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Birthday Party Woes


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#26 seayork2002

Posted 30 September 2019 - 09:01 AM

I am not sure of that outcome you want over this? and is your daughter anxious now because you are?

#27 Soontobegran

Posted 30 September 2019 - 09:28 AM

Just because parents drop their children does not mean your child is not supervised.
I always ensured I had enough adults to watch the number of children I had, you may not have seen these people.
The more you question the more you’ll worry. I would leave it be, she was probably well supervised and some children her age do play alone.

#28 Heh

Posted 30 September 2019 - 10:37 AM

The horse has bolted so to speak! In hindsight I should of stayed it wasn’t a huge party which is why I knew who attended hence my daughter being absent in about a dozen or so photos. I chatted to my daughter this morning she seemed fine but mentioned she couldn’t find anyone?Which means she wasn’t included. The host got back to me and told me that she was checked on?! And thinks she might be in a video? I thanked her and told her it wasn’t the pics as such it was more that I was concerned that she was forgotten and left out particularly in such a public place. I put it down to experience and really regret not staying.

#29 newmumandexcited

Posted 30 September 2019 - 10:44 AM

View PostHeh, on 30 September 2019 - 10:37 AM, said:

The horse has bolted so to speak! In hindsight I should of stayed it wasn’t a huge party which is why I knew who attended hence my daughter being absent in about a dozen or so photos. I chatted to my daughter this morning she seemed fine but mentioned she couldn’t find anyone?Which means she wasn’t included. The host got back to me and told me that she was checked on?! And thinks she might be in a video? I thanked her and told her it wasn’t the pics as such it was more that I was concerned that she was forgotten and left out particularly in such a public place. I put it down to experience and really regret not staying.

Hmm did your daughter express the view she was left out etc? Some days my kids will go to daycare and not be a single of like thirty photos and this can go on for days.. I personally would put this one to rest unless she expressed that concern, lesson learnt - go to watch her and for your own sense of certainty.

#30 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 30 September 2019 - 10:51 AM

View Postlizzzard, on 30 September 2019 - 07:21 AM, said:

Personally I certainly wouldn’t be ‘quizzing’ your DD too intensely today. Why make a big deal of it? I’d lightly check in to see what her favourite part of the party was yesterday.
Same here. I wouldn't be quizzing her too hard or even quizzing her at all if she seems pretty much herself and said she had a good time.

View PostIvy Ivy, on 30 September 2019 - 08:56 AM, said:

Just stay at the next parties - it sounds like your daughter would prefer that, and you should be there for her.
This, if that's what your daughter would prefer. (I'd take a book and sit myself out of the way.).

#31 FloralArrangement

Posted 30 September 2019 - 11:02 AM

My children when younger would say they were/felt left out then we would see them in a similar setting and they would be happily independently playing or playing with friends. It’s normal at 5 to be busy playing by yourself as much as with others.

Have a look at the class play at the beginning of the day you will see all different activities happening for children. Some happy to an activity on their own some with a partner or small group.

#32 Mollycoddle

Posted 30 September 2019 - 04:06 PM

View PostHeh, on 29 September 2019 - 11:25 PM, said:

I think I put it down to experience and avoid any future parties organized by this parent in the future.

I wouldn't necessarily blame the hostess, she was probably very busy.  How does your daughter usually go at drop and run parties?  Maybe she just isn't ready to be left there?  My kids were probably 7-8 before I did the drop and run, we haven't been invited to a party for ages now but even my 8-year-old I'd still stay to supervise just because of the type of kid he is.

#33 No Drama Please

Posted 30 September 2019 - 04:34 PM

I wouldn’t be avoiding parties if that is your child’s friend though. I’d just not do any drop and run parties till I was sure we were both confident not to worry about it.

#34 Prancer is coming

Posted 30 September 2019 - 05:27 PM

View PostHeh, on 30 September 2019 - 10:37 AM, said:

I chatted to my daughter this morning she seemed fine but mentioned she couldn’t find anyone?Which means she wasn’t included.

I think it is a big assumption to make that she was not included as she could not find anyone.  I would think it was more likely that she may have been looking for a specific friend that was playing with someone else or she was happy playing on her own for the most part , rather than assume everyone else left her by herself and moved to a different area.

My kids often tell me they had no friends at lunch time at school.  What it actually means is they were happily playing and at one point may have wanted to play with a friend who was not around or happily playing with someone else as my kid did not want to play with them earlier on.  School tells me my kid looked pretty happy all of lunch.

I think you have put the mum in an awkward situation.  I have had kids on the outer at parties due to their own preferences and made a lot of effort to include them.  (Most memorable was a kid that complained of a sore eye and we found when going to the toilet she was putting nail polish from the cupboard in her eye.  I spent the rest of the party carrying her around and not letting her out of my sight!).  Often this is a lot of work and sometimes I find the kid’s attitude of not wanting to sing happy birthday and cut the cake as quite annoying.  I deal with it and certainly do not want to tell parents how annoying or time consuming their kid was when they pick them up.  And it sounds like you were questioning her level of supervision.  Her standards may be different to yours or may be the same and I would not appreciate someone who was not there making assumptions about what did or did not go on.  You mentioned your daughter seemed fine about it, she was there when you picked her up and not wandering the streets.  Sounds okay!

Edited by Prancer is coming, 30 September 2019 - 05:28 PM.


#35 WaitForMe

Posted 30 September 2019 - 05:46 PM

It could be that your daughter felt a bit overwhelmed without you and didn't want to stray from the play area, pubs can be pretty daunting places for a kid. My own DD1 was like that at that age but now at 7 she'd be fine.

#36 sabbya

Posted 30 September 2019 - 06:08 PM

I would of stayed!  Rarely is ALL the children supervised as much as we like to think they are, doesn't matter how nice the parents are.  Public place, at that age, hell no,

#37 Ellie bean

Posted 30 September 2019 - 07:53 PM

I would not have left my kid alone at a party at a public place- I still don’t with my 7yo. I do happily leave my kids at parties at friends houses provided I know the parents.

#38 WannabeMasterchef

Posted 30 September 2019 - 08:47 PM

View PostAllegra99, on 30 September 2019 - 07:44 AM, said:

I don’t see how it could even be a drop and go party in a public place. No way would I be comfortable with that, not for a 5 year old. It’s also impossible I would think for the parents to actively supervise 10+ kids (or however many were invited).
I wouldn’t be bothered by the photos though. It must be difficult to round up all kids at once just for a photo.

Given it was next to a pub Id probably find an excuse to hang around. At age 5 that's perfectly normal in my experience.

#39 *molly*

Posted 30 September 2019 - 08:54 PM

My daughter is that age and is going to 6 year old birthday parties and in my experience/location it’s very rare to drop and run. Maybe one parent per party does this, and the rest stay.

Play centres are chaotic and I can envisage how she might have been overlooked or busy in another part of the centre when photos were taken.

#40 Future-self

Posted 30 September 2019 - 09:34 PM

I think your gut feeling on this is probably spot on - she wasn’t rounded up but you’re also right that it’s too late now for this event so please don’t beat yourself up too much for not knowing to stay. It’s hard to know when to let go a little or when to stay even though you’re told it’s not necessary etc.

My oldest is just 7 and we’ve only dropped and run once at a house party of a child we’d known since kindy. Every other party has been in parks or a venue where sticking around was fine or expected or even requested explicitly as part of the rsvp for a swimming party.

Edited by Future-self, 30 September 2019 - 09:34 PM.





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