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Who should pay?


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#51 Tokra

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:15 AM

View PostDadto2, on 08 August 2019 - 11:04 AM, said:

The parking ticket has all the info you need for paying the fine, web address, bpay details and the infringement number. So you could have paid it. If those details weren't there and you were relying on the details being sent to you and he didn't forward on the letter than he should pay the $220. If the ticket had the required information then you should pay the $220. Perhaps a compromise would be $110 each.

You've missed the part where the OP didn't actually receive the parking ticket.

#52 born.a.girl

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:16 AM

View PostDadto2, on 08 August 2019 - 11:04 AM, said:

The parking ticket has all the info you need for paying the fine, web address, bpay details and the infringement number. So you could have paid it. If those details weren't there and you were relying on the details being sent to you and he didn't forward on the letter than he should pay the $220. If the ticket had the required information then you should pay the $220. Perhaps a compromise would be $110 each.


She didn't get a parking ticket.

#53 EmmDasher

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:28 AM

View Postrosie28, on 08 August 2019 - 10:47 AM, said:

Seriously though, I come at this from a legal background. It’s his responsibility to pay it legally, having not taken the opportunity to nominate another person at fault. That said, “but for” your actions the fine wouldn’t exist in the first place. I think you paying the original $75, or at most 50% of the total outstanding, is fair in those circumstances.

I get that. Not every answer is purely legal though. Sometimes it’s morally/ethically or as a decent person do X even if you’re not legally obliged to.

If you did it, you pay for it. You’re talking about sliding out of your obligations because of a technicality and taking advantage of someone else’s stuff up to avoid responsibility for your own actions. You might want to do it to this particular person because they’re otherwise a bit of a d*ck but if this was a loved one or friend you wouldn’t do it to them and it’d make you mad if someone did it to them. It’s the difference between what you can do vs what you should do.

#54 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:45 AM

View PostDemera, on 08 August 2019 - 09:36 AM, said:

I think that as you incurred the fine, the whole thing is your responsibility to pay.  You would/should have known that you parked illegally, or overstayed the time limit. I don't think it's fair to say you didn't know about the fine just because you thought you'd got away with it, especially as he's the one who now has a suspended licence.  I think he's copping his fair share for not transferring the rego over.

No, I think it's reasonable to assume that the OP thought her ex would receive any fines at his address and pass them onto her, as, you know, the car was still in his name due to his own slackness.  Not her fault he didn't a) update his address with RTA and b) change the car into her name when he was required by a court to do so.  How could the OP have possibly found out about the fine unless he told her?  Sh*t happens, sometimes you get a parking fine if you get caught up and can't get back to the car to move it.  The OP should pay for the fine only, he pays for the administrative ****-up that was his part in it.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 08 August 2019 - 11:54 AM.


#55 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:54 AM

View PostEmmDasher, on 08 August 2019 - 11:28 AM, said:


If you did it, you pay for it. You’re talking about sliding out of your obligations because of a technicality and taking advantage of someone else’s stuff up to avoid responsibility for your own actions.

This statement applies even more to the OP's ex than it does to the OP.  Yes, she got the fine so she pays the $75.  The jump from $75 to $220 is totally on him - that's HIS stuff-up.  It seems pretty clear-cut to me as to who's responsible for what.

But obviously it comes down to how much the OP wants to keep the peace for the sake of the kids.

#56 born.a.girl

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:56 AM

View PostEmmDasher, on 08 August 2019 - 11:28 AM, said:

I get that. Not every answer is purely legal though. Sometimes it’s morally/ethically or as a decent person do X even if you’re not legally obliged to.

If you did it, you pay for it. You’re talking about sliding out of your obligations because of a technicality and taking advantage of someone else’s stuff up to avoid responsibility for your own actions. You might want to do it to this particular person because they’re otherwise a bit of a d*ck but if this was a loved one or friend you wouldn’t do it to them and it’d make you mad if someone did it to them. It’s the difference between what you can do vs what you should do.


How is she sliding out of her responsibilities when she's absolutely prepared to pay for the parking fine?

#57 Dianalynch

Posted 08 August 2019 - 11:58 AM

I’d just say ‘I’m happy to contribute $75 even though you didn’t transfer the fine to me at the time, we all make mistakes.’ I wouldn’t buy into his request for the whole amount, it’s silly, just say what you will do, you don’t have to explain or justify yourself.

#58 IamzFeralz

Posted 08 August 2019 - 12:07 PM

I would pay the whole lot, not because that’s what you deserve but because he is a difficult ex and I know what that is like.  You have to pick your battles. Let him win the ones that don’t matter and fight the ones that do (anything to do with your boundaries, safety,  child welfare etc.). Just see it as a cost of the financial split and a step further away from past links with him.

You want to keep smaller things out of court as much as you can until the kids are 18 and see it as a long game.

#59 EmmDasher

Posted 08 August 2019 - 12:37 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 08 August 2019 - 11:54 AM, said:



This statement applies even more to the OP's ex than it does to the OP.  Yes, she got the fine so she pays the $75.  The jump from $75 to $220 is totally on him - that's HIS stuff-up.  It seems pretty clear-cut to me as to who's responsible for what.


It’s not clear cut. She said she knew the car was registered to the wrong address. She therefore knew that any fine she received while driving it wouldn’t be received by him. Split it 50/50 if you think forgetting to change your address is equally at fault but I personally think having your license suspended is a big enough consequence and inconvenience to cover that.

#60 born.a.girl

Posted 08 August 2019 - 12:41 PM

View PostEmmDasher, on 08 August 2019 - 12:37 PM, said:

It’s not clear cut. She said she knew the car was registered to the wrong address. She therefore knew that any fine she received while driving it wouldn’t be received by him. Split it 50/50 if you think forgetting to change your address is equally at fault but I personally think having your license suspended is a big enough consequence and inconvenience to cover that.

Getting technical, she had no way of communicating to him the need to change the address because she'd had to take out an AVO on him. She was unable to communicate with him (to remind HIM of what he SHOULD have done of his own accord anyway).  If he'd signed the car over in a timely manner this wouldn't have come about.  It took a court order to get him to sign the car over.

Of course that's 'technically'.  In her shoes I'd pay the lot, seething at the unfairness of the whole situation.

#61 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:11 PM

View PostEmmDasher, on 08 August 2019 - 12:37 PM, said:

It’s not clear cut. She said she knew the car was registered to the wrong address. She therefore knew that any fine she received while driving it wouldn’t be received by him. Split it 50/50 if you think forgetting to change your address is equally at fault but I personally think having your license suspended is a big enough consequence and inconvenience to cover that.

Very clear-cut.  For whatever time the car is in his name it's HIS responsibility to keep the details updated with the RTA or else face the consequences of himself or others accruing fines and him not being made aware of them due to incorrect address.  As born.a.girl said, not the OP's responsibility to remind him of things that are his responsibility anyway.

Unfortunately some people never grow up and take care of their responsibilities until they get personally affected ie. in this case licence suspension and a hit to the hip pocket.  If it took a court order for him transfer the car into the OP's name then that shows how serious he really is about taking responsibility.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 08 August 2019 - 01:28 PM.


#62 halcyondays

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:16 PM

I’d pay it if it means an easier life for you and your child, and not pay it if he is going to go all power hungry at you “conceding defeat” and make yours and your child/children’s life difficult for you in future.
For what it’s worth, it’s all his fault- should have transferred rego etc to you.

I would probably tell him he owes you the $700 first, and see if that shuts him up.

#63 Prancer is coming

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:27 PM

I think it  complicated and rather than giving you my view, I would recommend you ring a free legal hotline in your area (in most states it is through Legal Aid) and get information from them about how the law in your state views the situation.

It sounds like you are really annoyed he does not contribute much financially.  Do you still fear for your safety with him?  If not, could be worth ringing child support and getting maintenance.  They can collect on your behalf.  With your current exemption, is it a full or partial one?  As a full one is for people who do not get maintenance from the ex’s and don’t want to for a particular reason.  If your ex is going halves he is paying maintenance.  You need to declare this to Centrelink and be assessed for a partial exemption.

#64 Holidayromp

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:29 PM

View Posthalcyondays, on 08 August 2019 - 01:16 PM, said:

I’d pay it if it means an easier life for you and your child, and not pay it if he is going to go all power hungry at you “conceding defeat” and make yours and your child/children’s life difficult for you in future.
For what it’s worth, it’s all his fault- should have transferred rego etc to you.

I would probably tell him he owes you the $700 first, and see if that shuts him up.

Deduct the $75 and then keep a running balance for any other gems he has up his sleeve.

I understand you are paying to keep the peace but are you making a rod for your back as he sees you constantly bending to his demands?   Would drawing a line in the sand help for future issues?

#65 Dadto2

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:31 PM

View PostTokra, on 08 August 2019 - 11:15 AM, said:

You've missed the part where the OP didn't actually receive the parking ticket.

ah.

Well that's different.

#66 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:41 PM

View Posthalcyondays, on 08 August 2019 - 01:16 PM, said:

I’d pay it if it means an easier life for you and your child, and not pay it if he is going to go all power hungry at you “conceding defeat” and make yours and your child/children’s life difficult for you in future.

And that's the thing.  Does the OP have to wait until her kids are over 18 before all this leaching and standing over stops?  All these little battles add up and can really wear you down, the OP has already told us how much he has had her in the financial hole for already and they're only a few years into separation.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 08 August 2019 - 01:45 PM.


#67 Chocolate Addict

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:42 PM

I am on team 'pay the $75" but at the same time, given what you have been through, I would probably pay the lot just to be done with it.
Pick your battles, I think, and this one, while he is 100% at fault for the additional costs it probably isn't worth the drama.

#68 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:43 PM

View PostPrancer is coming, on 08 August 2019 - 01:27 PM, said:

I think it  complicated and rather than giving you my view, I would recommend you ring a free legal hotline in your area (in most states it is through Legal Aid) and get information from them about how the law in your state views the situation.


No question about how the law views it.  Fine is in his name so he cops the penalty unless he signs it over to someone else within the timeframe allowed.  It's obviously too late for him to sign it over now so unless the OP agrees to pay then he has to wear it.  I can't see how there can be any lack of clarity on this issue.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 08 August 2019 - 03:54 PM.


#69 Manicmum

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:45 PM

Technically he should pay in my opinion. However, considering the DV situation I would let it go if you can afford to.

#70 HippyDippyBaloney

Posted 08 August 2019 - 01:56 PM

Thanks everyone for all your help! It really does help reading through the replies and getting the different points of view. It didn’t really occur to me to include the DV stuff in the initial post but I do realise now that it plays a pretty big role in this situation. On one hand, life is easier if I just pay it. On the other, it eats away at you when you are constantly the ‘bigger person’ and the more I give in to him the more ‘power’ he retains which kind of continues the cycle. Still, I will probably just pay it if I can’t get the late fees removed.

View PostPrancer is coming, on 08 August 2019 - 01:27 PM, said:

I think it  complicated and rather than giving you my view, I would recommend you ring a free legal hotline in your area (in most states it is through Legal Aid) and get information from them about how the law in your state views the situation.

It sounds like you are really annoyed he does not contribute much financially.  Do you still fear for your safety with him?  If not, could be worth ringing child support and getting maintenance.  They can collect on your behalf.  With your current exemption, is it a full or partial one?  As a full one is for people who do not get maintenance from the ex’s and don’t want to for a particular reason.  If your ex is going halves he is paying maintenance.  You need to declare this to Centrelink and be assessed for a partial exemption.

It’s a full exemption. It will be in place until the kids are 18 unless I request to have it lifted. Centrelink are very aware of his contributions now. We have quite a complicated situation and there have been social workers, counsellors, police, DOCS involved due to his instability and mental health. All of these people maintain that an exemption is in our best interests, so I won’t be changing it.

#71 Mollycoddle

Posted 08 August 2019 - 03:53 PM

View PostHippyDippyBaloney, on 08 August 2019 - 01:56 PM, said:

It’s a full exemption. It will be in place until the kids are 18 unless I request to have it lifted. Centrelink are very aware of his contributions now. We have quite a complicated situation and there have been social workers, counsellors, police, DOCS involved due to his instability and mental health. All of these people maintain that an exemption is in our best interests, so I won’t be changing it.

That sounds wise, at least it allows you to retain some power in the situation.  Must be very galling regardless, to see him pretty much getting away with not being legally bound to pay :(

Edited by Mollycoddle, 08 August 2019 - 03:54 PM.


#72 *melrose*

Posted 08 August 2019 - 08:47 PM

Only pay the $75. The rest is your not problem. Don't give in!

#73 moineau

Posted 09 August 2019 - 01:56 PM

I agree that you should only need to pay the $75 - However, I would offer to go halves in the same situation.

He would have had plenty of reminders etc before his licence was suspended, so I absolutely do not believe that you need to be responsible for him not doing his admin.

#74 born.a.girl

Posted 09 August 2019 - 02:38 PM

View Postmoineau, on 09 August 2019 - 01:56 PM, said:

I agree that you should only need to pay the $75 - However, I would offer to go halves in the same situation.

He would have had plenty of reminders etc before his licence was suspended, so I absolutely do not believe that you need to be responsible for him not doing his admin.


Would he though?

Wouldn't the threats to cancel the licence of whoever was the registered owner of the vehicle at the time, go to the same address as the fine went to?

If he changed the address of his licence, I'd have thought the first he'd know about it would be to confirm they've cancelled the licence.

I'd have assumed the threat to cancel the licence would have gone to the first address.  Just a guess.

#75 Mollycoddle

Posted 09 August 2019 - 02:55 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 09 August 2019 - 02:38 PM, said:

Would he though?

Wouldn't the threats to cancel the licence of whoever was the registered owner of the vehicle at the time, go to the same address as the fine went to?

If he changed the address of his licence, I'd have thought the first he'd know about it would be to confirm they've cancelled the licence.

I'd have assumed the threat to cancel the licence would have gone to the first address.  Just a guess.

I would have thought this too. Although if he's driving another car around now, 2 years later, I assume it would be registered to his current address so he could well have been receiving the letters about his licence suspension as they would now have his current address on file.

Though nothing would surprise me with the RTA, they still don't have their sh*t together regarding cross-border issues with fines, points and licences.  Wouldn't be shocked if they were sending the notices to the old address because that's where the vehicle that incurred the fine was registered to at the time.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 09 August 2019 - 02:56 PM.





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