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Parent teacher interviews - do your kids go with you?


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#1 Lallalla

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:06 PM

Do you actively  take your kids with you or actively not take them with you or are you not bothered whether they are with you or not? Why or why not?

I’ve just booked our first one and I have no idea what the done thing is these days. I don’t remember going to any with my mother about me. After school care is still open at the time I have booked (and she goes anyway) so I don’t need to make other arrangements to not take her

#2 smilinggirl

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:11 PM

It depends on how your school runs them. Ours are three way interviews so teacher/parent/child. In the days leading up to the interview, the child writes/draws what they want to work on improving that coming term and that is discussed at the interview inc whatever else gets bought up by any of the parties.

#3 yumbao

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:13 PM

Ours are called three way conferences rather than parent/teacher interviews and actively involve the kids...

#4 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:15 PM

Ours do 3 way interviews. I can see the benefit for older primary aged kids but it completely went over my preppie DS's head what it was about. I also wanted to talk about issues I really didn't need him to hear as he gets affected by negative talk about him. I took DH along and sent both out of the room at the end to talk for a few more minutes about that.

It wasn't a thing when I went to school as a kid in NZ and my nephews and niece who are in school in NZ don't do it either.

#5 seayork2002

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:17 PM

This year DS did as it was 'three way' new thing

Normally no I have never taken him before.

Not sure what ill be happening in high school

#6 ali-song

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:20 PM

Ours are three way conferences, which I find utterly useless. It’s 15 minutes of the child showing you their work while you try to ask in discreet ways if they’re on track and if there’s anything to be concerned about. Bring back old school parent teacher conferences!

#7 Jenflea

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:22 PM

Our school does the three way thing and I dislike it.

They also want us (parent and student) to sign a print out on what the student needs to work on during the year and how we as parents are going to help them through out the year.

They're under 18 they can't sign anything legally and my poor DD was almost in tears this year as she felt really pressured by the (new to her) teacher.

One glorious year we didn't have to sign anything but I think we got lucky with her year 2 teacher.

#8 Jenflea

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:23 PM

Oh and because they're held in like week 3 of term 1 the kids have no idea what they'll be learning in the year so have no idea what they need to work on.

DD said "multiplication and maths' or something.

#9 chicken_bits

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:25 PM

Ask how the school runs theirs.

When I was a teacher, we had 3 way conferences.

As a parent, ours are parent/teacher.

#10 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:26 PM

Senior school the kids are expected to attend and it is more the teacher giving direct feedback to student.

Junior school we don’t bring our kids unless it is a requirement like the three way conference referred to above.

#11 wilding

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:28 PM

Mine had no choice but to tag along as I had no one to mind him back when he was in primary, but he would play with the other children that were there aswell.

Edited by wilding, 19 June 2019 - 02:29 PM.


#12 MarigoldMadge

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:29 PM

Ours are 3 way and 10 mins. I was dubious at first, but DD really engages.

If there's something more to discuss not in front of the child, we're encouraged to make a seperate appt, on another day, for longer than 10 mins and in more private setting.

#13 seayork2002

Posted 19 June 2019 - 02:30 PM

View PostJenflea, on 19 June 2019 - 02:23 PM, said:

Oh and because they're held in like week 3 of term 1 the kids have no idea what they'll be learning in the year so have no idea what they need to work on.

DD said "multiplication and maths' or something.

Yeah ours are now in about week 3 (or so of T1) used to be at the end of T2

#14 Fourteenyears

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:25 PM

I leave my kids behind and probably wouldn’t bother attending at all if they were three way.  

I want to talk about my kid at parent teacher interviews, not to them(I can do that any time), or in front of them.

Edited by Fourteenyears, 19 June 2019 - 03:25 PM.


#15 Lou-bags

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:30 PM

I’ve only had one for DS1 (first year of compulsory schooling- Pre school here in WA) and while I did take him, he was sent to play in another room with a TA. I would have not taken him if it hadn’t been right before school and with no other options for him.

#16 Lou-bags

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:34 PM

View PostFourteenyears, on 19 June 2019 - 03:25 PM, said:

I leave my kids behind and probably wouldn’t bother attending at all if they were three way.  

I want to talk about my kid at parent teacher interviews, not to them(I can do that any time), or in front of them.

Also this. I don’t talk to my kids teachers and carers about them in front of them- they both hate it and have done from very young.

And how could I discuss my concerns in front of my kid?

#17 mayahlb

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:39 PM

I’m so glad my kids school doesn’t do them. They are “optional”. As in you get an email around half way through term 2 saying anyone who wants to have a chat with the teacher please email and make an appointment for a meeting. Which reminds me I am due to have one with my oldest kids teacher, mainly to see how he’s tracking as he has learning difficulties and reports are very broad.

#18 born.a.girl

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:40 PM

Yuck, first I've heard of this, and don't like the sound of it.

I found parent teacher interviews briefly covered the positives, but mainly focused on the areas needing improvement, and how that could be achieved.  I didn't need my kid to hear me talk mainly about the negatives of their learning achievements.

#19 Mollycoddle

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:43 PM

View Postsmilinggirl, on 19 June 2019 - 02:11 PM, said:

It depends on how your school runs them. Ours are three way interviews so teacher/parent/child. In the days leading up to the interview, the child writes/draws what they want to work on improving that coming term and that is discussed at the interview inc whatever else gets bought up by any of the parties.

We have both.  One term it's the 3-way then the next term it's parents only.  Then we have Learning Journeys where all the parents can turn up either before or after school to wander around and be shown the work.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 19 June 2019 - 03:44 PM.


#20 Mollycoddle

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:45 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 19 June 2019 - 03:40 PM, said:

Yuck, first I've heard of this, and don't like the sound of it.

I found parent teacher interviews briefly covered the positives, but mainly focused on the areas needing improvement, and how that could be achieved.  I didn't need my kid to hear me talk mainly about the negatives of their learning achievements.

It's not about positives and negatives, it's about what you are doing well and what you might need a bit of help with/to improve upon.  The latter doesn't have to be seen as a negative.  Kids can actually benefit from being involved.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 19 June 2019 - 03:47 PM.


#21 born.a.girl

Posted 19 June 2019 - 03:56 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 19 June 2019 - 03:45 PM, said:

It's not about positives and negatives, it's about what you are doing well and what you might need a bit of help with/to improve upon.  The latter doesn't have to be seen as a negative.  Kids can actually benefit from being involved.

Mine wouldn't have though.

Mind you, her teacher for two years in primary would not have helped.

Perhaps they're presented differently from the way they were then.

#22 CallMeFeral

Posted 19 June 2019 - 04:11 PM

Ours are parent teacher, and we are specifically discouraged from having the kids come along.

Which I like. There's also an open day where they get to show us their stuff, separate from that.

#23 Kreme

Posted 19 June 2019 - 04:12 PM

I’ve only done primary school level so far and mostly they’ve been just parent and teacher. Last year DD’s yr 6 teacher insisted on a 3 way conference and it was a waste of time. When they only give you 10 minutes I want to speak frankly and get to the point about how they are doing, which is much easier when it is just 2 adults.

#24 seayork2002

Posted 19 June 2019 - 04:17 PM

View PostKreme, on 19 June 2019 - 04:12 PM, said:

I’ve only done primary school level so far and mostly they’ve been just parent and teacher. Last year DD’s yr 6 teacher insisted on a 3 way conference and it was a waste of time. When they only give you 10 minutes I want to speak frankly and get to the point about how they are doing, which is much easier when it is just 2 adults.

Yes, as I mentioned in PP we have only had the one 3 way one, I don't mind DS hearing what the teachers says as such but I don't think he actually got anything out of being there.

it was for only 10 mins and if he was not there I felt the teacher and I could have got to the point quicker like in previous years without my son there.

The teacher see my son every day at school, I don't see the teacher every day so  I would assume he would already know more than me from the teacher anyway?

#25 71Cath

Posted 19 June 2019 - 04:24 PM

I've always been pretty adamant that it was a discussion between me and the teacher about the kids progress.  But this year DD was mucking about and I called her bluff and she came with me (year 10).  She actually got a lot out of it, the teachers talked directly to her about their expectations and where she needed to work harder.

I think I'm a convert to the kids attending - especially in the senior years.




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