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Wetting at school
12 replies to this topic
Posted 21 August 2019 - 05:48 PM
My just turned 5 DS has had an accident at pre school last week and one this week too.
He was quite difficult to toilet train and at home I have to tell him sometimes that he must go because he will be dancing and hopping and still deny he needs to go. He would prefer to keep playing.
His teacher has mentioned he has to go before play time as if he has an accident he keeps playing and ignores it and she has to help him change.
I have talked to him so many times about this and in thinking the next step will be to see a doctor but does anyone have any tips for getting him to actually go when he needs to (if there are no medical issues )?
Posted 21 August 2019 - 06:07 PM
I have a friend who has a Wobl watch for her child. It has 8 reminder alarms on it to remind them to go to the toilet.
It's about $60 online. It's marketed as a TT watch.
Otherwise send him in pullups if you think he won't use them like a nappy and NEVER use the toilet at all.
I know at least one boy was in pull ups in DD's preschool class.
If it's a new thing he might be constipated which can make them wee a bit more too.
Posted 21 August 2019 - 06:42 PM
My son almost 5 has been in undies since he was 26 months, poo trained since 18 months and he was also like you describe- hopping around and not going when I nudge him. His thing is to announce he needs to go when he is so busting he has trouble pulling his pants down. We have reduced substanrially the tendency to got until busting by pulling right back with our suggestion he goes to the toilet, and letting him bear the consequences of not going on time. I think when we were nagging him, if he didn't make it maybe it was "our fault". He's old enough to know that it's his problem if he doesn't make it now (if I ask him to go and he doesn't but 5 mins later is busting). We do our best not to get mad or frustrated but make him clean up the puddle and redress himself, so not paying him or his toileting much attention.
I've also come to realise that he does go from nothing to busting quite remarkably quickly, maybe his bladder growing is the real reason for our improvements. Some kids do just have smaller bladders and it takes longer as they need to grow a bit bigger first.
Posted 21 August 2019 - 07:43 PM
Is he able to go to the toilet during class time?
My daughter was sometimes a toilet buddy for another little girl who had both a small bladder and spasms, and she (they) would go to the toilet on the hour.
Poor girl still had to get changed a few times a day, behind a screen in the room, again with a buddy with her so she didn't feel isolated.
Posted 21 August 2019 - 07:52 PM
Yeah it isn’t a problem during class time - just when playing outside.
Deepthought- The thing is it’s probably ok to let him have these accidents at home but not so great at school and he doesn’t necessarily care if he is wet he will keep playing some times. He may have a smaller bladder that is possible. He was definitely toilet trained much much later than your DS he was just over 4 before he stopped accidents. We don’t get mad but his teacher is obviously annoyed.
I think I will try that Wobl watch that may help that’s a great idea! I think he’d like a watch.
I’m hesitant to go back to pull ups for just one accident per week for 2 so far but it is an option yes.
Thanks all for these suggestions by the way.
Posted 21 August 2019 - 10:35 PM
His teacher might be annoyed, but it's kind of her job to help him in all aspects of his school life.
And yes, sometimes kids DO have toileting issues and she needs to realise that.
I know of a 9 yr old who still sometimes forgets to go until it's too late. Maybe his body doesn't send the signal early enough, who knows? But the teachers deal with it just like they deal with any issues, with respect and calm. That's their job.
If it only happens at playtime then he might need a reminder before every break. It's 2 seconds out of the teacher's day,no big deal.
He is only young still.
Posted 21 August 2019 - 11:09 PM
He’s only just turned 5 and is at preschool (not FYOS) - I think accidents due to distraction/not wanting to stop playing/tired etc are still reasonably common at this age !
My kids definitely still had a few accidents at that age and there was no judgement from the teachers
At my kids preschools they would take the kids to the toilet at certain times of day and they would specifically tell one of mine to go with the group then
If still happening at school - where more independence is expected - the watch idea is great - I used a similar thing for one child
I also privately let his FYOS teacher know in advance that it could be a bit of an issue for him- so to let him go to the toilet ASAP if he asked. And provided him with some laminated “toilet cards” so he could just show to teacher if he needed to go (he was shy of asking especially if they had a substitute). His teacher also made a bit of a point of reminding him to use toilet at breaks (in the first few weeks of school they take ALL the class to toilet block at recess/lunch anyway)
Both kids ended up having 1 or 2 wee accidents in the first term or so of school but it was no drama, I put spare pants in school bag as suggested plus the office keeps heaps of spares for FYOS kids, and from what they said, it was not a totally uncommon experience- neither boy was teased about it and it didn’t affect them long term
Posted 22 August 2019 - 12:43 PM
He definitely does not want to stop playing so the reminder before every break will do for a start then. You are right I think he is still little and he certainly has been improving.
I’ll let his teacher next year know beforehand - that’s a great idea. Then if it is an issue I will go ahead with a watch then (but hopefully not).
Current teacher was definitely annoyed- she told him it was unacceptable which I thought could be harsh if he can’t help it! She will remind him before break though.
She also complained that she’d had to help him get dressed (another girl who had an accident that week got changed by herself) but he does dress himself at home most days so I’m not sure what happened there (though he can be slow at times).
I was beginning to worry so thanks for all the wisdom EBers
Posted 22 August 2019 - 01:26 PM
I'd be very unimpressed with the teacher's response, is there a director you can talk to? There's a reason kids in preschool and FYOS are asked to pack a change of clothes - because they're still prone to accidents! It's perfectly normal, and using the phrase "it's unacceptable" is really not on.
We came up with the phrase "go look for sneaky wees" when we need to leave the house and want DS to try and go to the toilet before we go. Because if we ask if he wants to go, he'll invariably say no. But we just say sometimes they're sneaky. And if he's bouncing around/crossing legs, we say that's the sneaky wee talking. It takes the pressure off DS having to think consciously about it, and can "blame" it on the sneaky wee. DS is 7 in year 1 and had several accidents last year and one this year, and is allowed to use the toilet next to his classroom as his brain just doesn't always get the signal in time. Prevents embarrassment for him and work for the teachers or sick bay staff who help with changes.
Posted 22 August 2019 - 01:40 PM
If it has only happened twice, I would not be overly worried. And from the history it does not sound uncommon, where if it was a medical check up could have been useful.
Now that it has happened more than once, the teacher will probably be much more vigilant about reminders about play time. And I would just reinforce it too, by telling her you are pretty sure the issue is x, and getting him to go before play time would be useful.
My understanding of pre school is it is normal for kids to have accidents. I know I was worried sending one of my kids who was prone to accidents, and surprised when accidents happened that it never my kid, but kids that had been toilet trained for ages. And if your kid is ignoring his body signs to go to the toilet, I would also wonder if he would ignore an alarm on a watch.
Posted 22 August 2019 - 04:42 PM
I will mention to his doctor next time and pass on any advice to the school if need be.
The sneaky wee term is a good idea too and something I can implement easily.
And yes, I am wary the watch could also be ignored but I think the novelty factor would work on him for a while.
Posted 22 August 2019 - 10:19 PM
The watch alarm might be heard by a teacher though, less likely to be ignored then.
I'm not sure how loud it is, or how it turns off etc though.
Posted 22 August 2019 - 11:17 PM
Honestly I don't think he needs anything other than a gentle old fashioned in person reminder from his teacher before and after play time. He'll get there. Its pretty common. Not only the preps but also the grade 1/2 area at DD's school has spare clothes for accidents.
He should be able to change himself though, I would focus on ensuring he can do that.
ETA: I actually think a device to remind him at this stage would be detrimental. He needs time to make mistakes and learn.
Edited by WaitForMe, 22 August 2019 - 11:23 PM.
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