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First sleep over with daddy 5month


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#26 Silverstreak

Posted 26 October 2019 - 02:14 PM

At that age our baby also liked to watch fishies on the screen saver. He would fall asleep after looking at it for a few minutes. We were so impressed that we emailed the designer and thanked him!

I'd still consider organising a pram, as using the carrier can be tiring on your back sometimes. Sorry to keep harping on about it, I found our pram a lifesaver.

Our baby was also very alert at that age and liked sitting in a little recliner, so that he could observe what was going on. I would line the recliner with a soft blanket and he would watch me cook, fold washing, sing songs etc. I would move it from room to room and also outside and it folded down, so I could take it when we were visiting friends.

More tips, cook in bulk when you can, so that when you have your baby with you, you can just stick something in the microwave.

Another thing, I made a cheap rattle by putting some rice grains into a sealed, see through plastic bottle. DS played with that for months.

#27 SM3s Fight Song

Posted 26 October 2019 - 02:54 PM

View PostSilverstreak, on 26 October 2019 - 02:14 PM, said:

At that age our baby also liked to watch fishies on the screen saver. He would fall asleep after looking at it for a few minutes. We were so impressed that we emailed the designer and thanked him!

I'd still consider organising a pram, as using the carrier can be tiring on your back sometimes. Sorry to keep harping on about it, I found our pram a lifesaver.

Our baby was also very alert at that age and liked sitting in a little recliner, so that he could observe what was going on. I would line the recliner with a soft blanket and he would watch me cook, fold washing, sing songs etc. I would move it from room to room and also outside and it folded down, so I could take it when we were visiting friends.

More tips, cook in bulk when you can, so that when you have your baby with you, you can just stick something in the microwave.

Another thing, I made a cheap rattle by putting some rice grains into a sealed, see through plastic bottle. DS played with that for months.

Me too.  DD would pretty much only nap in a moving pram.  Walked so much her first year, couldn't stop or she'd wake.  Sometimes pushed her round the house at night in the pram when we'd had no sleep.

#28 CoffeeGuy

Posted 26 October 2019 - 06:25 PM

View PostSM3s Fight Song, on 26 October 2019 - 02:54 PM, said:

Me too.  DD would pretty much only nap in a moving pram.  Walked so much her first year, couldn't stop or she'd wake.  Sometimes pushed her round the house at night in the pram when we'd had no sleep.

I'm lucky I don't have to walk him around in a pram.

Took him out for a walk in the carrier.  You can definitely feel it in your back.

He's wrapped up and looking out the window.  Soon he should be off to sleep.

Today went pretty well.  Had a couple naps while he was sleeping.  It was pretty warm but he does not seem to mind as I have the fan going.

Edit:  He would not settle to got to sleep, started crying.  I was not sure what it was.  Mother messaged me said he sometimes want milk before bed.  He sleep now.  Time for me to sleep.

Edited by CoffeeGuy, 26 October 2019 - 07:49 PM.


#29 CoffeeGuy

Posted 27 October 2019 - 03:55 PM

Pretty tired today, headache.

Mother picked him up just now, said "see you next Friday" and said I can have him full time and asked if I want that.

He was fussing today and I was not sure why, mother said he was hot because his cheeks where flushed.

I can definitely see why she does not want him as it is exhausting, the baby sounds grain on you when you get exhausted and you are thinking does this sound mean he will start crying for a reason I can't fix?

I am keep to have a good night sleep, get rid of my headache and contemplate feeling this way full time.

#30 Chchgirl

Posted 27 October 2019 - 03:58 PM

I personally think you did well. It will take a bit to get your groove but it will happen.

I have two adult kids now and can guarantee it will get better, each stage changes and it's always hard at first but each time you find your way.

#31 Mrs Zee

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:00 PM

 CoffeeGuy, on 27 October 2019 - 03:55 PM, said:

Pretty tired today, headache.

Mother picked him up just now, said "see you next Friday" and said I can have him full time and asked if I want that.

He was fussing today and I was not sure why, mother said he was hot because his cheeks where flushed.

I can definitely see why she does not want him as it is exhausting, the baby sounds grain on you when you get exhausted and you are thinking does this sound mean he will start crying for a reason I can't fix?

I am keep to have a good night sleep, get rid of my headache and contemplate feeling this way full time.

This poor baby 😭

#32 luke's mummu

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:17 PM

Does your local area have a pay-it-forward or “the movement “ sites? I would start looking for a pram/stroller now because eventually baby will get too heavy for a carrier. Keep looking- someone may be giving one away for free

#33 Bono25

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:29 PM

 Mrs Zee, on 27 October 2019 - 04:00 PM, said:



This poor baby 😭
I have to agree.


#34 bearosauraus

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:43 PM

Welcome to parenting. Takes a fair while to figure out what helps when they won't settle and why they are unsettled.

Just think of the mother and how she must feel if you are like this after 1 weekend.

#35 Clementinerose

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:54 PM

I second getting a pram. It gives you a break, both physically and mentally, because you’re not carrying the baby all the time.
And yes, babies are exhausting but knowing that you are nurturing a little person, for whom you are their world, makes it so worth it.

#36 Jingleflea

Posted 27 October 2019 - 04:57 PM

Once babies get bigger and more interactive they're more fun.

I adore toddlers(though they push your buttons) and watching them discover the world. Everything is new and exciting to them, ants are fascinating, their emotions are real and pure and they can't lie or fake anything.

#37 rubyskye

Posted 27 October 2019 - 05:00 PM

 Mrs Zee, on 27 October 2019 - 04:00 PM, said:



This poor baby 😭

Agree 😭😭😭

#38 onetrick

Posted 27 October 2019 - 05:19 PM

It sounds like neither you nor the mother want full time responsibility- is it possible to work out a shared parenting arrangement? I feel like this is what most couples do, whether together or not, and theres a reason for that- its exhausting!! I certainly couldnt do it without a bloody good reason why I had to go it alone...
Maybe you could chat to your ex about helping out more frequently- I get the impression she isnt complaining about the baby so much as trying to get you to understand what it's like and asking for help (just from what you've posted here- could be wrong, obviously!!!).

#39 cvbn

Posted 27 October 2019 - 05:27 PM

Is there someone else who can take him full time?

Not everyone is cut out for parenting, perhaps you and his mother need to have a serious talk.

#40 Freddie'sMum

Posted 27 October 2019 - 05:35 PM

Babies are exhausting.  I think after a good night's sleep, you and baby's mother need to work out a shared parenting arrangement.

#41 Crazyone26989

Posted 27 October 2019 - 05:53 PM

My 3 month old (almost 4 actually) is exhausting but you do get used to it. It doesn’t even bother me any more if he wakes 2 times in the night. You also get used to how to calm the baby and what makes them happy. I definitely am finding it a lot more rewarding than a tiny tiny screaming newborn.

With that said, you and the mother need to seriously discuss things. Your little boy deserves the best and I hope you can come at an arrangement where you can both give him that.

#42 Mmmcheese

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:00 PM

Glad it went well. It is exhausting isn't it? Hope the mother is ok. It sounds like she's struggling.

#43 IamtheMumma

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:02 PM

I would expect a young baby who is away from his primary carer and in an alien environment to be fussing.

This is really sad. That poor kid.

#44 Silverstreak

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:03 PM

Oh, at first I thought your ex was suggesting you have the baby full time for the weekend, but does she mean permanently?

I second everyone: babies are exhausting and look, it does feel like forever, but the time actually goes pretty quickly. Our DS was sitting up and crawling by eight months and walking by a year old. It's less tiring once they can walk around and don't need to be carried everywhere, although when they start moving quickly, then you have to chase after them, lol.

I definitely think a shared care agreement is the way to go, as it sounds as if both of you may struggle with full time care of the baby. For example, you could do week about, or three and a half days per week each. I"m sure others will have better suggestions as to what may suit. The point is, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Do be prepared to be flexible, in terms of work hours and what can be arranged.

And yes, again please consider buying a pram!

#45 Silverstreak

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:05 PM

Also, fussing and rosy cheeks could be a sign of teething. If in doubt, a GP check is always good. If you're in Melbourne, we have bulk billed locum GP visits after 5 pm, where a doctor can come to your house and check your baby's ears and throat etc, if necessary, you just have to ring up and give your Medicare details.

#46 CoffeeGuy

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:19 PM

He is 9.5kg at 5 month so definitely getting heavier, a pram sounds like a great idea.

As far as co parenting is concerned mother wants me to have him whenever I'll take him, she decided I would be looking after him next weekend and every weekend until I have him all the time.  She intends to move interstate and bought a new car 4wd with being able to go anywhere in mind (she go away leave son with me).

I was worried he would have forgotten who I was as he has not seen me for 6 weeks.

I'm surprised people can focus on work or study hold it together with interrupted sleep.  I just love a full night sleep.

Edited by CoffeeGuy, 27 October 2019 - 06:22 PM.


#47 Ellie bean

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:28 PM

 CoffeeGuy, on 27 October 2019 - 06:19 PM, said:

I'm surprised people can focus on work or study hold it together with interrupted sleep.  I just love a full night sleep.
Welcome to being a parent.

#48 Crazyone26989

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:34 PM

 CoffeeGuy, on 27 October 2019 - 06:19 PM, said:

He is 9.5kg at 5 month so definitely getting heavier, a pram sounds like a great idea.

As far as co parenting is concerned mother wants me to have him whenever I'll take him, she decided I would be looking after him next weekend and every weekend until I have him all the time.  She intends to move interstate and bought a new car 4wd with being able to go anywhere in mind (she go away leave son with me).

I was worried he would have forgotten who I was as he has not seen me for 6 weeks.

I'm surprised people can focus on work or study hold it together with interrupted sleep.  I just love a full night sleep.

On the full nights sleep thing, you do what you’ve got to do as you often don’t have a choice. I am on leave so don’t have work to “focus” on the next day but I do have to parent my child which is no easy task. My husband often wakes briefly when the baby wakes and just has to get on with it at work.

ETA oh and my baby wakes around midnight for a feed so I make sure that I’m in bed and can get at least two hours of sleep before he wakes. Then if he wakes again around 3 or 4, at least I get a few 2-3 hour chunks of sleep. I do 90% of the parenting during the week as my husband works long hours and you just have to make it work.

Edited by Crazyone26989, 27 October 2019 - 06:39 PM.


#49 Silverstreak

Posted 27 October 2019 - 06:43 PM

Honestly, with a baby, it would be hard to work full time and look after a baby every night solo (I'm sure it's been done though.)

Sometimes one parent continues to work full time whilst the other parent takes maternity leave and takes care of the night wakings. I ended up taking two years off work, as DS wasn't the best sleeper.

With your ex's intentions, I'm not sure if she's intending to move Interstate permanently, but I'd be considering getting legal advice and planning ahead in the event that one day she just takes off.

Also ring the local council and see if there are any parenting groups that you can join for extra support.

#50 Ivy Ivy

Posted 27 October 2019 - 07:06 PM

CoffeGuy you did well.  It's such a hard job.

You were very sensible to walk away to calm yourself down when the baby's fussing got too much.

I'm sure you know this, but never shake a baby.  The shaking causes them brain damage.  Much better, when you're tired, getting cranky, whatever, to put the baby safely in a cot, and walk away for a bit until you're calmer.

I was so sleep deprived and angry and absolutely frustrated with the never-ending emotional work of soothing a crying baby, once I punched a wall.




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