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[born.a.girl]

Mollycoddle, on 09 August 2019 - 02:55 PM, said:

I would have thought this too. Although if he's driving another car around now, 2 years later, I assume it would be registered to his current address so he could well have been receiving the letters about his licence suspension as they would now have his current address on file.

Though nothing would surprise me with the RTA, they still don't have their sh*t together regarding cross-border issues with fines, points and licences.  Wouldn't be shocked if they were sending the notices to the old address because that's where the vehicle that incurred the fine was registered to at the time.

That's what I've assumed has happened, and only the licence cancellation notice went to the licence address.

Presumably someone would act on a letter telling them their licence was about to be cancelled, and not wait for it to actually be cancelled.

[aquarium2]

I agree - he is responsible for any additional dollars once he became aware of the issue.

He can't be responsible for a parking ticket he didn't know about.

[Mollycoddle]

aquarium2, on 09 August 2019 - 04:29 PM, said:

I agree - he is responsible for any additional dollars once he became aware of the issue.He can't be responsible for a parking ticket he didn't know about.

If he's not responsible then the OP is even LESS responsible because it wasn't her fault that he wasn't made aware of it.  The law says that as the registered owner of the vehicle HE is liable as he didn't update the address.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 09 August 2019 - 04:38 PM.

[YodaTheWrinkledOne]

Look, in a perfect world, I think you owe the original $75 fine.

But to shut him up, I'd pay half of the extended fine (so $110 now?).

He has to take responsibility for not transferring addresses etc. If he had done what he was supposed to when he was supposed to, none of this would have happened.

ETA: I sure as sh*t would not be paying the full fine! It's tripled because of his ****-up.

Edited by YodaTheWrinkledOne, 09 August 2019 - 05:01 PM.

[Inkogneatoh]

I'm another in the offer the original $75 fine camp.

I'd probably also say something along the lines of how I didn't legally have to do so due to the passage of time, but how I wanted to role model to the child/ren about accepting when I make a mistake (ie the original ticket) and paying the consequences.

[Jersey Caramel]

I know I am petty, but given all the other financial stuff that he is NOT paying his fair share on,  I would let him pay this one himself and not contribute anything. He is still way in front.  I'd tell him yep, I will deduct the $220 from your tab.

[123tree]

I would like to state that I have never been in a situation similar and I may be out of line.  

If exDH is peeved off about this fine and is being unreasonable would it be prudent to call your local police station and let them know what is going on in case he escalated. Is a DVO currently in place.

I am worried for you OP.

[Majeix]

HippyDippyBaloney, on 08 August 2019 - 01:56 PM, said:

Thanks everyone for all your help! It really does help reading through the replies and getting the different points of view. It didn’t really occur to me to include the DV stuff in the initial post but I do realise now that it plays a pretty big role in this situation. On one hand, life is easier if I just pay it. On the other, it eats away at you when you are constantly the ‘bigger person’ and the more I give in to him the more ‘power’ he retains which kind of continues the cycle. Still, I will probably just pay it if I can’t get the late fees removed.



It’s a full exemption. It will be in place until the kids are 18 unless I request to have it lifted. Centrelink are very aware of his contributions now. We have quite a complicated situation and there have been social workers, counsellors, police, DOCS involved due to his instability and mental health. All of these people maintain that an exemption is in our best interests, so I won’t be changing it.

Are any services still involved? Parking fines are more difficult and given it’s in his name it may not even be worth looking into. However, there are certain fines that can be waived or reduced  with a letter/official form explaining circumstances from a financial counseling or domestic violence agency.

Edited by Majeix, 10 August 2019 - 06:25 PM.

[HippyDippyBaloney]

123tree, on 10 August 2019 - 05:45 PM, said:

I would like to state that I have never been in a situation similar and I may be out of line.  

If exDH is peeved off about this fine and is being unreasonable would it be prudent to call your local police station and let them know what is going on in case he escalated. Is a DVO currently in place.

I am worried for you OP.

No the DVO is not active any longer, and I genuinely don’t feel we need it right now. There are services he has been forced to engage with and these include ongoing weekly counselling and family violence behaviour change programs, if he stops these his access to the kids stops. The facilitators of one of these programmes calls me weekly to discuss any issues, so I will bring it up with her. But having said all this, and despite his very rocky past over the last few years - he is actually right now in a pretty good place. He’s very annoyed about the fine but handling it better than he would have 6 months ago.

[HippyDippyBaloney]

Majeix, on 10 August 2019 - 05:58 PM, said:

Are any services still involved? Parking fines are more difficult and given it’s in his name it may not even be worth looking into. However, there are certain fines that can be waived or reduced  with a letter/official form explaining circumstances from a financial counseling or domestic violence agency.

DOCS are still involved, but i rarely communicate with them. I could get supporting documentation from his counsellors - thanks for the suggestion 😊

[Tokra]

I think he's bloody lucky you're even willing to talk about it.

Sure, you got the fine and technically should pay the fine. But after everything he has done, I certainly wouldn't be losing any sleep over it.

As far as I am concerned, as soon as there is DV and said perpetrator fleecing you out of money that is yours, then I don't give a flying duck what they have to do or go through.

Good that he appears to be sorting himself out. But it doesn't change what he did.

[silver-rain]

We had a very similar situation come up a few years ago with 2 family members, family member "A" had a car purchased in her name (to get a staff discount from the car yard) but paid for and driven by her son, family member B. "B" managed to rack up several parking fines,  - which were passed onto him by "A" to be fair - but he chose not to pay them. Eventually the fines meant "A"s licence was suspended so she filled in a stat dec to state she was not the driver, and the original fines were re-issued to "B" without the late fees as the MTA had no proof he had ever had any knowledge of the original fines. Fines + late fees ended up being over $1500, original fines added up to less than $100. This was in SA, not sure if it holds for how it works interstate.

[Fillyjonk]

In principle you should pay $75.

Whether or not you could have, should have, would have noticed or changed the address details, the court order was for him to do so. The fact that he didn't is the reason why it has gone so far.

In reality, to maintain some peace perhaps the 50/50 split is better, or even just bite your tongue and pay the lot.

[IShallWearMidnight]

I think $75 is fair, but I'd offer halves in the $220 to keep the peace

[gracie1978]

Men don't seem to worry about keeping the peace.

[YodaTheWrinkledOne]

gracie1978, on 12 August 2019 - 09:31 PM, said:

{some) Men don't seem to worry about keeping the peace.

#NotAllMen