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Wedding dress cognitive dissonance

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#26 froglett

Posted 26 June 2019 - 11:20 AM

Congrats OP :) Go both dresses - the frothy wonder for ceremony and perhaps part of the reception and then use the other one as your dancing / leaving dress!

#27 Ferelsmegz

Posted 26 June 2019 - 11:25 AM

Do what you want.

Also please get footage of you taking out the rello. :rofl:

#28 Silverstreak

Posted 26 June 2019 - 11:28 AM

Buy the dress that makes you happy. I am a no frills kinda gal and I ended up wearing a tiara on my wedding day and feeling awesome.

#29 ContentedFleur

Posted 26 June 2019 - 11:32 AM

I would point out that both the Duchess of Sussex and the Duchess of Cambridge wore two wedding dresses. You are on trend!
also, photos?

#30 RichardParker

Posted 26 June 2019 - 11:55 AM

**** I love wedding gowns.  On my wedding day I forgot that I'm not actually a Scandinavian Princess and wore a dress (and train) to rival Princess Mary's.

I also spent a lot of time in angst over my choice of wedding plans and it really was wasted.  Wear what you want and feel good in.

We're all sensible, independent feminists, except on our wedding day...

Edited by RichardParker, 26 June 2019 - 11:57 AM.

#31 Moukmouk

Posted 26 June 2019 - 12:09 PM

I might have seriously considered getting Princess Mary’s dress copied. I did wind up with a lot more beading and skirt than I had planned. And a veil! But it is lovely to wear something that you know suits you and makes you feel happy.

#32 Fourteenyears

Posted 26 June 2019 - 12:43 PM

I was going to wear something simple but tried on a great big foofy wedding dress just for a laugh.  In my lunch hour on a work day, by myself.

And honestly, it was like I was bashed over the head by the bridal fairy.  Before I knew it, money had changed hands, an order placed, and I was working back to work going ‘did that really happen’.

Wearing it was fun.  It wasn’t my life’s greatest fashion moment, but it was fun,  and weddings should be fun.

#33 Bethlehem Babe

Posted 26 June 2019 - 12:55 PM

Which do you put on and not want to take off?

Wear that one!

#34 CallMeFeral

Posted 26 June 2019 - 01:02 PM

You adore it.

It's your wedding.

There's nothing to decide.

#35 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 26 June 2019 - 01:33 PM

Need photos

And then still get both

#36 Jingleflea

Posted 26 June 2019 - 02:22 PM

You can be a feminist and still have a frothy gown. Because you have the CHOICE to do your wedding the way you want it done.

I regret not going a bit fussier but I'm too frugal to spend the money on one day, I just adore other people's weddings instead.
And watch every ep of Say Yes to the Dress on tv! And every other wedding dress show pretty much.

#37 Gonzy

Posted 26 June 2019 - 02:58 PM

Yes, another vote for wear both and also we need links.

There are also dresses people mention here I would love to see!  The one to rival Princess Mary - RichardParker's, BadCat's - anyone who wants to share theirs.

I have worn three wedding dresses.  First was traditional meringue style but very plain detail.  Second was for eloping in Las Vegas and I tried to emulate the 1950's style so think knee length white dress with a thick coat and third was not so meringue but did include some lace and other frou frou stuff.

My favourite wedding photos are hands down the Vegas ones with the $60 dress haha

#38 BeachesBaby

Posted 26 June 2019 - 05:10 PM

It is never ever too late for a beautiful ball gown! I wish you had shared pics, I also chose a gigantic ball gown, we were already legally married (for US immigration), and were having a second, religious ceremony, and while my first, courthouse wedding dress was a short, off white bridesmaid dress, my “second” wedding dress was enormous - it actually had hoops, multiple!! under the skirt, some of which I had to remove as you literally couldn’t stand within a meter of me.

You do your big white ball gown, congratulations on getting married, I hope you post pictures for us afterwards!

#39 IamtheMumma

Posted 26 June 2019 - 05:33 PM

Have one for the wedding and photos and the other for the reception. It used to be very common to have a going away outfit.

Get what makes you happy.

#40 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 26 June 2019 - 05:37 PM

My sister had the frou-frou gown for wedding/photos and beginning of reception, but then changed into a shorter simpler gown for reception dancing and departing.

Like PP have said use both.

#41 Freddie'sMum

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:08 PM


It will be DH and my 25 year wedding anniversary this year.  I liked my dress - I bought it off the rack from a department store and it wasn't a "proper bridal dress", it wasn't white or any shade of white.

I still feel sad about it because I didn't love it.  I thought I was too fat to get a proper bridal dress (I was a size 16 at the time).

So, please, for me, buy and wear the dress you love.

#42 Jelly Bee

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:12 PM

View PostWTFancie shmancie, on 25 June 2019 - 11:28 PM, said:

Agree with Bereckii - links to the dresses are definitely required.

Okay - here we go

Simple dress


Frothy dress


#43 Bethlehem Babe

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:17 PM

View PostJelly Bee, on 26 June 2019 - 06:12 PM, said:

Both are absolutely gorgeous!!

#44 400

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:25 PM

I love them both!

But since it’s not you in the photos (and I know how much I look very, very different in clothing than the model photos) I can’t comment on how they actually look on you. As a PP said, if two trusted friends told you that the first one was no good, I would very seriously take that on board. It’s hard to criticise someone in this situation unless it’s genuine honesty, so I worry that they are right.

As for the frothy one being out of character: don’t worry about other’s expectations or what anyone will think. If you feel amazing, everyone will think you look amazing. As others have said, getting married is literally the best excuse to overdo it!

I’m on team heart!

#45 DaLittleEd

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:32 PM

Oh, that first one is gorgeous.

#46 Froyohoho

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:39 PM

Another vote for both- ballgown for ceremony and mermaid for reception.

#47 Jelly Bee

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:51 PM

View PostBadCat, on 26 June 2019 - 06:25 AM, said:

Wear the one that makes you happy.

I wore a gold dress with green and gold embroidery and the groom wore a tux with a black and gold sash and a floor length black cape with gold lining.  Because we felt like it.

I don't regret the clothes at all.  The marriage is a whole other story...  :lol:

I respect that! I need to take a leaf out of my grooms book.... he fixated on wearing a pink linen suit and be damned the expense or the challenge of finding one! He has one and looks fantastic. I admire the conviction to treading one’s own path!

#48 MooGuru

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:54 PM

They are both gorgeous - I will say for the first one I suspect that may be a very unforgiving bodice area if there is any hint of not a supermodel weight.

#49 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:56 PM

View PostDaLittleEd, on 26 June 2019 - 06:32 PM, said:

Oh, that first one is gorgeous.

That has my vote too.

#50 Jelly Bee

Posted 26 June 2019 - 06:56 PM

View PostMooGuru, on 26 June 2019 - 06:54 PM, said:

They are both gorgeous - I will say for the first one I suspect that may be a very unforgiving bodice area if there is any hint of not a supermodel weight.

I think that was the issue. I do think my friends must have been right.... I was a bit cross at the time as I’d spent the money but they definitely wouldn’t have said it to be unkind

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