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Talking with partner


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#1 WTFJerk

Posted 13 August 2019 - 05:14 AM

What do you speak to your partner/spouse about?
What sort of conversations do you have?

#2 Sancti-claws

Posted 13 August 2019 - 06:23 AM

Goodness - well, mainly the child but also food, philosophy, family, history, opinions, the world, the future, biology, the cat, home repairs and the garden.

It ebbs and flows.  Things do go much better when we both work on flow.

#3 just2ofus

Posted 13 August 2019 - 06:25 AM

Wrong thread.

Edited by just2ofus, 13 August 2019 - 06:26 AM.


#4 doubledelight

Posted 13 August 2019 - 06:59 AM

Anything and everything.  Obviously the minutae of our lives together but everything from politics to religion to our usual debates on capital punishment (he's for I'm against) sport, our vege garden, what's for dinner, who's hanging out the washing, work, friends.  We never run out of things to say to each other.

#5 Fi Fy Fo Fum

Posted 13 August 2019 - 07:18 AM

 doubledelight, on 13 August 2019 - 06:59 AM, said:

Anything and everything.  Obviously the minutae of our lives together but everything from politics to religion to our usual debates on capital punishment (he's for I'm against) sport, our vege garden, what's for dinner, who's hanging out the washing, work, friends.  We never run out of things to say to each other.

This exactly! We've veen together almost 20 years and still have to drag ourselves away from conversation to go to work or sleep etc.

#6 ~J_WTF~

Posted 13 August 2019 - 07:22 AM

 doubledelight, on 13 August 2019 - 06:59 AM, said:

Anything and everything.  Obviously the minutae of our lives together but everything from politics to religion to our usual debates on capital punishment (he's for I'm against) sport, our vege garden, what's for dinner, who's hanging out the washing, work, friends.  We never run out of things to say to each other.

Yep this for us too.

We have been together almost 20 years and haven’t run out of things to say yet.

Edited by ~J_WTF~, 13 August 2019 - 07:41 AM.


#7 lozoodle

Posted 13 August 2019 - 07:29 AM

About everything and anything really. Though some days it doesn't involve much at all as we are like ships in the night during the week. We've been together 15 years. Sometimes there's just nothing much to say lol

#8 StoneFoxArrow

Posted 13 August 2019 - 07:56 AM

Same as PPs - everything.

All the normal stuff - food, money, kids, family, exercise, work, friends...

He listens to a lot of podcasts and audiobooks. Is up with current affairs (I'm not at all) and loves politics. I'm interested in science and work in an area with lots of emerging technologies. So we always have something new and interesting to talk about in addition to all of the normal everyday things.

I can't imagine ever having nothing to talk about.

#9 28 Barbary Lane

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:20 AM

Pretty much everything you think or wonder about gets talked about when together, then we go to work and send texts all day about “exciting” things we overheard in tearoom, links to things we read in the newspaper. Obviously kids and day to day planning. What we’d do if we won lotto, should we go on holidays here, the aldi catalogue lol. Every now and then we do some long term goal setting, normally after second bottle of wine...

We not big on “our relationship” discussions or anything; saying that we have been together 20 years so it works for us!

#10 nasty buddha

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:37 AM

I'm surprised that reading the replies so far has been confronting. We used to be like how people describe. Now we have (young) kids the relationship has changed.

#11 Jane Jetson

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:38 AM

Another one voting "everything".

The usual stuff: kids, school, the kids' interests and reports and the constant flurry of art they produce, whose turn it is to do drop off and pick up this week or take them to the dentist/paed/orthodontist, currently the bathroom reno and the neverending parade of tradies - that stuff.

Otherwise, topics could include:

What I Did At Work Today
Feminism (aspects and importance of)
His terror of climate change
Mine of the rise of the evil fascist Right and manosphere (to be fair he shares a lot my nervousness about that)
Here Is A Thing I Laughed At On The Internet
Books, TV, etc
Cats (ours)
Cats (general)
Why Haven't You Cleaned The Kitchen (him)/Done The Laundry (me)
Enthusiastic bagging of ScoMo/Tony Abbott/Trump/Government policy/DH's boss
80s nostalgia and tales of high school
Monologue on the complex interplay between fashion history and politics (mostly me)
Monologue on karate (mostly him)
The tension between the content producer role (me) and the graphic design role (him) - fortunately we don't actually work together! Also design, spelling, linguistics

Just stuff.

Edited by Jane Jetson, 13 August 2019 - 10:19 AM.


#12 28 Barbary Lane

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:48 AM

 nasty buddha, on 13 August 2019 - 09:37 AM, said:

I'm surprised that reading the replies so far has been confronting. We used to be like how people describe. Now we have (young) kids the relationship has changed.
Can that ebb and flow though? It’s hard with young kids, sometimes just watching the same thing on the couch until you fall asleep then talking about little things, tv, things in paper etc, just casual stuff then building up from there can help get conversation flowing again (if you worried).

#13 seayork2002

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:50 AM

I can't think of anything we don't talk about really, especially the current Ashes series a favourite topic of mine currently, him no so much! :smille:

#14 Kallie88

Posted 13 August 2019 - 09:53 AM

These days it's usually the kids or work/ money stuff. When we have the energy it'll be anything though. Young kids are definitely taking their toll atm

#15 lizzzard

Posted 13 August 2019 - 10:03 AM

I’m envious of the replies so far. This is a real issue for us. I didn’t realise when we married how hard it was for DH to have a conversation and a lot of the effort was driven by the courting stage.i completely understand he can’t keep it up but it makes me a bit sad because I am a talker by nature and wish I could have better conversations with my life partner.

#16 seayork2002

Posted 13 August 2019 - 10:06 AM

 lizzzard, on 13 August 2019 - 10:03 AM, said:

I’m envious of the replies so far. This is a real issue for us. I didn’t realise when we married how hard it was for DH to have a conversation and a lot of the effort was driven by the courting stage.i completely understand he can’t keep it up but it makes me a bit sad because I am a talker by nature and wish I could have better conversations with my life partner.

We don't talk 24/7, we have periods where we just don't feel like talking sometimes, nothing wrong or anything we just feel like peace really and DS talks constantly so more than makes up for it.

Sometimes DH wants to talk and I don't and the other way round

#17 Team Awesome

Posted 13 August 2019 - 10:40 AM

My husband and I are both introverts and small talk is soul destroying to us. The days of being in the trenches with small people especially with illness and breastfeeding when we felt like two ships passing in the night was difficult because our conversation was did they sleep did you sleep at all (some night this was no to both) and being sleep deprived and it’s no time to properly shower let alone for intimacy.

The children all starting school and having time to learn more about who I am as a separate person who is whole and not just spouse or mother helped immensely too.

We again get to talk about all sorts of things but also sometimes just being together in comfortable silence can be nice too.

#18 Soontobegran

Posted 13 August 2019 - 10:48 AM

I am an extrovert married to an introvert and conversations whilst are awesome once he gets flowing can be hard to get from him. We talk about money, investments, we discuss friends, sport, what we are going to have for tea.
We have no issue when we go out for meals together...we talk about things about life that affect us and we still talk about our children and grandchildren.

Some days if we are home together we just exist side by side with minimal conversation and it is perfectly fine, it is what we do.

It is 43 years now...not too much has changed except our talks before kids were more about the future...not so much now unless we are discussing health or super.

I don't think not being great conversationalists is an issue in a relationship unless there is more to it.

#19 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 13 August 2019 - 10:52 AM

We talk about everything and anything. He's a fairly quiet reserved person, but he is happy to natter away to me.

I love his commentary on my crappy tv shows lol! At night he games, but he done it on his laptop in bed, next to me, while I am normally doing something on my laptop. We often have lots of discussions at that time at night.

#20 doubledelight

Posted 13 August 2019 - 11:01 AM

 nasty buddha, on 13 August 2019 - 09:37 AM, said:

I'm surprised that reading the replies so far has been confronting. We used to be like how people describe. Now we have (young) kids the relationship has changed.

This is really quite normal with young children.  I think this is the biggest challenge facing parents of young families.  We are a blended family and our children are older but although we talk constantly we set aside time on Friday evenings just for us to connect without distractions.

#21 purplekitty

Posted 13 August 2019 - 11:10 AM

Pretty much everything,usually politics and healthcare these days.

We know each other so well that we could just imagine the conversation though.
We've hammered out all the arguments years ago.

He still works long hours and is distracted so with less family minutiae to worry about it's not as urgent.

#22 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 13 August 2019 - 11:48 AM

We have small children, conversations are about kids, the house, kids, his work, kids, stuff that needs to be done, kids, things we are going to do. It’s just about completely practical stuff right now.

#23 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 13 August 2019 - 11:54 AM

 lizzzard, on 13 August 2019 - 10:03 AM, said:

I’m envious of the replies so far. This is a real issue for us. I didn’t realise when we married how hard it was for DH to have a conversation and a lot of the effort was driven by the courting stage.i completely understand he can’t keep it up but it makes me a bit sad because I am a talker by nature and wish I could have better conversations with my life partner.

You and me both. Maybe we can send them on a ‘conversation 101’ course together... It’s hard reading all these responses huh.

#24 Crombek

Posted 13 August 2019 - 12:25 PM

We talk about everything. Phone contact is all we have for weeks on end so verbal communication is really important to us.

We’ve always had lots of deep & meaningfuls in our 19 years, about our values, hopes, dreams, goals etc. they are generally driven by me though.

As others said, it ebbs & flows. I can actually use it as a barometer of my on mental and relationship health when I realise I have ‘nothing to talk about’ with him.

#25 jayskette

Posted 13 August 2019 - 12:27 PM

mmm. what should we not talk about?




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