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How long to be thinking about it?

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36 replies to this topic

#26 4lilchicks

Posted 19 August 2019 - 09:55 AM

Such an event would play on my mind for a long time. Losing a child is most parents worst nightmare and this could've happened to you. I think it's normal to think about it but keep reminding yourself that you called him, he came and he's ok.

I think I would also want the neighbour to put up something to ensure this never ever happened again so I could feel a bit more reassured.

You did a great job in keeping your cool in such a situation.

#27 lozoodle

Posted 19 August 2019 - 06:16 PM

I'd be completely rattled by that for quite a while yet.
I'm so glad you are all ok OP, that would have been very scary.

#28 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 19 August 2019 - 06:33 PM

I was in a car accident with my then 3.5mo. We were hit and spun 360 in the middle of an intersection. We were perfectly fine, but my car was 8wks to repair then another 6wks to fix their failures.

That baby is now 12yrs. I still try and avoid driving through that intersection to this day. When I do go through I am hyper vigilant as I was turning with a green light (which had ben green a long time) and someone went through a long already red light.

I think it was weeks before I felt less jumpy.

Edited by Veritas Vinum Arte, 19 August 2019 - 06:34 PM.

#29 Staying Strange

Posted 19 August 2019 - 08:29 PM

Hi OP.

I'm sorry that you had this experience. It must have been terrifying for you.

In the trauma booklet we give out at work I'm pretty sure it says if symptoms don't subside after a month OR if symptoms of trauma are persistent and impacting the ability to partake in everyday life then see a gp for s referral for further support. So you still thinking about it the next day/few days later is *completely* normal.

Also everyone experiences trauma and stressful events differently and that's ok. You and your DH will react differently and neither is right or wrong it's just what happens.

Talk about it as much as you need to...and remember to end with we got DS out safely as the house withstood the impact. And of any assistance that you received. It'll help your brain process it. And don't worry if your memory is a bit jumpy/not sequential... Our brains fragment traumatic memories to protect us which is why telling your story Al the way to the end is important as it helps organise the event for your brain.

#30 DM. 2012

Posted 19 August 2019 - 09:12 PM

You ar definitely not silly for feeling the way you are. What happened is pretty scary. I’m glad your son is ok. If after time you feel like you need to talk to someone, then make sure you do.

I still feel really angry, more than 6 years later, when I think about driver who went through a red light when I was crossing the road with my son when he was a baby (in a pram).  I had to walk backwards back to the edge of the road.

#31 MessyJ

Posted 19 August 2019 - 10:14 PM

I had a car run up the back of mine, lightly - just caused some minor damage. I watched her doing it as I could see her on her phone in my rear view mirror. She wasn't going super fast so I wasn't worried and could predict it happening. It was not a major event, I went into work a bit late and got my car fixed the next day.

Nevertheless I STILL had constant flashbacks, could not stop constantly looking in my rear-view mirror almost more than i looked at the road and it was months before I could stop myself doing that or thinking about it.

And that was an event which was in no way life threatening or involved my child!

Give yourself as much time to 'get over' the event as you need, if it's causing extra anxiousness and stress then see someone to help stop the negative thought pathways developing further, but perfectly normal to have triggers of panic for sometime.

#32 Prancer is coming

Posted 19 August 2019 - 10:39 PM

As other posters have said, normal to be impacted by this.

However, given you have a history of anxiety and already are worried about whether you should still be worrying, I would get help.  Yes, you might feel better in a few weeks, you might not.  If it does end up being a problem for you, so best to get treatment as soon as possible.

#33 Silver Girl

Posted 20 August 2019 - 07:46 AM

View Post4lilchicks, on 19 August 2019 - 09:55 AM, said:

I think I would also want the neighbour to put up something to ensure this never ever happened again so I could feel a bit more reassured.

This would be a must for me in moving forward.

#34 hotsonfornowhere

Posted 21 August 2019 - 10:55 AM

Thank you so much everyone for all of your replies. I'm actually doing much better, I seem to have gotten over that initial shock. I was quite taken aback at how much it affected me. Our insurance company is being fantastic which helps as well.

#35 Sincerely

Posted 21 August 2019 - 11:53 AM

View PostBungyBaby, on 19 August 2019 - 09:26 AM, said:

You will be rattled for a while and memorize it forever. Are you able to put a few posts (in nice decorative way) in your front yard to act as bollards in case another car rolls down the hill? It may help ease your fears.

Good suggestion. It could be mentally & emotionally empowering to take action, as well as physically practical.

Edited by Sincerely, 21 August 2019 - 12:27 PM.

#36 MooGuru

Posted 21 August 2019 - 12:29 PM

Also re the different reactions - I'm an outwardly calm person in a crisis which can come off as being quite emotionally cold at times. It doesn't mean I'm not just as freaked out as everyone else, I just do my freaking out internally.

#37 hotsonfornowhere

Posted 21 August 2019 - 02:14 PM

With the bollards, I'm ok not having something like that put in. The neighbours driveway and how they normally park is at a different angle to what happened with this. The man was moving a trailer and was perpendicular to the driveway when this happened, so there isn't much chance of it happening again! :)

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