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DD8yo still filling a nappy every night

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#1 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:18 PM

DD is 8 and a half. Still in nappies overnight, which are full by morning. Every night.

We've tried waking her to take her to the toilet but she's sound asleep and very unhappy at being woken up! Did I mention that she's 140cm tall so it's no easy feat to get her to the bathroom either.

We've got her booked in to see an incontinence nurse but that's not til January. Or we can go private but it's $900. Neither ideal options...

Any ideas what else we can do? It's really upsetting DD now, her friends make fun of her, she tries to hide her nappy when she has sleepovers.

Maybe we should just go cold turkey and she'll get the hang of it?

#2 JBH

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:36 PM

I think it is good you are seeing a continence nurse and if it wasn’t bothering your daughter I would say wait until the appointment, but since it’s bothering her, would it be worth buying or hiring an alarm? We bought one online and subsequently sold it online for around three quarters of what we paid. It worked for us, but it could have been a coincidence of readiness.

#3 ytt

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:40 PM

I'm in my 40's my older sister was a bedwetter and my parents got her the alarm. At first it didn't work as she slept through it (and so did I apparently as I shared a room) but eventually it worked.

#4 seayork2002

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:41 PM

I had alarm (Not in nappies but I was bed wetting) and I hated it but it did work

#5 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:48 PM

you probably have ...but have you checked for constipation? that can contribute - we did with DS - and he was constipated ....we’ve rectified that (i think, fingers crossed) - but he is still wetting the bed quite frequently. we are going the alarm route....he’s 8 early next year, and has to go on school camp.....it’s tough, hope it improves for you, and your DD - they don’t want to do this, obviously.

#6 Lifesgood

Posted 17 October 2019 - 08:49 PM

Its tricky isn't it. Both of my kids have been like this.

With DD we used a bedwetting alarm when she was 8 almost 9 (5 years ago) and now we are currently doing the same with DS (also 8 nearly 9).

DD was sorted within a week, DS I suspect may take a bit longer but already after 3 nights he had a completely dry night last night.

We have used Malem alarms for both kids, they cost $100-200 depending which model you opt for. You aren't supposed to but I use a pull up over undies while using an alarm to save changing sheets and PJs. Works well for us.

Cold turkey doesn't work, and is hard on everyone. I don't recommend trying it.

#7 Soontobe7

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:10 PM

My DD was like this at 9. We saw the continence nurse and it worked!! We had tried everything except the alarm.

The nurse told me she has the most success when the child is sick of wetting the bed and wants to change. DD still might wet the bed but not very often, maybe once every 3 weeks or a month. 6 months ago she  was waking up with a FULL pull up every single morning!

Good luck

ETA We didn't even need to use the alarm.

Edited by Soontobe7, 17 October 2019 - 09:11 PM.

#8 lucky 2

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:26 PM

We also had a similar situation, by the time we got to see the continence nurse dd was very receptive and we didn't need the alarm.
I never got her out of bed, too disruptive for everyone.
There's hope still, she'll get there. x

#9 Crombek

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:30 PM

Same situation with my DSjustturned8. Regularly floods his pull-up at night. We tried the alarm when he was 7 but I called it quits after a few weeks as it was becoming incredibly traumatic for us all. I still don’t think he’s ready.

#10 Burro

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:33 PM

We gave up on the alarm twice because it was too distressing and disruptive but the third time we persevered until it worked. Initially it was going off multiple times a night. The child had never had a dry night. School camp was the motivation.

Edited by Burro, 18 October 2019 - 06:43 AM.

#11 Threelittleducks

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:45 PM

Have you been to your GP about this? You may care to be referred to the public continence clinic and get on the list now. There are medication options that can assist on this front if the continence nurse doesn't work.

I would probably stop sleepovers until the problem is solved, socially this can be hard if not handled discreetly.

Here is the RCH clinical guideline for enuresis.


Good Luck

#12 Jingleflea

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:48 PM

A friend's son has toileting issues and he survived a 2 night camp this year just fine.
She talked to the teachers and one of the male teachers let him get ready for bed privately so he could put his pull up on where none of the other boys could see, and remove it the next morning.

He also has some issues with accidents during the day so they had strategies worked out to deal with those if needed. I think the male teacher took extra clothing for him but in his car so no one knew this boy had more clothes than a 3 day camp needed.
So don't panic about camp! It can be done.

#13 JoanJett

Posted 17 October 2019 - 09:54 PM

Our experience, with our little boy - "modified cold turkey" was the key.

We finally got rid of the nappies, continued a late night toilet run (essentially a sleepwalking wee), and had a brolly sheet.  It was a gradual progression from checking late at night to regularly find a flooded bed, to him waking just after wetting and letting us know for a bed change, to him now still getting up to go most nights.  It's been months since he's actually wet the bed.  There were 3am bed changes several times a week for a few months - keeping calm was the key.

I had purchased an alarm, but it was clear  that it wouldn't work for him, as the problem was he was so deeply asleep.  

It's worth trying getting rid of the nappies while you wait for your appointment - the key is that you all have to agree that a wet bed is not a failure for your daughter and that it's part of a developmental process, like learning to ride a bike.  No judgment, no blame, plenty of spare sheets and a team approach.  I personally would hold off sleepovers for a while - the added pressure and social stigma is not going to help her attitude.

The alarm systems work on a similar model, just more responsibility back on the child.  Motivation without judgement is the key.

If that all fails, it's time to investigate other causes with a Paediatric Urologist.

ETA:  this was at 7-8.  Now 8.5 and dry (fingers crossed) for 6 months.

Edited by JoanJett, 17 October 2019 - 10:47 PM.

#14 courtney-b

Posted 18 October 2019 - 05:28 AM

My eldest son was like this at 8. A friend with an older daughter had gone through the same thing and passed this on from an incontinence nurse which worked for them and also worked for us. Make sure your child is getting a huge amount of liquid in the morning. So maybe cereal with milk and a full glass of water or more. Give them a large drink bottle to then be finished by lunch. I think the idea was that it stretches the bladder and also helps the body to start to adjust when they are using the toilet.

I hadn’t really noticed before this that my son didn’t drink much in the first half of the day. I found that when he drank more in the morning, it naturally meant he drank less in the afternoons. A week or so of doing this and he started having dry nights and then has been dry ever since. We haven’t managed his liquid intake since then but he has remained dry. Maybe worth a try while you wait for your appointment or before you invest in an alarm (we did and it didn’t work for him)

#15 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 18 October 2019 - 05:52 AM

Thanks so much everyone. Poor DD, it's really stressing her. And she's convinced that nothing will fix it.

Courtney-B, we're going to try your suggestion first and see how that goes. Fingers crossed!

We do have an appointment with the public continence clinic but that's not until Jan.

And I think cancelling sleepovers would be even worse than dealing with nappies at sleepovers.

#16 Melbs2010

Posted 18 October 2019 - 06:09 AM

My son was slightly younger when we had success with an alarm via a private continence nurse.  It was a week or two of disrupted sleep until he started stringing together some dry nights.  It's generally a genetic thing where for whatever reason some kids don't produce enough of the hormone that makes them produce less urine at night.  The alarm targets that a bit.  The continence nurse also goes through general stuff like drinking water across the day and addressing any constipation.

I don't think cold turkey would have worked for us.  He is such a deep sleeper he simply slept through it and would either wake in the morning soaked or a possibly hours after wetting.  Ideally the child needs to wake immediately they start urinating for the body to 'get' it.  I was advised waking the child and taking them to the toilet won't help to get the dry.

Re: sleepovers.  The GP mentioned to me a few times there is a medication that can be used (from memory it's based on the anti diuretic hormone mentioned above).  It doesn't fix the problem long term but can be used for things like sleepovers or school camps where bed wetting might cause embarrassment.  We didn't end up using it but that might be perfect in the short term to stop things like teasing.

#17 EsmeLennox

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:08 AM

Yep, the medication works well...I can’t recall what it’s called but my son used it with excellent success.

#18 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 18 October 2019 - 08:30 AM

Thanks for info re medication, will ask about that next time we're at the docs.

#19 Ghost Girl

Posted 18 October 2019 - 09:52 AM

I could have written this post as well. My 8 year old DD never has a dry night and we have tried it all with limited success. We have been seeing a pead and gp, had tests, alarms and medication. She just sleeps like a log and nothing wakes her. We got the medication to work for one night on a camp sleep over. She can go all day barely going to toilet but as soon as she relaxes fills the nappy. I'm convinced her hormones are back to front.
Luckily she has a few good friends that seem to understand. It's been framed as a medical condition she just can't help.
That said we have a plan to try over dec-jan holidays for medication and alarms. Just hoping to trick her body into it.

Edited by Ghost Girl, 18 October 2019 - 09:53 AM.

#20 Nasty Teens

Posted 18 October 2019 - 09:57 AM

Have you tried calling the continence helpline?

#21 QuirkyMum

Posted 18 October 2019 - 10:36 AM

Just wanted to say that my 10 year old attended a 3 day camp recently and there were lots of information and forms and reassurance that camp is fine with bed wetting, they just need to know ( and they will check on the kids in the morning and discreetly change sheets, will make sure other kids are clueless about such issues).

#22 PhillipaCrawford

Posted 18 October 2019 - 11:27 AM

Both daughters were like this.

Both had alarms at around 9 and 10.
DD1 started waking to the alarm about night 3 and was then basically fixed.
DD2 took a full 2 weeks before she woke and she still had the occasional accident even as a teenager.

just deep sleepers, both of them.

We just go the alarm from a local pharmacist.

#23 pitzinoodles

Posted 18 October 2019 - 12:30 PM

We did the Dr Sagie therapee program on recommendation of a friend. Very effective, DS loved the online program that came with it. From memory it was expensive, and no doubt could have had the same result for much less $$ with a hired alarm and Dr support. This program came with everything we needed and were able to start a few days after we signed up (took a few days for the mat and alarm to arrive). At that point in our life sleep was more important than the cost!

ETA: deep sleeper who would wet in the night (often through the dry nite) but then wake wet and cold at 5am which was NOT the time we wanted to be up.

Edited by pitzinoodles, 18 October 2019 - 12:34 PM.

#24 Ayr

Posted 18 October 2019 - 12:44 PM

My Dr is the same. She won't prescribe the medication because she said once you stop the problem returns, it doesn't actually fix it it just stops it while using the medication. She recommended the alarm. I'm yet to look into it. She can get up herself through the night to go to the toilet and then still wee between then and morning. It's frustrating.

#25 Riotproof

Posted 18 October 2019 - 01:24 PM

Ds was similar, though he did have a period of dryness.

What I found was he wasn’t drinking enough water in the day, and so made up for it after school. Bladder training has sorted it largely but he does have the occasional deep sleep accident.

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