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Help me write a friendly but firm ‘no’ email


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#1 Lifesgood

Posted 14 October 2019 - 10:22 AM

I know there is a wealth of clever writers on EB and I am asking for your help please

Someone wants to meet with me in person to introduce themselves and have a chat. For a number of reasons I don’t want to meet with them but I will have to deal with this person going forward so I need to remain in good terms with them.

How do I say no nicely in an email in order to not p*ss them off too much?

Sorry about the lack of detail but I don’t want anything too identifying in case this person happens to be on EB!

#2 Sweet.Pea

Posted 14 October 2019 - 10:26 AM

Just say your flat out at the moment but I the future you will let them know when you are free to meet. It puts it back onto you to organize it - which will be never ;)

#3 Mollycoddle

Posted 14 October 2019 - 10:53 AM

View PostSweet.Pea, on 14 October 2019 - 10:26 AM, said:

Just say your flat out at the moment but I the future you will let them know when you are free to meet. It puts it back onto you to organize it - which will be never Posted Image

You could do this.  But if it's someone you will need to be dealing with ongoingly I would reconsider your reasons for not wanting to meet.  Sometimes we do things we find no real use for at the time in the interests of smoothing things along into the future.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 14 October 2019 - 10:54 AM.


#4 Tokra

Posted 14 October 2019 - 10:58 AM

I think it depends on what your reasons are for not wanting to see them. Are they creepy? Is it the opposite sex that puts you off? Do you just not have time? Know what I mean?

#5 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:00 AM

Is this a personal or business situation?

#6 chicken_bits

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:01 AM

Is this ongoing relationship going to be in a professional situation?

Will you be meeting them face to face in the future or will the ongoing relationship just be online?

#7 Lou-bags

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:12 AM

‘Good morning x,

Thank you for your offer to meet and chat in person. However, I’m not available for a meeting at this time. I would be happy to continue our correspondence via email, or you may phone me on xyz if you prefer.

I look forward to working with you.

Kind regards,

OP’

#8 No Drama Please

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:24 AM

Is it MLM marketing? It is isn’t it! The friendly obligation free face to face chat, I’ve been there lol. Just in case it is, I said unfortunately all our money is committed at present but good luck in all their future endeavours :)

#9 José

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:25 AM

Its very hard with so little info provided.

Im guessing this must be a work situation,?

thankyou for your kind offer of a meeting.
Unfortunately I just cant fit in into my calender at this time. I value your assistance greatly and am pleased we can continue our work together.


#10 José

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:27 AM

View Post28 Barbary Lane, on 14 October 2019 - 11:24 AM, said:

Is it MLM marketing? It is isn’t it!

Oh, if its MLM then i think you need to focus on being firm rather than friendly. Id just say its not my thing, or you really dont have time.

#11 MarigoldMadge

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:37 AM

Be honest but non-specific?

I’m looking forward to working with you but for personal reasons, I would prefer to keep our interactions online only.

Kind regards etc etc

#12 seayork2002

Posted 14 October 2019 - 11:56 AM

Other than

'I am so sorry I have a lot on my plate at the moment'

or

'sure lets meet up I have this new diet product I want to give you a special discount on...'

I am not sure what else I can add to the other great suggestions

#13 Dadto2

Posted 14 October 2019 - 12:17 PM

View Post28 Barbary Lane, on 14 October 2019 - 11:24 AM, said:

Is it MLM marketing? It is isn’t it! The friendly obligation free face to face chat, I’ve been there lol. Just in case it is, I said unfortunately all our money is committed at present but good luck in all their future endeavours Posted Image

My first thoughts!

#14 kitkatswing

Posted 14 October 2019 - 12:31 PM

View PostDadto2, on 14 October 2019 - 12:17 PM, said:

My first thoughts!

Mine too.

Its so hard to answer the question when we dont know context.

#15 Lifesgood

Posted 14 October 2019 - 12:49 PM

Thanks for the ideas so far, they are helpful. I'm sorry I can't be very specific - its not a work or a personal situation and LOL no its also not MLM.

Think of it as a person you will have a shared involvement in an ongoing arrangement with, but there will be little need for face-to-face contact i.e. email correspondence will be fine mostly, with the odd phone conversation and maybe once a year meeting.

#16 Chchgirl

Posted 14 October 2019 - 12:50 PM

Sounds like hell. I don't like things I can't get out of or people I can't get away from.

Edited by Chchgirl, 14 October 2019 - 12:50 PM.


#17 Chchgirl

Posted 14 October 2019 - 12:52 PM

I'm no help I know!!

#18 marple

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:06 PM

Hi (or  Dear)  x

Thanks for getting back to me. I don't think we need to meet up at the moment as I have all the information I need . Please feel free to email or call me if there is anything else you would like to discuss. I'm sure you have my details but I have listed them below just in case.
Regards
Lifesgood

ph - ...
email - ....

#19 marple

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:10 PM

YOu could add in " all the information I need at the moment but will let you know if the situation changes"
You could also change 2nd sentence to  " Everything is a bit hectic here so I can't make a meeting anytime soon but I have all the info..."

#20 Little Bean

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:29 PM

Could something like this work?

Dear such and such,
Thanks for the offer to meet up. Unfortunately I have a lot happening right now and can’t commit to a face-to-face meeting any time soon.
I am happy to keep in touch via email, or please feel free to give me a call on xxxx xxx xxx if you need to.
If you find this is not working for you, let me know and I will endeavour to organise to get together down the track.

It's tricky without knowing the context. If you do use one of our suggestions be sure to change the wording a bit, because if they are on EB they'll know it was them when they see the message!

#21 Dianalynch

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:35 PM

Hi personidontwanttomeetupwith

Thanks for the offer to meet up, it’s a good idea but I’m just really hectic atm, so we'll just have to do our best with emails and calls

Happy to report that the blah blah blah (insert whatever it is you need to communicate about)

Kind regards
Me




#22 Mrs Claus

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:43 PM

Dear ex husbands new girlfriend,
I know we both have the children’s best interest at heart and I’m happy to communicate with you about them (when it’s in their best interest) but unfortunately at the moment I’m unable to commit to a face to face meeting. Please feel free to keep emailing me when you feel the need.
Signed ex wife

#23 Lifesgood

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:43 PM

You lot are the best (and hilarious too). Thanks so much.

I'll mash together a few of these and send a response.

#24 Dadto2

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:49 PM

Write it as a poem, rather than an email, less formal and will be better received!

#25 Mollycoddle

Posted 14 October 2019 - 01:54 PM

I'm so curious now!  If it's not work OR personal what can it possibly be??




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