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Young teen planning on trying marjuana


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#26 Rowenas Necklace

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:16 AM

Hi Roebuck,

It's worth checking out Jade Lewis' website - she's a former athlete who ended up addicted to drugs and now works to help young people and their families with navigating these situations.

She's helped with running forums for schools and parents to help them identify and mitigate risks, so you might find some helpful information and resources there.

I wish I could give more help, but I'm clueless from a personal standpoint. I hope that your son is okay and that whatever happens, the lines of communication can remain open.

#27 seayork2002

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:18 AM

 molinero, on 09 August 2019 - 11:13 AM, said:

OMG yes seeing how annoying my parents were stoned was a super turn off for the drugs scene!

Not the same but my mum and step dad smoked a lot (at the time) and one of my BFFs did, and a few other friends

that turned me off big time so I have never tried one
I mean normal cigarettes.

Edited by seayork2002, 09 August 2019 - 11:18 AM.


#28 purplekitty

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:23 AM

 Dadto2, on 09 August 2019 - 10:56 AM, said:

Yup. The truth, facts, stats. E.g 6000 Australian deaths last year were attributable to alcohol. Alcohol is dangerous and addictive and the majority of violence on our streets is due to alcohol. Compare that to Ecstasy, 10, 15 deaths last year, not additive, not dangerous and not associated with violence in any way.... parents are OK with their kids getting drunk in the park, but would lose their sh*t if their kid took an Ecstasy tablet.

A lot of my mates that I "dabbled" with did develop drug habits and later on mental health issues. Not a mate, but I guy I went to school with, Ben Hoffmann, was the shooter up in Darwin a month ago, who killed 4 people. He smoked a lot of weed at school, went onto harder stuff and was on ice when he killed those people.

https://www.smh.com....605-p51ukq.html
Break down those stats by age and usage.
One of the concerning issues with illegal drugs is the unknown composition and polyuse.

OP,it is a difficult situation.
I do have concerns with marijuana use in immature brains  and I wouldn't be happy with drug dealing at school if that is what is happening.

We were very factual about drugs and their side effects,including alcohol,and the illegality of their use.
That's really all we could do,the availability is ubiquitous and you can't lock them up.

#29 Dadto2

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:23 AM

del

Edited by Dadto2, 09 August 2019 - 11:30 AM.


#30 purplekitty

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:28 AM

 Dadto2, on 09 August 2019 - 11:23 AM, said:

Interesting, no mention of alcohol....





Posted Image
Just Say No

Just Say No is a 40-60 minute drug prevention presentation designed specifically for school students. Jade and her husband Tristan deliver a responsible and powerful drug and alcohol awareness and prevention presentation that educates youth about the real dangers and consequences of drug use and then equipping them with alternative ways to live a drug free, fulfilled, motivated life in a world full of temptations.

This is a fresh message of hope to young people who are seeing an increasing rate of drug experimentation, addiction, crime, violence and in some cases death. Our presentation format can be modified to suit;
  • Keynote/assembly presentations
  • Class group or year group
  • School camps/retreats
My Bold.

I have no idea what the presentation is like but they do include it.

#31 Dadto2

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:30 AM

del

Edited by Dadto2, 09 August 2019 - 11:35 AM.


#32 Manicmum

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:33 AM

Dadto2, it mentions alcohol on the fourth line of what you posted.

#33 Dadto2

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:35 AM

 Manicmum, on 09 August 2019 - 11:33 AM, said:

Dadto2, it mentions alcohol on the fourth line of what you posted.

yeah sorry missed that.

#34 Dirty Cat

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:38 AM

 Dadto2, on 09 August 2019 - 10:56 AM, said:

Yup. The truth, facts, stats. E.g 6000 Australian deaths last year were attributable to alcohol. Alcohol is dangerous and addictive and the majority of violence on our streets is due to alcohol. Compare that to Ecstasy, 10, 15 deaths last year, not additive, not dangerous and not associated with violence in any way.... parents are OK with their kids getting spastic in the park, but would lose their sh*t if their kid took an Ecstasy tablet.

A lot of my mates that I "dabbled" with did develop drug habits and later on mental health issues. Not a mate, but I guy I went to school with, Ben Hoffmann, was the shooter up in Darwin a month ago, who killed 4 people. He smoked a lot of weed at school, went onto harder stuff and was on ice when he killed those people.

https://www.smh.com....605-p51ukq.html

But it isn't cool to talk about something that the majority of Ausralia's do at bad.  We can't call out the poor drinking culture.

What would happen if a 14 year old was talking about having beers???? I suspect most parents would have a very different reaction to drugs.

FRT:  I am not keen on kids of any age taking any drugs - even an occasional beer or wine.

#35 purplekitty

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:45 AM

Also death is not the only consideration.
There are non fatal overdoses and ambulance and hospital admissions.

One of the issues with contamination is the unknown.
It might be 20% active drug or 80% and each time you use it is a guess how much is needed and results in errors.

If anyone is interested;

https://theconversat...dma-kill-109506

https://www.aihw.gov.../health-impacts

https://www.sarmy.or...Report-2018.pdf

https://www.abs.gov.... in Australia~6

https://www.abs.gov.... in Australia~4

#36 MurderBritches

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:45 AM

All you  can do is be confident in your ability to have mature conversations about all these topics. I knew we'd done ok when DS told us he'd bought some and handed it over and also told us he'd shared a joint with the kid in question. I was more annoyed that he'd lied about what he'd wanted the money for tbh It was the same when he and his girlfriend had sex. He told us because he didn't think it was fair that she was in trouble for something they BOTH planned and did. Plus he didn't want us hearing it from her mother.

If you've had these conversations then that is really all you can do. Kids have to be comfortable  knowing that they can come to you and you won't judge while at the dame time expressing your displeasure at doing something silly.

He'll be ok and so will you.

#37 ~Bob~

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:51 AM

I’ll be the odd one out, I would contact the school and ask them to get involved. I would be hoping they would talk to the child buying the drugs and dealing them to my child.

Yes, drinking culture is way worse, but there are standards around the ingredients and manufacture of alcohol. We don’t know what is in drugs, because they are manufactured without any controls or guidelines. So although I wouldn’t give my 14 year old a beer, I’d be less worried about him having one than I would about dugs with unknown ingredients.

And we do know that it’s Russian roulette in terms of potential drug use and the link to the development of some mental illnesses. There have even been reported cases of one bad night of drug taking leading to permanent brain damage.

There’s no way I’d let that go without a fight. I would talk to my son and give him all of this information. I would hope that he would make the right decision, and I would do everything in my power to try to make sure that didn’t happen.

#38 Dadto2

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:52 AM

 purplekitty, on 09 August 2019 - 11:45 AM, said:

Also death is not the only consideration.
There are non fatal overdoses and ambulance and hospital admissions.


I don't know.... for me any time drugs get discussed I get on my high horse and seem to get my knickers in a twist. Not because I think drugs are wonderful, but I think any time drugs are mentioned, especially when it comes to fatalities  or overdoses, alcohol gets a free pass. No mention of the dangers of alcohol. It's like the thousands of people that die from alcohol are irrelevant. What is relevant is the number that die or overdose from drugs, irrespective of how much lower it is than alcohol. I think anytime drugs are discussed, especially with kids, alcohol needs to be too.

#39 purplekitty

Posted 09 August 2019 - 11:58 AM

 Dadto2, on 09 August 2019 - 11:52 AM, said:

I don't know.... for me any time drugs get discussed I get on my high horse and seem to get my knickers in a twist. Not because I think drugs are wonderful, but I think any time drugs are mentioned, especially when it comes to fatalities  or overdoses, alcohol gets a free pass. No mention of the dangers of alcohol. It's like the thousands of people that die from alcohol are irrelevant. What is relevant is the number that die or overdose from drugs, irrespective of how much lower it is than alcohol. I think anytime drugs are discussed, especially with kids, alcohol needs to be too.
Absolutely,binge drinking is an epidemic in teens and is already present in many homes and drinking is normalised to some extent.
Drugs and alcohol are present at many teenage parties.

I just don't like the argument that because something is worse we needn't worry about this particular thing.
In many overdose and toxicity events alcohol is present.
It usually isn't just one drug but a cocktail.

#40 seayork2002

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:05 PM

I have never heard of a person drinking one drink and dying but I have heard of one tablet etc. and dying when it comes to drugs

I am sure there are people who have died from one drink but I can't remember hearing about them, yes binge drinking can kill and drinking over a long period same as drugs but growing up as a child I was allowed a small glass of red wine with dinner (added - not every night just at my grandparents), DS is not yet allowed any yet

I am sure people will compare this to taking ecstasy as a child and maybe it is the same?

But to me it wasn't?

Edited by seayork2002, 09 August 2019 - 12:09 PM.


#41 ~J_WTF~

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:06 PM

Sometimes you just have to break it down and focus on one thing at a time.

I talk about drugs and alcohol with my kids, sometimes together, sometimes solo depending on why the conversation is happening.

Alcohol doesn’t get a free pass, it just doesn’t always have to be part of the drug conversation. Just like pot, ice or whatever your drug of choice is doesn’t have to always be part of the alcohol conversation.

I just want to keep the dialogue open with my kids and have them know I will charge in and get them out of any situation they ever feel unsafe in.

#42 JoanJett

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:06 PM

Roebuck maybe I'm seeing this from a different angle, but if your son knows you check his phone regularly, I kind of wonder if he left this message there deliberately.  If I was him, I would be deleting it ASAP.  If it's a new friendship, part of me wonders if he wants some help to navigate this situation without losing face.  What I mean is, he might be outwardly going along with the friend to fit in, but doesn't really want to experiment and is hoping you'll help him sort the situation.  

But I don't know your son.....

Edited by JoanJett, 09 August 2019 - 12:07 PM.


#43 *Nasty*Squeekums*

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:09 PM

 ~J_WTF~, on 09 August 2019 - 10:32 AM, said:

I don’t think 14 is young for experimentation personally.

You have done what you can OP. You have keep the dialogue open and honest.

Make sure he knows he can always count on you to pick him up if he ever needs it with no judgement.

If he wants to do it he will find a way.

Plus banning him from hanging out with that kid will just push him closer.

I actually don’t know if I would report it to the school.

Agree and I wouldn't call the school either
14 would have been old to start trying in my old area and circles so not even that shocking.

#44 Prancer is coming

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:28 PM

I think it depends so much on the stance of the parents on drugs and your child.  We can give our teens logical and sensible answers on lots of topics, but does not mean they will do as we say!

My DH grew up with a message that experimenting with drugs was okay, just make sure you have someone looking out for you.  My parent’s attitude was no.  Until recently DH’s attitude would probably be the same as what he was brought up with.  I tend to talk up all the negatives, think marijuana is way more dangerous than people generally think (I work with lots of people impacted by their usage) and my first instinct would be to try and ban it!  But I also want to be open with my kids and let them make their own choices and mistakes.  And don’t want to drive them underground and hide everything from me.

So I don’t know what the best approach is.  I am sure the vast majority of parents do not want a child addicted to drugs and plenty are, so there is no sure fire way to sort it.  We have since had a family member die from a drug overdose with my older child is aware of but not the younger ones, so this will complicate how we deal with the issue and potentially change my DH’s views.

Edited by Prancer is coming, 09 August 2019 - 12:29 PM.


#45 halcyondays

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:43 PM

I would discuss the presence of a kid with a dealer with the school.
I would also be telling your child that if they don't want to do something, or hang out with someone, they can blame you. Sometimes kids save face by saying "I have to go home, mum said I have to go straight home after school", or "I'm not allowed to" rather than "I don't want a smoke".

Your kid is either very naïve, or wants to be found out, if he left those things on his phone, knowing you read his messages.
If he is that naïve, you need to spell out how he is to navigate these situations. Like tell your friend that if your Mum catches you smoking, you will grounded for a month, and that he can tell his friend you caught him smoking. In that way he can have an out for his friend- my mum caught me smoking so I have to go home straight from school and can't hang out on the weekend.
You can also let him know your feelings about drug use. A simple " we don't use drugs as it can affect your brain/is illegal/whatever" may be enough to make him rethink it. Or he will go ahead and do it anyway. But if you try to hard not to state your views on the matter because it may "push him closer" you may miss the opportunity to talk to him about your values and why you feel this way. The main thing is not to be all judgy or authoritarian about it.

If he wants to be found out, you are helping him navigate this situation. If he was truly naïve, you are keeping him safe until he becomes a bit more worldly.
My background is my mother is from the stolen generation, and our children, especially the boys, need to know that having such things on their phone may well land them in police cells or jail. But this might not be such a danger for you.

#46 ali-song

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:46 PM

My friend with a 14yo DS has an interesting approach - she drug tests her son every two weeks. Her main reason for doing this is to give him an ‘out’ if he’s facing peer pressure to try drugs, so he can say ‘nah, man, I can’t because my parents test me.’

#47 purplekitty

Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:55 PM

 ali-song, on 09 August 2019 - 12:46 PM, said:

My friend with a 14yo DS has an interesting approach - she drug tests her son every two weeks. Her main reason for doing this is to give him an ‘out’ if he’s facing peer pressure to try drugs, so he can say ‘nah, man, I can’t because my parents test me.’
I'm a little uncomfortable with that but the rationale is interesting if the child is consenting.

Two weekly testing is unlikely to be effective.

#48 a letter to Elise.

Posted 09 August 2019 - 01:33 PM

It’s a tough one.

Unfortunately most teens have plenty of friends who take drugs, and have no obvious ill effects. The big dramatic talk about the dangers of drugs is often ineffective, because it’s not the reality they see. None of their friends would have been taking drugs for long enough to see any ill effects. Chances are, no one has mental health issues, no one is addicted, no one’s been arrested. And the reality is, most of the people I know have tried pot, ecstasy or speed, and are completely fine. But of course, some people are not.

My best friend in high school ended up addicted to heroin, and destroyed her life and body. So even though I experimented and turned out fine, I’m incredibly conscious of the fact that some people do not turn out fine at all.

I’m not sure what approach I’ll take with my kids. I lean towards the idea of education and harm minimisation. Helping them understand that drugs have unknown ingredients, in unknown quantities. Even pot (most is hydro these days, and I have known of dealers who spray fly spray on it - not something you want to smoke). I’ll also be talking about the health risks. Lots of people seem to disregard the cancer risk of pot smoking. But I also think it’s important to talk about staying safe if you do experiment. Looking after your friends, being in a safe place, calling an ambulance if someone’s sick (this includes alcohol).

I would absolutely talk about the text message. Even if just to ask what he plans to do, where, and how he feels about it. Incredibly hard, but try not to get angry. An open dialogue is so important.

#49 27plus

Posted 09 August 2019 - 01:43 PM

When my daughter was 13 she tried marijuana at a friend's house. I was told by one of her friends.  Confronted her with it, and she admitted it.  I said well that's a once off thing, no more and you better tell that friend if he doesn't tell his parents I will be calling them myself.

He supposedly told them and "they didn't care". He continued to smoke it all through his high school. My daughter didn't. But she knew my thoughts on it as I was very into drugs in my later teenage years.

I guess it really boils down to - how well do you know your son, and deal  with it the best way you can.

And to add - our friends had a son who smoked it continually, (his father even bought him a bong for his 15th birthday!!!!), he went onto other drugs, is drug induced schizophrenic, and now is incarcerated.

#50 Meepy

Posted 09 August 2019 - 01:50 PM

Getting the school involved as some have said is fine but what do they expect to be done about it. This is a problem that parents should deal with unless they know there is dealing happening at school. Teenagers experiment with drugs and if each instance or proposed drug taking is taken to the schools they will have no time to do anything else. If it is happening out of school there is no need for any school involvement. If it is at school then there will be consequences for students which may mean police involvement.




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