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That is it ... I do not belong here any more


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#1 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:23 PM

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After being on EB since early-mid 2000, it has finally happened. There is no longer a category for me. My children have turned 18.

I joined EB (under a different user name) when just pregnant with my first daughter. It was a stressful pregnancy. My (now ex) DH and I were living 500km apart. There were little complications along the way, and some "minor" things on scans that just did not add up.  At 24 weeks (after a "two vessel cord, small but otherwise no abnormalities" 18-20 week scan) we induced our baby girl early due to severe, unsurvivable foetal abnormalities (triploidy). EB members were one of my most amazing supports.

So I had done the pregnancy/due in groups, and was now moving on to the miscarriage/stillbirth group.

I did not really get to loiter in the TTC after loss group, because I had barely started to think about whether we should try again when I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant again.

There was not too much time for excitement, before I started to bleed. The ultrasound showed that not only was I NOT losing this baby, but this "baby" was plural. Twins. Off to the multiple births forum I went.

26 weeks and a threatened prem labour with promises of "you will go any day" saw me loiter in Babies Born Early. Plus I had the added bonus of there being abnormalities on ultrasound with my daughter's brain ... off to explore discussions about disabilites.

They were born at 35 weeks via c-section (oh look, another forum for me). I combination breast and bottle fed them (back then it was just one "Feeding your baby" forum).

They developed through all of those newborn/infant/toddler/preschooler etc stages ... through to joining the FYOS threads.

Then their father and I separated. Another of those life events that EB members were my strength throughout. I learned about family violence, and how it was not something for me to be ashamed of. I was a step parent for a while (thanks again for the help there, EB), I single parented for even more years. I worked full time. I studied. EB had a forum for every situation that I seemed to be in.

We have done all of the years of school now. I have struggled financially. I have experienced mental health problems. I have practised self care through reading, photography and running. It seems that whatever life throws at me, EB has a place for me to belong.

So, while I seem to have run out of specific places to be here, as my children this month have turned 18, finished school, got university offers, are driving, drinking, working, adulting ... here I still am.

Thank you EB!

ETA - but where is my "mothers of new adults" forum?

Edited by SkeptiHandsOnMum, 15 November 2019 - 09:24 PM.


#2 Expelliarmus

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:25 PM

Mine will be 18 soon she graduated and all ... wish she was adulting a bit ... but hey did you see kirstie's baby in her formal dress last night?

#thegreatEBbabyshower

#3 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:29 PM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 15 November 2019 - 09:25 PM, said:

Mine will be 18 soon she graduated and all ... wish she was adulting a bit ... but hey did you see kirstie's baby in her formal dress last night?

#thegreatEBbabyshower
Okay old-timers, put your hand up if you were at #thegreatEBbabyshower

I do not know what happened to my awesome dressing gown gift from that. Who made them? They were fantastic!

For those who do not know, an EB member hosted a Sydney-based baby shower for three of the members who were due at the time. It was a large turn out. Even the site owners at the time were there (or at least one of them ... trying to remember if it was both). Those were the days of teal ... and you wonder why we are all so sentimental ...

Edited by SkeptiHandsOnMum, 15 November 2019 - 09:38 PM.


#4 kadoodle

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:30 PM

You’re making me tear up.

#5 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:31 PM

Isn’t that what the Misc and General forums are about..... anything in Life?

#6 Nobodyelse

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:32 PM

Nomination for feel-good post of the year.

What an amazing acheivement, SHM! Congratulations on your baby's 18th birthday and growing humans into adulthood.

Your experience is invaluable to us following behind you. Thank you for being here.

#7 Expelliarmus

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:33 PM

View PostSkeptiHandsOnMum, on 15 November 2019 - 09:29 PM, said:

Okay old-timers, put your hand up if you were at #thegreatEBbabyshower

I do not know what happened to my awesome dressing gown gift from that. Who made them? They were fantastic!

For that majority of you who do not know, an EB member hosted a Sydney-based baby shower for three of the members who were due at the time. It was a large turn out. Even the site owners at the time were there (or at least one of them ... trying to remember if it was both). Those were the days of teal ... and you wonder why we are all so sentimental ...
They were both there and I think Dani made the dressing gowns. I have mine ... somewhere ... I think ...

I need that "Kidults" forum as well!

#8 Lime-Polka-Dot

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:39 PM

Just came to post something similar to Nobody else- although you might not 'fit' into any specific forum now you have so much to offer others going through various similar situations and stages in their own journies!

#9 kadoodle

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:43 PM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 15 November 2019 - 09:33 PM, said:


They were both there and I think Dani made the dressing gowns. I have mine ... somewhere ... I think ...

I need that "Kidults" forum as well!

Grandkids 😈

#10 SkeptiHandsOnMum

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:50 PM

View Postkadoodle, on 15 November 2019 - 09:43 PM, said:



Grandkids
Away with you and your scary talk

#11 JRA

Posted 15 November 2019 - 09:55 PM

Now that is something I hadn’t thought of. I have 12 mths until da is finished school and is 18. So will be  18 years of essential booby.

I can’t believe it had been that long

#12 Sandra

Posted 15 November 2019 - 10:10 PM

My youngest is 20 now, and I am still here! We need Essential Empty Nesters

#13 Ozquoll

Posted 15 November 2019 - 10:30 PM

Anyone else open this thread thinking it was going to be an epic YAAB flounce?!!

#14 27plus

Posted 15 November 2019 - 10:42 PM

Great for grandparents to keep on top of current thinking. So no reason to leave.

#15 Manicmum

Posted 15 November 2019 - 10:45 PM

Yup.
Don’t go.. we still need your experience.

#16 FuzzyChocolateToes

Posted 15 November 2019 - 10:56 PM

I was totally expecting this to be a massive flounce! :D

#17 BahumChchgirlbug

Posted 15 November 2019 - 11:48 PM

Mine are 18 and 21, there's definitely plenty of us oldies here!

Of course you belong here. I'm not going anywhere 😂😂

#18 got my tinsel on

Posted 16 November 2019 - 12:05 AM

Mine is about to turn 20.  

And I'm stayin' put.

#19 katei

Posted 16 November 2019 - 05:18 AM

Sandra, I remember meeting you at Hungry Jacks on Leach Highway when my first was a baby - he's almost 18 so that must have been 17 years ago!

#20 IamzFeralz

Posted 16 November 2019 - 06:07 AM

What a great post OP, although it makes me feel we need an “adult children” sub forum in this day and age where they still live at home for longer.

I’ve been here for 18 years at least, with a few gaps in between.  I can remember discovering it for the first time and being amazed at the hive of activity it was.   Does anyone remember the moderator that was a Mormon?

I also remember looking at some of the forums with interest  in the early days not realising that one day they’d help me a lot and give me a foundation to get started.

Edited by IamzFeralz, 16 November 2019 - 06:07 AM.


#21 .Jerry.

Posted 16 November 2019 - 06:07 AM

Congratulations!

I haven't been here that long, but am amazed that my BBE is about to turn 14!   So 15 years of EB for me...so far.

:)

#22 born.a.girl

Posted 16 November 2019 - 06:28 AM

View PostSandra, on 15 November 2019 - 10:10 PM, said:

My youngest is 20 now, and I am still here! We need Essential Empty Nesters


Mine's 27 and no sign soon of an empty nest! :)

Mind you, her delightful boyfriend pretty much lives here as well, so I feel as though I got the two kids I always wanted.

#23 BahumChchgirlbug

Posted 16 November 2019 - 06:52 AM

I only have a half empty nest!  One back and forth and one there and for the next few months me back and forth!

#24 BahumChchgirlbug

Posted 16 November 2019 - 06:54 AM

View Postkadoodle, on 15 November 2019 - 09:43 PM, said:



Grandkids 😈

Crap I'm not ready for that yet 😂😂

#25 MincePieMasterchef

Posted 16 November 2019 - 07:04 AM

Im sorry for your loss but also CONGRATULATIONS on making it that far!

Perhaps its time they created an empty nesters section ;)




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