aren't going to be set up as a separate house or anything.

#49 123tree

Posted 12 June 2019 - 11:51 PM

I would.  He isn’t that young. When I was a teenager friends were starting apprenticeships at 16 and moving out of home. He won’t be far away.

#50 kiwimum2b

Posted 13 June 2019 - 04:30 AM

After updates and having a large family myself, yes I would.
It sounds like you’ve sorted/planned everything out so at least give it a go.





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