Jump to content

Awkward - party invitation


  • Please log in to reply
61 replies to this topic

#1 Ozquoll

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:20 PM

At pick-up today another school mum asked me if we were going to X's birthday party on the weekend. I hadn't heard there was a party. She said the whole class had been invited and the invitation was probably scrunched down the bottom of DS's schoolbag, like it had been in her son's schoolbag.

There is definitely no invitation in DS's schoolbag 😕. I don't think DS and X are friends exactly, but they seem to get along well enough - I wouldn't have thought he would exclude DS from a whole-class invite, anyway! I don't know the parents of X, and it would be terribly awkward to ask them if he was invited. I can't think of whether there's anything I can do. Help!

#2 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:23 PM

Does your DS think he’s been invited?

#3 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:25 PM

Ask the teacher?  They often know much of the goings on re parties - especially whole-class invites?

#4 Heather11

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:37 PM

Yes ask both your child and teacher.  Does your child remember receiving the invite?  I know at primary school they often have personal trays under their desk so it could have been put in there.  

It may not be a whole class party.  The other parent may be misinformed so i wouldn't approach the party host personally.

#5 Bono25

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:37 PM

Could it have gotten lost, fallen out of his bag?
Teacher is probably the best person to talk to, but I guess it depends on age. I had the same thing happen last year

#6 Hands Up

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:38 PM

I’d leave it. You are going on the hearsay of another parent, not the host. Quite possibly it’s not an all class party?

#7 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:40 PM

Ask your son if he's received any birthday party invitations lately that you need to be aware of.

If he says yes, ask him to get the invitation and does he want to go?

If he says no and says nothing else, drop it.

If he says no, but he knows X is having a party and he hasn't been invited, then you can have a quick discussion about how not everyone is always invited to parties for a variety of reasons, etc etc.

#8 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:41 PM

I would not ask the teacher. I never told the teachers about any birthday parties that we were holding for our kids.

#9 José

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:48 PM

View PostYodaTheWrinkledOne, on 19 November 2019 - 04:41 PM, said:

I would not ask the teacher. I never told the teachers about any birthday parties that we were holding for our kids.

I think it depends on the age.
In kindergarten the teachers seem to know everything so i might ask them. My DS is in year 1 and we did a whole class party this year. He handed out invitations at school and talked to his teacher about it because he was excited, so the teacher would have known. I didn't say anything about it.

#10 EmmDasher

Posted 19 November 2019 - 04:53 PM

This happened earlier in the year to us. The other parent was misinformed and it wasn’t a whole of class party at all. I would just let it be if they’re not particular friends.

#11 annodam

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:00 PM

If they're not friends, then it's highly likely your son is probably not invited, you don't even know 100% if it is a whole class party.

Just leave it.

#12 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:02 PM

I wouldn’t do anything unless it’s mentioned to me by the parent of the kid or my kid brings it up.

#13 Kiwi Bicycle

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:08 PM

Our FYOS teachers asked the parents to hand any invites directly to her to hand out. They are then discretely stapled into our communication diary without the child knowing. Saves losing and being left out embarrassment.
Did you get similar instructions? I would ask the teacher.

#14 Luci

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:14 PM

When my kids were in preschool / first year of school the teachers would help distribute invitations if the whole class was invited so you probably could ask the teacher if they have seen any stray invites floating around, And and mentioned by PP ask your DS if he remembers anything about it. Other than that I personally would leave it.

#15 amdirel

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:16 PM

I would leave it. It could possibly get a whole lot more awkward if you pursue it.

#16 Ozquoll

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:39 PM

To answer:

DS is FYOS, so it's a 6yo b-day party.

DS didn't know about the party and doesn't remember getting an invite.

Yes, quite likely the other parent was misinformed about it being an all class party. Unfortunately she asked me about it in front of about five other FYOS parents, hence the "Awkward" in my post's title.

I have no intention of talking to X's parents about whether DS was invited.

Teacher doesn't get involved in parties beyond suggesting invites are by text/email, or if on paper, placed straight into invitees backpacks.

Edited by Ozquoll, 19 November 2019 - 05:42 PM.


#17 IamtheMumma

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:40 PM

I'd ask the teacher. I used to approach the teacher and ask how they wanted the invitations given out. Some are happy for in class and others prefer putting them in lockers.

If you felt confident, you could ask the mum.

Posted at the same time. Leave it then.

Edited by IamtheMumma, 19 November 2019 - 05:41 PM.


#18 JomoMum

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:41 PM

I wouldn’t say anything.

How do you think the other parent knows it’s an all class party? The only way she would know is from her own child .. hardly reliable.

My DS gets that stuff mixed up all the time. He once told me he was the only boy invited in his class to a girls party. Swore black and blue. He was not ..

Why are you wanting to follow up? What awkwardness are you worried about by following/not following up?

#19 José

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:43 PM

View PostOzquoll, on 19 November 2019 - 05:39 PM, said:

To answer:



Teacher doesn't get involved in parties beyond suggesting invites are by text/email, or if on paper, placed straight into invitees backpacks.

Oh, its like that!
I get that teachers have lots to do .
I don't have phone and email for most parents.
And invited straight into backpacks is just asking for them to get lost.

#20 Ozquoll

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:49 PM

View PostJomoMum, on 19 November 2019 - 05:41 PM, said:

I wouldn’t say anything.

How do you think the other parent knows it’s an all class party? The only way she would know is from her own child .. hardly reliable.

My DS gets that stuff mixed up all the time. He once told me he was the only boy invited in his class to a girls party. Swore black and blue. He was not ..

Why are you wanting to follow up? What awkwardness are you worried about by following/not following up?
I would think she knows (or mistakenly believes it) because X's parent told her, not her son.

The awkwardness is in reference to the parent asking me in front of a number of other FYOS parents if we were going to the party. I don't particularly want to follow up this (probably non-existent) invite - but we have had missing invites before because DS is pretty scatty about random bits of paper in his school backpack 🤷.

#21 MincePieMasterchef

Posted 19 November 2019 - 05:53 PM

View PostJomoMum, on 19 November 2019 - 05:41 PM, said:

Why are you wanting to follow up? What awkwardness are you worried about by following/not following up?

I would assume she wouldn't want her son left out if every other kid was going. That would be devastating to a 6yo.

Awkward if it wasn't a whole class party and her DS wasn't invited.

ETA - kids do say things to other kids that are wrong. Both my DDs this year were told they were invited to a kids party by said kid but the invite never actually eventuated.

Edited by WannabeMasterchef, 19 November 2019 - 05:55 PM.


#22 seayork2002

Posted 19 November 2019 - 06:03 PM

I found an invite in ds's pencil case (luckily in time) he never mentioned it.

No I would not ask the teacher as I do not think they are there for that and i am sure are busy enough

I would move on

#23 literally nobody

Posted 19 November 2019 - 06:05 PM

Id just leave it and move on.

#24 Heather11

Posted 19 November 2019 - 06:43 PM

Quote

And invited straight into backpacks is just asking for them to get lost.

This happened to DS in preschool.  
A mum approached me and asked whether my DS was attending her child's party.  I told her I wasn't aware of it.  She said the invite was in his bag.  I checked the front pocked which I never used and sure enough there was an invite.  I apologised and luckily we were able to make it.

I'm actually not sure I'm comfortable with parents touching other children's bags either.  I sure children are told not to touch other people's property.  If the invite is handed to the child who then puts it directly in their bag that is different.

#25 Ozquoll

Posted 19 November 2019 - 06:50 PM

View PostHeather11, on 19 November 2019 - 06:43 PM, said:

This happened to DS in preschool.  
A mum approached me and asked whether my DS was attending her child's party.  I told her I wasn't aware of it.  She said the invite was in his bag.  I checked the front pocked which I never used and sure enough there was an invite.  I apologised and luckily we were able to make it.
Exactly the same happened to us earlier this year. The bday boy in that case was very keen for DS to attend his party, and DS had a great time.




1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.