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Baby showers


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#1 gracie1978

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:40 PM

Is anyone else a baby shower Grinch?  What alternative things did you do?

I hate attending them, the present expectations, the cost when they're some exxey high tea etc. How triggering they are for people TTC.

I also absolutely don't want my own, I have enough stuff and I don't want to burden anyone financially.  Plus I'm really trying to do the bare minimum at the moment as I'm so freaking tired.

A few friends are quite insistent.  It's so lovely that they care enough to offer, but I've thrown one before and it's A LOT of work, I would never inflict that on someone I liked :)

#2 Future-self

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:43 PM

Go out somewhere with those friends and everyone just pays for themselves?
That way if they want to buy you something they can and it will just be a couple of things so you won’t have to feel overwhelmed.



#3 Elly_Bells

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:45 PM

Yep, I felt the same so we just did a lunch where everyone bought their own. I received a few presents but it was more of a get-together.

#4 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:45 PM

yeh i am a bit of a grinch....i didn’t have them (didn’t want one). i’ve been to a few recently though that were kinda fun...dunno....guess it depends.

if you have one, you HAVE to make this.....

Posted Image


#5 gracie1978

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:54 PM

Would be equally effective with guacamole ;)

#6 seayork2002

Posted 18 September 2019 - 06:57 PM

I didn't have one, just went out for lunchI think

If friends insisted  I would have told them to have their own

#7 JBH

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:01 PM

I didn’t do it either.

I knew someone who had twins after a big (fertility treatment related) gap and they threw a “big brother shower” - all their friends came around for a barbecue and brought little presents for their elder child to celebrate him becoming a big brother. The context was a difficult pregnancy with lots of bed rest and tension following some stressful and lengthy TTC, so he had been a bit shunted around and perhaps felt quite left out and worried, so it was nice for him to have a chance to be the centre of attention. Was really just a barbecue the couple threw to see their friends, with a cake their son chose.

#8 luke's mummu

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:06 PM

I didn’t have one for either of my babies. To be honest, looking back it’s a bit sad, I wish I had one. I was waiting for someone to volunteer to host for me ( as etiquette says you should) and no one did

#9 Luci

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:06 PM

I had one for my first baby, just a very casual afternoon tea for a few close friends.  I didn’t have one for babies 2 & 3 and I have never attended one that wasn’t for a first baby.

I had a few friends who just had a get together ie lunch or afternoon tea when it wasn’t their first baby, there were no gifts.

#10 seayork2002

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:08 PM

View Postluke, on 18 September 2019 - 07:06 PM, said:

I didn’t have one for either of my babies. To be honest, looking back it’s a bit sad, I wish I had one. I was waiting for someone to volunteer to host for me ( as etiquette says you should) and no one did

There is no law that said you could not have had one yourself

#11 Mooples

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:12 PM

My mum and sister organised one for baby number one. For baby number two I invited my closest girlfriends out for a nice lunch, mostly just a reason to catch up.

#12 Ivy Ivy

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:22 PM

I've only been to one.  Not my cup of tea at all.  Liked the cakes.

#13 Ayr

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:37 PM

Yes I'm a huge baby shower grinch and a bridal shower/kitchen tea grinch... I don't do either. I didn't have either when I was getting married or having babies. I usually have a great excuse up my sleeve when invited to any of them.

Not a fan of hens days/nights either.

Edited by Ayr, 18 September 2019 - 07:38 PM.


#14 **Xena**

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:41 PM

My friends wanted to give me one. I requested a post natal get together instead. About 8 weeks after giving birth we all went to lunch and drank champagne. Much more fun than baby shower games and drinks of water ;)

#15 luke's mummu

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:56 PM

View Postseayork2002, on 18 September 2019 - 07:08 PM, said:



There is no law that said you could not have had one yourself

I know now! Not planning on having any more babies. Just a bit sad that I waited for the correct “etiquette “

#16 gracie1978

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:58 PM

View Post**Xena**, on 18 September 2019 - 07:41 PM, said:

My friends wanted to give me one. I requested a post natal get together instead. About 8 weeks after giving birth we all went to lunch and drank champagne. Much more fun than baby shower games and drinks of water ;)

I love this idea, yes!!!
Babies will be on formula so I'll be able to escape for a few hours.  Not only can I drink I'll also be able to eat custard filled things and soft cheese and everyone can tell me I look great, instead of huge!

#17 Soontobegran

Posted 18 September 2019 - 07:58 PM

I have no issue with anyone who wishes to organise or have a Baby Shower.
If it's not for you don't have one, don't go to one.

I do have a problem when there are demands via a registry of very expensive presents but IME most people are more than happy with a packet of nappies and some bibs because most pregnant women are not a*s*holes.

#18 MsLaurie

Posted 18 September 2019 - 08:07 PM

I just didn’t have one! Whenever anyone asked I said “i’m not a huge fan, and the kid is going to be first grandkid on both sides so will be plenty spoiled already!”

The nicest one I went to was a no-gifts-please high tea at a fancy cafe, and was more a “last girls arvo out for a while” than anything baby focused.

#19 gracie1978

Posted 18 September 2019 - 08:09 PM

I'm in an overseas multiples group and they are full on.

Announcement parties
Gender reveal parties
Baby showers
Push presents

It's INSANE how stressed they get and half of them end up on bed rest and can't even go to the blimmim thing.  Conversations about venue hire, catering etc they spend eye watering amounts and EXPECT guests to buy off the register.  The tantrums when someone buys a small cheap gift...

#20 gracie1978

Posted 18 September 2019 - 08:14 PM

Actually there will be friends staying at the hospital with me and helping out with my son.  I might take them all out for high tea or lunch to say thank you when things have settled.

Xena you're a genius.

#21 **Xena**

Posted 18 September 2019 - 08:56 PM

View Postgracie1978, on 18 September 2019 - 08:14 PM, said:

Actually there will be friends staying at the hospital with me and helping out with my son.  I might take them all out for high tea or lunch to say thank you when things have settled.

Xena you're a genius.

Enjoy :) Good luck with the birth and the babies too :wub:

#22 -Emissary-

Posted 18 September 2019 - 09:01 PM

The idea of having any party gives me rashes. I just don’t want to throw one ever or have one thrown for me.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with any of my friends forking out for a baby shower for me. The invitation list gives me a migraine - if I invite males then it turns into a huge party. If I invite just females then some of them will feel left out as I’m friends with their husband.

And I don’t need more crap. We’ve basically gotten everything we need. I don’t want my house being filled with things I might not want to use. I rather people didn’t waste their money.

So no baby shower for me :)

I do enjoy attending them though and buying gifts for the mother to be :)

Edited by -Emissary-, 18 September 2019 - 09:02 PM.


#23 PrincessPeach

Posted 18 September 2019 - 09:01 PM

We merged ours with a house warming bbq lunch.

Meant DH & I could celebrate together & have a very laid back lunch with family & friends.

#24 chicken_bits

Posted 18 September 2019 - 09:20 PM

I didn't do one when I was pregnant. Couldn't stand the thought of it. We also didn't know what we were having. Instead we did a welcome shower for both our kids. My girlfriends organised food etc and we invited close friends and family to come and meet baby so that we got all of that stuff over in one fell swoop. I'd highly recommend.

#25 literally nobody

Posted 18 September 2019 - 09:50 PM

Yep Im a grinch too. I can’t stand the stupid games, and I find the whole thing boring.. I refuse to play games especially like tasting some crappy baby food out of the baby nappy and guessing what it’s supposed to be. meh.




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