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Holding poo

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#1 gemmyloves

Posted 08 July 2019 - 01:36 AM

Hi all

Sorry for the long post but hoping for some advice, or some good news stories from those who have been through the same thing! I know there is another recent post similar to this but wondered if anyone has gone through this specific situation?

We put my just turned 3 year old DD into underpants about a week ago. She'd never shown a real interest in using the toilet but recently got excited about wearing undies, so is the reason why she has trained a bit late. I didn't want to rush her when she didn't seem overly motivated.

We used pull ups for about 6 months prior, and got her into the routine of doing wees in the morning and at various intervals throughout the day and before bed. I think we struggled to find something motivating enough for her to really want to do this, and initiate telling us when she needed to go. But since switching to undies keeping them dry has been motivating enough, she is so extremely proud and has had only a handful of wee accidents since we started. Only 1 at home (because I was on the phone!) and 1 at daycare in the last few days.

We are however, struggling massively with poos, and I'm not sure if I am jumping the gun given we are really only a little bit over a week in. It is obvious DD is trying to hold her poos in, but instead we are getting multiple, tiny poo accidents a day. Today was particularly trying and I am wondering whether I've pushed it too early. I have offered DD a pull up to poo, but she refuses and says she wears undies now. She is still wearing a pull up for naps and bed time, but now won't even do it in her pull up when we pop one on at night. I feel like she gets that she's not meant to just go in a pull up/undies now, but that she can't help it and also has some aversion to going on the toilet. She has done big, proper poos on the toilet before, back before we were officially training, so I know she is capable.

I guess it is frustrating but doesn't bother me too much. I will change those pooey undies all day long, but she goes to daycare 3 days a week and all they have said is they think she is scared to poo in their toilets, but one particular carer seemed annoyed by the poo accidents. I feel bad for them and pondered whether she should go back into pull ups, but her progress on wees has been so promising that I don't want to do that. I guess I feel bad for her carers more than anything.

DD herself recognises when she has an accident and will say something like, "I had a little accident, but poos go in the toilet, I don't want to get my undies dirty" and is pretty chuffed when we do manage to get one in there, but I'm at a loss as to how to actually solve the holding issue and small accidents. She has said the reason she does it is because she is scared the poo will touch her legs, which has stemmed from poo from her undies getting on her legs once, but she seems to now associate that whole experience with pooing in general. And of course the risk of getting poo on her legs is far worse if she has an accident but she doesn't understand that.

Has anyone else been through this? What has helped? Should we just stick it out? As said I am reluctant to put her back in pull ups but I am worried daycare is going to suggest it if we can't sort it soon.

She has her eye on a Peppa Pig nurse doll and we have said if she does plenty of poos then she will get it but I am worried a big reward is not really the answer. We cracked wees through stickers and a couple of Smarties for keeping undies dry all day, but she's not so phased now and stopped seeking the rewards pretty quickly.

#2 PooksLikeChristmas

Posted 08 July 2019 - 02:26 AM

Yes we have been through very similar. DD was severely constipated which was resulting in what looked like accidents, but was actually overflow. She had a lot of anxiety. We ended up putting her in nappies while treating the constipation and then once that was sorted, she would ask for a nappy after childcare to poo into. I obliged, her anxiety eventually settled and then we tried again.

#3 gemmyloves

Posted 08 July 2019 - 03:09 AM

Thanks Pooks, did putting your DD into nappies while sorting out her constipation set her back in wees at all?

I suspect DD is constipated but hubby is not so sure, he says you can hold but not be constipated but obviously one thing leads to another.

#4 SplashingRainbows

Posted 08 July 2019 - 04:33 AM

Kids get constipated easily.
I’d seek help form the GP for a stool softener.

A potty where her feet touch to floor to poo.

Sticker for sitting on the potty, not the result.

#5 *Melstar*

Posted 08 July 2019 - 08:49 AM

Classic signs of constipation, IMO. And the longer you leave it to treat it, the worse it gets. I'd see a GP and get a management plan for osmolax (you can buy over counter but I think managed by GP for first bout of constipation is better).

My DH didn't think it was constipation either... it's just so damn hard being right... all. The. Time. I made him take DS to the doctor - GP can tell if there's a full/hard bowel - so he could hear it all from the doctor first hand.

DS used to say, " I didn't feel it" before a small accident. And this is also correct because if you're constipated, everything stretches and all the usual toilet signs are off. Google constipation and encopresis.

We have to carefully watch water intake and output now on a regular basis. It's taken a year to have zero poo accidents. We didn't return to nappies fully whilst sorting it out, but did put a nappy on for rest/sleep during day and nappies at night, meaning there were times throughout the day where he could go in nappies.

#6 PooksLikeChristmas

Posted 08 July 2019 - 09:08 AM

View Postgemmyloves, on 08 July 2019 - 03:09 AM, said:

Thanks Pooks, did putting your DD into nappies while sorting out her constipation set her back in wees at all?

I suspect DD is constipated but hubby is not so sure, he says you can hold but not be constipated but obviously one thing leads to another.

No it didn’t, and it reduced her anxiety about the poo. It ended up being a really long drawn out process and she’s still very fearful of making a mess.

#7 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 08 July 2019 - 09:15 AM

Also helpful is sitting on the toilet for 10 minutes after each meal. Make sure she’s nice and relaxed, maybe let her do something like watch something on the iPad or read books to her.

#8 gemmyloves

Posted 08 July 2019 - 01:35 PM

Thank you all for your replies. I will definitely try some of those things we haven't already. I tried a placebo thing this morning from Jamie Glowacki called magic poop juice (literally just water but in a different cup), and it motivated her to go and try and do a poo but she couldn't.

And yes I thought it might be encopresis too, but because sometimes the accidents are quite big, I kind of disregarded it. I thought it was like, liquid leaking if that makes sense.

I have booked her in to see a GP tomorrow morning, will see how she gets on at daycare today also.

Just on some of the other comments, she likes using the big toilet with an insert over the potty, so I have been putting books on top of her stool so she can put her feet flat. She is a small 3 year old so I've never been able to find a step that she can reach. I did wonder whether we should go back to the potty but she wasn't a big fan.

#9 seayork2002

Posted 08 July 2019 - 01:38 PM

From the time DS showed and interest we gave him a book, so he just sat there reading (well looking at the pictures). we upped his fibre and left him too it

Edited by seayork2002, 08 July 2019 - 01:38 PM.

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