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Need a grandparents perspective


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#151 Sweet.Pea

Posted 04 December 2019 - 11:28 AM

View Postmagic_marker, on 04 December 2019 - 11:01 AM, said:



I had something similar said to me by my IL's.
If they're not vaccinated and they pass on WC to a baby, they won't see that baby for the rest of their lives. Because the potential is the child won't make it to see their 1st birthday.
My IL's had their nose out of joint because of not being able to eat soft cheeses and such while pregnant. It was very difficult to conceive in the first place. The comment l got was -"What did they do in the old days, we didn't have this". My answer was -"Babies DIED" That's what happened.

Why should they care whether you eat soft cheese or not?

Or did you tell them they couldn't eat it?

#152 CallMeFeral

Posted 04 December 2019 - 11:30 AM

View Postmagic_marker, on 04 December 2019 - 11:01 AM, said:

The comment l got was -"What did they do in the old days, we didn't have this". My answer was -"Babies DIED" That's what happened.

Yeah this is like my friend who was driving around (as passenger) with baby in her lap in place of a carseat (different country, it was legal, but she's from here and should know better). She did the "well that's how my sister and I travelled as kids and we're fine". I said "yes, because the ones who DIED from it aren't around to talk me now...".

#153 magic_marker

Posted 04 December 2019 - 12:25 PM

View PostSweet.Pea, on 04 December 2019 - 11:28 AM, said:

Why should they care whether you eat soft cheese or not?

Or did you tell them they couldn't eat it?

Listeria

ETA Should have made it more clear in my post - I was unable to eat it while pregnant. Most women are advised by their OB about Listeria while pregnant.

Edited by magic_marker, 04 December 2019 - 01:58 PM.


#154 Soontobegran

Posted 04 December 2019 - 12:44 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 04 December 2019 - 10:46 AM, said:



I agree with you if the grandparents are just occasional visitors.  If they are going to be in a more substantial caring role then I think they should have it.

Well no.
It only takes one occasion and most grandparents get up close and personal with their grand babies.

People need to stop giving them an out. You want to see your grandchild or not.

#155 Hollycoddle

Posted 04 December 2019 - 01:19 PM

View PostSoontobegran, on 04 December 2019 - 12:44 PM, said:

Well no.
It only takes one occasion and most grandparents get up close and personal with their grand babies.

People need to stop giving them an out. You want to see your grandchild or not.

I'm not giving them an out.  I was referring to the double standard Steppy was talking about where a new baby is taken out to a social outing and is handed around to every Tom, D*ck and Harry for a nurse.  It does happen.  The aforementioned baby is exposed to numerous unvaccinated people on a single occasion which might carry a similar or greater risk to that of unvaccinated grandparents who visit on several occasions over the course of the 8 weeks.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 04 December 2019 - 01:21 PM.


#156 -Emissary-

Posted 04 December 2019 - 05:51 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 04 December 2019 - 10:46 AM, said:

I agree with you if the grandparents are just occasional visitors.  If they are going to be in a more substantial caring role then I think they should have it.

Which is fine, just don’t kick up a stink if you get told to stay away for 8 weeks.

I don’t think there are many instances where someone is adamant the visitors are told to get 8 weeks vaccinations but then the parents take their baby to a pub and pass it around.

I know most of my friends didn’t take their kids out of the house for the first few weeks regardless of whether they asked visitors to get vaccination or not.

Edited by -Emissary-, 04 December 2019 - 05:55 PM.


#157 blimkybill

Posted 04 December 2019 - 06:18 PM

View Post-Emissary-, on 04 December 2019 - 05:51 PM, said:



Which is fine, just don’t kick up a stink if you get told to stay away for 8 weeks.

I don’t think there are many instances where someone is adamant the visitors are told to get 8 weeks vaccinations but then the parents take their baby to a pub and pass it around.

I know most of my friends didn’t take their kids out of the house for the first few weeks regardless of whether they asked visitors to get vaccination or not.
At the other end of the spectrum I have seen a few newborns in the public indoor pool recently.
I took my own baby to the gym a week after birth, she just sat there in her capsule. Most people would have thought me crazy.

#158 steppy

Posted 04 December 2019 - 09:11 PM

I personally would also stay home for 8 weeks until vaccination was possible. If grandparents didn't want a shot then that would be fine by me, but yes, until that time, they'd be seeing photos, not the baby.

And I wouldn't be the slightest bit offended.

#159 gracie1978

Posted 04 December 2019 - 09:47 PM

We aren't planning on doing much at all for the first few months.  Basically school run (it's a tiny school), walks around the streets and medical appointments.  Most of the mum's I know have a younger child so they're all vaccinated.
I will try and get to the mother's group sessions that the local mchn run.

We will also be limiting visitors.  We need a few months to sort ourselves out.  Plus I'll be recovering from major surgery and the twin pregnancy

I've handballed DP's parents to him, he's as stubborn as they are.  They're not responding to my messages now so I give up.

From memory with my son I was so focused on trying to sleep that I didn't have a huge desire to go anywhere for six weeks and if I did it was on my own (bliss).



#160 cvbn

Posted 05 December 2019 - 10:33 PM

I stayed at home  unless I had help.

I always bathed the babies when I had visitors, extra hands!

So excited for you x

#161 IamtheMumma

Posted 06 December 2019 - 04:13 AM

For the first 6 months, life with multiples is feed, sleep, laundry, feed, sleep, laundry.

Edited by IamtheMumma, 06 December 2019 - 04:13 AM.


#162 shellyb

Posted 09 December 2019 - 08:36 AM

Let them know you can get the immunisation at the chemist so they don't need the expense/hassle of going to the GP.

#163 babybug15

Posted 09 December 2019 - 09:18 AM

View PostMollycoddle, on 04 December 2019 - 01:19 PM, said:

I'm not giving them an out.  I was referring to the double standard Steppy was talking about where a new baby is taken out to a social outing and is handed around to every Tom, D*ck and Harry for a nurse.  It does happen.  The aforementioned baby is exposed to numerous unvaccinated people on a single occasion which might carry a similar or greater risk to that of unvaccinated grandparents who visit on several occasions over the course of the 8 weeks.

And you can sometimes just go out with the baby and have random people who you've never met before reach into the pram/capsule and start touching the baby and shove their faces close to them.

It happened twice to me with DS, during a time when whopping cough was in the news and there was a shortage of vaccines. My mother who was a hospital worker couldn't even get one as they were being reserved for pregnant women & partners- so yeah the whole argument that "grandparents must be vaccinated" was a bit of a moot point.

I had to toss up between "stay at home and go stir crazy" and "go for a walk and possibly have to run away from randoms with boundary issues". I was sleep deprived and shocked that people behave like this. I've learnt to be much ruder to people who overstep boundaries now.




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