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Anyone Repeated Preschool/4 year kindy


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#1 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 11:02 AM

DS1 teacher is recommending he repeat preschool.  He's on the younger side, turning 5 in January.  It's unusual to repeat preschool in the act because of lack of places, but the school have held two places for him and his best friend to repeat next year.  I trust the teachers judgement, she's very experienced and is the SN coordinator at the attached primary school. She said ds would probably be OK if he went to kindergarten (fyos) next year, they'd put him in the supported learning groups if we do send him.  That's DH preference, he's worried repeating will hurt DS self esteem.  I want to keep Ds1 with his friend, so if his friend repeats I want him to repeat too.  The teacher is recommending they stay together too, she thinks that social bond they have is the most important bit but that they'd both benefit from another year at preschool.  Does anyone have experience with their child repeating? How did they go seeing their peers move on? Or if you decided not to repeat how did they go?

DS has sensory challenges with noise, speech (still hard to understand, pronunciation, dropping the ends of words, missing joining words in sentences) & fine motor skills are behind.  He's great with numbers, but struggles to write his name. The only writing they do in preschool. The OT said his thumbs hyperfexive, which is part of the problem and we're working on that. He is finally socialising a bit with the other kids, but mostly just plays with his best friend who is very similar. He struggles with social ques and doesn't look at people much when talking to them. He's very shy and has a bit of separation anxiety.  But he is excited by the idea of going to the big school next year. We're seeing a speech therapist next week for an assessment and my gp the week after for a developmental paed refferal.  The preschool teacher is organising for an OT and speech therapist available through the school to do observations of both Ds1 and his friend.

Edited by SM3s Fight Song, 27 September 2019 - 11:06 AM.


#2 tweedle-dee

Posted 27 September 2019 - 12:23 PM

Based on your post I see the benefits of having another year on NOT heading off to FYOS will have much longer lived benefits, than the short term disappointment of not going to big school. Once started at 'big school', there is no going back, and the more preparation and maturity that can be achieved before starting school, in my experience, pays off big time later on. Good luck with your considerations, it's a big thing.

#3 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 12:28 PM

View Posttweedle-dee, on 27 September 2019 - 12:23 PM, said:

Based on your post I see the benefits of having another year on NOT heading off to FYOS will have much longer lived benefits, than the short term disappointment of not going to big school. Once started at 'big school', there is no going back, and the more preparation and maturity that can be achieved before starting school, in my experience, pays off big time later on. Good luck with your considerations, it's a big thing.

I think he'd be ok about repeating as long as his friend does and I could talk him through the disappointment.  It's so hard knowing what's best in the long run.  Though I think it's not quite the same as repeating school because it's an extra year of play based learning versus starting structured learning.  DH is not keen on him repeating, but if I think it's what's best for him I'll definitely be pushing for it.

#4 Lunafreya

Posted 27 September 2019 - 12:37 PM

My DS repeated pre-school. He needed to and then next year he will be ready for FYOS

#5 PizzaPlease

Posted 27 September 2019 - 01:52 PM

Honestly this seems pretty unambiguous to me. Unless there are financial considerations that make a second year of kinder undesirable I can't see any harm in a second year of kinder and a fair bit of risk in moving him up if he really isn't ready.

Would it help your DH to think about in different terms? An extra year will allow him time to learn some new skills and consolidate additional ones. It isn't like he will be doing exactly the same things, he will be a year older and his activities and interactions will be more advanced. My daughter starts school next year, this year she has learned to swim and continued with dancing. Her social skills have improved and she has made a broader network of friends.

An extra year at kinder is not forcing him to repeat anything, it is allowing him some extra time to hone and develop all the skills in his tool-box.

Edited by PizzaPlease, 27 September 2019 - 02:04 PM.


#6 Lunafreya

Posted 27 September 2019 - 02:01 PM

Have you considered getting supportive therapists to come to your DS's school? My DS has three hours a week, spread out, for OT and speech therapy.  Usually they come in the morning when the kids are playing.

#7 Grrrumbles

Posted 27 September 2019 - 03:51 PM

With my children’s cohort (ACT) I have known children to repeat Preschool, Kinder and Year 1. So don’t feel like Preschool is the only opportunity to repeat.

I have also seen a few in this year’s Preschool class that were old enough to start the previous year but didn’t. It is not a big trend here but enough that there were kids turning 4 and 5 at the same time.

#8 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 04:05 PM

View PostGrrrumbles, on 27 September 2019 - 03:51 PM, said:

With my children’s cohort (ACT) I have known children to repeat Preschool, Kinder and Year 1. So don’t feel like Preschool is the only opportunity to repeat.

I have also seen a few in this year’s Preschool class that were old enough to start the previous year but didn’t. It is not a big trend here but enough that there were kids turning 4 and 5 at the same time.

Same in DDs preschool class.  Especially the boys, several were a year older than her.  February birthday.  He's certainly one of the youngest in his class this year and a couple of kids in my mums group aren't doing preschool till next year.  I was actually intending to delay preschool entry till next year, but I ended up being too sick, so we needed to send him.  He's been fine in preschool, I worry he'd really struggle in kindy.  He's still hard for me to understand, they have to speak in front of the class in second term at kindy every 2nd week.  I don't want him to face those knocks to his confidence if we can avoid them. DH just thinks he'll be fine.

Edited by SM3s Fight Song, 27 September 2019 - 04:17 PM.


#9 EPZ

Posted 27 September 2019 - 04:16 PM

It’s easier now, than once school starts. They don’t just recommend repeating on a whim, they are one of the best indicators and have experience with a large amount of children. I would 100% at preschool, rather than prep.


ETA - in prep-grade 1, its far more obvious they are not going up with their peers.

Edited by EPZ, 27 September 2019 - 04:19 PM.


#10 IamtheMumma

Posted 27 September 2019 - 04:40 PM

I'm in the same boat and I don't have an answer. DS doesn't have a best friend and the kids in his class are going to a different school. I don't live in that zone. The kindy (not fyos) teacher doesn't think the local school would be the right fit for DS. I'm not impressed with them either so far.

DS is keen to start school.

#11 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 27 September 2019 - 05:27 PM

So my DS started school this year. He was 5 turning 6 with a mid year birthday. He has a speech delay and issues with fine motor for writing. Socially he is fine. I spent the whole of 4 year kinder doing speech and OT every fortnight preparing for school. I was offended to repeat by the preschool, but the daycare kinder teacher didn't reccomend it and I really didn't want him being 6 turning 7 starting.
Starting school hasn't been easy. He spent the first 2 terms refusing to do activites like writing and drawing, or would destroy his work. To fit in speech I would take him out of school early fortnightly. That's one advantage with preschool to fit in therapy.
Speech wise, him being hard to understand hasn't been a problem with his classmates, but DS has always been a enthusiastic speaker and wanting to participate. He has improved as school does force them to talk more unlike preschool and he has happily done show and tell in front of the class.
Should I repeated him? If he had been younger in age, I think yes. However we are now almost in the 4th term and he's doing a lot better. At least he's co operating and trying.
In your shoes I would repeat.

#12 robhat

Posted 27 September 2019 - 05:33 PM

I've never heard anyone talk of 'repeating' preschool or Kindy. Here in NSW we just say they get to have 2 years of preschool and it's seen as a bonus. Parents kill for it. It also wouldn't be unusual for a child that age to be 'held back' and sent to school the next year.

I'll be blunt and say that wanting to keep your child with a preschool friend is one of the dumbest reasons to not send them to school. It's pretty rare that kids maintain those friendships all the way through primary and in some cases it can be bad for them if it prevents them from making other friends.

However, your child's development sounds like you definitely should not send him to school next year. He could definitely do with another year of preschool and assistance from specialists to give him the best start to his formal education. He might be disappointed about not starting big school for a bit, but I suspect that won't last long and at any rate it isn't the most significant thing to consider. Go with the teacher's advice I think.

#13 José

Posted 27 September 2019 - 05:42 PM

i think you need to put your childs best interests ahead of your DHs feelings here.
i hear lots of reasons for doing another year of preschool ( i wouldnt use the word repeating) and the only reason to send him seems to be DH.
it can be confronting to hear your child development ismt where you thought it was/ wanted it to be.
what does DS think about preschool? does he like it?
school is just so different to pre school with vastly different expectations in terms of attention, self care and learning.


#14 Dianalynch

Posted 27 September 2019 - 05:44 PM

Lots of kids do a second year of 4yo kinder, through kinder (pre school) or child care.  It’s  pretty common when they’re on the younger side. A second year will be wonderful for him. Give him something else special to look forward to - an excursion, or a special activity he’ll get to do during the week, and he’ll get over not starting school pretty quickly.

#15 MsLaurie

Posted 27 September 2019 - 06:52 PM

It’s late in the year for this to be suggested- has it been talked about for a while and you’ve all been wanting to see how things go, or is it genuinely a new suggestion?
Have you spoken in depth to the school you’re planning on? Do they think they’re equipped to support him effectively?

#16 mayahlb

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:15 PM

I think as long as you have a plan and goals and “intervention” around the areas you think he is struggling with, then repeating is fine. If, it was just a year that was going to be similar and because he was young I’d likely be wary of it. In saying that maybe have a chat to the school? You never know they might agree or they might have a different idea.

As for people saying repeating is common, well no it isn’t in some states. It might be more common in NSW and VIC somewhat, but the OP isn’t in these states. She said in her post that it isn’t as common in the ACT. In WA they wouldn’t even offer the option, they’d just transition the child into FYOS with supports around the areas they think they are struggling in. (My oldest started with 3.5 days of aide time and my younger child was deliberately put in a smaller class that allows more 1:1 time). Then again unless he’s a June baby he wouldn’t even be considered on the younger side in WA.

#17 Orangecake

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:21 PM

I would be leaning towards repeating based on your post.
The teacher sounds very well informed with good connections to the school. You have a spot next year and a friendship in place.
The curriculum focus at school means it is hard to find time to catch up, or work on other skills. If he is working on fine motor, speech and social skills in addition to curriculum and settling into new environment, then I think it will be quite stressful. Particularly being on the younger side.

#18 Ivy Ivy

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:22 PM

It has become standard at the boys private schools in my area of Sydney for the boys to be turning 6 during Kindergarten, their FYOS, even if they're born in the first few months of the year. The schools don't want them starting if they're turning 5, they say (almost universally) to hold them back.  I asked this very q at numerous school tours when choosing a school, the answer only varied at one school - there it was "it depends on the boy"; at all the others "hold him back" (not even knowing him).

Two years of preschool is considered great by the people I know, and we wouldn't even associate the word "repeating" with 2 years of preschool, but maybe Canberra is different.  Both my kids had 2 y at preschool.

Re your DH worried about your son's self esteem, I imagine that'd be much harder hit if he is behind or smaller throughout all of his school career, than by getting an extra year of play at the age of 5.  Size matters for self esteem for males.

#19 Bearynice

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:27 PM

I think do whatever you need to do to set him up to succeed.
For some kids that is going to school at 4 turning 5 and for others that is five turning six.
It sounds like your son is in the process of securing some supports around him, so it would be beneficial to have another year to develop those social skills plus time to work with therapists.
Ignore about the little friend. I know it’s tough, but his family will make their decision and your family will make yours.


#20 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:29 PM

View Postrobhat, on 27 September 2019 - 05:33 PM, said:

I've never heard anyone talk of 'repeating' preschool or Kindy. Here in NSW we just say they get to have 2 years of preschool and it's seen as a bonus. Parents kill for it. It also wouldn't be unusual for a child that age to be 'held back' and sent to school the next year.

I'll be blunt and say that wanting to keep your child with a preschool friend is one of the dumbest reasons to not send them to school. It's pretty rare that kids maintain those friendships all the way through primary and in some cases it can be bad for them if it prevents them from making other friends.

However, your child's development sounds like you definitely should not send him to school next year. He could definitely do with another year of preschool and assistance from specialists to give him the best start to his formal education. He might be disappointed about not starting big school for a bit, but I suspect that won't last long and at any rate it isn't the most significant thing to consider. Go with the teacher's advice I think.

The teacher recommended they either repeat together or go on together.  She feels the bond they have with each other is very important and that they would both struggle without it.  Its not about him keeping that friendship forever, it's about what he needs in the here and now.  And that friendship has helped them both and the teacher feels very strongly that they need that.  So do I.

#21 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 07:47 PM

View PostMsLaurie, on 27 September 2019 - 06:52 PM, said:

It’s late in the year for this to be suggested- has it been talked about for a while and you’ve all been wanting to see how things go, or is it genuinely a new suggestion?
Have you spoken in depth to the school you’re planning on? Do they think they’re equipped to support him effectively?

Weve had a few discussions.  That's why they saved a place for him.  Teacher said at end last term she'd have a better idea.  They're the same school just different locations.  We haven't discussed school support in debth, but he'd be in the small support groups they run for reading and writing, but probably wouldn't need the maths ones.

#22 StartledFlamingo

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:07 PM

DS repeated 4 yo kinder (at long day care). We just told him that he had another year there, the older kids went to school this year and he'd go next year. He never questioned it, probably helped as his best friend also repeated. The kinder teacher set the repeaters up as helpers for the new kids so they felt useful and proud at the start of the new year.

He also had some speech therapy and this plus maturity helped his peer relationships in thatsecond year. He also hated loud noises - so much that I worried how he'd manage school toilets with the air dryer noise - but he grew out of that mostly too. He was quick to emotion and even now has some difficulty regulating emotions. He had the curiosity and would have been ok academically, especially as we chose a very play based school, but we made the decision on social and emotional grounds.

He really took to school and I'm happier with the thought that he'll have a little but more maturity come teenage school years.

At 7 now he's still very shy with adults but has great peer relationships - in f fact the only thing that makes me second guess the decision occasionally is that as a year 1 in a year 1/2 composite class this year his strongest friendships are with some year 2s!

#23 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:09 PM

It's unusual to get a second year preschool in ACT,  Primary is on board with him repeating. I'll be having a proper meeting with the teacher early next term. Just wanted to see what peoples experiences were with doing preschool again.  It's definitely not the norm here. As for height, he's above average and a similar height to the other boys that are 6-10 months older. I don't expect there'd be any aide time, just the small group learning that they do for kids that are behind in maths, reading and writing.  He's great at numbers.

Eta: ds has just told me he's staying home with me from now on so problem solved.  Its a struggle to get him to go some days.  I only got him there this morning because I reminded him his friend would be there and he wanted to see him more then he didn't want to go.

Edited by SM3s Fight Song, 27 September 2019 - 08:13 PM.


#24 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 27 September 2019 - 08:21 PM

View PostJosé, on 27 September 2019 - 05:42 PM, said:

i think you need to put your childs best interests ahead of your DHs feelings here.
i hear lots of reasons for doing another year of preschool ( i wouldnt use the word repeating) and the only reason to send him seems to be DH.
it can be confronting to hear your child development ismt where you thought it was/ wanted it to be.
what does DS think about preschool? does he like it?
school is just so different to pre school with vastly different expectations in terms of attention, self care and learning.

Oh I definitely will be.  Id think other reasons for not doing preschool again might be that he'd actually learn better in a structured environment - no idea if he would.  Its certainly bloody hard to get him to practice writing. That he'd end up bored in preschool and playing up.  DHs it'll knock his confidence to stay at preschool.  And we can't use the youre staying because you're younger as his sister started school at not yet turned  5.

Eta: He likes preschool once he's there but he doesn't want to go on a semi regular basis.  He didn't start liking preschool till he made his friend. Before that there was a lot of tears because the other boys wouldn't play with him.

Edited by SM3s Fight Song, 27 September 2019 - 08:24 PM.


#25 blueskies12

Posted 27 September 2019 - 09:21 PM

My child is having a second year of kindy/preschool. He is similar, but has the diagnosis of ASD. He is have speech and OT. We are so happy that he is having a second year of kindy- it's play based, so it's laid back and low pressure. It is also only 2 days a week, so not as tiring. I don't have nay regrets. He does have a good little friend who he will miss dearly, but they wouldn't be going to the same school anyway, so they would have to be apart at some stage. It would be harder if they were going to the same school. Although kids are resilient and they can make some new friends.




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