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14yo moving in to granny flat

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#51 2B1G

Posted 13 June 2019 - 08:20 AM

View Post123tree, on 12 June 2019 - 11:51 PM, said:

I would.  He isn’t that young. When I was a teenager friends were starting apprenticeships at 16 and moving out of home. He won’t be far away.

I moved out of home at 16, and to a different state at 17.

I think we will give it a go in a few months when the weather warms up. Gives me time to sort out a few things and not worry about heating just yet.

#52 ipsee

Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:13 AM

I had a friend in late high school who lived with her older brother in a caravan out the back and they got up to all sorts. It put me off the idea. I would try to keep a tight rein on it - don't let it turn into his little private party domain.

#53 Sentient Puddle

Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:22 AM

It would be a yes for me if the agreement meant that he didn't spend all of his time alone in the granny flat.  We have a granny flat and DS and his mates stay out in it when he has friends around.  He is also 14 and I trust him to mostly do the right thing.  He will be able to apply for a job later this year and take on more responsibility.  

I finished HSC when I was 16 and went to Uni at 17 and had a job and a car and life.  I cant fathom people saying that they would make their child wait until they were 18 to move to the granny flat.

#54 Gonzy

Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:37 AM

Yep I would.  We actually did consider this option for my 14.5 year old son.  In the end though we have decided to extend our home and so that's underway, but the granny flat or demountable was a very real option for us at the time.

You know your son OP and so you know if you can trust him with the detached from the house space :)

#55 born.a.girl

Posted 13 June 2019 - 10:53 AM

It's a bit hard to say without knowing the ins and outs of all of the dynamics, which is unrealistic.

There's no way my daughter would have wanted to, so it's hard for me to imagine her being that independent as a 14 yo, but if he's asked, then you're half way to the decision.

I do love the idea of having an agreement with him, so that he has to fulfill his half of the bargain.

Does that bedroom every get used now by visitors? Would he have to accommodate that still happening during his 'away' weeks?

#56 MsLaurie

Posted 14 June 2019 - 06:05 PM

How are the three kids bedrooms divided up currently, and how would moving the eldest into the flat change those arrangements?
Are the current bedrooms large? Is there scope to physically divide them into additional smaller rooms?

#57 countrychic29

Posted 14 June 2019 - 08:01 PM

depends on the child,
I lived in our pool house from when I was around 15/16 (can’t remember) it was about 30m from main house under a walkway
I still spent most time in the main house with family meals etc - but did my homework, got ready,  slept etc in pool house - I wasn’t allowed to have my bf in there at the time.
Didn’t harm me and I loved the ‘freedom’ but I wasn’t a sneaky teenager I was too scared of getting in trouble

#58 **Xena**

Posted 16 June 2019 - 09:38 PM

My 15, 13 and 11yo will be moving into a granny flat that's separate to our house as soon as we finish it. I personally am okay with it because they are very responsible and there will be more than one of them out there.

#59 kadoodle

Posted 01 July 2019 - 11:49 AM

My 14yo DS sleeps in his tent outside when the weather’s nice, and we’re building him a loft bedroom in the shed. He’s mostly well behaved, but we’re too far out of town for him to get up to any mischief anyway.

#60 nom_de_plume

Posted 02 July 2019 - 08:44 AM

I don’t think I would, because of the ages of the kids and blended family dynamic in this case.

If there was a larger age gap, I could understand the older child needing their space, but they’re all fairly close in age. What happens when the next one turns 14, and then the 11yo shortly after?

I think given some of the kids are there all the time and some only fortnightly, it could be creating an ‘us and them’ situation, whereby the kids who are only there fortnightly feel lesser than.

I think a better idea is to set it up as a teenagers retreat, where the older kids can go to study, listen to loud music, chill or hangout with their friends away from the younger kids, and keep the shared bedrooms within the house. That way it’s fair for everyone.

#61 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 02 July 2019 - 03:28 PM

View PostKiwi Bicycle, on 12 June 2019 - 07:51 AM, said:

Can two sleep out there? I would be more worried about possible break ins and home invasions. I was on a jury case for one that happened in a safe suburb. Stuff like that can happen anywhere today.

This is it for me

#62 3frogs4u

Posted 03 January 2020 - 01:42 PM

Yes i would be ok with that.
We are looking at a studio type thing for our place intially as a teen retreat but eventually im thinking dd will move in there. She can cook and does her own washing so i wouldnt have an issue. More the keeping it clean part.
I would have rules though - keep it clean or else.
Other than that i dont see an issue

#63 steppy

Posted 03 January 2020 - 05:39 PM

I'd be ok but there'd be rules and if he broke them he'd go back to sharing and the next kid would get the granny flat.

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