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Birthday party for two siblings.. gift?


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#1 Riotproof

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:10 AM

Dd has been invited to a birthday party for two siblings that are not twins. She only knows one of them.

Do I need to bring a present for the sibling? Or is it accepted that they will each have their own guests and therefore gifts? Should I just get something very small for the child we don’t know?

#2 SplashingRainbows

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:19 AM

Which children’s names were on the invitation? ETA when we’ve had this situation, it was clear child 1 invited 5 friend and child 2 invited 5 friends so I just bought for the child that my kid was friends with. I’m not sure I knew until party day it was a joint party.

Edited by SplashingRainbows, 08 November 2019 - 06:21 AM.


#3 sydmumof2

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:22 AM

Hi there, we're having a combined party for our two kids, whose birthdays are very close together. I would not expect people to get presents for the child they don't know.

#4 BECZ

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:22 AM

I'd probably get either just a present for your DD's friend or possibly main present for her friend and a small gift for the sibling.

#5 Bearynice

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:26 AM

I think it’s dependent on ages a bit. If the birthday children are 3 and 4 I would be more likely to give a very small (eg a hot wheels vehicle ) to the extra birthday child.

If they are of school age then I think they would understand a joint party thing bit better.

I would just buy a present for the birthday party child you know and give extra birthday child a card



#6 Riotproof

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:29 AM

View PostSplashingRainbows, on 08 November 2019 - 06:19 AM, said:

Which children’s names were on the invitation? ETA when we’ve had this situation, it was clear child 1 invited 5 friend and child 2 invited 5 friends so I just bought for the child that my kid was friends with. I’m not sure I knew until party day it was a joint party.

They are both on the invitation.

#7 MarciaB

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:36 AM

How old are the kids?

I would really only buy a gift for the child that you know.  In the past we have been to joint parties, but usually the invitations are separate?  So we don't really know it is a joint party until we show up!

#8 BornToLove

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:40 AM

DD is friends with one twin but not the other, she’s invited to their party as a guest of the twin she’s friends with. I’ve always given family passes to stuff like a movie or local activity (skating, rock climbing trampoline etc). It makes it easy, something for both kids but not breaking the bank.

#9 Riotproof

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:49 AM

The kids are not old enough to understand a voucher type present. Both still at preschool age.

Edited by Riotproof, 08 November 2019 - 07:10 AM.


#10 MarciaB

Posted 08 November 2019 - 06:59 AM

View PostRiotproof, on 08 November 2019 - 06:49 AM, said:

The kids are not old enough to understand a voucher type present. Both still at preschool.

In that case - I would buy a small gift for each child.  You could make one a little "larger" if you like - but I would do a gift for each.

#11 Mrs Zee

Posted 08 November 2019 - 07:04 AM

I would do a gift for each. How big is the preschool that your child doesn't know the other one?

#12 SplashingRainbows

Posted 08 November 2019 - 07:05 AM

I’m thinking gift for each too

#13 sahmie

Posted 08 November 2019 - 07:11 AM

Gift for both if they’re both on the invite, but I’d only bump up my initial spend slightly to halve it (ie, if you’d normally spend $20 on one kid, spend $15 on each)

#14 BECZ

Posted 08 November 2019 - 08:11 AM

If you choose to buy a gift each, maybe a combined gift like something something BornToLove suggested or a board game that they can both use/play together.

It makes it so hard as some guests might buy for the other and some not.  Like it could end up very lopsided.

#15 seayork2002

Posted 08 November 2019 - 08:24 AM

as they are both on the invitation I personally would take two gifts

#16 Threelittleducks

Posted 08 November 2019 - 08:33 AM

Two small gifts. My go to at this age is a book and JoJo bow. That would come to around $20 in total for both.

Another go to present is a small notebook and tin of colour pencils.

Good Luck

#17 Apple14

Posted 08 November 2019 - 08:34 AM

I would not take a gift for a non-friend regardless of what is on the invitation.
Your child has been invited by child 1. Gift for child 1. Just so happens child 2 is sharing the day with their friends.

#18 TheXmasSheep

Posted 08 November 2019 - 09:01 AM

Do what feels right for you and your child.
I personally have held joint parties, but the kids have invited their friends and whilst it was a joint celebration I expected the parents to buy for the child their child was friends with. I would not have expected gifts for the other and visa versa. No one was harmed or emotionally damaged by not receiving multiple gifts. I actually don’t think they even noticed the others friends were there, kids are fairly egocentric when little.

#19 Ivy Ivy

Posted 08 November 2019 - 09:18 AM

If money was not tight I'd buy the main present, plus a little something for the sibling e.g. a little kids book.
If money is tight, just the main present.

I doubt the parents will be fussed either way, different people will do different things, each kid will end up with a random number of presents, and hopefully not cry if their sibling has more?  there is no way you, as one guest, can even that out.

#20 rosie28

Posted 08 November 2019 - 09:49 AM

I’d do two gifts, and wouldn’t spend less on the child my child doesn’t know well. I’d see it as my child being invited by both. If they were older then a family pass to something would be great, but in kinder I’d keep it even, to the extent of buying two sets of LEGO the same size, or two slightly different but equivalent toys.

#21 Mrs Zee

Posted 08 November 2019 - 09:51 AM

View PostApple14, on 08 November 2019 - 08:34 AM, said:

I would not take a gift for a non-friend regardless of what is on the invitation.
Your child has been invited by child 1. Gift for child 1. Just so happens child 2 is sharing the day with their friends.

The invitation has both names on it, therefore OP's kid has been invited by both children.

#22 Little Bean

Posted 08 November 2019 - 10:10 AM

Yes, take them a gift each. And of equal value. They're preschoolers. Their parents might not really care, but my kids would sure notice if guests arrived and handed a gift to one child and not the other.
And what if one child has fewer friends and that's why the parents combined the party?
If everyone thought that way, one child could potentially receive two gifts from "their" guests and the other 10 from theirs.
If cost is the issue, keep it simple with things like craft or a bubble blower, but definitely bring something for both kids. They probably aren't even that fussed on what they get at that age, they just love the excitement of receiving and opening a gift.

#23 Murderino

Posted 08 November 2019 - 10:12 AM

View PostMrs Zee, on 08 November 2019 - 07:04 AM, said:

I would do a gift for each. How big is the preschool that your child doesn't know the other one?

They’re not twins so presumably not in the same preschool level?

RP my kids are two days apart and so far they’ve not had a joint party (only because what they wanted was different in the couple of years they’ve had friend parties).

If they did have a joint patty I would issue separate invites with only the one birthday child’s name unless they did actually both want to invite the same child (they’re at a small school so it’s possible). I wouldn’t expect two presents for them.

I think given both names are on the invite you need to buy a present for both.

#24 steppy

Posted 08 November 2019 - 10:14 AM

I'd just buy something they can share.

#25 Riotproof

Posted 08 November 2019 - 10:46 AM

Thanks for all the input. I really appreciate it.

Two presents it is.

I will take dd to choose them. She has already decided the theme of her gift for her friend, it doesn’t really work for a joint present.




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