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Nervous of the Unknown

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#1 150watson

Posted 07 August 2019 - 10:27 AM

In my first pregnancy, my daughter was induced at 40+3 -

She wasnt ready, my belly never 'dropped', my waters were broken manually and one of the midwives messed up the IV Drip that triggers the contractions and I spent most of my Labour with a constant contraction that had no break .

So this is quite the opposite to a normal labour where you have contractions for timing, waters breaking spontaneously etc.

So imagine my worry about how this one will go.

I am currently 36+3 weeks pregnant.

My belly did the 'Drop' about a month ago. I am constantly getting the lightning pain, almost every 2 days. And I have heaps of movement. I have been in excrutiating back pain throughout this pregnancy, and have suffered more than a usual Pregnancy due to ongoing back troubles, and looking after and picking up my 18mth old without any help from my husband as he has been dealing with Cancer treatment all year.

But my fear is not knowing how this labour will go. I dont know what its like to spontaneously go into labour! I am very concerned about it all.

Has anyone else had this feeling?

#2 yule_maiden

Posted 07 August 2019 - 11:18 AM

Yes,  I had that feeling with 2nd.
I spoke it through with my midwives,  who included my partner in it all.  This helped.

My 2nd labour was different to my first in so many ways that I found it healing.
Pushing was still a trigger but my midwives and partner really came through for me.  I'm so grateful.

Talk about your fears etc with your midwives and partner/birth partner - be explicit in how you feel you would benefit from what types of support. And what you found awful in your first.

Good luck!!!

#3 Lou-bags

Posted 07 August 2019 - 12:26 PM

PP has great advice. I too found my second birth quite healing. I had the opposite to you- a spontaneous first labour and an induction for my second. Manual breaking of waters both times though.

Definitely talking to my OB about the specific things I found scary or painful or difficult etc about my first birth meant that we could do our best to mitigate those second time around. And it helped to say those things out loud and have them validated too.

All the very best with your upcoming birth. For most people (not all, I know, before anyone comes in to tell me how wrong I am), second births are waaaaaay better than first births.

#4 TheXmasSheep

Posted 07 August 2019 - 01:12 PM

Hi OP,

Your feelings are pretty normal. Whilst I didn't have a traumatic first birth, he came early and fast, so that was a concern second time. I certainly felt worried DS2 would be early as well, especially over the lack of control waiting for labour to start and how to sort out getting to hospital in time and whether or not Id have somebody to look after DS1.

In hindsight my fear and anxiety was through the roof, and when it actually started, I was so relieved!! As it turned out I went over dates and was already at the hospital for monitoring, my waters broke, DS1 was with his grandparents and I could relax and birth my baby. It was quicker and somehow better, in as much as I knew how much I would enjoy the baby at the end of birth. First time was so many unanswered questions, second time felt like a breeze for me.

All the best for you and your DHs treatment

#5 Mum-mumMum

Posted 07 August 2019 - 07:17 PM

My first was an induction with incredibly strong contractions from the drip and my second was middle of the night spontaneous a month early with delivery within 3 hours, the only type of delivery I hadn’t planned on! I was very panicked about the pushing but it worked out so well. Honestly, I think I would be nervous even if it was my 10th baby because each delivery is so different

#6 Islander

Posted 07 August 2019 - 07:46 PM

My second labour/birth was a very healing experience, like some PPs . It was so different and actually felt “normal”. I’m currently due with my third and have found the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin quite empowering. It must be such a scary time though, I hope your partner is doing as ok as possible. Remember to share your fears with someone-I found I needed someone else to be the strong one for my second labour/birth as my fears were so pervasive. Could that be your partner? Midwife? Doula type person?

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