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Weaning my boob-monster

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#1 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 23 September 2019 - 04:05 PM

DS is 22mo, and is a boob-monster. He goes fine all day on daycare days, but just about rips my top off when I arrive to pick him up. We are at home today, and he’s having a post-nap BF, and that would be BF number 5 for today.

I need to wean him to start a new medication. My specialist gave me 3 months to wean him, and I’ve been trying for a month with no success. I’ve been using “don’t offer, don’t refuse” which didn’t change a thing, then started delaying and distracting which might work once or twice a day.

He asks for it whenever I’m sitting down, so I don’t sit down. He asks when he’s bored/hungry/thirsty/upset, so I try to keep him fed and watered, and occupied. I gave DD babycino instead but DS has no interest in milk in any form. I haven’t found anything he likes more than a BF.

What’s the next step? Who can I contact for support? (I’m in WA)

#2 MoreCoffeePlease

Posted 23 September 2019 - 04:15 PM

I weaned my first at the same age. She only had 2 feeds a day though.

We talked for about a month with her about how she was a big girl and was going to get a special milk cup to use instead then made a huge deal about going to get one that she chose.

I dropped the night feed first then the morning one .

#3 Steggles66

Posted 23 September 2019 - 04:32 PM

You can contact the Australian Breastfeeding Association (aba) for weaning assistance. Maybe firstly check out their website and you can give a councillor a call and/or they have information booklets you can purchase.

#4 Grrrumbles

Posted 23 September 2019 - 04:32 PM

I weaned while on holidays, we went away as a family to in-laws and then DH and I had a 2 night break in the city. I was still feeding twice a day but tended to low supply anyway so I just didn’t offer after being away for 48 hours and the distraction of not being at home worked.

If you have a higher supply there might be issues for you in weaning quickly so I would get advice from a lactation consultant. Some GPs are accredited so you might be able to find one to help in your circumstance.

#5 hellsmail

Posted 23 September 2019 - 04:34 PM

both my kids I weaned when they were 2 and 1/2 so a bit later than yours  
With my first I was complaining to the dr that wasnt getting pregnant and he told me stop breastfeeding and then looked at my boy and said my boobs have broken and theres no more milk.  My boy accepted this  and then asked my dad to fix them for him.  Dad was a bit taken aback.

with my second I just told him they had broken and there was no more milk  I think I was more sad that either of my kids  
Ps both my boys were feeding morning evening and night I just swapped them for a baby bottle of milk.  I think they enjoyed the bottle as they had never used one before I weaned them

#6 cvbn

Posted 23 September 2019 - 06:05 PM

If you get desperate, my Auntie painted a nipple blue with food colouring and told her son her milk had gone off in that one. A few days later she did the same with the other.

It worked a treat.

#7 Riotproof

Posted 23 September 2019 - 06:13 PM

Poor darlings.

I expected ds to be really horrible about weaning, but it was much easier than I expected. I hope it is the same for you.

It sounds like he uses it as a reconnection with you.
I would work on another ritual, maybe singing him a favourite song, story or something still cuddly.

#8 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 23 September 2019 - 06:20 PM

View PostRiotproof, on 23 September 2019 - 06:13 PM, said:

Poor darlings.

I expected ds to be really horrible about weaning, but it was much easier than I expected. I hope it is the same for you.

It sounds like he uses it as a reconnection with you.
I would work on another ritual, maybe singing him a favourite song, story or something still cuddly.

Oh that’s a nice idea, I’ll give that some thought.

#9 MsLaurie

Posted 23 September 2019 - 07:32 PM

Start reducing the time of each feed. Time how many minutes they each are for about 3 days to figure your baseline. Then pick the shortest or least important feed, and start reducing by a minute or two. Drop an extra minute every two/three days until you get down to the feed only being two minutes, then stop it. Depending on how long the feeds are you can potentially work on several at a time. Good luck!

#10 Lou-bags

Posted 23 September 2019 - 09:54 PM

Definitely give ABA a go. You can call helpline (more than once if you don’t click with the counselor you get the first go). Or try a local catch up? I think Vic Park would be closest to you (south eastern suburbs group meet there every second Wed morning- and they are a beautiful bunch of women who run that local group). You’ll get a variety of input and suggestions at a meetup.

I know you’ve probably already done this- but don’t forget that KEMH have a phone number you can ring to speak to their specialist about medicines and breastfeeding. Just on the off chance that you won’t need to wean at all. Doctors do not all get sufficient training in breastfeeding medicine, sadly. (tel:08 6458 2723)

With my boob monster DS1 I stopped feeding him anywhere except one specific location, and that reduced the perceived invitation to feed whenever I sat or lay down. Then, I would as much as possible preempt hunger and thirst. And wear clothes that make it less easy to access the boobs.

There may be a book you could use also, I know there are several for night weaning.

Also, don’t forget to be gentle with yourself. Weaning can be emotional for both of you! Feel free to text me! I’m dropping down to 4 days a week after school hols so perhaps even a catch up soon.

Good luck!!!

#11 DaLittleEd

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:24 PM

I used a book. It seemed to work as I managed to wean about a month after we first started reading it (after some unsuccessful attempts previously). I also cut down the time of each feed.

I think the book was called "A loving comfort" or similar.

#12 Ellie bean

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:33 PM

Have you tried giving him milk in a baby bottle? My 2 were weaned very young so I’m not much help but they both found me feeding them a bottle immensely comforting and loved their bottles (the only problem later on was weaning them off the bottle!)

#13 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:49 PM

Lou-bags - I’d love to catch up! Unfortunately this is one of those drugs that’s it’s a definite no. Plus, it’s time. I think the ABA group might be a really good idea, but I’ll try calling first.

DD allowed me to drop feeds, and I remember her last feed she was really disinterested and it was a good point to finish. DS gets so excited, and attacks the boob with such gusto each feed. Sometimes feeds are short, especially when the milk doesn’t flow too quickly, other times feeds go forever and I have to tell him we are done.

Ellie bean - he doesn’t like milk! I’ve occasionally thought of offering him milo... :lol:

#14 xx1stxx

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:51 PM

A friend wrapped 'glad wrap' around her boobs for a couple of days, and told DS boobies were broken, he soon got the hint.

#15 Ellie bean

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:52 PM

If he doesn’t like milk, he might like that toddler formula stuff? One of my nieces loved that stuff (I haven’t bought it myself)
Good luck I hope something works!

#16 opethmum

Posted 23 September 2019 - 10:59 PM

I would go completely cold turkey and only offer milk or water in a cup, anything else would be a severe backward step and you need to be on that medication and I think you are trying not to feel too guilty by starting this. I would no longer wear nursing bras or tops/dresses. He is old enough to be told no and to redirect his efforts elsewhere. Yes it is nice for him to feel close but you now have reached that stage that you have to pick something new to bond and continue that close relationship and that is up for you two what that looks like.

For now it will be difficult and I am sure that for the next little while you and he will have to cope with adjustment period. I would fill the script tomorrow and just start taking the medication. You and your Dr have figured out that you need this and there is no point delaying you getting the help you need.

Try and not feel guilty about ending the relationship of breastfeeding we all have to do it at some stage and yours is necessary by medication. Just hand express as much as you can or have a medication to dry your milk up then do it.

You have been amazing in providing so much nutrition to your DS and the bond you guys have can never be taken away, your body has done its job now it is time to take care of yourself.

Good luck,

#17 MillyMoo99

Posted 24 September 2019 - 03:36 PM

I’ve just spent the last 6 weeks weaning my 22mo. They LOVED it as well so it was really hard, they cried, I cried!

The first couple of weeks I only did 3 feeds- first thing in morning, before nap and before bed.

I talked to them about stopping and let them know in advance when we weren’t doing a feed. Offered food or water instead, it was more habits when they would feed.

Then I stopped the feed first thing in morning for a couple of weeks, and only did nap and bedtime.

The last week I skipped the nap feed every second day. Then next I’m skipping it every day, then working on dropping the bedtime feed.

I tried bottles and cup with straw, they just don’t like it and we just have a cuddle with book now. It was really hard work. I also had a consult with Lactation consultant for advice

#18 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 24 September 2019 - 03:49 PM

DS now sick and barely eating. Not good timing!

I suspect the first thing in the morning feed and daycare pick up feeds are going to be the hardest.

#19 Riotproof

Posted 24 September 2019 - 04:01 PM

For the morning, I made sure we had his very favourite breakfast ready to go and if you’re planning to give cows milk or a substitute, a very special cup.

#20 Riotproof

Posted 24 September 2019 - 04:02 PM


Edited by Riotproof, 24 September 2019 - 04:02 PM.

#21 MsLaurie

Posted 24 September 2019 - 04:43 PM

Can your partner or someone else do the daycare pick up for a week or two, to break the association? And have a high value snack available... biscuits or raspberries or whatever that he would usually be excited to get?

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