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Tips for sleep routine with 2.5 yo and newborn

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#1 MwahMum

Posted 24 June 2019 - 09:27 PM

Dd 2.5 yrs likes to be patted, touched, held to sleep. I do too.

But it takes anywhere up to an hour to help her get to sleep. Which was okay and I was happy doing.

We now have DS, 4 weeks old. Dad is currently on leave, wo he's managing the toddler bedtime, while I'm solely focused on the baby.

We're conscious that when he goes back to work (incl. some night shifts) I'll be managing sleep time on my own.

Tell me how you juggle your little ones. Any helpful tips, or things to avoid?

I'd really like to avoid another one of DP's experiments like tonight's 30 minute cry it out session. (DD is still sobbing in her sleep)...

#2 Lou-bags

Posted 24 June 2019 - 09:33 PM

I just continued to lay with my DS1 when DH couldn’t be there. Often DS2 would be asleep in the bassinet- or Id have to sometimes pop in and out to resettle him, and other times I’d sit with DS1 in his bed and hold or feed DS2. It was fine.

They’re 5 and 2 now (getting closer to 6 and 3) and I still lay with them both. I am laying with them right now. One of each side, every night. Mostly me, sometimes DH. We pushed their beds together to facilitate this. It works.

I’m sure you’ll find something that works for your family too. Try not to stress too much, and good luck (and congrats on your newest addition).

Edited by Lou-bags, 24 June 2019 - 09:34 PM.

#3 Future-self

Posted 24 June 2019 - 10:01 PM

I did many different things at different stages depending on timing.

In the early time DD would cluster feed from 5pm to 7ish and then nap for an hour which was perfect as I could put DS to sleep while she was napping, fit in a shower and then feed her and put her down for the night properly. That was great so see if you can get your DS to do that ;)

I had a bassinet on wheels so sometimes I fed newborn DD in DS’s room while he lay in his bed -! Then Id put DD down, lay with DS and then  wheel her out in to our room next door once he’d fallen asleep.

Sometimes he would be too distracted by DD being there though so  DS would be allowed to watch the ipad in his room while I fed DD and got her down in her room in perfect timing for me to then go in and lie with DS.

When DD was a bit older and more predictable her bedtime was first and DS became a bit better at playing trains or animals or doing a puzzle while I put her down and then it was his turn.

Go with it, now is not the time for cry it  out or huge changes I agree. You do whatever keeps the calm and everyone getting to sleep however less than “perfect parenting” it looks. An ipad and jatz snack kept us sane for a few months there

#4 AdelTwins

Posted 24 June 2019 - 10:22 PM

Does your daughter have a sleep aid? E.g snuggly toy that plays white noise? Nightlight?

At that age we started to leave the room to “check email, dishwasher, etc” then come back after 1 min. Increase time taken to check stuff each night. Always come back. Eventually they will fall asleep.

Edited by AdelTwins, 24 June 2019 - 10:24 PM.

#5 theboys2

Posted 25 June 2019 - 01:45 PM

i had a DS 2yrs and a new born and I use to sit with DS1 in his room while he went to sleep and just fed DS2 during that time.

Over time when DS2 came a little more distracted during feeds i think i slowly moved to the doorway on a chair so that neither disrupted each other. sometimes DS1 would fall asleep before DS2 was finished and i would move away other times i would just quickly bought DS2 to bed if had fallen asleep and come back to DS1 door.

Worked well for me.

#6 AllyK81

Posted 25 June 2019 - 02:06 PM

Reward chart for the 2.5 year old to get her to sleep by herself?

#7 Kattikat

Posted 25 June 2019 - 08:26 PM

I just boobed newborn until 2.5 ds dropped off to sleep, then snuck out. Once I had put newborn down on rug on floor in DS room while reading him books, then he got off to sleep, then I snuck out as usual and went and sat on couch to celebrate bedtime... Then remembered I had left newborn on the floor in DS room! So maybe don't do that bit.

#8 MwahMum

Posted 23 July 2019 - 11:04 PM

Am glad to return to this post.

Have lost my cool with th 2 yo a couple of times, for not being quiet and waking up 8 wo who was on cusp of sleep. On a number of occasions.

Re-reading responses, I will focus more on the 2 yo first.

Any other suggestions I can take on board to help me not lose it if she disrupts / doesn't listen? I feel like I'm starting to set a bad example and lose my sense of humour at bedtime.

2 yo doesn't have a comforter. Never took to one...

#9 MwahMum

Posted 23 July 2019 - 11:07 PM

Future-Self, jatz snack would work, if we weren't already concerned about her diet

Adeltwins, yes, the "just checking on the xyz" ruse works atm

#10 Future-self

Posted 29 July 2019 - 02:41 PM

Sorry you’re having a rough time, it really is a hard period when they are both so small and just so damn needy!

other than ipad or tv would a special box of toys that only gets bought out at bedtime be a winner? I had heard of such things being successful with others - i just found the ipad easier and less thought or effort   But new little things in it every week, she gets to play with what’s in it when you’re tending to the baby, a real novelty factor might help?

#11 purpleblaze

Posted 29 July 2019 - 09:57 PM

Agree that you should work on the 2yr old.

No help on the reaction to her not being quiet but in regards to her sleep I think you need to remove the patted/touched/held to sleep.  Obviously do this in phases and do a little less each time.  She needs to learn to self settle.  I learnt pretty quickly with DS1 that my priority was to get him to self settle rather than have him rely on me being there.

I started by patting the mattress (he was 6 or 7 months and in a cot), no eye contact or engagement.  After a couple of weeks of that I just sat in his room not too close to the cot, again no eye contact or engagement.  Then did the pop in every couple of minutes.  This stretched out until I didn't have to keep coming into the room to settle him.

With DS2 I got a sleep consultant in for a night when he was 5 months old to "train" him to self settle.  Worked a treat. The night the consultant was there it took 2.5 hours for him to fall asleep.  Night 2 took 15 minutes.  Within 3 or 4 weeks I'd pop him in his cot and walk out. Wish I did that for DD1.

At sleep school they told me "your job is to calm them down, their job is to fall asleep".  It stayed with me.  Good luck!

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